by Shae Banks
“Oh, my god…”
He tugged off my panties, and I bent my legs to help him remove them before he placed my legs on either side of his waist and pulled me down the bed. I could tell he was looking at me, studying the parts of me I never exposed. All it did was enhance my arousal.
“Let it out.”
I didn’t know what he meant, but the rounded edge of the massager ran over the hardened tips of my nipples and my internal muscles clenched. My body knew, even if my brain was uncertain, and my hips raised, legs tightening around his waist, begging him to bring it lower.
The buzzing sound raised in pitch, then he pressed it to my clit and held it firmly in place. It was too much. I couldn’t process the sensations and was desperate for some kind of release, for more, or less, or for it to just stop. Desperate for something to do with my hands, I reached for my breasts and squeezed, setting off a reaction I’d never experienced before. My pulse was loud in my ears, and it drowned out the sound of my voice as I came. He took the massager away immediately and lifted my hips. What came next was his name. I gasped it over and over when he closed his mouth over my clit and sucked hard, then released and licked, and massaged that most intimate part of me with his tongue. He kept me on the edge for what seemed like minutes as my body shook with the waves of pleasure he’d drawn from me.
With little warning, he moved over me and kissed my mouth, his cock sliding into me with no effort at all. He kissed, and he thrust, and I reached for his face as he ground into me. I was falling again, only this time I could touch him, and I curled my fingers into his shoulders as another wave of heat surged in my veins. I reveled in every contraction of my muscles around the hard length of him, and every answering movement of his hips as he climbed to his own climax. With one final thrust he came, the power of it almost painful as he buried his hand in my hair and held me against his heaving chest.
Behind the mask, I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent. Our scent. I contracted around him again and he withdrew, kissing me softly and pushing up the mask.
“Okay?”
I took a breath and grinned.
His eyes scanned my face for any sign of distress. “You’re sure?”
“I,” I pushed up from the bed and kissed him, “have never been better.”
There was relief in his smile. I hadn’t realized he had reservations. That he was concerned about me, and how I would handle what he wanted to do. “Okay.”
He kissed me again then lay at my side, offering his arm for me to rest my head on.
He held me all night, just like that. I listened to his soft breathing for a while after he fell asleep, enjoying the warmth of his body and smiling at the occasional twitch of his fingers where they rested along my waist. But I couldn’t keep the darker thoughts away. They crept in, and I eventually fell asleep wondering what was coming. Something had to be. I couldn’t be this happy without repercussions. There was always a trade-off. That was how my life worked. The good-bad balance never tipped to the good side for long. I worried I was on borrowed time with him.
Chapter Fifteen
It was Sunday night and Haylie lay on my sofa with her head in my lap. Our default set up when she and Tommo had a falling out. I was absentmindedly stroking her hair, watching the film, when out of nowhere she said, “This is a load of shit.”
I couldn’t have agreed more. “You chose it.”
“Yeah. Can’t seem to get anything right.”
I pressed my lips into a grim line and looked down at her. “I’m sorry.”
She pushed herself up and faced me, crossing her legs. As much as she tried to look angry, she was failing in her penguin onesie. “Fuck him. What did you do this weekend?”
I leaned over and picked up my mug, the unicorn hood of my very bright onesie falling over my head. “Not much. Dinner. Shopping… you know.”
“Oooh… did he splash the cash?”
I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I was a bad liar at the best of times, and she’d only ask to see any items I said he’d bought, regardless of their intimate nature.
I stalled for time, taking a big sip of my hot chocolate, but she was glaring at me, waiting for my reply. I lowered the mug and hugged it. “Sort of…”
“Where did he take you?”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “To a sex shop for a fuck load of toys. I didn’t know half of that shit existed, but the ones we’ve tried so far are…” I gave her a very cheesy grin. It said what I couldn’t. “He’s breaking me in gently, he said.”
Her expression was worth my discomfort. “You? What? How?”
I shrugged. “I was nervous. I faked it, and he called me out. I didn’t have a choice but to tell him the truth.”
She was looking at me like I was mad. “Truth being?”
“That I hadn’t had a good orgasm for years. And years. He’s made it his personal mission to make sure I get off.”
“But you don’t… You’ve never been one for… Fucking hell, Nat.”
“I can learn… apparently.”
“What, so he’s gone all Obi Wan on you?”
I burst out laughing. “That’s sick. He just likes… Well, that’s his business. Safe to say I have extra packing to do every other weekend.”
She was shaking her head. “You mean to tell me he hasn’t stayed here yet in… Shit, it’s been a month.”
I shrugged and looked around the room. “It’d be weird.”
She knew what I was getting at, and I knew she wouldn’t have it. “There isn’t a damn thing left in here from when you were married. I even helped you rip the kitchen out. That bed has never been shagged in. Not once. It’s been a complete waste of the three hours it took to build the damn thing.”
“Once…” I said weakly.
“That was shit. Shit sex doesn’t count,” she said, getting off the sofa and digging in her pocket for her cigarettes. “If you’re jumping into this whole new lifestyle you should get a few nights of it in your own bed.”
