by Abby Green
‘Image is everything in your world, you mean,’ she pointed out tartly.
‘It’s your world now, too. Yours and Daniel’s.’
She seized on something. ‘I can’t go to this function with you—what about Daniel?’
‘I’ve arranged for some nannies to come tomorrow morning for you to interview. You’ll have to get used to leaving him.’
The speed at which Nikos was turning their lives upside down made Maggie feel panicky. ‘I’ll only leave Daniel if I feel I can trust someone.’
Nikos looked as if he was about to argue, but then he said, ‘Fair enough.’
As if on cue there was a cry from the sitting room. Maggie welcomed the distraction from their disturbing conversation and hurried back to the main living room. It was more like a vast luxurious waiting room, with big modern canvases on the walls and low glass coffee tables covered with big books featuring photos of beautiful people, beautiful houses, beautiful scenery.
Nikos had followed her into the room and stood near the open French doors leading out to the terrace, watching as she tended to Daniel, settled him to feed.
She suddenly stopped and looked up. ‘Is it okay to feed him in here?’
‘Of course. This is your home now too, Maggie.’
She privately wondered if he’d still say that if he knew that Daniel might quite easily upchuck all over the expensive fabrics, but the baby was restless, fussing, and she needed to feed him. He latched on with unerring accuracy, making her wince slightly.
‘Does it hurt?’
Maggie looked up again. She’d preserved her modesty by placing a muslin cloth over Daniel’s head and her breast, but she still felt as if Nikos could see right through it.
She was surprised at his question. ‘No, not really—I’ve been lucky. Some women can’t breastfeed at all. But it’s just...a little sensitive.’
He said, ‘You should make a list of things you need for Daniel and I’ll give it to an assistant.’
Maggie nodded, but she was distracted by her view of Nikos, with the backdrop of Paris behind him. She could just see the top of the Eiffel Tower. He had his hands on his hips and he couldn’t have looked less domesticated. He looked like what he was: a titan of industry with all the natural attributes of a sex god.
Fresh panic hit her at the thought of how easily he affected her and at the enormity of living this new life.
‘We don’t have to stay here, you know. I’m happy to stay somewhere else with Daniel. It’s a bit grand for us.’
Nikos’s gaze narrowed on Maggie. He’d caught a glimpse of voluptuous breast before she’d started to feed the baby, and even that very un-inflammatory view had sent his blood spiralling downwards.
He cursed her silently for the ability she had to reduce him to some sort of horny teenager.
She was looking at him, waiting for a response to what she’d said. Either she was the world’s greatest actress or she really was something he couldn’t understand—an unmercenary person. But then his cynical reflexes kicked back into gear... No matter what happened between them, she was made for life.
The insidious thought that she might prefer to avail herself of his wealth but not have to spend time with him was rejected outright. She wanted him. He knew that much. And she knew they would have to put on a united front.
A memory assailed him before he could push it away. His father, visiting him in Athens at his grandparents’ house when he’d been about eight. Nikos had asked why he couldn’t return to Paris with him, and his father had replied, ‘I have a new family there. You’re better here with Mama’s family. You want for nothing—don’t be greedy, boy.’
After he’d left Nikos had watched the empty driveway for a long time, with an ache in his chest and a tight throat, wondering what it was about him that made everyone want to push him away...
A chill wind skated over his skin and Nikos pushed the memory down deep. It was a long time since he’d thought of those days. He’d become expert at insulating himself against them with a lot of noise and activity to drown them out.
He folded his arms across his chest, noting how Maggie’s eyes darted to his biceps. A shard of lust went to his groin and he welcomed it as an antidote to that memory.
‘You’ve agreed to be my wife,’ he said. ‘We live together, not apart.’
Maggie expertly switched Daniel to the other breast without revealing any flesh. She said, ‘I’m just saying that we don’t need all this...’
‘It comes with the territory, I’m afraid. You’ll get used to it.’
She couldn’t not get used to it. It was human nature. He almost lamented the fact that he was going to corrupt her.
You started her corruption a year ago, pointed out a voice.
Maggie’s head was bent towards the baby, her hand cradling his head. Something about the image made an ache form in Nikos’s chest. He didn’t even realise he was so fixated until she lifted the baby up and placed him on her shoulder, patting his back.
Daniel emitted a loud burp and Nikos frowned. ‘Is he okay?’
Maggie smiled. ‘Totally normal. He needs to be winded after he feeds so that air doesn’t get trapped in his belly.’
He saw that Daniel had a little bald patch on the back of his head—presumably from where he lay on it. The baby simultaneously terrified him and intrigued him. He had no frame of reference as to how to feel about a baby, a child. His half-brothers were single, like him. Every time he looked at Daniel he felt a curious mix of terror, protectiveness, and some emotion he couldn’t name.
Maggie had done herself up again and stood up, Daniel cradled in her arms. She saw him looking at Daniel. ‘You should hold him,’ she said.
Nikos looked at her in horror. Hold him? This tiny vulnerable thing? He wanted to turn and run in the other direction but knew he was being ridiculous. It was a baby. Not a bomb.
