by Eva Haining
“Would that be so bad?”
“No, but you scare me, Johnny.”
“Why?” His brows knit together in a frown as he reaches over and takes my hands in his. “You have nothing to fear from me.”
“It’s not you. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Try.”
“I’m scared of who I am when I’m with you. You make me crave you every minute of every day. I imagine this is a small shred of what addiction feels like. I’d do anything for one more kiss and the chance to warm your bed for years to come. I’d even let myself be caressed to the point of madness in a very public place.”
“Is it so bad to be outside your comfort zone?”
“No, it’s thrilling, and I want more.”
“Good, because I have no intention of letting you go, Ellie. I want every piece of you… your body, mind, soul, and heart.”
“You already own me, Johnny.”
“And I’ll cherish you every day for the rest of my life. I can become the kind of man who’s worthy of your love.”
The waiter interrupts our conversation as he sets down our entrees.
“You’re already worthy. I wish you knew that.”
He drops his gaze to the premium cut of beef on his plate, so rare it could be brought back to life with CPR. “I’m working on it. It’s not easy. I’m a junkie…”
“Don’t talk about yourself that way.”
“It’s true. And you… you’re an amazingly beautiful and accomplished woman. Loving you is a privilege, but being loved by you…”
“What?” There’s a sadness in his eyes for a fleeting moment, and then it’s gone, shut behind his confident façade.
“It’s more than I deserve.”
“Is that why you wouldn’t let me finish washing you in the shower that day? You don’t feel worthy of such a show of physical love and respect?”
“Are you really going to shrink me right now? Has it escaped your notice that you’re not my shrink? I don’t need you psychoanalyzing everything I do.”
“That wasn’t my intention at all. I’m sorry.”
He gives an audible sigh before reaching over and taking my hands in his. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. It’s just, I have a lot going on right now, and being with you is the only time I don’t feel like I’m in recovery.”
“What’s going on? You can talk to me. I may not be your therapist, but I’m your girlfriend, and all I want is to support and love you. That means the good and the bad. What’s on your mind?”
“We’re supposed to be on a romantic date. Dinner conversation isn’t a download of my problems.”
“Well, you’ve already checked a good few of the date-night requirements, including making me cream for you, so how about we break with the dating etiquette some more and just talk.”
“We’re in a restaurant full of people who are happily drinking, and you’re too scared to order a glass of wine with your meal in case I fall off the wagon. Look at me, Ellie, I’m a strong man, not some pathetic junkie jonesing for a chance to derail my recovery.”
“Please stop referring to addicts as pathetic. It may not bother you, but I take it personally. Some of the most amazing patients I’ve had throughout my career are addicts. People who have changed my outlook on life with their determination and willingness to seek help. When I look at you, I don’t see anything pathetic or weak. I see strength and a capability for love that flies in the face of the struggles you faced growing up. When I look into your eyes, I see the most amazing man I’ve ever known.”
“Then don’t pussy-foot around me. If you want a drink, order one.”
“You’re the one who has been pussy-foot-ering around at the dinner table. I don’t want a drink. If I did, I would’ve raised the subject with you like the grown woman I am. Trust me, when it comes to you and me, I have no intention of treating you with kid gloves. I say what’s on my mind, and I do what I want if I believe it’s the right choice for me. If you can’t handle a woman who knows her own mind and doesn’t balk under pressure, then you’re dating the wrong woman. I’m in this, Johnny, one hundred percent.”
“Pussy-foot-ering? Really?” A sly grin creeps at the corner of his lip, and just like that, the mood changes.
“Don’t judge me. I wasn’t an English major. Besides, my best friend, Piper, would be laughing her ass off at that pun.”
“I look forward to meeting her at some point.”
“You won’t need to wait long. She’ll be here on Friday.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, she told me two minutes before you arrived to pick me up. I’m excited for you two to get to know each other. I’m just warning you, though, she thinks you’re insanely hot, and when she found out you’re not the only celebrity in town, it sealed my fate for embarrassing moments while she’s visiting.”
“How long is she staying?”
“A week.”
“That’s great, Ellie.”
“So, are you up for getting the third degree from her? She’s pretty protective of me when it comes to dating.”
“Bring it. As long as you’re falling asleep in my arms, I can handle anything that comes my way.”
“I can do that.”
The rest of our date is uneventful in the most amazing of ways. We eat, we chat about places we’d like to travel together, and Johnny promises to play me one of his new songs when we get home tonight.
I find myself stopping every so often as if I’m on the outside looking in at the incredible changes in my life this year. On the drive home, watching Johnny sing along to the car radio and letting his voice carry me away on the wings of a dove is a prime example.
I catch him stealing a glance at me when we’re stopped at a traffic light, and it fills my heart to bursting point and sets my pulse racing. I wish this new and exciting phase could last forever, but sometime soon, reality will inevitably kick in.
Thirteen
Ellie
Piper drops her bag and sprints toward me before bowling me over as she wraps her arms tight around me. “Ellie Sawyer, I’ve missed you so much.”