I stayed where I was while she went to the back door to smoke.
“When are you going to his actual house anyway?” she shouted.
I could smell the smoke drifting through the house, so I took my mug and closed the living room door behind me, joining her outside. “We haven’t gotten there yet. Right now, it’s hotel rooms and not rushing anything. I’m not traveling down to his place when he hasn’t even stayed in my house. We haven’t discussed any of this yet, anyway.”
She choked on cigarette smoke as she laughed. “But you can go out shopping for dildos and butt plugs?”
I resisted the urge to slam the door on her and lock her in the garden. “I’m going to bed.”
“I’ll be up in ten. Set your alarm, I sleep through mine.”
I went upstairs, wondering how that could possibly be a problem since her phone had the same alert tones mine did, and she could just change it. I wouldn’t ask. Those were never good questions to ask Haylie. By the time I’d cleaned my teeth and set my alarm, my thoughts turned back to Jase. I realized he hadn’t contacted me at all that evening, and he left just after lunch, so I turned off the bedroom light and sent a quick goodnight message as I climbed into bed.
His reply arrived at the same time as Haylie. She wandered round the bed and pushed the window open.
“Aww,” she cooed.
“What?”
She put on a soppy voice. “Love you. Love you too. Thanks for the rabbit, I love it.”
I put my phone down and turned my back to her as she got into my bed. “You’re a dickhead.”
She snuggled into my back, put her arm around my waist, and squeezed. “Yeah, but I’m your dickhead. Thanks for letting me stay. Even though I hate being the big spoon.”
“That’s too much. Seriously, how are you so warm?”
She clicked her tongue. “You’re still in that stupid onesie, genius.”
I groaned. “You’re naked, aren’t you?”
She planted a
sloppy kiss on my cheek and turned over. “Night.”
I got into work on time. Strangely, there was no sign of Sandra. I went to her desk to see if she’d left any notes for me but there was nothing, so I checked my email. I was replying to the first when Tony stuck his head out of his office door and said, “Nathalie, can I have a word?”
Chantal was looking at me over her monitor. Rachel, the other co-worker I hadn’t bothered to get to know, gave me a side glance as I got up from my chair and nodded my head. They watched me step inside, and Tony groaned as he closed the door behind me.
“Sit down, Nathalie.”
My stomach churned, making me feel sick. “What’s wrong?”
He sat in his chair opposite me and leaned his elbows on the desk. “There have been a few developments. Sandra was in an accident over the weekend and is expected to be off for the foreseeable future. Damage to her back, severe sciatic pain. She won’t be fit to sit at a desk. As the most qualified person in the office, I’d be incredibly grateful if you could take over her duties.”
I blinked. I was relieved it wasn’t about the inappropriate relationship I had with a company director, but I was shocked at the instant promotion thrown in with the news, and I needed a second to get my head together.
“You want me to do her job? I…”
“That isn’t all. I’m afraid I’m going to need you to train Chantal to do your job while you’re at it.”
My brows must have risen because he chuckled. I tried to school my features and said, “Sorry Tony, it’s just... Well, with me and… What about Rachel?”
He looked at his computer screen and clicked his mouse a couple of times. “She’s already doing much of what you do. That’s her job. You’re more qualified than even Sandra is, so I know you can meet the challenge. Truth be told, you’re the better candidate, she just applied and was set on before you sent in your resume.”
“I don’t know… I mean… You know about Jason and me, don’t you?”
He sat back, sighed, and looked at me. “He’s my oldest friend and business partner. Yes, I’m aware of your relationship with Jason. Does your personal life affect your performance at work?”
“No…”
“Are you likely to bring your personal life into work at any point? Considering the distance between the two offices, and that Jason works in various locations around the country most weeks?”
“No, but…”
“Have you disclosed information about your relationship with Jason to any of the staff here?”
The thought of telling that pair of harpies anything about my life, let alone about Jase, was absurd. “Absolutely not.”
“Then why are you thinking about this? I need a temporary business manager. You’re qualified to fill the position. You’ll receive the pay increase and benefits due while you fill the position. And should the position become available indefinitely, it will not be advertised. I can transfer all the necessary files from Sandra’s computer to yours from here. I’m afraid that makes you responsible for handling the payroll information for this office, emailing it to the Cambridge office on Thursday mornings by ten, but it shouldn’t be anything like your last position. Delegate to Rachel where necessary, Chantal will require some supervision.”
“Okay, can I just—”
“No is not an option.”
I frowned. “I was going to say thank you…”
He grinned at me, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “Thank you. You’re saving me a lot of work in finding a replacement for Sandra. I’ll let Jason know.”
I nodded and sat there for a moment. I needed to explain myself. I wasn’t sure how much Jason had told him, but I wanted to be clear. Just before I lost my nerve, I blurted, “I honestly didn’t know, you know.”
