Extant

by Mary M Wallace

  Extant

  Praetorian Saga Book 3

  Mary Wallace

  Extant © copyright 2019 Mary Wallace

  All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000

  Contents

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  I want to thank my mom for introducing me to the library and the paperback section of our local Goodwill. The two of us would spend hours walking around, reading the spines, flipping through pages. She inspired my love for reading, for stories and the smell of books. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t carrying a book around with me as a child. Thanks Mom, for never taking away my book when you’d catch me reading after bedtime. You’d just give me that knowing look and tell me, “Finish the chapter and then go to sleep.”

  To my dude crew, thank you for not complaining about all the leftovers for dinner. I know how much you hate them. Thanks for giving me the time I needed to finish this book. Mostly, thank you for being the best sons a mom could want.

  Thank you to my William who believed in me, even when I didn’t always believe in myself. That’s more important than you know. Thanks for letting me put my cold feet on you to warm them. Thank you for always advising me to kill a character or blow something up when I can’t decide what comes next. Sometimes it’s the best plan.

  Chapter One

  Sawyer’s fist connected with a solid thump and she felt the force of the punch reverberate in her shoulder. She spun quickly and followed it up with a kick to the ribs that she knew would have broken them, had the training dummy been a real person. She let her mind go blank and focused only on the maneuvers that had been instilled in her since childhood. Technically, her team had the day off from training. She wasn’t required to be here, but she hadn’t had anywhere else to go. Rowan was holed up in his office and didn’t want to be disturbed. Declan and Bree were somewhere in the compound enjoying their free day together. Sawyer hadn’t had any plans for the day, but she’d quickly grown tired of the silence in her quarters.

  She hadn’t really wanted to be around other people and she knew she wasn’t very good company lately. So, she’d spent the morning with solo target practice. After a while, though, the silence provided by the noise-cancelling earmuffs made it far too easy for her mind to wander. So, she’d come to the training arena instead. Sticking her wireless earbuds in her ears, she began to pummel the practice dummy to the sounds of loud rock music. She focused on the moves and the music and pushed aside thoughts of anything important.

  Once she was fully warmed up, Sawyer began to move faster. She let her ability take over little by little until she knew she was moving at her full speed. The sensation washing over her was as close to pure joy as she’d ever felt. She kept going until she felt her muscles begin to ache and her breathing was labored. She slowed slightly, but she knew she was still moving faster than any normal human. When she finally slowed to what she considered a normal pace, she was sweating and nearly panting. Her muscles were screaming at her when she eventually stopped and stripped off her gloves, tossing them to the floor. She bent over, hands on her knees and stayed that way for a few minutes while she caught her breath. When she straightened, she was surprised to see that she was no longer alone in the arena. Corbin was walking toward her.

  She ignored the strange fluttering in her belly. That seemed to be happening more often lately when he was around, and she didn’t want to consider the reason for it. She gave her head a shake to clear it and reached up to remove her earbuds. She raised a hand to him in greeting. He gave her a small smile, but she thought it seemed forced. Her curiosity spiked, and she wondered what that smile meant.

  “Hey,” Sawyer said with a smile, still slightly out of breath. She reached for the towel she’d left on the bench and used it to wipe her sweaty face. She knew she must look like a mess even as she wondered why she should care. She’d never worried about it before. It was only Corbin and he’d seen her looking far worse over the years. She stopped that line of thinking in its tracks. She didn’t care what Corbin thought of the way she looked. She deliberately dropped the towel back to the bench and turned to face him.

  “What’s up?” she asked.

  “I thought I might find you here,” he said in response. He tipped his chin in the direction of the training dummy. “What did he do to piss you off?”

  Sawyer shrugged and looked from the blank face of the dummy back to Corbin as she said, “He’s always looking at me funny.” He chuckled, his mouth curving into a lopsided grin and Sawyer felt another of those annoying flutters in her belly. What is wrong with you? She took a deep breath and turned back to face him. He was still looking at the dummy and Sawyer studied him as he stood there. He looked tense, worried, and maybe a little nervous. She felt her guard go up as she considered what reason Corbin might have to look nervous.

  “What is it?” she asked. “Did something happen?”

  Corbin quickly turned back to face her and shook his head. “No,” he said, rushing to assure her that there was no imminent danger. “Nothing happened.”

  Sawyer felt a wave of relief. It seemed she was always on edge these days, waiting for something horrible to happen.

  He looked away from her again and shoved his hands into his pockets. It was an odd gesture coming from him. Sawyer had always known him to be confident and certain, and this man felt unknown to her.

