She shook her head frantically, her eyes still focused on the man behind us. “Of course not,” she told me with a forced laugh. “No, it has nothing at all to do with the Golden Sparrow.”
I leveled my gaze at her and she exhaled heavily.
“I really can’t tell you,” she said again. Then she jerked her head in the direction we had just come. “Let’s get you home.”
“Are we going out tonight?” I asked, curious to see how she would react. My house was only a few blocks away and the sun was getting lower in the sky.
She kept her expression neutral as she said, “No.”
I nodded once, trying to look downcast, but then she plastered a smile to her face and added, “Besides, you’ve got a concert to practice for.”
“Right.” I dropped my eyes, ashamed and more than a little surprised at myself for having forgotten all about it. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had played. It felt more like a chore than anything to learn that sonata and as I stood before the piano an hour later, made the horrifying discovery that I no longer had the desire to sit in front of thousands of people, playing a song I knew I couldn’t master.
When had I lost my passion for music? How had it happened? Had I truly changed that much? I never imaged passions and dreams could just... go away. Not mine, anyways. I had wanted nothing else since I had been a child. I had always loved the way it felt to get lost in the music, in the tales it wove around me. But the longer I stood there, staring down at the beautiful instrument my father had gotten me not even a month after his return from the war, I felt nothing at all. There was nothing, no drive to sit and play and lose myself in the melodies.
Stepping away from the piano, I sank into my chair, my eyes still on the instrument as I felt the hollow sense of loss in the pit of my stomach grow bigger.
I didn’t want to play anymore.
As I let that realization sink in, I knew that the only problem that remained was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Mama.
Chapter 6
A week after the strange incident with Mimi found me sitting at a booth in the Red Clover with Frankie beside me and a half-empty sidecar in front of me. Mimi was sitting across from us, her chin in her hand, eyes glazed over as she stared blankly across the club. Her long fingers were tapping absentmindedly on the table and she didn’t bother to join in the conversation.
How Mimi managed to go on as if nothing had happened was beyond me. The bruise on her chin was gone and she was just as bold as ever. She smiled and laughed, she teased me and joked with Frankie. Had I not been there, I would never have thought we had been followed all over the city a week ago.
Frankie’s knee brushed my leg and I felt my heart skip a beat, drawing me back to him.
The way he kept leaning towards me, asking me question after question about my life and my passions made me believe he felt something stronger than friendship for me. The very thought brought a smile to my lips and I hid behind my sidecar to disguise it.
Catching my movement, Mimi looked to me, saw my empty glass and got to her feet, saying she would get us another round. Before I could utter a word, she was gone.
I craned my neck to watch her retreat into the dancing couples and then sat back, frowning slightly at the table, my thoughts drifting back to something Frankie had told me the week before.
“You told me Mimi is Mr. Basso’s... dame?” I lifted my eyes to his and saw him shift uncomfortably. “What, exactly, does that mean?”
Frankie ran his finger along the rim of his glass, looking hesitant.
“Look, it’s not really my place to talk about it,” he said after a long moment. “And I don’t know much about it anyways. What Mimi does when you aren’t here is her business. I don’t really talk to her much.”
“Because she’s always with that Mr. Basso?” I hedged and Frankie pursed his lips.
“Maybe,” he said.
“What do you know about him?” I asked suddenly, my thoughts on the bruise on Mimi’s chin. I wanted to know that Mimi was taking care of herself, that she wasn’t being mistreated. I knew she was, but I wanted to pretend, for a little longer, that she was alright.
“About Mr. Basso?” Frankie asked and I nodded. He turned his full attention to his glass, both hands lightly touching it as he said, “Not much. He’s a little more than a bootlegger, but I couldn’t say what he does. I don’t deal with him when he lets us perform here. That’s Liam’s job.”
“But do you think he’s dangerous?” I asked and Frankie gave me a quizzical look.
