by Erica Dyer
“Bitch don’t talk to my friend like that,” the short, fat one said.
“Bitch fuck you and your friend,” Lay added.
“Whatever, you still a weak bitch, and I could take his ass any day of the week,” Nicole said. Nicole folded her arms as if I was supposed to be bothered by what she just said.
“Oh, really, you think so? Let's test that theory, Bishop.”
“Sup, babe.”
“Can she, have you?”
“Fuck no. I don’t even understand why you are giving this annoying hoe this much conversation.”
“Just cause he said no in your face, don’t mean shit,” Nicole snapped.
“You are so right,” I responded.
“Bishop, up.”
Without hesitation, Bishop picked me up on his shoulders and slid his tongue up and down my panties in the middle of the mall.
“You still want him, Nicole?”
“Fuck both of y’all,” she said, storming off.
“Are y’all niggas crazy?” Renz said, shaking her head.
“Put me down, Bishop.”
“Crazy bout mine,” he said, licking my juices off his top lip.
“It’s something really wrong with the both of y’all. I’m telling momma,” Lolo stated as she walked away from us.
“That shit was hot. Let me call my nigga and tell him to meet me now. A bitch is ready to bust it wide open,” Eboni's pregnant ass said, looking for her phone.
“Hey Kei’ let me holla at you really quick,” Bishop requested, pulling my hand in the direction of the elevators.
“The bathrooms dirty as shit down here but upstairs should be empty.”
“Don’t get banned from here too with y’all nasty asses,” Renz warned.
We laughed and took our lil nasty asses upstairs, where I came all in Bishop’s mouth. Something about that man I just can’t get enough of.
“Mommy, I didn’t want to hit grandma, but she was hurting KJ.”
“Bri’annna, you not supposed to hit period, especially not grown-ups or your family.”
“But mommy, KJ was crying, and I got to protect her.”
“Bri’annna, your sister's teeth are growing, so she’s going to be cranky, and Grandma has nothing to do with that. But you can’t go around hitting people.”
“But mommy BJ said I’m the big sister.”
“Baby, I understand that, but you can’t hit your grandmother. Now go get that iPad and put it in our room.”
“But mommy…”
“No buts Bri’annna Gabriella Blanca now go!”
Bri’annna stormed off in the direction of her room. That little girl will have me catching charges and bailing out her father.
“Why is my daughter crying in our bed?” Bishop asked as he carried KJ in his arms.
“Because she hit your mother-in-law.”
“Well, what mom dukes do?”
“Bishop!” I screamed. “She didn’t do anything, and even if she did, Bri’ is a child.”
“Bri’ come here”
“Yes, daddy.”
“Why did you hit your grandmother?”
“Because KJ was crying when she was holding her. Daddy, I thought she was hurting her,” she answered, putting her head down.
“Bri’ lift your head up and look at daddy. Now KJ is teething, so she’s going be cranky, and that’s nobody’s fault, okay.”
“Yes, daddy.”
“And what did daddy tell you about hitting people?”
“You said shoot them in the pinky toe?”
“Bishop!”
“What? Was I wrong?”
“You know damn well; she can’t go around shooting people.”
“Why the fuck not, soon as she can see over the counter, I’m taking her straight to the gun range.”
“You are fucking crazy.”
“Crazy for mine.”
“Daddy, mommy said I couldn’t have my iPad.”
“Bri’annna, I’m not scared of your daddy.”
“Bri’ Bri’ go watch a movie in your room really quick.”
“Kei’ let me holla at your right quick,” he asked, licking his lips.
Needless to say, Bri’annna got her iPad back.
Bankz
“Yo Kei’, how much you know about Lay's baby father?”
“Who Si’?”
“Yeah him.”
“Nothing. Why?”
“The nigga came at me last night looking for Sin, talking bout he not taking his spot as HC daddy. Nigga was talking reckless, and before I holla at Sin, I want to see if he’s worth getting at.”
“Babe, Si’ has been a clown since the day I met him. You know he used to beat on Lay and HC too.”