  “Just say it,” she said, forcing a tone of nonchalance into her words. She gave him a smile that was a shadow of her former cocky grin. “I already beat the hell out of one dummy today. Don’t make me do it to another one.”

  Her words had the desired effect and Corbin’s smile stretched wide across his face. His teeth showed white against his dark beard and there was a crinkle at the corners of his eyes that Sawyer had never paid attention to before. This time, when the flutter came, she couldn’t ignore it if she tried. When had his smile started causing that? She didn’t know, and she really didn’t want to think about why it was happening now. She took a deep breath and spoke again. “Tell me.”

  Corbin looked at her for a long moment before glancing away. “I just came from Conrad’s office,” he said. “He wanted me to come talk to you.” She could tell by his tone that whatever he’d come to talk about wasn’t going to be pleasant.

&nb
sp; She schooled her features into a casual expression. “What about?” she asked in a careful tone, although she thought she already knew. She met his gaze and could see the hint of sadness in his eyes.

  “Rowan,” he said simply.

  Sawyer sighed. “What about him?” But she knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth.

  Corbin gave her a pointed look. “You know what. Talk to him, Sawyer. He’ll listen to you.”

  She shook her head and sat down on the bench. “No, he won’t,” she said. “Not about her. He won’t listen to anyone when it comes to Stella. It’s like he’s avoiding anything to do with her.” She picked at the tape around one hand before she looked back up at Corbin. “I’ve tried. Believe me.”

  Corbin sat down on the bench beside her with a sigh. They sat there, both silently staring out across the empty arena, lost in thought. Finally, Corbin spoke, breaking the silence.

  “Conrad’s a mess. He’s hiding it pretty well, but I can tell he’s hurting. We’re all hurting, I know, but he just lost his daughter. And he’s still trying to run this place, keep us all safe, not to mention taking care of James. It’s all weighing on him.”

  Sawyer considered his words and knew he was right. She couldn’t imagine what Conrad was going through. Losing Lydia had stunned everyone, but it had been hardest on her father.

  Corbin went on, “He wants to know what Stella knows. We both know she’s got information. There’s no way she was with Ephraim for that long and doesn’t know something.” He sighed and reached a hand up to rub his temples. “I don’t like it, but we have to get her to talk,” he said.

  Sawyer felt her hackles rise at what his words implied. She narrowed her eyes and turned to face him fully. “We don’t torture people,” she said in a hard voice. She could feel herself growing angry and sickened at the idea that Corbin might be considering torturing someone who’d once been a member of their team, practically family.

  Corbin’s eyes shot to hers and he shook his head quickly. “No,” he said in a rush. “That’s not what I meant. I wouldn’t do that.” Now, Sawyer could see the anger flashing in his gray eyes. “Is that what you think of me?” His words were an accusation.

  It was as though the appearance of Corbin’s anger sapped away Sawyer’s and she felt relief course through her. She reached over and touched his arm, feeling the muscles bunch in surprise under her touch. The tape that wrapped her hand didn’t quite mask the warmth of his skin and she found herself quickly pulling her hand away, the fingers curling into a loose fist.

  “No. I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I don’t know why I said that. I know you better than that.” Whatever changes the past year had brought, he hadn’t changed so much that she no longer knew him.

  He studied her for a moment before seeming to come to some sort of conclusion. The angry glint in his eyes softened and he sighed. His voice was softer when he spoke again. “I was talking about Rowan. I don’t like the idea of putting him through that. Forcing him to see her and trying to get her to talk. I remember what he was like after we lost her. I can see what he’s like now. He’s sliding back into that dark place. I don’t want him to go back to that. Whatever Stella tells us, it’s going to change him.”

  Sawyer didn’t know what to say. Corbin was right, she knew. She’d been thinking the same thing for weeks. It was why she hadn’t pushed Rowan, even after Stella had flatly refused to speak to anyone else. She hadn’t wanted to cause her brother more pain. She’d been hoping that Stella would have given in by now and spoken to someone or that Rowan would have come to terms on his own. That hadn’t happened. It had been a month and they had nothing to go on. They were all sitting around, waiting for something to happen so they’d have something to do, an enemy to fight. It was frustrating and infuriating. It was why she’d come here today to pummel a practice dummy. She’d needed to hit something. They sat in silence for several moments before Corbin finally spoke.

  His voice was softer somehow, gentle and almost hesitant. “What about you?” he said.

  Sawyer turned to face him, somehow surprised that he was so close. “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “You haven’t been to see her.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement and Sawyer felt defensive again.