“Why are asking me all this?” he wanted to know. “I don’t know the man, I barely know Mimi, and I only just met you a few weeks ago. I couldn’t tell you much of anything even if I wanted to. Why do you want to know?”
Keeping my voice casual, I replied, “Well, it’s just that, last week, Mimi and I were being followed.” I toyed with the stem of my cocktail glass as I spoke. “She had us practically running through the streets. But now she’s acting as if nothing happened at all. It was all so strange and she’s never said another word about it.”
Frankie looked suddenly extremely uncomfortable and I leaned towards him eagerly.
“What is it?” I asked. “What do you know?”
He looked extremely reluctant as he said, “Well, I actually followed them a few nights ago down that hallway in the Golden Sparrow. I was curious and I know Mimi, so I wanted to make sure she was going to be alright...”
He trailed off and I felt my heart swell a little at his words.
“What happened?” I pressed when he didn’t immediately go on.
“It was hard to hear over the music,” he went on, his voice dropping slightly. “I don’t even know I heard it right.”
“What did you hear?”
“It sounded like...” He was hesitating and he glanced anxiously over his shoulder, as if Mr. Basso himself would be standing there, listening. “It sounded like screams.”
Chills raced down my spine and gooseflesh erupted all over my skin at his words. I shivered violently and tried not to imagine what horrors Mimi was witnessing.
“Screams?” I repeated and Frankie nodded once, swallowing convulsively. “You heard screams?”
“I did,” Frankie replied, looking unnerved. “I left as soon as I heard them and I haven’t gone back. Whatever Mimi’s doing with Mr. Basso, it’s not our business.”
Frankie drained his glass and set it back down on the table just as Mimi suddenly materialized next to the table, fresh drinks in hand and a broad-shouldered, dark-skinned man standing just behind her.
“Hazel,” Mimi said when she spotted the direction of my gaze, “I’d like to introduce you to Leo Warren. He’s a great friend of mine and I’ve wanted you to get to know each other for so long!”
“She barely talks of anything else,” Leo Warren said with a good-natured smile as Mimi set the drinks down onto the table before sliding into her seat. He followed her and I didn’t miss the way she leaned into him.
“Well, I have to say that this is the first time I’ve heard about you,” I said, looking pointedly at Mimi.
What was she thinking? Being out with a colored man in public? Had she lost her mind?
Frankie and I shared an incredulous look while Mimi cozied up to Leo.
“Will you be coming back to play with us?” Frankie asked Leo after an awkward moment.
When Leo looked up, I suddenly remembered seeing him once before. He had been the exuberant saxophone player I had seen on stage with Frankie and his brother’s on the night Frankie and I had met.
“I remember you,” I blurted just as Leo opened his mouth to respond. “You played the saxophone wonderfully.”
Leo looked pleased. “Thank you.” Then, to Frankie, he said, “Basso hasn’t asked me to come back, so I probably won’t play with you all anymore.”
“That’s a shame,” Frankie said regretfully as he lifted his drink to his lips. I didn’t miss the way he angled his body
towards me and I felt myself unconsciously lean closer to him in response. “We like having you play with us.”
I tried to shoot a sly look to Mimi, but she was already watching me. Then, flashing me a broad smile, she kissed Leo briefly on the cheek then shot me a look that dared me to question her.
In answer, I lifted my glass slightly in quiet toast to her brazenness, which only made her smile more.
“Where did you two meet?” I asked casually.
Mimi rested her head on Leo’s shoulder while he answered.
“At the Golden Sparrow,” he said. “I was playing for Frankie and his brother’s and when we were done, we sorta bumped into each other.”
“No,” Mimi said with a tiny, wistful sigh as she gazed, wide-eyed, up at Leo. There was a look of such intense adoration that I felt awkward, as if I had intruded on something private. “I did it on purpose.” She looked back to me, grinning. “I wanted to meet him, so I ran right into him. My drink ended up all over me but I didn’t care. He apologized and helped me get cleaned up. Then I managed to convince him to get me another drink and that was that.”
