by Amy Aislin
Why, why, why was Elias not working as a full-time photographer for some website or magazine? Why didn't he take more freelance jobs? The job security excuse Elias had once given was a crock of shit. More like Elias had certain ideals that he lived by, and part of those ideals dictated how he should live, what sort of job he should have, how much money he should make, what kind of home he should live in. It wasn't Elias's fault. Likely it had something to do with how he was raised and everything he'd gone through before being adopted. His mother gone, his dad shipped off to prison, Elias shuffled from one home to another until he was adopted by loving parents, who were killed in a plane crash. In Elias's world, probably nothing felt permanent, everything easily breakable, easily taken away, like sand slipping through his fingers.
But the money he made? It was his. Nobody could take it away. His job? Elias had worked his way up to that position. Elias’s condo, his car? All paid for with the money he made at a job Ty suspected Elias didn't even like but that he was used to and good at and where people respected him. If Elias quit his job and started a new one that went to shit, it might mean a loss to his savings. Goodbye, car. Goodbye, condo. Gone as if they'd never existed. And he was back to being that little boy—hell, the adult—who'd had everything taken away from him.
Ty's vision blurred. The lump in his throat choked off his air, and he sobbed once before getting it together. He didn't want Elias to hear, to know how much he hurt for him, how much he wished he could fix things. But the only one who could change the way Elias thought, what he believed, was Elias himself. All Ty could do was stick by him, show him that not everybody left.
Capricorn, romance is in the air. Venus—the planet of love—will be visible to the naked eye for the next two weeks—until Valentine's Day! If there's a special someone in your life, it's a good time to tell them how you feel.
Two weeks later the early February temperature showed no sign of warming up. If anything, it got colder, and Mother Nature dumped almost six feet of snow on the GTA in the span of three days.
Elias took a picture of his Saturday horoscope on his laptop screen and texted it to Rachel before he poured the milk into his bowl of flour.
"You never check your horoscope anymore," she'd said yesterday morning at the office. Instead of grabbing a newspaper on his way to work, he and Ty now spent thirty minutes chatting every morning at the café. They were such regulars over the past two weeks that the morning baristas knew their orders by heart.
Of course, he didn't tell Rachel any of that. Just told her he was sorry, and he'd do better, because it was easier than telling her about Ty and having to answer the five hundred questions about him she'd shoot his way.
Too bad you don't have a special someone in your life, she texted back, complete with a sad-face emoji. Was she being sarcastic? Had Elias somehow given himself away, and now she suspected he was seeing someone? Not likely. She would've included one of those winking emojis instead of a sad-face one, all I know your secret. He could almost hear her singsongy voice in his head.
Adding an egg, sugar, baking powder, and salt to his batter, he stirred it smooth.
You'll be all alone on Valentine's Day, Rachel sent now. Oh, how little she knew.
"I did it," Ty said, coming into the kitchen.
"Yeah?" Dressed in his typical after work/weekend/lazing around the house outfit of boxers and a hoodie, Ty looked like the eighteen-year-old Elias had first thought him to be weeks ago. "Congratulations."
Ty scoffed and took a seat at the island. "Don't congratulate me yet. All I did was hit Submit on the online application."
"Still. How do you feel?"
"Anxious."
Ty didn't meet his eyes, instead reaching for the bowl of grapes.
"Why?"
A head shake.
"Ty."
Blue eyes lifted to his.
"What's going on?"
Ty's tight-lipped smile was both embarrassed and confused. "This just wasn't part of the plan, you know? I was going to work this job for a few years then work my way up to a position in waste management with this city."
"Well, you don't really have to worry about anything yet," Elias pointed out. "Like you said, all you've done is apply. There's no guarantee they'll hire you. Hell, there's no guarantee you'll get an interview." He purposely played devil's advocate, wondering how Ty would feel if nothing came of this. By the frown on Ty's face, he didn't like that thought so much.
"Still," Ty said around the grape in his mouth. "I feel like the past two years working for the city will have been for nothing."