The innate confidence that Nikos had taken for granted most of his life was suddenly in short supply. Maggie was looking at him with those big eyes, seeing his vacillation. He couldn’t not hold his baby—how hard could it be?
‘How do I...?’
Maggie came closer. Her scent tickled his nostrils, but not even that could distract him right now.
‘Here, crook your arm...make sure his head is supported.’
She placed Daniel onto his arm and his other hand came up instinctively, to hold him from the bottom. The first thing that impacted on him was the solid weight of his son. He hadn’t expected him to be so heavy.
Daniel looked up at him with steady, dark long-lashed eyes. Totally guileless. Totally trusting. And just like that, before he could stop it, Nikos felt a sharp pain near his heart, as if it was expanding and cracking apart. For the first time in his life he had the sense that he was utterly insignificant. That this baby was literally the most important thing in the world. And he would do anything to prevent any harm coming to a hair on his head.
Daniel moved then, and Nikos’s heart stopped as he instinctively tightened his hold on him. He realised how fragile he was. How easily he could be hurt. And Nikos felt fear.
The tendrils of that disturbing memory snaked around him again. Surely his father had had a moment like this? Holding Nikos in his arms? Feeling the same things? And yet he’d still abandoned his son. As had his mother.
It was as if Daniel could see all the way into his soul, to where Nikos had always felt so hollow. To where he’d been abandoned by his own parents because he hadn’t been good enough...lovable enough. How could he give this child something he’d never experienced himself?
Cold sweat pickled over his skin and Nikos handed Daniel back into Maggie’s safe arms.
He barely heard her say, ‘That was really good...you’re a natural...’
He had to get out now.
He left the room and went straight to the bath
room and locked himself inside. It took extreme effort and willpower not to be sick. He looked at himself in the mirror, but didn’t really notice how wild he looked, his skin pale and clammy.
Eventually the nausea subsided and his chest felt less tight. Theos. He couldn’t even hold his own baby without almost having a panic attack. And he hadn’t had one of those since he’d gone to boarding school, where they’d been beaten out of him by the older boys.
After a few minutes there was a light knock on the door.
‘Nikos? Are you okay?’
CHAPTER SEVEN
NIKOS’S HANDS TIGHTENED on the sink. He took a deep breath. The door opened behind him.
‘Nikos?’
He lifted his head, saw Maggie reflected behind him in the mirror. Her hair was a vivid splash of red and gold against the white marble of the bathroom. He turned around. He still felt shaky, as if a layer of skin had been peeled away.
Maggie came further in and Nikos wanted to tell her not to come any closer. Because he knew what he needed right now, to eclipse this pervading spread of vulnerability, and it was something only she could give him.
Even that unsettling revelation wasn’t enough to jolt him out of this mood, so he said nothing. He let her keep coming. Closer. Like Red Riding Hood approaching the big bad wolf.
She was frowning. ‘What was that, Nikos? You looked like you’d seen a ghost.’
‘Is Daniel okay?’ he asked.
She frowned again. ‘He’s fine. He’s already asleep. Nikos, you didn’t hurt him.’
He shook his head. ‘It wasn’t that... I just...’
‘What was it?’
Nikos put up a hand. ‘You shouldn’t come any closer.’
Maggie could feel the unmistakable electric charge in the atmosphere. Her body was reacting to it, making her want to move closer to Nikos even though the warned her not to.
She knew she should turn and leave—clearly he didn’t want her here—but there was something in his face, in his eyes, that told a different story.
He needed her.
She didn’t even know how she knew that—she just did.
She could only guess that holding his baby for the first time had been about as cataclysmic as it had been for her when Daniel had been born.
She tried again. ‘What just happened?’
He shook his head. ‘I can’t explain it... Theos, Maggie, just get out.’
Maggie’s heart spasmed at the raw tone in Nikos’s voice. ‘Why?’
‘Because if you don’t I’ll have to touch you.’
Her pulse tripped and started again at a faster rate. ‘Why would that be a bad thing?’
Nikos’s jaw clenched. ‘Because I don’t feel very gentle right now.’
His warning didn’t scare her—it excited her.
She told him without words that he could touch her if he wanted to by stepping right in front of him.
Nikos said warningly, ‘Maggie...’ But there was something unguarded in his expression. In his voice.
She lifted a hand and touched his jaw, felt the stubble tickling her palm. He caught her hand and turned it, pressing a kiss to the centre, flicking out his tongue. Her insides seized on a spasm of lust.
When he bent his head she was already reaching up, meeting him halfway. Mouths collided as her arms slid around his neck. She was arching her body even closer. Nothing could hold her back from this.
She was vaguely aware of Nikos lifting her and settling her onto a hard surface. The bathroom counter. It put their mouths on the same level. He tugged at her shirt. She heard something ping. A button? She didn’t care. She just wanted Nikos’s hands on her bare flesh.
He pushed off her shirt, opened her bra, cupped her breasts. Laved one peak with his tongue and then the other. They were so sensitive... Maggie gripped Nikos’s head, her whole body tingling.
