“I can leave. I wasn’t even planning on staying here with Sam,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.
Carter turns back to face me, his eyes flashing with anger. He laughs humorlessly and walks back to me. “What, you wanted to take him to your old house? Share your childhood bed with him? Spend some alone time with him? What exactly did you need all that privacy for?”
He grabs my waist, and before I know it, he’s got me lifted up against the wall. I instinctively wrap my legs around him, and he pushes against me.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he tells me. “You’re crazy if you think I’ll let you to be alone in your old house. It isn’t happening, Emilia.”
I’m breathing hard and my hands find their way into his hair without me even realizing it. “That isn’t it. I just thought it’d be easier,” I whisper.
I want to be unaffected, but my heart is racing from just having him so close to me. I subconsciously tighten my legs around his waist. If he’d held me just a little lower, he’d be pressing right up against me. I pray he won’t notice just how hard my nipples are against his chest.
“Easier?” he repeats. “Fuck that. I’m not making this easy on you. I don’t give a fuck that you’re his. He’s not touching you. He’s not laying a fucking finger on you, you hear me?”
I look into his eyes and nod, and Carter relaxes just slightly. His hands drop to my ass, and he squeezes tightly, almost painfully so. Carter repositions me so I’m wrapped around his hips, and I bite down on my lip. He’s hard, and my body still responds to him the way it always has. I try my best to push down a wave of intense desire and swallow hard.
“Say it, Emilia,” he orders.
“He’s not touching me, Carter,” I whisper, my thighs quivering.
His gaze is unfocused, and I can’t help but wonder just how much he’s had to drink. He’s been so in control since I got here. Tonight is the first night that he’s truly showing me just how intensely he still cares. It’s not like the few slipped words here and there. No, this is different. It’s raw, it’s real… it’s Carter.
“I want to clip your fucking wings,” he whispers, his lips tracing over my ear. “So you won’t ever leave me again.” He kisses my neck, and I tremble against him. “I want to fuck Sam up, and I want to sabotage your relationship. I want to wreck the happiness you’ve so painstakingly found, because I can’t stand the idea of you with someone that isn’t me.”
Carter rolls his hips against mine, and I bite down on my lip in an effort to keep quiet, to hide how he’s making me feel. “I can’t stand the thought of him fucking your delicious pussy, of you screaming his name. I don’t want him to ever have the honor of falling asleep with you. I don’t even want you smiling at him. I don’t want him saying your fucking name.”
He bites down on my shoulder before pressing a kiss to it. “I want to take you away from him. I want to rip you two apart,” he whispers, before pulling away. He lowers me to the floor and looks into my eyes. “But I won’t, Emilia. I won’t, because I fucking love you.”
Carter takes a step away from me and looks away. “Run, Emilia,” he whispers. “Run, because if you stay, there won’t be any going back.”
I look at him, my legs barely able to keep me standing. I inhale deeply and turn, running away from him, just like he told me to. With every step I take away from him, the words he uttered reverberate louder through me, over and over again.
Chapter 29
Emilia
I’m nervous when I walk into Carter’s office building the next morning, Sam by my side. I regret saying yes when he asked me for a tour of the office. I’m worried Carter won’t like it.
The security guard stops me and asks me for my employee card, but I forgot to bring my wallet, so I don’t have any form of identification with me either.
I’m about to walk back out when Asher walks up to me. “Milly!” he says, smiling.
Sam grins and leans into me. “Milly? Really?”
I elbow him and roll my eyes as he laughs at my childhood nickname. Asher offers Sam his hand, and I see the exact moment that Sam realizes who Asher is. He blanches, and his smile stiffens. “You’re the Chief Technical Officer of Clarke Reed,” he says, looking just a little flustered.
Asher grins and nod. “Yeah, I’m Asher Reed, the CTO — but you can just call me Asher. You must be Sam. Emilia has told me all about you,” he says, glancing at me. I look away guiltily. I haven’t told him a thing about Sam, but I probably should have.