The city of Guelph was hiring for some kind of junior waste management role. Ty's supervisor at his current job knew one of the hiring managers and had recommended him for the position, which meant of course he'd get an interview. Referrals were everything in business. Ty just had to get it through his head that even though it wasn't a position with the city of Toronto, it was an office position in waste management nonetheless, one where he'd be putting his certificate in waste management to practical use instead of simply emptying garbage cans downtown. As a bonus, the commute to Guelph would only be fifteen minutes instead of the almost hour and a half it currently took him to get to work.
"That's not true," Elias countered. He set his batter aside and sat across from Ty. "Every job teaches a new skill, whether it's hard skills like how to change a flat tire or soft skills like time management."
Ty wasn’t convinced.
"Or maybe things were meant to happen this way," Elias continued. "Maybe you were meant to work for the city, so that the role could put you in front of this particular supervisor who would then recommend you for a position you're extremely qualified for in the field you love."
Ty was looking at him like he had goop on his face. "Meant to...?" he said, brow furrowed. "That's not very logical of you."
Elias laughed and got up to retrieve a pan from the cupboard. "True. Must be all the wishy-washy horoscopes I've been reading lately."
"What did it say today?" Ty asked. Elias had told him about his morning conversations with Rachel over a week ago.
"Something about Valentine's Day." He didn't mention the whole tell-your-someone-special-how-you-feel-about-them part. Just thinking about telling Ty how he felt about him made him break out in a cold sweat.
"Ugh," Ty said. "Valentine's Day is stupid."
"Oh, thank God," Elias said with a groan. "I was worried we were going to have to go all out for it." He set the pan on the burner to warm.
"The most I want from you on Valentine's Day is a blow job," Ty said, eyebrows wagging. "And a bottle of chocolate sauce, so I can lick it off you."
Elias's dick twitched at the thought, nipples hardening. He pointed his spatula at Ty. "Sold! To the gentleman in blue boxers!"
Ty took a bow like he'd won the grand prize. "What are you making anyway?"
"Pancakes."
Ty's eyes went comically wide. "From scratch?"
"How else do you eat pancakes? Do not say frozen," Elias added when Ty opened his mouth to respond. He wisely stayed silent, mouth pressed in a tight line so he wouldn't laugh.
"What are we doing today?" he asked instead.
"I've got to pick up a few groceries," Elias replied, scooping batter onto his warm pan. "I was thinking we could go to the St. Lawrence Market?"
Ty made a sound deep in the back of his throat. Elias turned to find him crosseyed, practically drooling onto the table.
"They have the best cheese." He moaned like he was having an orgasm.
Two hours later, knowing parking would be a nightmare late on a Saturday morning, they took the bus from Fort York all the way to The Esplanade, where it was only a two-minute walk to the indoor market.
"Mmmm, cheese," Ty said, heading straight for his favourite cheese shop.
"Get me some, too," Elias said, making his way toward the poultry counter.
"What kind?" Ty was already several feet ahead of him.
"Someth
ing good," he said, just to be contrary.
Ty gave him the finger.
"But not Bleu!" he yelled at Ty's retreating back.
Ty waved over his shoulder.
Smiling to himself, he dodged shoppers in his attempt to get to Carnicero's. God, it was packed and much too loud. And why did people bring their kids here? It was so easy for them to get lost in the crowd. Unless they were leashed, like the toddler who ran by him, frazzled mom following behind. Man, that must be so demoralizing. It probably had some kind of negative psychological effect on the kid too. Or maybe not. Did kids remember that sort of humiliation as they grew older?
He shrugged mentally and gritted his teeth as strangers brushed his shoulder, purses and shopping bags bumped his elbow or his legs, strollers blocked half an aisle. Not even noon and the lineups were already ridiculous. Finally reaching the end of Carnicero's’ lineup, he was lucky he heard his name called at all in the chaos of disorganized and impatient shoppers.
"Elias!"
There, only a few people up from the front of the line, was Ty's dad, who was waving him over. Elias made his way forward, sending a silent apology to all of the people he bypassed.
"Good thing I saw you," Marty Green said. "It's a fifteen-minute wait from the back of the line."
Four seconds into their conversation, Elias was already looking around for Ty to come save him.