“Fuck, you just say? He did what?” I picked up my phone and called Sin.
“Bro, is Lay near you?”
“Nigga why are you looking for my woman?”
“Boy, don’t nobody want Lay high yellow ass. Is she near you?”
“Yeah, man, damn.”
“Put me on speaker.”
“Bishop, you don’t have to do all this.” Kei’ was trying to defuse the shit before it started.
“Kei’ go sit down somewhere.”
“What’s up Bankz?” Lay said, sounding like she was away from the phone.
“Lil sis, that nigga Si’ use to beat on you and lil man?
“Lay, I swear I thought Sin knew already,” Kei’ hollered into the phone.
“I know you are not talking about that nut ass nigga that Lay just had my son around,” Sin hollered.
“Sin, it’s not that deep, it was years ago, and he is HC daddy.”
“Lay, as much as I love you, if you ever refer to anyone else as my son’s father, I’ll kill you and raise the kids as a single father.”
“What the fuck is wrong with this family?” Kei’ asked, shaking my head.
“Lay, did he or didn’t he beat on you and Harlem?” I was getting annoyed.
“Bankz, he umm I mean he…” Lay was stumbling over her words.
“Bro, what you wanna do?” I questioned, cutting Lay off.
“Well, after I cuss my future wife out for holding this information, I’ll meet you at the gym.”
“Bet, hey yo, we still taking the girls to Disney on Ice?”
“Are you for real Bishop, y’all talking about possibly killing someone than in the same breath you asking about Disney on Ice?” Kei’ inquired like I was wrong or something.
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“I can’t with you.”
“Bro, I’ll see you at the gym,” Sin said, hanging up.
Lay fucked with some nutball ass niggas; I thought as I walked out of the house.
“Sin, how are we handling this Si’ nigga?” I asked soon as I entered the gym.
“Dead that nigga, HC doesn’t need him. He got me.”
“Say less when are you trying to handle this shit?”
“After the wedding.”
“Who’s wedding nigga?”
“Mine. I’m ready to make Lay my wife and adopt Harlem and Brooklyn.”
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about,” I said, giving him dap.
“Yo, on some real shit, I been looking at the houses down by the harbor, and I’m about to buy Lay one. It’s like six more for sale, and I thought maybe we should all just move down there,” Sin suggested, adding more weights to the bar.
“You for real? What the numbers look like?”
“Decent, bro. I talked to Trev and Moshi about it, and they’re down.”
“Well, shit, we should just buy the whole compound,” I stated, ready to move today!
“I got Tiff coming over to set the buy up in an hour. She doesn’t know all the details; she just thinks we all going into business with each other.” Sin was always on point when it came to investments and shit like that. I trusted him with my life, so if he said the numbers were good, I was down.
“Bet, she got everyone
’s account information anyway. We should throw in a new car in there for the ladies.”
“Just one car Bankz. Don’t be trying to buy the car lot out.”
“Nigga shut up and lift the damn weights; I got this”
Kei’sha
“Lay, calm down, please I can’t understand you while you are crying and screaming.”
“Kei’ I fucked up, I didn’t tell Sin the truth about Si,’ and now he’s leaving me.”
“Lay Sin is not going anywhere,” I reassured her.
“Yes, he is. I didn’t tell you that I let Harlem go with Si’ for a day, and Si’ took all the money off Harlem’s bank card Sin gave him. I tried to sneak and put the money back on the card, but you know Harlem tells Sin everything. Now he’s leaving me for good, Kei’ he packed up the whole house, he’s not answering the phone, and he took the kids out of school early. I can’t believe this shit.”
“I’m on my way to you. Just calm down, please.”
I told Sin and Bishop this was a bad idea, but nooooo, no one listens to Kei’sha. This fool Sin wanted to surprise Lay with a new house, and his idea was to pretend he was leaving her and taking the kids. We all know Lay has not had it easy with men. Over the years, she developed anxiety and insecurities. Sin was like a knight in shining armor for her. Why he wanted to play like this was beyond me.
