He frowned. “If I am to stand in as his guardian or uncle or what have you, I will not do so half-heartedly. There will be dancing instructors and other teachers later on.”
She swallowed and had to hold herself back from kissing him again.
“Of course, there is always the option to send him away to school.” Ganden said. “There, they’d be sure to teach him how to be a proper gentleman.”
She’d been holding onto him still, but at those words, she let him go. “No. That is not an option. George’s place is here. With me.”
Ganden watched her. “No. George’s place is wherever I say it is.”
And just like that, he sent her into a panic. She backed away farther. “You wouldn’t take him from me, would you?”
“Eton has built some of the finest gentlemen in Society today. It is a good school,” Ganden said “or so I hear.”
“But...” She shook her head. “I just got him. I couldn’t part with him, Ganden. Not now.” She’d likely follow him to Oxford or Cambridge if that was where George wished to go later and if Ganden was willing to sponsor him. “Don’t take him away from me.”
Ganden sat and sighed. “I’m considering every option available to me.”
Lucy felt the urge to run. To grab George and disappear. She still had her money. It would be enough to get so far away that Ganden could never find them. No one could.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Sit.”
She didn’t want to. It was the very last thing she wished to do. She felt as though she’d been waiting for him to do…something and had been sure the waiting would hurt her more than anything else.
She was wrong. “No.”
“Lucy.” he challenged.
“Tell me now. Are you sending George away? Because, if you do—”
“You’ll do what?” He leaned forward in the chair. “Tell me, what would you do, wife? What scheme would you undertake in reaction? Well, let me tell you. It doesn’t matter. You can do nothing to hurt me.” His brows were pinched before he looked away and leaned back in the chair. “Sit down, Lucy.” he growled.
Lucy stilled and went silent as she stared into his eyes. There was much hidden in those words, but she was too upset and too riled to try and understand it. She already knew she couldn’t hurt him, because he didn’t actually care for her or her opinions.
Therefore, she saw no point in remaining in the room. She left.
She was in the hall when he grabbed her around the waist and hauled her back into the sitting room. His arm might as well have been made of stone. It was unyielding no matter how much she pushed and beat upon it. “You will not control me.”
“Won’t I?” He closed the doors to the drawing room before letting her go and turning her to face him.
“I cannot stand you.” Lucy whispered before she turned away.
∫ ∫ ∫
2 4
* * *
When Ganden said nothing else, Lucy turned to him again. He’d been poised to speak, but at her words, he drew away. She wanted to believe her statement startled him, but she didn’t think that could be so.
“It is what you want, is it not?” she asked. “For me to despise you?” She stared at him and actually wanted an answer, because she was at a loss in this marriage.
Ganden still said nothing, but his eyes became guarded.
She lifted her hands in disbelief. Over a decade in captivity and she’d had enough. “What is it you want from me? Whatever your intentions, simply do it now.” She straightened and shook at what she would say next. “Do you...wish to hit me? It only seems fair, does it not? I hit you, after all. Never mind that I did it to spare a boy who’d never done anything to offend the world but be born!”
Ganden approached her. “Quiet.”
“Hit me!” she screamed.
He lifted his hands.
She recoiled.
His hands landed on either side of her head and forced her gaze back to him. “Have you lost your mind? I would never hit you.”
“No.” Her voice trembled, and she felt the sting of tears. “You’ll simply destroy me in other ways, and I’m tired of waiting for it. So…do what you must. Seek your revenge upon me and let it go.”
His voice was calm. Unusually so, yet it still held warning. “You will not tell me what to do, for starters. Also, I believe I was imprisoned for two years. Your captivity has only begun.”
She groaned in frustration. “Is this your plan? To drive me mad?” Was this how he felt all the time? She thought he must, because she was starting to see the appeal of destroying the furniture.
If only there wasn’t so little left.
“Lucy, calm yourself.”
“No!” She didn’t want to be calm. She’d never been so scared and furious in her life. She’d never been able to lash out. She realized then that a part of her knew Ganden would never hit her. She could likely hit him over the head with another chair and he’d still not strike.
Not that she would ever, ever do it again. The first time had taken too much of a toll on her. She’d been ill for months afterward. She still felt guilt over it.
She struggled to get out of his hold, but he only tightened his hands.
“Breathe, Lucy.” he commanded.
“I don’t wish to breathe!” She only said it because she wished to be defiant, but she quickly realized how ridiculous she sounded.
He grinned and then chuckled.
Lucy refused to allow herself to do the same.
“Calm down.” he said.
“No.” she whispered.
He lifted a brow. “Calm yourself or I’ll do it for you.”
How would he do that?
She trembled. She didn’t want to know.
* * *
Kent held Lucy between his hands, still trying to figure out who this woman was. She was very different than the one he recalled from a few years ago, who was more silent than not. But this woman, his wife…
Her eyes blazed with a wrath that surprised him. For a moment, he’d wondered if Lucy’s spirit had been replaced by that of a mother bear defending her cub. At the very mention of George going to school—which he still thought a reasonable idea—she’d changed.
