She glances at me before clicking on the photo gallery icon, her eyes filled with insecurity. She frowns as she scrolls through my photos, finding nothing other than photos of documents and family. She goes through my texts next, and I can’t tell if she’s disappointed or relieved when she finds that they’re equally boring.
She hands me back my phone, her lips forming a pout that’s far too cute on her. “And you call me boring,” she murmurs, amusement dancing in her eyes.
I shrug and put my phone in my pocket. “You’re always welcome to do something about the boring contents of my phone,” I murmur, winking at her. “Matter of fact, I can already imagine it. Some hot photos, even hotter text messages…”
Emilia looks at me through narrowed eyes and brushes past me. I grin as I follow her into the meeting room. My phone buzzes just as I sit down, and I frown at it in surprise when I realize it’s a text from Emilia. I glance at her, but she’s staring at her phone, an amused smile on her face.
I open the text to find a photo of red chili peppers, along with at least a hundred emojis of fire and chilis. I snicker, I can’t help it. “So lame,” I tell her, and she giggles. “Seriously, so lame,” I repeat, but I can’t get the smile off my face. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed this. Lame jokes and that smile of hers.
I can’t keep my eyes off Emilia throughout the meeting. This has got to be the most boring meeting I’ve been in, but she’s taking notes as though she’s scared she might miss a critical piece of information. It’s so her. She was like this at school too. Her notes were always ridiculously detailed. It’s no wonder she became a lawyer.
I bite back a yawn as the meeting wraps up and scroll through my contacts, pausing on her phone number. I glance at her, wondering just how pissed off she’s going to get when I do this, and then I do it anyway. I press dial, and all of a sudden, Crazy Frog, the most annoying song known to mankind, starts to play. Emilia jumps in shock, and it takes her a good couple of seconds to realize that it’s her phone that’s ringing. I burst out laughing, her expression too priceless, and she looks at me.
Emilia shakes her head, her lips opening and closing in shock, and then she bursts out laughing too. The two of us just sit there, chuckling like two school kids, Crazy Frog playing in the background. I have a room full of employees staring at us in shock, but I couldn’t care less. This is the happiest I’ve felt in forever.
Chapter 24
Emilia
The prank Carter pulled on me in today’s meeting still has me smiling to myself. It’s been years since I’ve felt even remotely playful. I forgot how it feels to laugh like that. I kind of want to retaliate. I want to make him laugh the way he made me laugh.
“What are you smiling about, Princess?” Dad asks.
I grin at him and shake my head. Dad is hooked up to his machine, his hand in mine. “Oh, it’s nothing. Do you remember that really annoying ring tone everyone was downloading back when I was a kid? It was called Crazy Frog. It was the worst.”
Dad laughs and nods. “Yes, I remember. You and the Clarke kids drove me half insane with it.”
I giggle. “Well, today Carter managed to change my phone’s ringtone to that song. Then he called me in the middle of a meeting. I had no idea whether I should be mortified or amused,” I say, laughing. “I can’t believe he’s still so childish.”
Dad smiles at me indulgently. “He still makes you laugh, huh?”
I nod, thinking back to the two of us sitting in that meeting, both of us laughing. “He’s the CEO of such a huge company, yet he still does stuff like that. He really should take himself a little more serious.”
Dad grins knowingly. “Oh, he does, Emilia. He does, around anyone that isn’t you. You’re the only one that gets to see that side of him. The only one that brings it out.”
I look up at Dad, startled. I smile tightly and shake my head, but before I can even deny it, Dad interrupts. “I assume you’re going to get him back for this?” he says, an amused look in his eyes.
I giggle. “Of course, Daddy. Who do you think I am? I went straight to the little toy store in town and bought myself a set of supplies.”
Dad laughs, his entire frame shaking. “That’s the spirit, Princess,” he says. The way he’s looking at me warms my heart. It’s like he hasn’t seen me in forever, even though I’ve been with him for weeks now.