“Kei’ can he take my kids?” Lay asked, still crying and getting on my damn nerves at this point.
“He’s not taking your damn kids, Lay, and legally no, he can’t. He has no rights to them.”
“I just can’t believe my life right now. I didn’t tell Sin what Si did to me because I knew he would kill him, and I didn’t want Sin to get in any trouble. I don’t want to lose Sin. He’s the best thing that ever happened to us. You know HC calls him Dad, and he’s all Brooklynn knows as a father.”
“Lay, it’ll be okay. Try calling him again.”
She picked up her iPhone and called him. This time he answered.
“Sin, baby, where are you? What’s all that music?”
“What? Put it on speaker,” I demanded.
We heard loud music and Sin talking to some girl. What made my neck snap was my damn husband’s voice in the background asking some bitch if she was going to swallow his babies.
“Oh, fuck no,” I said, picking up my phone to call my husband. The bastard didn’t answer. I went to my Find My Phone app to see where his ass was.
Lay sat on the passenger side, crying even harder.
“Lay shut the fuck up, damn it. I need you to grow some balls because if these niggas on some weird shit, I’m killing them both,” I said. I reached over her to get the gun Bishop made me keep in my car for emergencies from out of the glove department.
Lay got her shit together and took the safety off her .22. “You right, Kei, it’s up for these niggas I swear.”
We got to their location within 15 minutes.
“Oh, they fucking with rich bitches I see,” I said, pulling up to a gated community close to Fells Point.
“Look, Kei’ there goes Sin truck, pull over!”
Before I had the car in park, Lay jumped out of the car and was taking the steps two at a time. Getting to the top of the house's stairs, Sin’s truck was parked in front. Lay was about to knock on the door, but I stopped her.
“Nah, we not giving them a chance to even try to lie.” With that said, I aimed my gun and shot that fucking door down. Bishop had me fucked up!
“Sin, I swear I’m going to kill your ass,” Lay said as we kicked the rest of the door down.
When we got in, the first room was empty, so we walked towards the back of the house. What we saw had us stopping in our tracks. The room was filled with our family and friends, yellow and cream roses, candles all around the room. Sin was down on one knee, standing beside him was HC and Brooklynn with signs that said, “He stole our momma's heart, so we are stealing his last name.”
“Oh my god!” Lay cried.
“Lay, I never thought I’d be the type nigga to get married and have kids, but you changed me. You make a nigga want to come home and watch Lifetime.” We all laughed. Lay always had us watching Lifetime movies. “On some real shit, I want this forever, my Goodie. Will you fuck with your nigga the long way?”
“Yes, yes, yes!”
We all screamed and ran to Lay to inspect the ring.
“Ummm, gangster Kei’ are you paying for my damn door too?”
“Kei’ why would you shoot the door, ma?” Bishop asked.
“Nigga I thought y’all was in here with some bitches.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Sin, what do you mean pay for your door?” Lay asked, still admiring her ring.
“I was getting to that, Bishop, Trevor, Moshi, y’all ready?”
“Let’s do it,” they said.
“Do what?” I asked.
Bishop came over to me while all the other guys stood next to their girls.
“When I first met all y’all, I wasn’t feeling it. I have always been a one-man show; besides Sin, I never fucked with a bunch of niggas. I didn’t know Kei’ had such a big family. But thanks to Kei’ I found my family, and a nigga is blessed to have y’all in his life on some G shit; I love y’all niggas. Y’all became the brothers I never wanted,” he laughed. “And the little sisters I’ll go to war for. With that said, me and my brothers decided it’s no point of us all living in different areas when our kids have play dates every fucking day, and our ladies can’t go a day without seeing each other.”
“Ladies welcome home,” Trevor and Moshi said together.
When he said that, each guy gave us a key with a keychain picture on it. It was a picture of all the kids in cute matching outfits.
“Now go outside, and each house has a car in front of it. Find your car, and you’ll find your house.” Sin gave directions.
We ran out of the house in search of our new home.