She reminded him of himself.
There were moments when it felt like someone had taken a brush with black paint and covered everything else from his sight, leaving him with nothing but the burning image of destruction and hate.
He hadn’t been sure of his motives for continuing to mention the possibility of George going to school until that very moment. He was testing her love for George, because he was still struggling to understand it. How had she not bowed to him when anyone else would have?
How had his own mother not fought for him when his father had punished him for, as Lucy said, the offense of existing? He was certain his father hadn’t loved him. All Kent had been was an outlet to the man’s strange anger. His mother’s sacrifice so that she would not have to deal with him.
How could Lucy be so different when George was not even hers? Perhaps, it had more to do with her sister Jessica than the boy.
Kent had a brother he planned to see tomorrow. It was not a meeting he looked forward to.
“We’re going to see my brother the day after tomorrow,” he said. “It’s likely my mother will be there as well.”
Lucy blinked. “Are you going to send George away?”
“Not at the moment.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you going to let me go?”
He did.
She reeled away as though she couldn’t wait to be rid of him. Then she went around him. “I have nothing appropriate to see the dowager in, but I’ll be ready whenever you are.”
Since he’d wed, his mother was a dowager now. He’d be glad to deliver that news to her.
* * *
“George will be fine in my care.” Nora told Lucy the next morning. “You’ve no need to worry.”
Lucy smiled. “I suppo
se you’re right.” She wasn’t actually that concerned for George. The boy had already taken to his new surroundings and to Nora and Miriam.
They sat in the upstairs drawing room together, a place that would soon become George and Miriam’s schoolroom, sipping tea.
Nora stared her expectantly. Lucy had told the woman she’d be gone ten minutes ago and yet…Lucy was nervous. She was actually hiding from Ganden. Not from any fear she felt for him but fear at the situation. She was to meet his mother. How did Ganden wish her to act in front of the woman?
What would the dowager say when she saw the woman who’d taken the position as Lady Ganden? Would it be obvious just how far beneath such a title Lucy truly was?
Instead of growing in popularity in London Society for the last two years, Lucy had for the most part been locked away. She was far better at speaking to servants than she was to ladies, especially a countess.
A countess. That’s what she was. It was hard to believe since she’d not left the property since wedding Ganden.
Ganden appeared at the entrance. He looked marvelous in a dark blue jacket with a pristinely-white shirt and cravat underneath. Buckskin caressed his long and powerful limbs. His boots reflected the light. His hair was pushed back with only the barest of curls to draw out his…dare she think…handsomeness. It was clearly the absence of seeing him that had her thinking that way. He’d left the night he’d declared their plans for today and hadn’t returned until very early that morning.
Lucy didn’t bother trying to guess where he’d been. Since he was not visiting her bed, she could only assume he’d been in someone else’s.
Looking at him as he was now, she thought it likely no woman in her right mind would turn him away. That troubled her more than she wished to think about.
“You look like a real earl.” George said in awe.
Lucy cringed, believing Ganden would be offended by the child’s blunt comment.
Ganden lifted a brow and turned to face the boy. “Do I? You think so?”
“You look marvelous!” George said. “And strong. Aunt Lucy said you were strong.”
Ganden turned to Lucy just as her face caught fire. She’d told George that Ganden was strong what seemed like a lifetime ago. It had been that morning when they’d been in their flat, awaiting Ganden to claim Lucy as his wife.
George turned to Miriam. “Doesn’t he look strong?”
Miriam bobbed her chin up and down. The children shared a chaise. George seemed to have taken on the role of big brother and was quite attentive to his younger friend.
After greeting Nora, Ganden turned to Lucy. “Shall we depart?”
Lucy stood and crossed the room to him. When he held out his arm, she was surprised but took it. She wore the same dress she’d married him in. The very best one she had. It looked like a rag compared to Ganden’s apparel.
But she told herself it didn’t matter. George’s new things were starting to arrive, and he was looking much like a little gentleman these days. That was what mattered.
But she had thought to spend some of her own money for clothes. Now that she didn’t have to worry about food or a roof over her head…but she wouldn’t spend the money. She never knew if a time would come when she’d need it.
∫ ∫ ∫
2 5
* * *
Lucy was quickly rethinking her idea not to purchase a grown.
“Have you not been to a modiste yet?” Ganden asked as they reached the carriage. He clearly did not approve of her appearance, which hurt.
She allowed him to help her in and then he turned to her. “I’m fine with the clothes I have.” She wouldn’t mention her money, just in case he’d forgotten about it.
“Go to a modiste.” Ganden sat across from her. “You’re the Countess of Ganden now. You must look the part.”
“Oh, you mean like your home?” Lucy murmured as she looked out the window, hoping to put him in his place. The day was starting out far worse than she’d thought it would.
He grinned. “No cheeky remarks around my mother. She doesn’t like people who think themselves smarter than her.”
