Miss Emma gasped, but when she went to speak, Lord Bracken spoke first. “I’m thankful for the charity work you do, but Miss Emma and I were merely talking. I can assure you that we are quite well, thank you.”
Matilda gave a derisive snort to hide the joy that went through her bones. The young woman was a hussy and would be treated as such by the ton if she, Matilda, had anything to do with it. When the girl’s name was ruined, Lord Bracken would return his gaze to Matilda.
“It is my responsibility as a woman of integrity to tell my friends what I have learned,” Matilda said as she squared her shoulders. “I’m sorry, but I must inform your sister of what I have seen today. It will break her heart, but I suspect that if the woman has any sense, she will send Miss Emma far away in an attempt to regain her good name.”
“Oh, please, do not,” Miss Emma said. “I beg of you. There is no reason to tell my sister.”
Matilda sniffed. “I’m sorry, but a woman of low morals must know that her actions have consequences. When she acts in such a manner, she must learn that she hurts not only herself but her family, as well.” She could not help but stand taller as her friends nodded in agreement.
Lord Bracken stared down at her. Oh, how devilishly handsome the man was! She could not help but sigh at the thought of him kissing her in exchange for her silence.
“I suppose you will inform everyone you can?” Lord Bracken asked.
Matilda nodded firmly. “I’m left with no choice.”
“I suppose I should thank you, then.”
Matilda stared at the man. “Thank me?” she asked, taken aback. “Why would you thank me?”
Lord Bracken laughed. “I had meant to make an announcement today, but now you can make it for me. Miss Emma and I are engaged to be married. So, please, as you call on each house, share our joyous news.”
Matilda gripped her wrap. How dare he lie to her! Yet, if they intended to say they were indeed engaged, then her tales of catching them kissing would fall on deaf ears.
“Good day to you, Lord Bracken,” she said curtly. Hurt and betrayed, she turned and headed back to where they had left their carriage at the end of the drive. How she wished she was much younger and it had been she who had been caught kissing him on his portico!
Chapter Eighteen
A thin layer of snow still covered the road where the sun did not touch it, but the mud was not so bad as to leave the way impassable. It was not the terrain that worried Emma, however, nor was it her actions over the past week. What distressed her was what the old women had seen, and worse, what Michael had said in their defense.
As their horses trudged side by side, Emma turned in her saddle. “Michael? That woman…”
“Is a nosy old crone,” Michael said. “For years she has been the leader of her group of gossips, flapping her tongue in hopes of gaining favor amongst the ton. It would have been far better if your sister had called today instead of her.”
Emma sighed. “I understand that, and I agree with your assessment of her. But it is what you told her. Did you have to say we were engaged?” As she muttered the last, her heart fluttered. For a moment, she allowed herself to believe that they were truly engaged, and somehow that thought pleased her.
“It was either that or to say nothing and allow the old horse to spread her rumors.” He blew out his breath. “I did not mean to upset you. I only wanted to help.”
Emma pulled up on the reins. “Oh, no, you did not upset me,” she said. “Thank you for your quick thinking. I’m just unsure what to do from here.”
Michael sighed and removed the flask from his pocket. “You have but two choices,” he said before taking a quick drink. He offered her the flask and she shook her head.
“Two choices?” she asked, urging him to continue.
“Yes. Either you return home and hope the rumor does not damage your name, or we keep up the ruse of being engaged for now. I do not care either way. My name is already ruined.”
They began to ride once more and Emma considered her choices. To say she was engaged to a man was one thing, but to Michael? His reputation was indeed tarnished, blackened quite deeply. What would be worse? To be known publicly as a lady who was caught kissing such a rogue or that she was engaged to him? Furthermore, he was a drunkard. He would never be an appropriate suitor for her.
It was as though Michael read her thoughts, for his next words caused guilt to overtake her. “I find it amusing that here I am helping a woman return to her estate, whose very calling to my home was to seduce me into selling my land.” He let out a small laugh. “Then, when I save her life, not once now but thrice if we include the incident with Mrs. Benedict, the woman worries only for herself.”
“Are you saying I’m selfish?” Emma asked in shock. “I’m many things, but I can assure you that selfish is not one of them.”
The road bent to the right, and a carriage approached them, the driver paying them no heed as his eyes remained focused on the road ahead.
Once the carriage was gone, Michael turned narrowed eyes on her. “Do not lie to me. The thought of being engaged to the town drunk bothers you, does it not?”
Emma shook her head in frustration. He was right, but she had not wanted to hurt his feelings.
“Answer me!”
“Very well,” she said with a jut to her chin. “Yes, your reputation does leave much to be desired. If I were to go along with this sham of an engagement, it would not bode well for me.”
Michael’s laugh was so cold, Emma wondered if he would make it snow again.
“You truly do not see it, do you?” he demanded, the laughter now gone. “You are selfish. Just now, you worried about your reputation, yet it was you who sent a letter requesting to call on me. Alone.”
“Well, yes, but…”
“Was it not you who batted your eyelashes and gave honeyed smiles in the same manner that a woman uses to tempt a man?”
Emma pursed her lips and looked straight ahead. How dare he!