My eyes fill with tears, savoring the familiar scent of her perfume and the comforting squeeze of her embrace. “I missed you too.” We stand, lost in the moment until some uppity airport worker warns Piper about leaving her bags unattended.
“I haven’t seen my best friend in months, give me a break.” She jogs back to grab her bag and returns with the biggest smile on her face. “You look good, buddy. Texas life obviously suits you.”
I drape my arm around her shoulder and usher her toward the parking lot. “It really does. How are you? The only super-shitty part of living here is that I miss you so much it hurts.”
“Well, I’m here now, so tell me everything. Where’s your hunky boyfriend? He didn’t want to come and be part of the welcoming committee?”
Just the mention of him makes me smile. “He’s working on a new song today, but he’ll be coming for dinner at the ranch with everybody.”
“A party? Por moi?”
“Yep. I want you to meet everyone. They’ve heard so much about you, I think they feel like they know you already.”
“And yet, they’re so ill-prepared for the wonder that’s me.” I throw my head back and laugh.
“I’ve missed your crazy chat. My days have been lacking in consistent cray-cray.”
“I know. My personal brand of friendship is best experienced in person.”
When we reach the car, I take the chance for another tight hug before driving us home.
“So, are you dating anyone? Are the billionaires of Manhattan still fawning at your feet?”
“My boss is trying his best to add me to his list of secret-cheating-asshole conquests.”
“Tell me you’re not entertaining the idea.”
“Of course not. I haven’t had a personality transplant since you left. I’m actively searching for a new job. It doesn’t seem to matter how many
times I tell him no, he thinks I’m just playing hard to get. I should tell his wife, but she’s already so beaten down. She knows he’s had multiple affairs, and every day I can see it chipping away at her.”
“That sucks.”
“Yep. So, I’ve decided to work until the summer break, and then I’m done. I want to work for a husband and father who doesn’t care if I’m hot or available but actually wants a great nanny for his kids. Is that too much to ask?”
“It shouldn’t be. It’s your career and is as valid as any other job. I don’t know why the male population seems to believe it’s okay to sexualize the woman who takes care of their children.”
“Let’s change the subject. They’re off on a family trip to Europe this week, so I get to be here with you.”
“Cheers to that.”
“Now, tell me everything about your sex-on-a-stick boyfriend. Is he as hung as I believe him to be? That low, raspy voice of his and the way he plays the guitar, he has to be well endowed.”
“Cut to the chase, why don’t you? My boyfriend’s penis shouldn’t be on your mind.”
“That only applies when he’s a nobody. You’re dating a rock star. Spill the beans.” God, I’ve missed having her around.
“Your belief based on his musical prowess is not wrong. If I’m not careful, he could split me in half.”
“Yes!” Her laughter fills the car, and it’s infectious. “I knew it.”
“Don’t say a word about this to him, okay?”
“But I had my opening greeting all planned out. Hey, anaconda, whip it out so I know what my girl here is enjoying every day.”
“I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“True. Okay, then. I promise I’ll keep the conversation appropriate… for now. All bets are off once he gets to know me.”
“Trust me, you’ll have plenty of eye candy to keep you busy. Although, most of them are married or close enough.”
“Then you’re taking me out somewhere where I can find a cute, single cowboy to satisfy my curiosity.”
“Your curiosity?”
“I need to know if cowboys really do give the best ride.”
“God help the single men of Kingsbury Falls.”
“You know it. Now, how far until we reach the boondocks?”
“We’ve still got an hour’s drive left.”
“Jeez, you really do live out in the sticks.”
“Yep, and you’re going to love it.”
“We’ll see.”
By the time we get back to my house, we have just enough time to change before heading up to the ranch house for dinner with the whole crowd. A.B. is dying to see Piper as they’ve known each other for years. The three of us used to paint the town red back in my residency days.
“Piper, I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend…”
“Johnny Reed.” She ignores his proffered hand and slams him with a hug. “God, you smell good. Run away with me. Ellie is great and all, but you’ll fall in love with me eventually. It would really be a kindness if we let her down now and head to the Chapel O’ Love in Vegas.”
His laughter is music to my ears. Piper’s humor isn’t for everyone, and the fact that he’s literally embracing her makes me smile. “How could I resist? Let’s go.” He hauls her up and over his shoulder. “Sorry, Ellie, I love you more than life itself, but your best friend makes a fair point.”
Piper is killing herself laughing while simultaneously checking out my boyfriend’s ass. She flashes me a thumbs up. “He’s a keeper, Ellie.”
“I could’ve told you that without the theatrics. You two are going to be a nightmare.” Johnny sets her down before scooping me into his arms and planting a mind-altering kiss on my lips. When we come up for air, I can barely form a coherent sentence.
“But I’m your nightmare, sweetheart. And apparently, so is she.” He nods in Piper’s direction.
“I love him already. Carry on. I’m off to introduce myself to the other hunks and get a long-overdue hug from A.B.” She disappears inside the house like she’s been here a million times.
Johnny sets me down on my feet and gives me a slower, more sensual hello. “I missed you today.”
“How did the songwriting go?”
