by Eva Haining
“I’m stronger than I look. I have the body fat of Bruce Lee. No excess, maximum strength. I was lugging stage gear for a decade before we got our record deal. Just tell me what to do. I can’t sit around writing drug addict songs. It turns out my creativity is linked to being high. I wrote kickass, sexy stuff when I was tripping. Now, I’m all melancholy. I think I’d depress blues writers at the moment.”
“You seriously just played me the druggy card? Lame. For that, you can muck out the stables with me. Shoveling the same horse manure you’re pedaling right now.”
“Wow, you just say whatever is on your mind, don’t you?”
“Yeah. You should try it sometime. The way I see it, there’s no sense in spouting bullshit I don’t mean.”
“Okay. You’re a dick for finding humor in my addiction status, but I like that you don’t pussy-foot around me like everyone else.”
He thrusts a brush into my hands. “Start mucking, brother.” I get to work, and after a minute or two, he saunters over to the stall I’m sweeping. “I don’t think it’s funny… you being an addict. It’s as serious as it gets, and I know that’s got to weigh heavy on your shoulders. So I try to make you laugh, and if you’re cool with it, I’ll keep busting your chops on this ranch anytime you want. Consider yourself hired but working for free. And if you ever need to talk, or you’re struggling, you come to me, and I’ll shit-talk you until the cows come home. Deal?”
“Deal.”
Without another word, he leaves me to my manual labor, working at my side in companionable silence. To be honest, I’m fitter than I thought I was. This is back-breaking work, and I’m holding my own, but I’ve had at least a gallon of water in the past hour. It’s like an oven in the stalls, even with openings on either side of the barn. If anything, it just lets in more heat.
Time passes quickly, so I don’t even realize we’ve been at this for hours.
“Ready for some lunch?”
“Yeah, but I need to go wash up first.”
“Okay, snowflake, you’re a cowboy in training now. Lesson one, you better get used to eating lunch smelling like manure. We’re going to the diner for a quick bite, and it’s a highlight of my day to see the town busybodies get a whiff of this stench while they judge the entire town over tea.”
“Seriously? I don’t think I can eat with this smell. It’s fucking nasty.”
“Again, snowflake… get over it. You wash up for dinner when the workday is done. The only reason you need to smell fresh as the dainty little daisy you are is to sit down to a meal with the family or when you want a woman to ride your face for the night.”
“Now that feels like a distant memory. How long have I been back in town?”
“I don’t know. I’m not counting the days on my calendar, marking your presence with love hearts and smiley faces.”
“Damn, I thought we had something special going on. Every time I see you, I write about it in my diary.”
“Are you coming for lunch or what?”
“Yes. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have a woman sit on my face, so I guess chowing down on lunch will have to do.”
“How long has it been?”
“A month of rehab and a month here. Two months. I know I probably sound like a manwhore for saying that’s a long time, but I hear you had a reputation back in the day. You get it, right?”
“Fuck me.”
“I might consider it if I don’t get any action soon.”
“You couldn’t handle me, bro. Has the atrophy kicked in yet, or are Palm and her five sisters keeping it at bay?” This guy cracks me up.
“Getting repetitive strain injury in my right hand.”
He slaps me on the back as we head for his truck. “Good man. I’ll make you a deal. Get to three months sober, and I’ll be your sober wingman. We can hit up a bar I know a few towns over, you can get some action in the bathroom stalls, and I’ll bring you home. I draw the line at tucking you in for the night.”
“I was really looking forward to spooning with you.”
“I don’t think drugs are your problem, man. It’s your personality. It is almost as depraved as mine.”
“Low blow, Jax. I’m not that fucked up, am I?”
“Touché, Johnny Be Good.”
“I used to play that song to pick up chicks. It’s one of my favorites.”
“I was obsessed with it after I watched Back to the Future.”
“See, I knew there was a reason I liked you.”