My phone buzzes and I glance at it, tensing when I realize it’s Sam. “Sam just messaged to say that he’s booked his tickets,” I tell Dad. He glances at my phone, his expression guarded. I should be eager to see him again, but things haven’t been the same between us in a while now. I keep feeling like he doesn’t understand me, like he doesn’t truly care about what’s going on. Everything he says grates on me, and we keep arguing.
“It’ll be wonderful to have him here for Thanksgiving and New Year’s. But we don’t have plans, do we?” I say, trying my best not to let my agitation show.
Dad purses his lips and shakes his head. “I usually spend Thanksgiving with the Clarkes and then I come see you for Christmas. Carter has been hosting Christmas here for years now, but I always spend it with you in London.”
My expression falls. How could I have forgotten that he usually spends Thanksgiving at Carter’s house? He rarely talks about it, but he’s mentioned their invites before. The last thing I want to do is spend Thanksgiving with Helen, and I doubt she’d even have me. I bet I’m still just a reminder of what happened to Kate. I bet she still blames me.
I’ve tried my best not to wonder about Kate. I know she doesn’t live here anymore, or I’d have run into her weeks ago, but she’ll probably come back for Thanksgiving, and maybe even Christmas too. Both are huge affairs at the Clarkes. I don’t want to see her. I might want to avoid Helen, but that doesn’t even come close to how badly I want to avoid Kate. When everything went down with her and I left, I’d just felt hurt. But now? Now I’m mad. I’m angry that I loved both of them so much, yet I was treated like some sort of pariah. I’m mad at them for hurting me the way they did, but I’m even more mad at myself for letting it happen for so long. There were always signs. Little things Kate would say or do that I’d just ignore.
“So, Sam and you are quite serious, huh?” Dad says cautiously, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look at him and nod. I guess we are.
“Do you think he’s the one?”
I stare at Dad in surprise and laugh nervously. “Dad, where is this coming from?”
Dad tightens my grip on my hand and sighs. “Well, you said you two are moving in together. I guess the next step is marriage, isn’t it?”
I nod, but the mere thought of that gives me anxiety. I can’t imagine getting married. I love Sam, and I love my life back in London, but I just can’t imagine it all being so… permanent. The thought of it terrifies me. I feel panicked just thinking about walking down the aisle and finding Sam waiting for me.
I bite down on my lip and shake my head. “We haven’t even moved in together yet, Daddy,” I murmur. “I do like the idea of you walking me down the aisle, though.”
Dad finally smiles and nods. “I’ll be there to do that, Emilia.”
I tighten my grip on his hand and nod. I really need to go to the clinic to discuss a paired donation, and any other options, but I’ve been avoiding going back in to see Layla. I can’t even look at her, knowing she’s had everything that used to be mine.
“I never asked you, Dad, but what do you think of Sam?”
Dad sighs. “He’s a nice man, Emilia. He’s well educated, and from what I can see, he treats you very well.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but there?”
Dad looks at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. “Because there is, Princess. I might like him, but he doesn’t make you come alive. Maybe I’m biased, because I only spent three weeks with you last year, and I met him only a handful of times… but I can tell, Emilia. I want you to be so happy that it radiates around you, and with Sam, you just appear to be c
ontent. I want more for you than that, no matter how good of a guy he might be.”
“No, Daddy,” I say, trying my best to reassure him. “I love Sam. He does make me come alive. I guess I might have just been busy with work the last time you visited. He’ll be here soon, and you’ll understand then.”
Dad nods, but it doesn’t look like he believes me at all. I never knew. I had no idea that Dad was thinking any of this. I don’t want him worrying about me. When Sam gets here, I’d better make sure that he sees just how good we are together. I never really consciously thought of it, but I guess Sam most likely is the guy I’ll end up marrying. I want Dad to like him. It might be hard due to the distance, but I’d really like for Dad and Sam to develop some sort of bond. I’m my dad’s only family, so whoever I marry will definitely have to be good to Dad too. I know Sam will be great with Dad, but I’m starting to wonder if he and I are just too far away from Dad. I’m not sure I can bare to leave Dad behind to return to work in London, and I don’t know what that means for Sam and me.