“And you actually care if she likes me?” She looked at him then and hated that she’d done so.
He did look handsome and though she was quite upset that he’d threatened to send George away, she’d not have refused consummating their marriage. She actually hoped doing so would get them on a different path.
She wanted to go back to that moment they’d been alone in Mr. Goody’s house when she’d told him that he was something special. She’d meant it then and all the men she’d known in her life, past and present, couldn’t compare to him, the man who made her mad with anger and pulsing with need at the same time. Every other gentleman who’d ever thought to court her had been pleasant enough, but Ganden was all consuming.
“I can’t think why Mother wouldn’t like you.” His eyes were trained on her. They looked greener than usual, if that were possible. “You have much in common, like despising me.”
She frowned as her words to him came back to her, but she couldn’t take them back. Not now. “I’m sure your mother doesn’t despise you.” She wouldn’t be surprised if the woman was afraid of him.
Only Lucy didn’t have the sanity to feel the same.
“I meant to tell you.” Ganden said. “George and I ran into Mr. Maltsby in the park.”
Lucy sucked in a breath and then ceased breathing all together. Her poor heart…it had taken a toll this week. She wasn’t sure if it could handle anymore. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Ganden leaned forward. “I want you to calm yourself. Nothing will happen to George.”
“Except you might send him off to school.” she hissed.
“You make it sound as though I plan to send him off to war.” He narrowed his gaze. “School might be a safer place for him.”
She shook his head. “It won’t be. He’ll not be seen as a real gentleman, Ganden. Surely, you know he will be treated differently by both the staff and his peers.”
He stared at her. “So, what will you do? Protect him from everyone and every slur for the rest of his life?”
“If I can help it.” She frowned. “He’s only ten. He needs me.”
He scoffed and leaned away. “You coddle him.”
“And, of course, you disapprove, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.” He rubbed his chin. “But you do realize that there is no way to keep him from everything, don’t you? He will one day be a man, and he must learn to accept who he is before that. Otherwise, he’ll become whatever others claim him to be. He must define himself before others seek to.”
“You sound as though you speak from experience.” she said.
The topic was quickly shut down when Ganden said, “Mr. Maltsby approached also because he wanted me to return my money to the bank…as though I or the other lords would ever do such a thing. We had a good laugh about that last evening.”
“You were with the others last night?” she asked in a voice she hoped hid her need to know the truth.
He lifted a brow. “I slept at Lord Astlen’s.”
“And the night before?” she asked.
“Astlen’s. A few of the others were there.” He was silent and then said, “Why? Were you concerned? Did you believe I’d let another woman sit on my lap? A lightskirt perhaps?”
She was surprised by the strength that made her stare unwavering. “Well, that’s none of my concern, is it?” He’d already made it clear he would do as he pleased.
His jaw tightened. “We’re here.”
* * *
Kent hadn’t known just how many guests would be at the event, but he was glad to see a crowd and to hear them through the door before he and Lucy entered. While he enjoyed being alone most, if he had to deal with his mother, it was always best to do it in the company of others. Such numbers made her friendly. He’d only get looks of disapproval for his existence when others weren’t around.
“I thought we were visiting your mother.” Lucy said. “I didn’t think we were attending a party.” She looked down at her dress, and he knew instinctively she’d grown self-conscious.
He wanted to tell her that it didn’t matter what she wore. When he looked into her eyes, he wanted to rip her clothes off. He’d fantasized about snapping her fragile blue lace in two and pushing her pale skirts up her legs.
Any man who saw her face wouldn’t care for her clothes.
But the women…
“It is your own fault you don’t look fashionably presentable.” he said.
She glared at him, but he saw the pinch across her nose and knew his comments stung.
He should take it back.
“Lucy.” he began.
“Kent!”
He looked up at his brother just as the younger man wrapped him in an embrace. “Kent, I didn’t think you’d come.” Colby Harris grinned. He was devilishly handsome, but today, even Kent could tell there was something special about him.
It was that ‘something special’ that had forced Kent to attend the party. His brother was the only man in the world who loved him. It was easy for him to forget that until he saw Colby and the joy that overcame his younger brother when he was in the room.
They’d been at odds for the last few years. After being released from Mr. Goody’s home, Kent hadn’t wanted anyone around him. He’d not trusted Colby or anyone else.
Lucy’s betrayal had played a heavy part in his feelings.
But then Colby had come to him a month ago and told him how much he loved him. And Kent had…calmed considerably. He’d found some semblance of light in his brother and then he’d seen it when Lord and Lady Denhallow were together. True love. It existed.
Of course, he knew that what he and Lucy had would never be equal to what Denhallow and his bride had, because he wouldn’t trust Lucy with his heart again.
But with his brother, he found peace.
“Allow me to introduce my future bride.” Colby went on. “Lady Teresa Pinch, this is my brother, the Earl of Ganden.”
Dread of The Earl (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 11
