The Ruins Of Us
Mayhem Book III
Catharina Maura
Copyright © 2020 by Catharina Maura
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
For you
Thank you for following Emilia and Carter’s story, and for supporting my career. I couldn’t have done this without you.
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Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Exclusive Extra Content
Afterword
Also by Catharina Maura
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Emilia
“God, that was exhausting,” my manager says as we walk out of the client’s office.
I suppress a yawn and nod. We’ve been working on closing this deal for months now. I can barely believe it’s actually finally over.
“But hey, we did it,” she adds. She holds her hand up for me to high five, and I grin as my palm meets hers.
Alice, my boss and mentor, has trained me since my very first day at the firm. We’ve grown together, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if not for her. She’s the reason I decided to specialize in transaction law, just like she did. The merger that was signed today cost us months of prep and sleepless nights, but it was so worth it in the end.
Alice puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles, radiating with pride. “Come on, let’s grab cocktails. We’ve worked hard enough today.”
I glance at my watch and burst out laughing. “It’s only two in the afternoon.”
Alice shrugs and drags me to the pub near the office that we frequent. We walk to our usual table and take a seat. “I’m proud of you, you know?” Alice says. “You handled this entire engagement almost entirely by yourself.”
I smile at her in thanks. I definitely have come a long way in the eight years since I moved to London. The city I ran away to has become home to me. It doesn’t feel like it’s been eight years, though. Not even remotely.
“This year has flown by,” I murmur. “Can’t believe we spent a quarter of it on just this one single client.”
Alice sighs and nods. “At least the holidays are only around the corner. Is your Dad coming to see you again, or are you going home this year? I don’t think you’ve gone home once since we started working together. Don’t you miss it?”
For a split second my mind flashes back to Woodstock. To the home I grew up in… and the house right next to mine. I think of him, and my heart twists painfully. I force my thoughts away and shake my head.
“No,” I murmur, smiling tightly. “London is home to me now.”
Alice looks at me with that blank expression that I hate — it’s that expression she puts on when she’s cracking a case. I look away and lift my glass to hers. “Cheers,” I say, smiling as brightly as I can.
Even the memory of home still ruins my mood. The memory of everything I lost, everything I left behind. I’ve worked so hard to build myself a new life, one I can be proud of, yet I still don’t think I’m strong enough to go back. It still hurts too much.
“Fair enough,” Alice says, thankfully changing the topic. “How is that cute boyfriend of yours?”
I smile to myself, the aching of my heart dulling at the thought of Sam. We met at university, and we were friends for years before I finally agreed to go on a date on him. I wish I hadn’t taken so long to give him a chance, because he’s been nothing but wonderful. “We’ve been dating close to a year now, and things couldn’t be more perfect,” I tell her. I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again, not truly, but what I feel for Sam is as close as it’s going to get.
“I’m glad you’re finally dating. For a while I thought you’d become a spinster, for sure. It’s good to see you happy.”
I roll my eyes. “Does anyone even use that word anymore? And I’m only twenty-seven, Alice.”
She shrugs. “You act like you’re eighty, though.”
I glare at her and take a sip of my cocktail. The truth is, for a long time I thought I’d become a spinster too. If not for Sam’s persistence, I don’t think I’d ever have dated anyone. Not a single man I met could measure up. I bite down on my lip and force my thoughts away. It’s stupid, but I can’t even think of his name without my heart hurting. Eight years, and I’m still not completely over him.
I finish my drink and Alice glances at her watch. “Let’s just call it a day. You and I have both barely gotten any sleep in the last week, so let’s just go home,” she says. I grin at her and shake my head. I’m so lucky to have her as my boss. She’s trained me from the very start, and she always has my back.
“Thank you,” I say, smiling. Alice looks at me, and she looks that way she occasionally does… like she’s worried about me. Sometimes I wonder if she can see right through me, to that broken part of me that I keep hidden. Thankfully she doesn’t say anything, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
I’m absentminded the entire way home. The mere mention of Woodstock has me wondering what my life might have looked like if I hadn’t left when I did. Would we be married now? Would we be living in California? Would he and I have made it at all? It hurts to think of everything we could have had.