“Only good things, I hope?” Sam says, smiling.
Thankfully, Asher smiles and nods. “Of course. Sometimes I can’t get her to shut up about you. I’m so glad you’re finally here. Now I won’t have to hear her complain about how much she misses you.”
Asher turns to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Did you forget your access card, Milly?” he asks, ushering us in. What is with him? I never once said that I miss Sam. I’m pretty sure that Asher and I haven’t spoken about him at all.
Asher walks us to his office, and I freeze when I spot Carter in the hallway. Last night is still fresh in my mind, and my heart starts to race. The things he said to me… the way he held me, and the intensity he showed me last night. I inhale shakily and try to ground myself. He was just drunk. That’s all. At least, that’s what I desperately need to make myself believe. It can’t be more than that.
Carter pauses when he sees Sam and me, and he glances at Asher. “Emilia, Sam,” he says, nodding at us politely. I can’t spot a single trace of embarrassment or awkwardness in him, and suddenly I wonder if I read too much into what happened last night.
He looks at Sam and smiles at him. “I’ve been meaning to invite you to come see my office,” he says. “Would you like a tour?”
His offer surprises me, and I look up at him with wide eyes. Just last night he told me he didn’t even want Sam saying my name, but today he’s offering him a tour of his office?
“I’d love a tour,” Sam says, and I sigh as Carter leads us deeper into the building. “I badgered Emilia into offering me one, but having you as my tour guide would be even better.”
I spot the brief flash of irritation on Carter’s face, but thankfully, Sam misses it. He’s is enraptured by what Carter tells him about the origins of the company, and truth be told, so am I.
I remember sitting on the floor in the small apartment that Asher and Carter shared. Everything Carter has achieved was merely a concept back then. It’s astounding how much he has accomplished in just under a decade. I wish I’d been there every step of the way. I wish I could’ve supported him throughout this journey. For a brief second, I can’t help but wonder what those years would have looked like for us.
Carter and Sam pause by a large glass wall that overlooks a lab. Sam looks through the glass in awe, and I take a better look. “This is the stem cell research you’re doing, isn’t it?” he mutters, clearly impressed.
Carter nods and smiles, but his smile is pained. “Yes, but the research isn’t moving quick enough.”
Sam frowns. “What do you mean, not quick enough? Your team found a way to create organoids in almost no time at all. Your team is literally creating mini organs. It’s groundbreaking.”
Carter nods and sighs. “Yes, but I need full-sized organs. This isn’t good enough.”
Sam stares at Carter, his brows furrowed. “Come to think of it, you probably started this research around the same time that Emilia’s father received his diagnosis.”
I look at Carter with wide eyes. “You did this for dad?”
Carter bites down on his lip and shakes his head. “Not quite. Him falling ill is what gave me the idea. I just figured that there must be a way to help people like him, so I funded the team that was closest to reaching a break-through.”
So, yes. He did do this for Dad. I inhale deeply, my heart twisting painfully. I try my best to blink back my tears. I’ve done my very best to remain strong since I got here. I’ve tried m
y hardest not to cry, even when I’ve had to see that lost and hopeless expression on Dad’s face when he’s forced to his machine every day, but this… this guts me.
Carter looks at me as though he knows exactly what I’m feeling, and he smiles tightly. I bite down on my lip as hard as I can, trying my best to keep my tears at bay, and the expression on Carter’s face mirrors how I feel. He looks heartbroken.
Thankfully, Sam requests to speak to one of Carter’s researchers, and I lean back against the wall, needing a moment.
“You okay?” Carter murmurs, his voice soft. I nod at him and try my best to smile. Carter runs a hand through his hair and inhales deeply.
I look up at him in surprise and try my best to smile. I was intent on keeping him at a distance after what he said to me last night, and the way he touched me. A shiver runs down my spine at the mere memory of him pressed against me, my legs wrapped around him.
I told myself I should be mad at him for his behavior, but how can I stay mad at a guy that tells me he loves me, and then shows it by doing everything in his power to save my father’s life — to the extent of funding groundbreaking research.