I wanted to know if this meeting happened before or after Mimi had gotten herself wrapped up with that Mr. Basso, but I held my tongue and took a large gulp of my sidecar instead.
They seemed completely at ease with one another, as if they had been seeing more of each other far longer than I could comprehend. Perhaps they had been together since before Mr. Basso, I thought as I watched the two of them chattering away happily to Frankie, who wasn’t at all fazed by the two of them.
Before long, Mimi and Leo excused themselves and my eyes followed the pair as they joined the other dancing couples before I turned to Frankie.
“Have you seen them together often?” I blurted before I could stop myself.
Frankie lifted an eyebrow at me, an amused expression on his face.
“I have,” he replied. Then he leaned his elbow on the table and fixed me with a curious expression. “Do you care?”
I shrugged, feeling strangely caught out.
Did I care? I asked myself as I looked back to Mimi and Leo. They were getting looks and some people were shooting Leo glares. A black man dancing with a white girl. It made me defensive and I almost got to my feet, maybe to tell them off or maybe to tell Mimi she should sit back down. But I stayed where I was, still wondering.
I did care, but not for the reasons I knew everyone who was watching them with open disgust did. I cared because Mimi was openly dancing with another man. I cared because we had been followed by someone I assumed worked for Mr. Basso. I cared because apparently Mimi did not.
Turning back to Frankie, I forced a smile and shook my head. “I don’t.” Then I jerked my head to the dance floor and asked, “Shall we?”
As we danced, I kept my eye on Mimi and Leo. They were in their own world, oblivious to the tension forming around them as they danced.
“How’s practice for your concert going?” Frankie asked after a while.
I dropped my eyes to our feet, unwilling to respond. I hadn’t told anyone that I had given up. I hadn’t even told the director yet, which I knew I needed to do sooner rather than later. If I did it soon, he would have time to fill the slot I would be leaving vacant. He might be more forgiving then.
Clearing my throat, I said, “I’ve, uh, decided to drop out of the concert.”
We stopped abruptly and when I looked up at Frankie’s face, it was to find him staring down at me in disbelief.
“Why?” he asked me.
I shrugged. “I don’t think it’s what I want after all,” I said honestly. Then I gave my head a tiny shake and slipped out of his arms to make my way back to our table. I didn’t bother to see if he was following, I knew he was.
“What do you mean?” Frankie wanted to know as we settled back down into our table. “Then what do you want?”
I sighed heavily. “I don’t know. But performing in concert halls isn’t as appealing to me as it was even a month ago. I don’t know what’s changed, but I can barely even sit down at the piano to practice, so I can’t imagine me sitting on a stage with thousands of people expecting me to play for them.”
“What will you do then?” he asked. “Have you told your mother or Mimi?”
I smiled at the idea that Mimi knowing was just as important as my mother knowing.
“No, I haven’t told them yet,” I said, still smiling. “You’re the only one I’ve told—and only because you asked. I don’t think my mother has even noticed that I’ve stopped playing.”
“So what will you do now?” he wondered with a grin. “Will you spend all day sleeping and all night dancing and drinking?”
I laughed and said, “It sounds appealing.” But then I sighed. “Mama wants me to start thinking like a ‘proper young lady’, so the dinner parties will most likely be more frequent and she’ll make me dance with every eligible man New York has to offer.”
Frankie’s cheeks turned pink and he looked back out over the dancing couples. He watched them without speaking for a while until he said, “Your mam wants you to get married soon.”
I placed a hand on his arm, as if hoping to convey how much I would rather have him than anyone else, drawing his attention back to me.
“She wouldn’t approve of me anyhow,” he said, slipping out of my reach.
The rejection stung and I slid slightly away from him, tucking my hands safely in my lap while I stared without seeing at a spot on the wall above the bar.