My heart twists painfully as I walk up to my apartment building and I close my eyes, steadying myself against my front door.
I inhale deeply before walking in, only to freeze in surprise when I realize my apartment isn’t empty, as it should’ve been.
Sam turns around in surprise, his eyes wide and his hands filled with pink decorations. Sam has a key to my apartment, but he doesn’t usually drop by without notice. “Hey, you’re home,” he says, frowning. “I was trying to surprise you.”
I glance at the d
ecorations in his hands in confusion. “I thought you’d still be at the hospital?” I murmur.
He shakes his head and smiles. “I swapped shifts. I’m free all night today. Didn’t expect you to be back anytime soon, though.”
Sam walks up to me and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Did you have a good day?”
I smile up at him and nod. “What’s all this?” I ask, and his smile drops.
He inhales deeply and shakes his head. “You forgot,” he says, all the cheer leaving him instantly. I bite down on my lip and glance around, my eyes widening when realization dawns.
“No, of course not,” I murmur, trying to play it off. “Happy Anniversary,” I whisper. How could I have forgotten? I glance at the flowers on my dining table and the heart shaped balloons on the floor. I’m the worst girlfriend ever. I didn’t even get him a card. Scratch that, I didn’t even remember.
“You did forget,” he says, and the accusation in his voice is heart wrenching.
I sigh and drop my forehead to his chest. “I’m sorry, Sam,” I whisper. “It’s just been such a long week at work. I’ve barely had time to sleep. I’m just so tired.”
I know it’s an excuse, and I think he knows it too, but he lets me get away with it nonetheless. Sam wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my temple.
“I know, honey. It’s all right. I know how busy you’ve been this week,” he says, and I feel even worse. Sam is a doctor specializing in neurosurgery — he’s far busier than I’ve ever been, yet he nods in understanding.
“I love the balloons,” I murmur, smiling up at him. Sam shakes his head, and my eyes roam over his bright green eyes and his sandy brown hair. He looks as tired as I probably do, yet he’s smiling up at me with so much love in his eyes. How did I get this lucky? I need to do better. Sam deserves the world, and it’s past time I try to give it to him. I can’t keep living in the past.
Chapter 2
Carter
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I’m so fucking exhausted. I’ve worked fourteen-hour days every single day this month, and I need a fucking break. I can’t, though. Not now. Not anytime soon.
I walk up to my car and yawn. How long am I going to be able to keep this up? I’ve already employed half the town, but it seems like I’ll need to hire even more people soon. The company is growing quicker than I anticipated, and Asher and I can barely keep up.
I pull up in front of John’s house without even realizing it. I’d been planning to go straight home, but I ended up here nonetheless. Every once in a while, I find myself back here without realizing it. I step out of the car and shake my head. Since I’m here, I might as well say hello and drop by my parents’ house next door too. I ring the bell and lean back against the wall as I wait for John to open the door.
He glares at me as the door swings open. “Boy, I gave you a key for a reason,” he says, scowling. I smile and follow him in, my eyes lingering on the photos of Emilia and John in the hallway. I’ve memorized every single one of these photos, yet the memory of her fades more and more with each passing day. When I close my eyes, I struggle to remember what her smile looks like. I struggle to imagine the way she used to look at me, yet I can never forget the way she’s always made me feel. I tear my gaze away and follow John into the living room.
“How have you been, old man?”
He looks frail and tired. The dialysis keeps getting harder on him, yet he’s refusing my help.
“Fine.”
I sigh and drop down on the sofa. “You’re obviously not fine. I’m pulling every string I can, John, but I’ve only barely been able to move you up the transplant list.”
John smiles at me, and for just a second, I see the man he used to be. I never expected it to happen, but when Emilia left, John and I ended up becoming closer. I felt so bad for the sacrifices she’d made for my family that I wanted to make sure to take care of her Dad in her absence. It started with me offering to get a drink together, and John having to take me home, wasted and in tears over his daughter. Ever since then, he’s slowly but surely become a second dad to me. It kills me that I can’t help him. I’ve got all the money in the world, yet I can’t get him a kidney transplant. Not legally, anyway. I’m not above sourcing one elsewhere if he doesn’t have one when time starts to run out. There isn’t much I won’t do to save his life.