"Ty's around here somewhere," Elias said, just to make conversation with his boyfriend's dad.
Mr. Green waved his words away. "Did he abandon you for the cheese?"
Elias laughed. "He says they have the best here."
"He's not wrong."
The Green siblings had gotten their genetics mostly from their dad: same round chin, same baby face, same ice blue eyes, same blond hair with the dark roots and dark eyebrows. The only thing they'd inherited from their mother was her nose. In Marty Green, Elias could see what Ty would look like in thirty to forty years. Still handsome, with deep laugh lines, strong shoulders, and a full head of hair.
"The wife wants fresh chicken for dinner tonight," Mr. Green said. "But I'm thinking that veal looks good." He stooped to peer into the glass display.
"What can I get you?" one of the attendants asked, a beefy guy in a white chef's coat and red hat.
"Four chicken breasts please, the fresh organic over here," Mr. Green said. Smart move, sticking with what Mrs. Green wanted. Elias couldn't imagine the reaction if Major General Mom didn't get her way. "And whatever my friend's having." By “friend” he meant Elias, if the hand Mr. Green waved in his direction was any indication.
Elias ordered, Ty's dad paid, and they left with their stupidly expensive, fresh organic chicken.
"Thank you," Elias said. "You didn't have to pay."
"My pleasure." Mr. Green gripped Elias's shoulder. "Just make sure my boy eats."
"Oh, trust me, he eats." Elias directed them toward the nearest produce shop then pulled out his phone to text Ty his location. "In fact, we're making chicken fajitas for dinner. Would you and your wife like to join us?"
The surprised pleasure on Mr. Green's face was worth any nerves Elias might feel about hosting his boyfriend's parents for dinner.
"Thanks, Elias, I'd love that. Let me check with Sue. I'll call Ty later today to confirm, all right?" Mr. Green checked the time on his phone. "Shoot. I've got to head out, pick Maddie up from hockey practice."
"Maddie plays hockey?" That little slip of a girl?
"Goalie." Mr. Green's smile was wide. "She's pretty good. You and Ty should come to one of her games."
Huh, maybe they would.
"Hey, Dad!" Ty appeared at Elias's elbow.
"Hey, kid." Mr. Green gave his son a brief hug. The way they came together with such familiarity and love and belonging formed a lump in Elias's throat. It made him miss the ease with which he'd interacted with his own parents before they died.
"I've got to run and pick up your sister," Mr. Green was telling Ty. "I'll see you tonight. Maybe." He disappeared into the crowd.
"What's happening tonight?" Ty asked.
Elias cleared his throat. "Uh, I may've, uh…invited your parents over for dinner?"
He didn't know what he was expecting from Ty. Disappointment that they wouldn't spend the evening alone together? Embarrassment that Elias had been the one to issue the invite instead of him? Anger that Elias had gone ahead and done so without his consent?
The pleased surprise mirrored the expression on his dad's face so exactly: the raised eyebrows, mouth open in an ”O” before his lips twitched at the corners, the half-step backwards. It made Elias laugh.
"Elias?"
He turned. There was Rachel, shopping bags in hand, winter coat open over jeans and a sweater in deference to the market's heat.
"Hi, Rachel."
"I almost didn't recognize you outside of the office," she said, smiling. "Outside of the suits you always wear." She didn't wait for him to respond before gesturing to the tall dark-skinned man next to her. "This is my husband, Aric."
Brief introductions over with, Elias spotted Ty out of the corner of his eye, standing two feet away, looking unsure, bottom lip between his teeth, fingers clenched around the cheese-filled plastic bag in his hands. He looked anywhere but at Elias, as if seeking an escape route or a way to blend into the food stand behind him.
They'd never discussed whether or not they were out at work. Elias wasn't out, but he wasn't in the closet either. If someone asked, he wouldn't lie—not that anyone ever asked. Wasn’t as if he had any friends other than Rachel at the office anyway. It was hard being a friend when he was also a boss.
For a brief second, he considered ignoring Ty, afraid Rachel might think he was a perv who dated teenagers, but fuck that shit. He couldn't do that to Ty. He felt guilty having the thought, never mind going through with it.