“And was it not you who kissed me in front of my house?”
“Very well, yes, it was me,” she said, unable to keep the anger from her tone. Whether her anger was at him or herself was still uncertain. “I will not lie.”
“And yet, through it all, you worry that it is I who will ruin your name?” He snorted at this before taking another swig from his flask. “You are many things, Miss Emma Shepherd - beautiful, wise, and filled with such an innocence that you would cause any man to do your bidding. But you are also selfish.”
Emma shook her head. She did not want to hear this man’s words anymore, but beneath it all, she feared he was right in some way. The choice to go to his house had been done with the best of intentions, but the kisses and other acts happened with no consideration for him.
Embarrassed, she shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I do not care,” Michael said. “You have made it clear numerous times what you think of me.”
How dare he throw her apology aside as if it were nothing more than a dirty stocking! “I may believe you have some qualities that are…questionable. Yet, I also believe you are a good man who drinks from the moment the sun rises until well past its setting every night. Because of that, and because of the other points you have mentioned, I had hoped to never admit this, but I will.” She took a deep breath. “The thought of a man like you courting me is intriguing, and I have decided that I would allow you to if you were to ask despite your shortcomings.”
He snorted again. Did he have to be so rude? “Court you?” he asked. “You just admitted you think me a drunk.”
“I speak of the man inside you, the one you keep hidden beneath your inebriation, not the drunk who wallows in self-pity. The man who tends a woman when she is bedridden with fever. The man who risks his life as wolves attack another. The man who opens his heart and shares what it contains. That is the man to whom I find an attraction. Yet, I do not see him often enough to take the risk.”
&nb
sp; Michael looked away so quickly Emma thought he might ride ahead in anger. Instead, he kept his horse beside hers at an even pace, though he said nothing. She had spoken the truth, for he had many qualities she desired in a man, including a heart that could hold a great amount of love.
“When we kissed earlier,” Emma said, breaking the silence, “did it mean anything to you?” This was met with a light chuckle and another drink from his flask.
“If you speak of a physical satisfaction,” he said, “then you should know that I enjoy a good kiss as any other man would. If you ask if it awoke some sort of romantic feelings, then the answer is no.”
Emma bit at her lip. She did not believe the man spoke the truth. Or perhaps it was that she did not want his words to be true.
As they approached the drive that led to Sweetspire Estates, she thought of what Michael had done for her. Had she been selfish in how she dealt with him? Some of her actions had been less than honorable, that she could not deny.
At one point she had agreed to attend a party with him, to allow him one last chance to earn back his estate, and she pictured his house back to what she imagined as its previous splendor. If he could have returned to him what was his, would he then set aside the drink, resume his business agreements, and put his life back in order?
Emma came to a decision, one that could change her life forever. That inner man needed her help. Michael had been correct; she had been selfish. Constance and Louisa had always put others before themselves, and now Emma would do the same.
“If you will allow me to do so,” she said as they turned toward her home, “I would like to accompany you to this party you mentioned at the home of Lord Whisken. I will play your mistress, or your fiancée, whatever it is you need, if it means you can win back your estate.”
He turned toward her. “You do not need to do that,” he said. “It is not a place of for lady.”
“Nor for a baron,” she said firmly. “I will honor my promise and attend.”
The smile that crossed his face caused the all too familiar ache to flare in her heart. “I will hire a carriage so we can allow others to see us as a couple. May I come for you the day after tomorrow?”
She nodded. Constance was not due back for some time yet.
“Then I will explain everything you need to know and what to expect at the party.” He looked forward once more. “After the party, we can part ways.”
“Yes, of course,” Emma replied. “Part ways.” The words did not feel comfortable leaving her lips.
“Go and rest,” he said as he pulled up on the reins and the horse came to a stop. “We will have a busy week, and you will need your strength.” Without another word, he turned the horse and cantered back the way they had come.
Emma found herself thinking of what she had just done. When Constance returned, she would be horrified when she learned that Emma was engaged to Lord Bracken - a rogue, a drunkard, and as Emma suspected, a man she just might love.
***
As Emma entered the house, Mosley rose from his chair, his voice trembling as he spoke. “You are alive. Oh, we were so worried that you had died.”
“We?” Emma asked, her heart racing. Then she turned to find Sally entering the foyer. “What are you doing here?”
Though the woman was quite pretty in her white flowing dress, her face was pinched in anger. “I should ask the same of you,” she snapped. “I returned to find you missing. Do you realize how worried I’ve been? I’ve spent the last two days searching for you and even considered sending word to your sister in London!”
“I’m sorry,” Emma said, unable to quell the guilt that overtook her. “I did not mean to upset you.”
Sally placed her hands on her hips. “Where have you been?”
Emma glanced at Mosley, who raised eyebrows in surprise. “But poor Miss Emma has been gone for no more than an hour,” he insisted. “Do not worry so. Louisa does not mind.”
To hear the man speak so broke Emma’s heart. His memory was only getting worse, and he often spoke of those who had died as if they still lived.
Sally sighed in frustration. “Let’s go and sit in the parlor to continue this discussion.”