  She swiped at a few hairs that had escaped her ponytail and were tickling her cheek. “There’s no point,” she said. “She won’t talk to anyone.” She hated how defensive she sounded. Almost as if he were accusing her of something, though his tone had been gentle and there was nothing but understanding now in his eyes. For some reason, that angered her again, so she turned away from him and focused on peeling the tape from her hands.

  “Maybe not,” he agreed, still using that gentle voice. “But your best friend—practically your sister—comes back from the dead and you haven’t seen her even once. It’s been a month, Sawyer. I’d think you’d be running to see her the first chance you got.” Sawyer was still working on the last bit of tape on her left hand, growing frustrated. Corbin reached over and placed his hand over both of hers, stilling her movements. “What is it?” he asked in that same soft tone that had her turning to face him. “What’s stopping you?”

  She felt her own ire quickly melt away under his gaze and she was shocked to find her vision growing watery. She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut before releasing her breath on a sigh. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  He shifted on the bench, straddling it so he faced her fully. He reached down and took her left hand in both of his. She watched as his large hands worked to quickly remove the remaining tape, dropping it to the floor beside the bench. When he finished, he didn’t release her hand, but held it between his. Sawyer swallowed, trying to ignore the way her heartbeat sped up at his touch. When had things between them shifted? What was it she felt when he touched her? Did he feel it too? She found herself once again unable to put a name to the emotion, so she did what she’d been doing since the night of the team’s first mission—the night she’d almost kissed him. She pushed it aside and tried to pretend she hadn’t felt it.

  “Sawyer, you can talk to me,” Corbin said. “I know you couldn’t before. I wasn’t there for you, but I am now.” He looked up from their joined hands and his eyes met hers. “I’m sorry.”

  She quickly shook her head. “Don’t,” she said. “It’s not you.” She tried to find the right words to explain something she didn’t fully understand herself because she hadn’t let herself think about it.

  “I don’t know what to say to her,” she finally admitted in a voice that sounded foreign to her own ears. “What do I say?” Her eyes once more filled with tears, but this time, she felt them spill over and trail down her cheeks. Embarrassed, she covered her face with her hands.

  She heard him moving before she felt his arms come around her. He pulled her toward him and she went, unresisting. She wrapped her arms around his waist and turned her face into his chest, taking the comfort he offered. She could feel his voice rumble deep in his chest as he spoke.

  “Tell her you missed her. That you’re glad she’s alive.” He paused for a moment. “All the things I should have said to you that day in the parking garage.” She remembered the stab of pain she’d felt at his dismissal that day and it seemed like so long ago. So much had changed between them since her return home. They’d gone from barely speaking to one another to whatever they were now. She didn’t understand the strange shift in their relationship, but she was glad they weren’t fighting anymore.

  “I just keep thinking about that night,” she said in a quiet voice, her head still resting on Corbin’s chest. “We were there. We watched her fall. How is she alive?” Sawyer had done her best to block out the memory of the night they’d lost Stella. They’d all thought she was dead. Since Stella’s sudden return a month earlier, Sawyer had been forced to dissect every moment of that night in her mind.

  “Don’t,” Corbin said in a firm voice. “I know what you’re thinking and
it’s not your fault. It was my order. Not yours.”

  Sawyer squeezed her eyes shut tightly but she couldn’t blot out the image of Stella’s eyes widening with fear and shock as she was knocked backward. Her hands reached for the railing, but it gave way under her weight. Sawyer’s own shock had frozen her for the crucial second that might have been enough to catch Stella. By the time she reached for her hand, it had been too late. She grasped only empty air. Sawyer heard her own shout of surprise just before the gunfire erupted behind her. They were outnumbered and pinned down. She and Corbin barely made it out alive. She’d fought him when he told her they had to leave. She wanted to go back for Stella, even though no one could have survived that fall. She knew it, even as some small part of her tried to believe differently. In the end, Corbin had been forced to carry her out of the building while Tess and Liam had protected them from the heavy gunfire that followed.

  Sawyer had been angry with the others and especially Corbin for choosing to leave Stella behind. There was no way Stella had survived a fall from such a height and Ephraim’s people wouldn’t have exhausted any efforts to keep one of them alive. Everyone knew she was dead. She had to be. Still, the idea of leaving her behind was devastating, especially when she’d had to look at Gwynn and Rowan and tell them what had happened. In the end, she’d been unable to voice the words. Corbin had stepped in front of her and said what she’d been unable to. He’d been protecting her. He still was, she realized as she focused on his strong arms around her.