He held out his hand. Ty took it, smile tentative yet thrilled.
"This is my boyfriend, Ty," he said, and he knew how his voice sounded: soft and infatuated, but he couldn't help it. "Ty, this is Rachel, one of my coworkers, and her husband, Aric."
"Oh my gosh! Hi, Ty!" Rachel held out a hand. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
Aric winced. "Rein it in, woman."
Rachel glared playfully up at her husband before pointing a finger at Elias. "I knew you were seeing someone."
"How?" He hadn't done anything different.
"Your resting douchebag face has been more like resting jerk face over the past few weeks."
"And…a jerk isn't as bad as a douchebag?"
"Correct." She nodded once for emphasis.
Ty laughed.
Aric put his arm around his wife and steered her away. "Let's go downstairs. We still need to get the honey."
"Bye, Ty. We should go on a double-date sometime!" Rachel yelled over her shoulder.
"Okay!" Ty grinned and waved at her retreating back.
What the hell just happened?
"My resting douchebag face isn't that bad, is it?"
Ty turned, studiously inspecting the red peppers, the lip-biting not doing anything to hide his grin, and didn't answer.
His mom was in love with Elias. Oh, she was trying hard not to show it, but Ty could tell. Her entire focus shifted to him when he talked, she played with her hair, batted her eyes, and she giggled. It was so weird. His dad thought it was hilarious.
It wasn't because of anything obvious Elias said or did. It was the little things: how he made sure Ty was served first, how Ty felt comfortable enough in Elias's kitchen to root around the refrigerator for the sour cream when they forgot to put it on the table, how Elias praised Ty's sautéing skills when Ty's mom knew full well that Ty didn't really know what the word meant, how they touched each other subconsciously when they crossed paths in the condo, how they tried to play secret footsies under the dinner table and fooled no one.
She was in love with Elias because Elias was smitten with her son. Damn, Tay felt like a million bucks knowin
g he was the one putting that smile on Elias's face.
Elias was oblivious, of course, munching away on his fajita, nodding as Ty's mom tried to tell him that the sofa really did belong on the other wall.
Ty licked the salsa off his thumb then gently squeezed Elias's thigh. He was used to his mom trying to take over everything she could. She might be in love with Elias, but it wouldn't stop her from voicing her opinions, wanted or not. Elias was clenched so tightly, he looked ready to explode. Even his knuckles were white on his fajita.
"Mom, how's the planning going for the end-of-season social?" Ty interrupted.
And she was off, complaining about how Maddie's end-of-season hockey social should really be held in the winter since it was a winter sport, but since management insisted it be held in early June, they might as well rent some outdoor space and have it outside. Oh, and wouldn't you know? Mrs. Covington's son's friend from school had a brother who worked at the Evergreen Brick Works, who might be able to get them a deal on pricing for their rental space.
Ty tuned her out, glanced at Elias side-eyed. It was obvious to Ty that Elias wasn't paying attention either, just by the way he kept nodding his head.
"Elias," his dad interrupted when his mom paused to take a breath. "Ty says you do some travelling for your photography business. What's been your favourite place you’ve travelled to so far?"
"The Yukon," Elias said, polishing off his fajita.
Ty had heard this before, so he got up to clear the table, trusting his dad to keep an eye on his mom for him, but she followed him into the kitchen.
"I like that boy," she said, coming up beside him as he rinsed their dinner dishes.
Ty snorted, and even though he didn't need her approval on the guys he dated, it was nice to hear.
"So do I," he said.
"He doesn't seem as sad as when I first met him."
When Ty had moved into his new house, she meant, and Elias had shown up to help. No, Elias wasn't the same as he'd been then. He'd been so distant and lonely then. Ty couldn't reconcile that person with the one laughing with his dad at the kitchen table a few feet away. The one who'd invited Ty's parents for dinner. Who'd called Ty late Wednesday night to tell him he missed him. Who'd texted him at four-thirty in the morning to tell him that it was snowing and did Ty have snow tires? Because if not, Elias could come get him and take him into work. Who FaceTimed with him when they were both watching Legend of Korra in their own homes.