“You chased the latest nurse away, I heard.”
I keep hiring him nurses, and he keeps finding new ways to chase them away. I finally learned where Emilia got her wild streak.
“The fake eyes in jars were a nice touch. I got a call from Officer Oliver this afternoon, telling me they had to come in and search your house because your latest nurse reported that you were harboring body parts. I was told she feared for her life.”
He chuckles and I inhale deeply. I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. He’s just as stubborn as she is.
“I don’t need help,” he says, crossing his arms. “I’m not a child, Carter. I don’t need a caretaker.”
I bite down on my lip and shake my head. “I don’t get why you’re being so difficult. I have money, John. Why won’t you at least let me hire you a chef that can create a diet for you that works with your treatment? Every time I see you, you look thinner. And what’s with chasing away the nurses, anyway? They’re here so you can do your dialysis at home. Do you really want to go back and forth to the dialysis center every single time?”
John looks away, falling quiet. I look up at him in surprise. He always has a retort ready for me, but not today, it seems. He glances at his phone in his hands for a few seconds, and then he nods.
“I’ll take you up on your offer,” he tells me, his eyes steady and calm. I’m startled. I haven’t seen that look in his eyes in years. He looks confident and just a little… calculative.
I look at him with raised brows. “Which one of my offers?”
He smiles, and my shackles are raised. When he looks at me like that, he looks just like the fearsome prosecutor he used to be.
“I’ll move into that ridiculous mansion of yours. You have a perfectly good chef, don’t you? And you have space for all the equipment and supplies I’ll need if I want to have in-home dialysis. Besides, you have that nice little gym of yours. I’m supposed to keep working out to stay healthy, but it’s getting too cold to go for walks.”
I blink at him in surprise. I’ve been asking him to move in with me for months now. Why is he suddenly agreeing?
I nod slowly, feeling blindsided somehow. I’m not certain what he’s up to, but he’s got something up his sleeve for sure. “Okay, great. I’ll make the arrangements, and I’ll attempt to hire another nurse, if there’s even a single agency left that’ll still take my calls. I’ll have everything ready for you in a week or so, all right? I’ll send my assistant over to help you pack and coordinate the move.”
John nods and claps me on the back as he walks me out. “Thank you, Carter,” he says. “You know, I’ve never said this to you, but you’re the son I never had.”
I grin at him as I walk out, but I can’t shake the feeling that I just got played. I’m still feeling off as I walk up to my parents’ house.
“Mom?” I shout as I walk in. I hear the clattering of pots and pans and follow the sound into the kitchen. She looks surprised to see me and walks up to hug me.
“My baby, you’re home,” she says, beaming. I nod and tighten my grip on her, lifting her off the floor with ease. “Your dad just went to bed. Did you go see John?”
I nod. “Yeah. He finally agreed to move in with me, you know?”
Mom smiles. “It’s about time. I’m worried about him staying in that house all by himself. Every time I try to go over to keep an eye on him, he ends up shooing me away. At yours at least he’ll have staff around at all times. It’ll probably be easier for him to accept some help that way.”
I nod in agreement and glance over at the mess she’s made in the kitchen, but I know better than to ask q
uestions. When she’s baking up a storm it usually means she’s worrying about Kate again.
Kate moved to London years ago, and part of me wonders if it’s because she wanted to follow Emilia. As far as I’m aware, the two haven’t spoken in years. I wonder why she chose to go there of all places.
“You staying over?”
I nod and yawn again. I might as well. I’m here now, anyway. I kiss Mom goodnight and walk up the stairs to my childhood bedroom. I walk in and pause by the door, my eyes lingering on the view from the window. My heart still aches every single time I look into her room. John has left everything untouched, and every time I’m here, memories assail me. It’s so easy to fool myself into believing that she’ll walk up to her window any second now. I haven’t seen her in years. I don’t even know who she is anymore, yet my heart still aches at the thought of her. It’s foolish, but even after all these years, Emilia owns a little part of my heart.
The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3) Page 1