When we get to the diner, I gobble my lunch in two seconds flat, and just like Jax promised, it was surprisingly satisfying to watch the town biddies turning their noses up at the stank we brought in on our clothes.
Our afternoon is spent on the outskirts of the therapy center grounds. Something or someone got tangled in one of the fences and chewed it up really good. By the time we’re done for the day, I’m exhausted in a good way. Not from lack of sleep or way too much partying, but a full-body, muscle tired. I know I’m going to fall into my bed tonight and be asleep before my head hits the pillow.
I thought wearing a leather jacket on stage was sweaty, but I’m out here with my shirt off, and I’m soaked in sweat with my jeans sticking to my legs. The mixture of sweat and horse shit is quite the aroma. If my mental status doesn’t repel women, this will.
“That’s the stench of a good day’s work, my friend.” Jax lifts one arm and takes an overexaggerated sniff of himself. “Earthy.” He can’t even say it with a straight face. His eyes are watering, and it sends me into a fit of laughter.
“Fucking hell. I don’t know about earthy, but my eyes are really burning. Jesus Christ. How have I never noticed you guys reek of ranch life before now?”
“Because our water bills are through the roof. In the beginning, Sav could see past it if she was feeling frisky, but these days, she’ll refuse to even kiss me hello until I’ve showered twice over. The upside is that I get a lot of wet naked time with my wife.”
“I can add vomit to my list of pungent odors for the day. You guys make me sick.”
“I’m in love, brother. Don’t be a hater.”
As we throw tools into the back of his pickup truck, Ellie comes gliding confidently out the back doors of the center, looking mouthwateringly beautiful.
“Fuck.”
Jax tracks my gaze. “Like I said, Johnny Be Good, don’t be a hater. You’ve got all of this to look forward to.”
“Not with her, I don’t. Can you do me a favor and just keep your smart mouth closed when she comes over?”
“I make no promises. I’m just so damn charming with it.”
“Hey, guys. How are you?” Her smile is bright, effortless, and heartwarming, but she doesn’t give me a look at those green eyes of hers, keeping her gaze cast down.
“Great. Jax has been showing me how to work so hard I’m ready to puke my guts out, and I smell worse than rotten eggs left out in the Texas sun. I’d save yourself and stand upwind of us.” She chuckles softly, chewing on her bottom lip, making my cock twitch.
“I’ll make a cowboy out of him. Just need to put some beef on him first.” Jax slaps my stomach, drawing attention to my lack of shirt.
“He looks pretty toned to me. I wouldn’t change a thing.” She gives me a playful grin, those emerald eyes sparkling with mischief.
“You’re in luck, she digs scrawny.”
“I swear my friends in high school were more mature than you.” He can’t help himself.
“You went to high school? I had you pegged for a dropout, bro.”
“Takes one to know one, right? Sorry to disappoint you, I scraped through high school with just enough credits to graduate.”
“I’m impressed. I dated the school nerd my senior year. She made sure I had a solid B- average.”
“You had the smart chick doing your homework, and you still couldn’t get A’s?” Ellie interjects.
“Only a brainiac would ask such a dumb question. The trick isn’t to pull y
our grades up too much, or teachers get suspicious. If I’d started passing everything with flying colors, I would’ve raised red flags left and right.”
“Brilliant.” I clap my hands together in slow applause. “That’s some genius right there. Belle just rode my ass night and day to… you know… learn shit.”
“Amateur.”
“Do you guys want something to eat?”
“Thanks for the offer, doc, but my wife is waiting to satisfy my hunger in more ways than one.” He gives her a sly wink and reaches for the truck’s door handle. “I’m sure scrawny here could use the calories.” I’m going to strangle him with my bare hands.
“Sure, if you’re up for it, I have plenty of food. I’ll give you some to take home if you want?”
“Why don’t you two just eat together? You can start a lonely-hearts club.” Jax shoots me a shit-eating grin before firing up the engine and throwing his truck in drive. “I’ve got to get going, don’t want to keep the little lady waiting. Have fun with your dinner date. Johnny boy, five o’clock tomorrow morning. I’ll give you the breakfast of champions before another day of proper men’s work.”