“You may have inspired the sappiest song I’ve ever written in my twenty-eight years on this earth.”
“You wrote a song about me?”
“It’s not the first, but I think it is the best.”
A swell of love stirs inside me, and I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love Johnny. “No one has ever written me a song before. Can I hear it?”
“Not until it’s finished. I want to record it in the studio.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of you naked with your guitar, serenading me after a long night of making love.”
“And now I’m rocking a hard-on. As much as I love your idea, I really want you to hear it for the first time when it’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect. And your naked body is off-the-scale perfect. What more do you need?”
“To do you justice. You are the muse I never knew I wanted.”
“My ovaries just exploded. Gone. No kids for you. Best take me to the hospital now.”
I love the way he pulls me close and chuckles against my neck, his breath a warm caress on my skin. “I love you, Ellie Sawyer. No love song could ever encompass what you do to me.”
“Barf!” Piper appears at the back door. “Are you two going to come up for air any time soon? Food is ready, and I’ve met a room full of the hottest married men. It’s depressing. I need one of my own. Is there a catalog you get when you move to town? Does a hunk come with free shipping? Or buy one, get one free? I’d be down for that deal.”
“I see you’re making yourself at home, bestie.”
Johnny relinquishes me to my friend, who’s quick to drag me inside.
The conversation is abuzz with the arrival of tornado Piper. Jax is laughing his ass off, and as always, never passes up a chance to comment. “Ellie, where have you been hiding this pistol? She’s already one of my favorite people on the planet. How do we coax her to give up Manhattan for the boonies?”
“Her very own cowboy.”
“Done. I’ll make it happen.”
A.B., Savannah, and Maisie are busy pouring drinks for everyone while the boys pile their plates with enough food to feed a small army. Belle and Knox are too lost in each other to notice our arrival, but Johnny is quick to burst their bubble.
“Geez, Knox, can you not devour my sister’s face while I’m in the room?”
“Now you know how I feel,” Maddox interjects. “Welcome to life with siblings in love. It’s gross.”
Savannah has always been somewhat quiet when I’ve been around, but her belly laugh is anything but. “Sorry, bro, you shouldn’t have had such a hot best friend. I was helpless to resist his charms.”
Jax has the look of a man in lust. If looks could ignite, this entire place would be in flames. “If I remember correctly, you resisted me much longer than I would’ve liked. I got you in the end. Who could say no to this ruggedly handsome face?”
“That’s what she loves about you, bro, your humility.” I learned early on that Mad and Jax can’t have a single conversation without ragging on each other. It warms my heart, and they’re quickly becoming like family to me.
“Okay, so is everyone in here related in some way? That smacks of the boondocks.”
“Piper!” I’m mortified.
“What? I just want to know how everyone is connected.”
“Maisie and I have no blood relations to anyone else in the room.” Jasper makes his Hollywood genetics known first. “But these guys are family to us, and we’ve all adopted Ellie, so be prepared. We accept new family members by extension.”
“He’s right.” A.B. saunters over to Piper, draping her arm around her shoulder and squeezing tight. “Knox and Belle aren’t blood-related to us either. We just love to add celebrities
to our little band of merry misfits. Now, we’ve got Johnny, who is Belle’s brother.”
“Not by blood, though?” Her question isn’t meant with any kind of malice, but Johnny’s muscles tighten as I stand at his side.
“Blood doesn’t matter. The people I share DNA with don’t give a shit about me.”
“Well, you’re our family now, too, Johnny boy.” Jax claps him on the shoulder. “We got a two for one with Belle. Doesn’t matter where your career takes you, you’ll always have a family in Kingsbury Falls to come home to.”
My eyes well with tears of joy for Johnny. He needed to hear this, especially with the prospect of heading back out on tour soon.”
“I second that,” A.B. chimes in. “Pipes, did you know that two of my three children aren’t biologically mine?”
“What?” Did I forget to mention that? I don’t think it ever crossed my mind, but I supposed if I took a moment to do the math, I’d have figured it out.
“Of our three wonderful kids, I only gave birth to one, so two are Mad’s by blood, and our sweet little Ruby found us. Of all the parents she could’ve ended up with, she was destined to be part of our family. My love is infinite, and I adore all my babies the same. DNA doesn’t come into the equation.”
Piper glances in my direction. “I can see why you love it here, Ellie. Family changes everything.”
Kirby arrives with his kids just as dinner is served, and I watch Piper as she navigates the room, gravitating toward him. Normally, I leave her to her own devices, but in this instance, I gently take her aside to ‘help me with the drinks.’
“He’s a no-fly zone, Pipes.”
“Why? He doesn’t have a wife in tow.”
“Take a look at his left ring finger.” She follows my gaze to where Kirby takes a long swig of beer.
“Oh. That’s a shame, he’s cute. Very cute. Where’s the ball and chain?”
“She died last year. It was a car wreck.”
She throws her hand up, clasping it over her mouth for a few moments. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. I would never have been so brash if I’d known.”
“That’s why I told you. I knew you’d see things differently if you knew the truth.”