Chapter 25
Emilia
I wake up exhausted on Sunday morning. I’ve been overthinking things all weekend, and I haven’t slept a wink. The longer I’m here, the more I think I want to stay. I’ll need to talk to Sam, but I don’t even know if I want to ask him to move here with me. I walk into the kitchen, irritated.
“You look cute.”
I freeze and look up to find Carter leaning back against the kitchen counter in nothing but his swim shorts, his hair still wet. He’s got a coffee cup in his hands and raises it to his lips. I hate that he looks so good. I hate that I still find him so damn attractive. Freaking Carter.
“More stolen goods, huh?” he murmurs, his eyes roaming over my body. I was so tired this morning that I stormed out in nothing but Carter’s tee. I glance down at my outfit, my cheeks heating.
Carter holds up his coffee cup for me and I take it from him gratefully. I take a huge gulp and sigh in delight. Carter chuckles and brushes my hair behind my ear. “You’re still fucking terrifying before you’ve had your coffee in the morning,” he murmurs, and I look up at him in surprise, my lips tipping up in a smile. “I feared for my life in New York, you know?”
“Shut up,” I murmur, making him laugh.
Carter takes a step closer and steals his coffee back from me, earning him a glare. “Just one sip, Minx,” he whispers. My heart still skips a beat when he calls me Minx. I didn’t think I’d ever get to hear that again.
I pull on his hand, wanting his coffee back, and he chuckles. I take the coffee from him, and Carter cages me in, his arms on either side of me. I look up at him cheekily as I take another sip of his coffee, and Carter laughs.
That’s how Dad finds us, standing in the kitchen, being petty over a cup of coffee. He grins at us, and Carter takes a step away. Dad’s eyes drop to my coffee cup, and he frowns before looking at Carter.
“I thought you said that was your cup? Every time I try to use it you throw a fit.”
I look at it — truly look at it — and my face drains of color. This… this is the same cup Carter asked me to be his girlfriend with, isn’t it? I look up at him in question, and he looks away, a slight blush tainting his cheeks. “Why do you still have this?” I whisper.
He smiles tightly and looks away, robbing me of an answer. He joins Dad on the chairs by the kitchen counter and I sigh. “You’re gonna get the chairs all wet,” I murmur, shaking my head. “Why don’t you change into something else? Something warm, maybe? You’ll catch a cold like that.”
Carter looks at me, his eyes twinkling with amusement, and shakes his head. Dad glances from me to him and smiles to himself before turning to Carter. “You’re going home for Sunday lunch?” he asks, and my heart twists painfully. Sunday lunches at the Clarkes feature in some of my best memories.
Carter nods, and Dad sighs. “Come with me,” he tells Dad. “Mom has been asking about you. I think she’s worried, and I know you miss playing cards with Dad. Why don’t you come with me?”
Dad glances at me and my heart sinks.
“Carter is right, I have missed Sunday lunch at the Clarkes. I’d really like to go, Emilia, and I’d really like it if you joined me.”
Dad looks so hopeful, so pleading. It’s been so easy to forget that he’s sick, because he never acts like it. But he is, and it’s my turn to take care of him. I nod very subtly, as though I’m scared to even commit to it. Since coming here I haven’t done anything for Dad, not anything meaningful anyway. The staff robs me of every opportunity. But this, this is something I can do for him.
I glance at Carter, my smile so tight that it feels unnatural. “If my father wishes for it, I’ll join you. I’m not certain if your mother would be happy to host me, though. If not, then I’d be very grateful if you could take him, instead.”
Carter looks worried and shakes his head. “No, Mom would love to have you. She’s been wanting to come over and speak to you, but I… I thought it might not be a good idea. Please, come.”
I nod, and that’s that. I try my best to delay as much as I can, but a couple of hours later, we’re standing in front of the Clarkes house. I consider coming up with an excuse and bailing, but I can’t. I can’t, because Dad is holding onto my hand tightly, looking more excited than I’ve seen him look in weeks.