“I’ll be there.”
He drives off, leaving Ellie and me in an awkward situation.
“I didn’t cook the food, just FYI. I got Chinese takeout at that little place in the town square. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, so you’d be doing my jeans a favor if you take some of it. You don’t need to eat with me. Like I said, I can just give you some of it to take back to your place.”
Chinese food sounds so good right now. “I’m not going to take your dinner and run. As you can see, I’m not really in a fit state to sit down and eat, but why don’t I go home and take a shower, and you can come by in a half-hour, and we can eat together? It would be nice to eat with someone rather than making conversation with my guitar.”
“You talk to your guitar?”
“She’s the love of my life. If we’re going to be friends, you need to know that.”
“Okay. Then I’ll swing by and meet the lucky lady who won your heart in a half-hour.”
“Perfect. I’ll look better by then. Clean. Fully clothed.”
“I’m not so sure. I like a guy who doesn’t mind getting a little dirty. And the lack of shirt definitely works for you.” I’m rocking a semi now.
“You can’t say shit like that if we’re going to be friends. I only have so much willpower, and I’m using it all in the name of becoming the good guy. You’re way too hot to resist for any length of time, so if you’re coming over, you have to be thoroughly repelled by my admittedly hot façade.” I know I shouldn’t entertain the flirting, but I want to do so much more than flirt with this girl. Flirting can be harmless, right?
“I’ll work on it.” As she turns to head back to the center, she throws a final observation over her shoulder. “You might want to tame the semi if you don’t want a girl to flirt outrageously with you… friend.” She cocks her head to the side, just enough to give me a wink before sashaying her way inside. Damn! I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.
Six
Ellie
Fireflies swarm my stomach as Johnny’s place comes into view. It’s not how I imagined it, and yet it fits him perfectly. Sleek and sultry against the rugged backdrop of Knox-Mustang fields. I heard him talking about his ‘apartment’ with Maddox the night I went over for dinner, but that’s hardly a fitting description for this place. It’s huge, with stunning floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor.
As I get closer, I can see Johnny staring out at the panoramic vista before him. I’m no longer looking at the scenery, my eyes firmly fixed on him, standing in nothing but a towel. Holy mother of all that’s good and pure.
He’s in recovery.
He’s in recovery.
He’s in recovery.
If I tell myself enough, maybe I’ll stop hoping for the towel to drop. He’s breathtaking. Lean but muscular, a perfect ‘V’ dipping below the luckiest white towel in history. His hair is damp and tousled, the perfect length to tug on as I ride his face. Oh, shit. I need to go home. This was a bad idea.
I’ll just put his food on the doorstep and leave. Being alone with him in my current state of arousal is the worst thing I could do. When I finally force my gaze from his toned physique, I scurry up the front steps to drop and dash, but before I can dash, the door opens, and there he stands. I’m crouched with my hand still clutching the takeout bag, staring up at him as heat rises in my cheeks, flushed with embarrassment.
“Hey, were you going to leave?”
“Me? No. Of course not. We said we’d eat together.” Why am I nodding like a bobblehead who’s been smacked full force? “I just didn’t realize the dress code was so casual. I’m somewhat overdressed compared to you.
“We can remedy that if you come inside. I’ll get you a towel, and we can even the playing field.”
“Just so you know, you can’t say stuff like that to me. I’m trying to be a good therapist here. I may or may not have seen you standing at the window admiring the view. I, too, was enjoying the view, just a whole different view.”
A sly smile creeps across his lips. “You’re not my therapist. Having a naked dinner wouldn’t be breaking any rules.” He reaches out his hand to help me to my feet, but the moment our skin touches, the electric shock that struck me last time comes back tenfold.
“How long have you been clean?”