“You were out of line last night,” I murmur.
Carter sighs and pulls a hand through his hair, his eyes on mine. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I meant every word,” he says. Carter looks away and bites down on his lip. “I won’t let it happen again, though. Sam seems like a great guy, and I won’t mess with your happiness. I guess I just need a distraction or some shit.”
I freeze and look up at him. “Don’t,” I say without thinking. “Don’t find a distraction.”
Carter looks surprised, a smile tugging at his lips. “Tell me you’ll be mine, and I won’t ever stray,” he says, his eyes blazing.
I bite down on my lip and look away. “I can’t,” I whisper. “You know I can’t.”
If Carter wants to call Layla tonight then there isn’t a thing I can do about it, because I just have no rights to him. I stare down at my feet as devastation devours me. If he truly feels the way he told me he did, then there’s no way he’ll last. Not with Sam here. He won’t just sit there and watch me be with Sam. He’ll go looking for a distraction. It might not be Layla, but there’ll be someone. And that someone won’t be me.
Chapter 30
Carter
Emilia is quiet as she walks into the kitchen and I frown at her. The way she’s looking at me puts me on edge. There’s fear and accusation in her eyes, and I wonder if she’s still thinking about what I said to her — that I needed to find myself a distraction.
She avoids my eyes as she walks towards the coffee machine, and I grab her arm. “Sit down. I’ll make you a cup,” I murmur.
She looks up at me briefly, and the bags underneath her eyes match mine. I sigh as I make her a cup of coffee, hating the tension between us now. I never should’ve said a thing to her. I never should’ve told her how I feel. I hesitate as I make her coffee, and I think back to the day she moved into her student dorm. I smile to myself and put a tablespoon of salt in her coffee, just like I did back then, just for old time’s sake.
I hand it to Emilia with a serene expression, and I watch her as she takes a sip. Her eyes widen and she looks up at me as she forces the sip she took down. Her lips transform into a beautiful smile, and she bursts out laughing.
“Wow, that’s a nostalgic little prank,” she murmurs.
“Hey, you can’t go wrong with the classics,” I tell her, laughing, and her eyes flash with amusement. I breathe a sigh of relief. I was so worried that I’d ruined everything between us.
“Classics, huh?”
I look at her, alarmed, and hold my hands up. “Not the cockroaches,” I whisper, pleading with her, and Emilia giggles.
“I’m going to get you back for this, you know that, right? I let you get away with the Crazy Frog song, but you only get one freebie.”
I grin at her. I love seeing her eyes flash like this. Lately she’s been looking so stressed out and worried, and I’m glad something as simple as this still makes her smile. I love seeing her laugh.
“I’m looking forward to it,” I murmur, a twinge of excitement running through me. Emilia is capable of some utter mayhem, and I really shouldn’t encourage her, but if it gets her to take her mind off her dad, I’ll do it quite happily.
Sam walks into the kitchen, and I stiffen. I can’t get my mind of the two of them spending the night together. My fucked-up mind keeps imagining his hands on her body, and I only barely manage to keep my anger in check.
Emilia has her back to him and glances at her coffee cup, shaking her head. She smiles up at me, her eyes lighting up. “Seriously,” she says. “I’m outraged in Spanish.”
I burst out laughing, and so does she. Sam frowns and wraps his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and my amusement is instantly gone. Emilia seems startled, and it’s obvious she hadn’t noticed him. How very interesting… she’s always hyper-aware of me.
“What does that mean, darling?” Sam asks, and Emilia stiffens.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she says. “It’s from a TV show.”
Sam looks at her in confusion, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t want her to let him in on any of our inside jokes. There aren’t many parts of Emilia that are still mine, and I want to hold on to the ones that are with all my might.
I inhale deeply and try my best to smile at Sam, catching him off guard. “Your house is rather impressive,” he says, and his British accent grates on me. I wonder if it’s one of the things Emilia loves about him.