Emma nodded, but fear filled her at what was to come. As Emma took a seat on the couch, Sally closed the door. The flames in the fireplace sent a warming to her chilled body, and she found herself wondering if Michael would be looking into his fireplace when he returned to his house.
“I’m in the most peculiar of predicaments,” Sally said as she sat beside Emma. “I’m not your sister, nor am I family, but I love you as though I were.”
“I know this,” Emma said, her heart hurting for the pain she was causing the woman. “I love you as much as I do my sisters. I’m sorry.”
Sally turned toward Emma. “You must tell me where you’ve been. And don’t lie to me.”
Emma looked down at her hands in her lap. Should she say the truth? How quickly fear and worry could replace the joy she had felt only moments ago. “If I tell you, can I trust you not to tell Constance?”
“I can’t make such a promise,” Sally replied indignantly. “I have sworn to protect you and your sisters.” She took Emma’s hand in her own. “I will listen, however, and try to understand. That I can promise you.”
What choice did Emma have? Eventually, she would have to confess all to Constance - never had she kept any secrets from her oldest sister - and maybe by confessing all to Sally now would ease explaining it to Constance.
“The land Stephen wanted to acquire,” she said, “to grow the estate. It was owned by a man who did not wish to sell it.”
Sally nodded. “Lord Bracken. How unfortunate that a man like him holds the deed to the land.”
“Well, I called over to his house.”
“Alone?” Sally asked, her eyes wide with shock. “When did you do this? The day I returned?”
Emma swallowed hard. “No. It was a week ago.”
Sally rose from the couch and hurried over to the small liquor cart. She poured herself a glass of sherry and took a rather unladylike gulp of it before rounding on Emma. “You have been at the man’s house for an entire week?” she asked with incredulity.
“Yes.” Her reply was little more than a croak.
Sally filled a second glass and handed it to Emma. “Here. This may be the last one you’ll enjoy for some time. Continue.”
“I went because I wanted to help Stephen secure the land,” Emma said. “Constance told me my smile was beautiful and I thought I could use it to persuade the man to sell.”
Sally eyed her for a moment. “You did not….” Though the woman did not say it aloud, Emma caught her meaning.
“Oh, no!” Emma replied, aghast. “That did not happen.”
Sally gave a long sigh. “Thank goodness.”
“Well, I have not told you everything…”
It took nearly an hour of explanation between numerous questions to tell her story, and by the time she finished, what little energy she had was depleted.
“I have nothing more to say than this,” she said with a sigh.
Sally groaned. “What more could you possibly add?”
“I believe he is a good man,” Emma said. “By attending the party at the home of this Lord Whisken, not only will Michael have the chance to see everything restored, but it will give him a reason to change his ways.”
Sally stood and walked over to the window. “Emma, men are very cunning in their ways.”
“But not Michael,” Emma insisted as she joined Sally. “Do you not see? He risked his life for me, and that is why I agreed to this charade. I feel as if I owe him.”
“This party is scandalous,” Sally said, shaking her head. “And you are to go as his mistress? It doesn’t sit well with me, nor would Constance ever approve.”
“That is why I must ask you to not tell her,” Emma urged. “I know I ask much, but I must do this for Michael. For us. You see, I believe I have come to love the man.�
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“Oh, Emma,” Sally said, surprising Emma by embracing her. “He saved your life. What you feel for this man is gratitude, not love.”
Emma pulled away. “No. I know in my heart it is love. It cannot be anything less. We have already set plans in motion. In two days, I will accompany him to town. Go with us as my chaperon to see him and what he truly can be.”
“I suppose I can do that,” Sally said, though she sounded reluctant. “But we must discuss this engagement before even considering anything else.”
“We will. And I would like to ask a favor. Will you watch to see if you see what I see?”
“What do you mean?”
“Love. You must tell me if you see that it is love I have for the man or if it is indeed gratitude. I admit that I’m unsure what the difference is, but I know which I believe I feel.”
Sally took Emma’s hand in her own. “Though I once experienced love - and it is a wonderful feeling - I cannot tell you if you are in love.”
“Then how will I know?”
“When the time comes, you will know. Trust me. Now, let’s talk more about Lord Bracken. I want you to tell me again everything that happened, and don’t omit anything.”
With a sigh, Emma told Sally everything, even those details she had indeed omitted. How had the woman known she had left out certain information? Though Sally did not judge her, Emma felt worried all the same. When she finished with the kiss she gave Michael - a detail she had not mentioned in her first telling - Sally sighed.
“And now you know why I am allowing this mock engagement and why I have developed the feelings I have for him. I tried to run from him, but my heart aches whenever I even think of being apart from him.” This was the truth, for that was how she felt even now. Their next outing, which was only two days away, felt as if it were a year in the future.
“I’ve much to consider,” Sally said. “But you must rest. In two days, I will be your chaperon, and once I have witnessed the two of you together, we will discuss it further.”
They stood and with a final embrace, Emma went to her room. As she lay beneath the blankets, she found not having Michael by her side left her feeling lonely, and she wanted nothing more than to rest her face against his broad chest and feel his lips upon hers…
Barons Always Win Wagers (Forbidden Kisses Book 3) Page 13