“Wow. Straight to the nitty-gritty.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come off so abrasive.” When I’m up on my feet, the distance between us is inches at best. “I…”
His ice-blue gaze is trained on me, and the rise and fall of his chest are distracting with water rivulets making their way down his body. “Eyes up here, doc.”
My cheeks flush, and I realize I shouldn’t be here. “I’m so sorry. You’re half-naked, and I’m not going to lie, I want to jump your bones.”
“Then why don’t you?” He pushes a loose tendril behind my ear, his gentle caress setting my world on fire.
“Because you said yourself that you need to focus on recovery. That tells me you’ve not been clean for a year, and as a therapist, albeit not yours, it would be hypocritical of me to alter your focus for my own selfish desires.”
“They’re the best kind.”
“If we can’t be friends, then it would be best that I leave. I won’t put your recovery in jeopardy.”
“Come in, already. I’m capable of being in the same room as a woman without mounting her like a sex-crazed bull.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.”
“Then, let’s just get it out the way. A boring, standard kiss, and then you can come inside and eat dinner with me. I’ll keep my hands to myself as long as you do the same, and we’ll talk like friends do. Favorite colors, hair braiding techniques, we can even watch a movie of your choice.”
“A boring kiss? I’m not sure you’re capable of that.” I can guarantee he’s got the chops when it comes to a panty-melting kiss. Just the thought of it makes me weak in the knees. “I should go.” My voice is barely a whisper with no strength of conviction.
“No. Don’t.” He reaches out to grab my hand. “I won’t kiss you, not unless you want me to.”
“Wanting and doing are two very different things. I really should leave, Johnny. This is going in one direction and one direction only. We have… chemistry.”
“Then think of our budding friendship as a mad-science experiment. We can control ourselves, and I don’t know about you, but I could really use a friend.” I can’t help but laugh, alleviating the tension.
“A science experiment? Really?”
A sly grin creeps at the corner of his lip. “Come on in. I won’t bite. We can just hang out. And if you want to be naked or keep me in a state of undress, I’ll oblige in the name of friendship.”
“I’m not the naked chef.”
“I know. You’re neither naked nor
a chef. You’re basically a smoking-hot takeout delivery driver. If you’d made this meal, I’d probably be telling you to go home.”
“Rude!”
“I heard the apple-pie story, so I’m not risking death by dinner.”
“Fair enough. Point me to the kitchen, and I’ll plate up while you dress.”
“Follow me.” As I step over the threshold into his personal space, I know I’m playing with fire, but the heat is so inviting I can’t resist.
Conversation over dinner is easy and enjoyable. Johnny is a funny guy and doesn’t take himself too seriously. He’s the whole package.
“See, we made it through a meal without sweeping everything off the table and going at it like rabbits.” A thrill courses through me at the mere thought of it.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.” He leans back in the chair, his body language open and inviting.
“Why did you suggest we kiss earlier? Were you just kidding around?”
“Technically, that’s two questions. If you get two, I get two.”
“Deal.”
He rubs the palm of his hand over the stubble on his chin, a smile spreading across his flawless features. “I wasn’t kidding. I want to kiss you so bad I’ve been rocking a semi since you walked in the door.” His admission knocks the wind out of me.
“How long have you been clean, Johnny?”
“I answered your two questions. It’s my turn.”
“You know why I’m asking, don’t you?”
“I do. But you don’t get that information until I’m ready. You’re not my therapist, so you don’t need to know.”
“True.”
“Glad we agree, now back to my questions.” He hams it up as he ponders what he wants to ask me. “Question one. Why did you come to Kingsbury Falls? What were you running away from?”
“As you clearly pointed out on my questions, you just asked two. I wasn’t running from anything. I know enough to understand that problems have a way of following you wherever you go. They can’t be outrun, and they can’t be suppressed in hopes they’ll just disappear. I came here because I wanted more than a lonely apartment in Manhattan. I spent so much time focusing on my career and building my practice, I forgot to get a life.”