“She’ll want you to marry someone who could buy up the city if he felt like it,” Frankie went on. His expression was dark and there was an angry spark in his eyes.
“But I wouldn’t do that,” I said, not looking at him. “She knows that. She has tried and tried to get me to think of marrying whomever is sitting next to me at dinner, but I haven’t. I won’t.”
Mimi and Leo returned at that moment and the two of them sat down, laughing heartily about something. Neither one of them seemed to notice the tension that had sprung up between me and Frankie.
“Golly, tonight’s been fun,” Mimi said before picking up her drink and chugging it. “Have you two enjoyed yourselves?”
Mimi giggled and I watched as she and Leo shared a brief kiss before getting to my feet.
“It’s late,” I said abruptly. “I need to get home.”
“Oh, well, Frankie?” Mimi said, looking pointedly at him. “Are you gonna take her home? Or do Leo and I get that honor?”
Frankie shook his head and looked up at me. “No, I’ll take her.”
My heart thumped with hope. His dark mood seemed to have cleared and as he got to his feet, I shot him a small smile which he returned earnestly.
“You two have a good night,” Frankie said as I moved around the table to Mimi.
She stayed seated, but I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a hug. But before I let go, I whispered, “Be careful. People are watching and they aren’t happy.”
I felt Mimi shrug and I released her, hoping she would heed my words.
“Goodnight, Leo,” I said to him. “It was wonderful to meet you.”
Leo smiled warmly at me and bid me goodnight.
Before Frankie and I stepped out of the club, I glanced back at them one more time, saw them wholly absorbed in one another, and turned back around to follow Frankie from the club.
“When will you tell your mam?” Frankie asked after a few minutes of silent walking.
“About dropping out of the concert?” I wondered and Frankie nodded. “Soon, I think. I’ll have to. She’ll notice eventually that I’m not practicing and I’ll have to tell her why. But I’m sure she’ll be happy. She never wanted me to do it in the first place.”
My hand kept brushing his as we walked towards home. It surprised me just how much I wished he would just take my hand in his and be with it, but he didn’t. My hand itched with the urge to take his hand into mine and, as we crossed the street, his hand brushed mine once agai
n, so I twined my fingers through his hand. I was rewarded with him gripping my hand tight and I felt my lips curve in pleasure.
“Do you think Mimi and Leo will be alright?” I asked after a while as we left East Harlem behind and entered my neighborhood.
“Mmm?” Frankie glanced down at me then back up to the street. “I’m sure they will. Leo can take care of himself.”
“He seemed nice,” I allowed.
“He is,” Frankie replied. “And he’s a great saxophone player.”
I looked up at him then, amused. He was tall, I found myself noticing. And lanky, with hands that were slightly too big for his body.
“Is that his only redeeming quality?” I asked with a laugh.
“No,” Frankie said. He paused, seeming to be in deep thought. Then he sighed, gave a shake of his head, and added, “But I don’t know him well enough to have much of an opinion on him.”
Grinning, I fell silent and we did not speak again until we reached my house and when we did, Frankie stopped short, his eyes wide as he took in the face of my house.
“Here we are,” Frankie said as we came to a stop by the steps.
“Mmm.” I glanced back at the house then back to Frankie.
“Have you always lived here?” he asked suddenly.
“Most of my life,” I replied, puzzled at his question. “My parents moved here when i was only about three or four. I can’t remember where we lived before then, but these houses were brand new when they bought this one.”
Frankie nodded once, slowly, his eyes on the dark windows above us.
“Can I see you again?” I asked him in a small voice after a few moments of prolonged silence.
Looking back down at me, he smiled a little. “When?”
I shrugged. “Tomorrow?” I suggested. “We could meet in Central Park for lunch or something.”
Frankie’s smile widened. “Sure. I’d like that.”
It was quiet for another moment and it looked as though he was having an intense debate with himself when he finally gave a tiny shake of his head and lifted his eyes to mine, his expression softening.
The Golden Sparrow Page 9