I smile in thanks and sigh. “How about I show you around?” I say, hoping he’ll say no.
Sam grins at me and nods. “Oh, I’d love that. I’ve been curious about this mansion of yours. I must admit that I’ve never been in a property quite as grand as this one.”
He looks at Emilia and smiles at her. I watch as he walks up to Emilia and takes her coffee mug out of her hand. Just that small act pisses me off. Emilia is a clean freak, and all our lives, I’ve been the only one she’s ever shared food or drinks with. “Let me have a few sips of this, darling,” he says, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Oh no, don’t,” she says, her eyes flashing with panic. She takes the cup back from him, and he frowns. Emilia smiles nervously and brushes her hair behind her ear, her hand trembling. “I, uh, I accidentally put salt in it,” she tells him, and it’s my turn to frown. I shouldn’t be surprised that she keeps our pranks from him, but it annoys me nonetheless.
Sam smiles at her and shakes his head. “Sleepyhead,” he murmurs, amusement twinkling in his eyes. I grit my teeth when he places his hand on the small of her back and smiles at me. “I’m rather wretched without a cuppa in the morning, but I think I’ll be fine,” he tells me, and my goodwill is instantly gone. Well, that lasted long. I glance at my watch and sigh. Ten seconds, or so. That’s how long I lasted before wanting to punch him in the face. Even his fucking voice irritates me. I’m tempted to mimic him, but I resist.
I see Emilia bite back a smile, and I unintentionally glare at her. Surely, she doesn’t like that dumb accent of his? I shake my head and inhale deeply. I really need to get a hold of myself.
Sam asks me a million questions as I show him all the different rooms in my house. I pause in the theater room and sigh. I designed this room with Emilia in mind. It’s basically a much more luxurious set-up of what I arranged on her sixteenth birthday. It’s crazy to think that that’s over ten years ago now. Here I am, standing in this room, with the man that has everything I’ve ever wanted.
I shake my head absentmindedly and lead Sam to the next room. The worst thing is that he’s actually a nice guy. He’s tried his best to help with John too, and he seems to treat Emilia well. I can tell that he feels intimidated by me, but he’s nice nonetheless. He’s a little too nice, in my opinion. I can’t understand what Emilia sees in him. He’s so fucking dull. I haven’t s
een him make her laugh even once.
“You might like this,” I tell him, unlocking the door to my safe room. His eyes widen as we walk into the room, and I have to admit that even I am impressed every time I walk in. “It’s completely secure, with its own generator and satellite connections.” I click the security feeds on, and all angles of the house are covered. “The only rooms that don’t have cameras are the bedrooms and the bathrooms. I have a security team that monitors my property and my office, but I do keep copies for reference too.”
Sam looks impressed and I smile at him as he plays around with the multiple controls. I was exactly the same when I got it all installed the first time around. Sam frowns at one of the screens, and I follow his gaze, my eyes narrowing.
“Oh dear, what is she doing?” Sam asks, confused. I zoom in on Emilia to find her kneeling in my dining room, something that looks suspiciously like glue in her hands.
“What is she doing?” Sam asks, frowning.
I shake my head at him and lean in closer, curious. “Is that… a whoopee cushion?” I murmur, amused as hell. “Where the fuck did she even get that?”
Sam looks more stressed out by the second, but I just find it amusing as hell. She even found one that matches the color of my chairs. I watch as she glues it to my usual seat in the dining table, a huge smile on her face. She did warn me that there’d be payback…
“I have no idea if that’s even going to come off. My god, I can’t believe she’s doing this. That’s destruction of property. How much are those chairs?”
I laugh when she pushes against the pillow and bursts out laughing. I love seeing her like this.
“Two thousand dollars each,” I tell him. Worth it. That smile of hers is worth far more than a measly chair or two. I glance at Sam, the outrage on his face, the stiffness in his every move. I can see why he’d like the version Emilia portrays of herself in his presence, but the real her? He could never handle the real Emilia.
The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3) Page 12