His shirt was open—had she done that? She reached for him, pushing it off his wide shoulders. It fell to the ground and she half slipped, half slithered off the counter to reach for his trousers, undoing the belt, then the button, the zip, pulling them down. She was infused with a kind of confidence that would have shocked her if she’d been able to appreciate it.
His erection was long and thick. ‘Touch me, Maggie...’
She wrapped her hand around him and he pulsed against her fingers. She moved her hand up and down experimentally and heard Nikos hiss a breath through his teeth.
He reached for her now, opening her jeans, tugging them down, taking her underwear with them. Then he lifted her again, back onto the marble surface. Her hands were dislodged from his erection and they went to his chest, fingers tangling in the dark hair curling over his pectorals.
A very feminine part of her exulted in his virile masculinity. It roused something that felt very primal in her. He pushed her legs apart, coming between them, and at the same time captured her mouth again.
He put his hand on her, between her legs. She could feel how hot she was. How damp. She might have been embarrassed if she hadn’t felt so needy. She pushed against him, silently begging him to—
She gasped when he answered her silent plea, exploring her with his fingers, sinking them deep into her slick body.
But it wasn’t enough. She pulled back and reached for Nikos’s body again, wrapping her hand around him, drawing him to where she wanted him to fill her, to eclipse all the questions and fears in her head.
‘Please, Nikos...’
He took his hand away and put his arm around her back, nudging her legs even further apart. And then, with one powerful thrust, he was there...deep in the heart of her body...where she’d dreamt of him for a whole year.
Pleasure exploded outwards to his every extremity. This, Nikos thought as he plunged deep inside Maggie’s tight, slick body. This was what he needed. Over and over again.
And then she was quivering in his arms, both their bodies slick, their breath coming in short, sharp gasps, as with one final thrust Nikos’s thoughts went blank and were replaced with pure ecstasy. The kind of pleasure and transcendence that went above and beyond anything that could be synthetically made by humans. Pleasure in its purest form.
Maggie’s body convulsed powerfully around his, causing him to shudder against her as another tide of pleasure swept over him.
Maggie was barely aware of Nikos extricating himself, helping her off the marble counter, handing her her trousers. Her shirt was open, her bra undone. She felt...turned inside out. The whole thing had been fast and furious, and yet she was suffused with lingering pleasure and a sense of satisfaction that made her want to lie down and sleep for a hundred years.
She could sense the tension in Nikos. When she’d put on her underwear and jeans and pulled her shirt together she looked at him. He was grim-faced. The suspicion that he regretted what had just happened made her feel exposed. She’d all but thrown herself at him...lust overriding every other thought.
‘What is it?’ Her voice was croaky.
‘We didn’t use protection.’
Maggie struggled to make her brain work. She wasn’t unduly concerned. ‘I haven’t started my periods again yet... I won’t while I’m breastfeeding. It’s highly unlikely that we’re in danger.’
‘I was careless. I won’t be next time.’
Because he didn’t want children.
Reality slid back like a traitor as she remembered what had precipitated this explosive interlude.
She moved past him to the door. ‘I should check on Daniel.’
As she went back out into the apartment she realised the magnitude of what had just happened. They hadn’t even been in the apartment for an hour and they’d made love. Combusted.
Daniel was still fast asleep. Maggie went onto the terrace, feeling raw. She wasn’t in her right mind around Nikos. She couldn’t see straight...think str
aight.
She wasn’t sure what she’d hoped for when she’d put Daniel into Nikos’s arms—maybe, naively, some kind of idyllic bonding moment, with him weeping tears of emotion as he lifted his baby and proclaimed, My son!
She heard a sound behind her and turned around. Nikos was watching her. She felt vulnerable.
‘Maggie...that shouldn’t have—’
She put up a hand. ‘It’s okay—you don’t have to tell me it shouldn’t have happened. I know.’
He frowned and walked towards her. ‘I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say it shouldn’t have happened like that.’
Maggie knew she should let this go. She really didn’t want to hear Nikos articulating that he couldn’t bond with his son, but she had to know what she was dealing with.
‘Why did it happen? What was going on with you?’
For a long moment he said nothing. Then he moved to the wall, putting his hands on it. Maggie turned around to watch him. Nikos didn’t look at her.
‘I’ve never held a baby before. He’s so small and defenceless. But strong. I felt it...’
He turned around, a stark expression on his face.
‘I wasn’t loved, Maggie. By my parents or my grandparents. Even if my mother did love me I was too small to remember what that felt like.’
He shook his head.
‘I don’t want Daniel to experience what I did, but already I know he won’t. Because he has you and you love him. I just can’t promise to...to give him something I never experienced myself.’
Maggie took this in and tried to ignore the ache near her heart at the thought of Nikos as a lonely child. ‘But I know you felt something powerful just now when you held him. I saw it.’
‘I realised how vulnerable he is. And how much I want to protect him.’
Nikos looked tortured. A million miles from the careless charming playboy she’d first met. She wanted to tell him that wanting to protect his son was a form of love, but knew it would sound like a platitude.