He gave me a reassuring smile. I liked that about him, that he always seemed to consider how his actions would be received. “I know. It was unfortunate that you discovered his involvement here the way you did, but I think in the long run, it’ll turn out to have been a blessing.”
I had no way of knowing just how much Jason had told him. “It isn’t serious.”
He smiled. “Perhaps not yet, but I know Jason. Can you tell Chantal I’d like a word, please?”
I nodded and stood up, that statement resonating in my ears. “Umm... tea?”
He looked relieved I’d offered because he never usually asked. “Oh, please. Two sugars.”
I walked out of there wondering what had just happened, stopping by Chantal’s desk and murmuring Tony’s request before heading into the staff room. I made tea for Tony, coffee for me, and knocked on the window facing into the office miming “brew?” to Rachel. She gave me a blank look and went back to whatever she was doing. I decided that was the last time I’d offer, and delivered Tony’s drink. He thanked me but didn’t look up from his computer, and I left him to it.
I could feel Chantal’s eyes on me as I passed her, whatever he’d said to her was clearly pissing her off. I sat down, glanced up at her, then over to Rachel before opening my emails. I didn’t give a shit what either of them thought. Poor Sandra was ill, and someone had to do her job. I was just helping Tony out.
There, at the top of my inbox, was one from J Locksley. I opened it.
Morning Beautiful,
Congratulations, T just told me. I’m out of the office but will call tonight.
Jase
I pressed my lips together, trying to hide the smile, and hit reply.
Mr. Locksley,
Thank you. It was a pleasant surprise.
Apologies, but it seems you have confused my personal and work email addresses. Please only contact me via previously agreed channels.
Many thanks,
N Johnson
Admin Manager
My phone vibrated on my desk, and I turned it over to see a message from Jason. Just an eye roll emoji, nothing more.
I managed not to laugh and turned the phone over, screen down, so I couldn’t be distracted by any more messages.
When lunch time arrived, I snatched it up and went straight into the staff room to eat my lunch and call Haylie to share my good news.
“No, Jase had nothing to do with it,” I said when she started asking stupid questions.
“Sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. You staying at mine again tonight? I’ll buy dinner to celebrate.”
“Could I?” she asked. “If he’s on one again I might kill him.”
I shook my head and smiled. Her turbulent relationship with her boyfriend didn’t last long in either direction. Their squabbles were soon forgotten, just as their times of apparent contentment with one another were short-lived. But that was them. They’d been the same way for a decade, and I was sure they wouldn’t be changing. It worked for them in its own weird way.
“Course you can. He won’t have gone anywhere else, he bloody lives there. Give it a couple of days, and it’ll all blow over. It’s not like I don’t need the company, is it?”
“Cheers. I’ll pick up the wine on the way back.”
“Just one bottle,” I warned. “I can’t come in hungover the day after I get a promotion.”
The door opened behind me, and I cut the call short. “Okay, I have to go, see you tonight. Bye.” Rachel closed the door quietly behind her, and I smiled. “Hiya.”
She looked me up and down and went to the fridge. “I hear you’ve taken Sandy’s job already.”
“No,” I responded, surprised. “I’m taking over from her while she’s off, just as Chantal is taking over from me.”
She shrugged, taking her lunch out and closing the door. “That’s not how Chantal told it.”
I wanted to say something to her about whispers spreading lies, but I thought better of it. “She’s mistaken. As soon as Sandra comes back, I’ll be back to basic admin.”
“Would have been nice to be considered,” she muttered, looking uncomfortable.
Then I understood. I was annoyed with Chantal for he
r insensitivity but masked it as I tried to explain. “I was only asked to do it because I have a managerial degree. I don’t really like working in management, found out a bit late, that’s why I took the position I did. It’s temporary. I only accepted so Tony wouldn’t have to bring in a temp. We don’t need that, we’ve only just got settled ourselves, haven’t we?” I gave what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
She looked a bit embarrassed. “Oh. It’s just how Chantal said… Never mind. I hope Sandy’s okay.”
It seemed odd hearing Rachel refer to her so informally, it reminded me that I wasn’t part of their team. Not really. “Yeah. Tony didn’t give me any details, but he sounded as though he expected her to be back.”
She nodded her head and sat down opposite me. “We should send her some flowers or something.”
“Yeah. I’ll sort that with Tony later. What are you thinking, ten each?”
She nodded and opened her lunch. “Salad for a change.”
I laughed and waved my tub at her. “Yep. I tell myself I like it and treat myself with a biscuit at three.”
The door opened again and two of the engineers walked in. I didn’t remember all of their names, they weren’t in the office that often, choosing to keep to the workshop, so I didn’t get to talk to them, but I recognized them.
“All right, love?” the older of the two asked as the younger nodded.
I smiled. Rachel frowned at me and dug into her lunch as I tried not to overhear their conversation.
“Don’t worry about it,” the older one said, I was sure he was called Paul. “It’s his tech, he’ll come and sort it.”
“Won’t he be pissed we can’t get it moving?” the other asked. I recognised him from the interviews. Matt.