I had no idea I’d been keeping him away from his usual routine. I didn’t come here to disrupt his life. I can manage to smile and nod for one afternoon. For Dad, I can do that.
The door opens and Helen appears, her eyes bright and excited. She greets Carter, and then Dad, before finally smiling at me. I try my best to return her smile, but I fail.
“Thank you for having me,” I tell her through gritted teeth, and she nods at me, flustered. I follow the boys in and glance around in surprise. Almost everything has changed. The entire house looks renovated. A lot of it has a similar feel to it as Carter’s house. I guess his parents probably didn’t want to move, so he did the house up instead.
Carter’s dad, William, rises from his seat when I walk in. He walks up to me and ruffles my hair, and my heart warms. He’s always been as good to me as he could be. Even towards the end he tried his best to remain impartial. I take a seat at the dining table, and I don’t even realize I’ve sat down in what used to be my usual spot here until Carter and Helen both look at me, their eyes filled with what can only be described as nostalgia. I regret it immediately. I’m not here to reminisce. I try to eat in silence, but Helen and William don’t make it easy. Both of them keep trying to involve me in the conversation, and it hurts. It hurts that they all moved on with their lives, that they all seem to be so happy after they asked me to rip my heart out for their daughter’s happiness.
I breathe a sigh of relief when my phone rings, and I excuse myself. Even a small reprieve will give me the breathing room I crave.
Chapter 26
Carter
Everyone falls silent when Emilia leaves the room, and Mom visibly deflates. “She hates me,” Mom says.
Dad shakes his head. “No, she doesn’t. Emilia doesn’t have it in her to hate anyone.”
I know Dad, and I can hear the unspoken remainder of that sentence. But if she did, she would definitely hate you.
I smile at Mom as best as I can. “You haven’t really seen her in years, and it’s probably strange to be back here and to find everyone acting like nothing ever happened.”
I don’t really know what I expected of my mother, but it certainly wasn’t this — pretending like she never hurt Emilia. Like she didn’t blame her for Kate’s actions, like she didn’t ask her to leave. Mom hasn’t even acknowledged the past, let alone apologized, and I want her to do both. It won’t undo the pain Emilia went through at our hands, and it won’t erase all the nights she cried herself to sleep in our apartment, but it might give her a small amount of closure. That’s the only thing we can still offer her.
“Excuse me,” I murmur, rising from my seat. I know Em
ilia, and she never takes calls during dinner. She doesn’t even pick up when it’s Sam. Her leaving mid-dinner just now can only mean two things: it’s either truly urgent, or she’s running.
I walk into the hallway and find her standing on the middle of the stairs, her phone to her ear. She grazes the edges of the photo frames along the staircase with her fingers, slowly walking up the stairs, absentmindedly. I follow behind her and watch her slip into my bedroom. I thought she might go into Kate’s room, but I should’ve known better. Of course it’s mine.
Emilia leaves the door ajar, and I lean back against the wall just outside my room, my eyes fluttering closed.
“Yes, it’s been quite hard. Just seeing him hooked up to that machine for hours every day… I can barely take it. There isn’t much I can do either. The only thing I can really do for my dad is stay strong and just be there.”
I wonder who she’s talking to. Her voice sounds warm and caring, whoever she’s speaking to is obviously someone she’s close to. Is it Sam?
“Did Sam tell you that?” she asks, sounding somewhat shy. “Yes, we’re planning on moving in together, but honestly, we haven’t really talked through the logistics yet. We’re both renting, so we could either find something new together, or just move into either one of our apartments. I guess that’s something we’ll need to figure out when I’m back.”
So not Sam, then. Emilia laughs, and I smile to myself. I’ve always loved the sound of her laughter, and even now it affects me.
“He said that? Yes, your son is usually so romantic, Nancy, but when asking me to move in with him he literally just blurted it out over dinner.”
The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3) Page 10