“I found mine!” Eboni said, standing next to a white 2019 Mercedes- Benz Sprinter van on her license plate said, T.E.A.M 7.
“Trevor, why the fuck you buy my sister a sprinter van?”
Purnell yelled out of the house.
“Nigga we got seven kids. What else could I get her beside a magic school bus?”
We laughed so hard. It was true she couldn’t get a regular car.
“I found my car,” Lay said. Sin brought her a 2019 BMW X7.
The license plate said, “Goodie.”
“Sinnnnn, oh my god!” On the hood of her car was a folder with adoption papers.
“Got mine,” Tiff said. She walked towards her 2019 all-white Audi R8 with “Tiff Piff” on her license plate. Moshi cashed out on that damn car.
“Kei’ did you find yours?” Eboni asked.
“No, Bishop, where my damn car and house at nigga?”
“Damn Kei’ you look like you’re upset.” His ass was laughing like shit was funny.
“Nah, for real, Kei’ let me holla at you for a minute.”
“Oh god, that means we bout to get banned from our new community, don’t be fucking on the lawn or some weird shit like that,” Lay said. She was all hugged up and in Sin's face.
“Shut up and worry about this dick you bout to be bouncing on,” Sin added, smacking her butt.
Mmmmm, yes, daddy,” she said, giving Sin a wet sloppy kiss.”
“No wonder this group stays having babies,” our cousin Jen stated, walking out of Sin and Lay’s house. “I’m broke, don’t invite me to any more baby showers,” she said, getting in her car.
I guess our family sick of us and babies, but the way shit goes in the family, I bet my last dollar another round of babies were on the way.
‘Bishop, where is my damn house and car?”
“Come on, Kei’,” he said, grabbing my hand.
“I swear you are not getting even a whiff of this box if we are not walking to a damn house and car.”
“Well damn Kei’ what if your nigga couldn’t afford all th
at.”
“Nigga shut up, I’m in charge of your books; you can afford all these damn houses,” Tiff said, walking behind us with the rest of the group following to.
“Tiff, I’m firing your ass,” Bishop said, looking back at her.
“And I’m taking all your money, win-win for me.”
“I’m reporting your ass to the ethic community or something,” Bishop said, stopping in front of this gorgeous house with a white 2019 Jeep Cherokee High Altitude 4x4, with “Kei2Bank” on the license plate and a 2019 Mercedes- Benz S-class coupe with “BJ4ever” on the licenses plate.
“Nigga we said one damn car and house. Why you gotta be the hardheaded one?” Sin yelled.
“Man, that Jeep was cheap as hell; Kei’ been talking about that raggedy-ass truck since I met her, so I had to get it, but I had to get my baby something else.”
“I can’t believe we all get to live so close to each other. This is so dope, and the all-white theme y’all got going on is hot,” Tiff said.
“Now make sure y’all share y’all toys and play nice with each other,” Moshi demanded, sounding like somebody’s damn daddy.
“Oh, hush it,” Tiff said, giving him a kiss.
“Yo Kei’ let me holla at you real quick. I wanna show you the balcony,” Bishop stated while holding my hand and walking towards our new home.
“Y’all better not be fucking on that front balcony. I don’t wanna step out to get my morning paper and see you sticking dick in lil sis,” Sin joked.
“Nigga you don’t even read the paper, so shut up.”
We walked into our house and fucked in each room, including bathrooms, closets, pantries, and all three balconies’ the house had. Yeah, another round of babies was coming soon.
“Bri’ Bri’, are you ready to see all your guests?”
“Mommy, can KJ wear the same thing as me?”
“Bri’ Bri’, we talked about this; it’s your day. KJ will have the same colors on, but that’s it.”
“Okay, mommy, can I get her dressed?”
“Sure, Bri’ Bri’.”
“Oh, and mommy, can you stop calling me Bri’ Bri’? I’m six now and a big girl.”
I laughed, “Of course, baby, what would you like mommy to call you?”
“Just Bri’ mommy.”
“Okay, baby, I can do that.”
