by Tanya Chris
“I guess you’re mad at me,” I began. He gave me an unimpressed look. “I mean, of course you’re mad at me. I almost got you fired.”
“There was no chance of my getting fired,” he said, sounding grumpy about it anyway. “I was following procedure.”
“But Prince Devin—”
“No one cares what that fuckwit thinks, not even his mother. I’m not mad at you for my own sake, Donovan. I’m mad because what might be a philosophical disagreement between the two of us is people’s actual lives to them. The only reason you didn’t royally fuck Carmen over today is because the law wouldn’t let you.”
“How can you say that? I told Head Alpha Marta that Carmen should be allowed to stay.”
“A lot of good that would’ve done if Marta had felt differently about it. Which you didn’t know when you asked Devin to set up that hearing. I could deal with your antiquated ideas about caste roles if they only affected me, but I can’t expose other people to risk just because I like having you around. Go back where you came from.”
“Tarek.” I reached for him, not knowing how to keep him. “Can’t you forgive me? Carmen did.”
“Carmen doesn’t have to wake up next to you.” He shook his head, sending his hair flying around him like corn silk in a harvest breeze. I reached out to touch it, but he was already gone. Guess he wasn’t my mate, after all.
“That didn’t go so well, huh?” Carmen and her boots. I wasn’t in the mood. My life had been turned upside down twice in the last few days. Once by Tarek’s acceptance and now again by his rejection. I couldn’t, as he’d so easily suggested, “go back where I came from,” because I would never again be that wolf. But I couldn’t stay in North Leland either. Not if he didn’t want me.
Tarek had headed for the courthouse, so I went in the opposite direction, determined to retrieve my stuff from his house before he got home from work so I wouldn’t have to face him again. Carmen, for some reason, trotted by my side.
“Great Mother, you move fast.”
“I didn’t ask you to come along. Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I have the day off. You know, in case I got deported.”
I’d already apologized. Twice. “And there’s nothing else you could be doing?”
“Not really. Macy went back to work, so I’m just kind of…”
I was definitely moving too fast for her, because she sounded breathless and smelled like she was hot. Even though I hadn’t asked her to come with me, I slowed my pace.
“Where are we going?” she asked when she’d caught her breath.
“To pick up my stuff from Tarek’s so I can get the hell out of this town.”
“Huh.”
That was it. Just huh. I stopped, hovering on the edge of market square before diving into the warren of streets that would take me to Tarek’s. “What?” I challenged.
“I didn’t say anything. Although. If I was going to say something…”
“Oh, you were going to say something.” This was an omega who knew absolutely nothing about keeping her mouth shut. “So just say it.”
“You’re chickening out. If Tarek’s your mate, then fight for him.”
I was not fucking chickening out. I’d tried and I’d failed. “He’s not my mate,” I said in simple, clear words that even a brat like Carmen ought to understand. “He could’ve been, but I waited too long, screwed up too bad. He’s not stuck with me, and he doesn’t want me.”
“Fuck him, then. He’s not the only alpha in the world.”
“He’s the only one for me.”
“Romantic,” Carmen said with a sarcastic toss of her red head. “But inaccurate. You came here thinking you were unique. You’ve learned you’re not. Well, neither is he. Other alphas will want you, and if you stay in North Leland, where they’re allowed to want you, you’ll find them.”
“I want Tarek.” Lars was beautiful, Shade was sexy, Prince Devin was big. And I didn’t give a fuck about any of them. I wanted Tarek. His face across the dinner table, whether we were eating deer steaks or orange sludge. His eyes in the moonlight, whether we were walking in human form or wrestling in wolf form. His body in my bed. To fuck and to hold. To be dominated by but also to snuggle.
“I want Tarek,” I repeated, only now admitting to myself how much. A lifetime of living in Southern Pack territory had made me slow to accept what I’d been lucky to find, but now that it was gone, I knew how much I’d lost.
“So if you can’t have Tarek, you’re going to leave?”
“Why would I stay?”
“You know why.”
I knew why. Here in North Leland, I could hang out with other people like me, people who knew me for who I was and accepted it. Even if I couldn’t have Tarek, I could have that.
“What would I do if I stayed?” I asked Carmen, though really I was asking myself.
“You’ll need a job for starters. What sort of skills do you have?”
“Catching wolves.” I raised a joking eyebrow, but I wasn’t joking. Those were the skills I had.
“Then let’s go see the sheriff.”
“Oh, for moon’s sake, can’t a guy mourn for a few days before being thrown back in the dating pool?” Maybe someday I’d get over Tarek, but today was not that day.
“I meant about a job, you loser. You’re not going back to bounty hunting.”
No, I wasn’t going back to bounty hunting, not even if I went home. I still didn’t think I’d done as much harm as Tarek imagined—those omegas I’d found really had needed to be removed from the spots they were in—but I hadn’t done as much good as I’d given myself credit for either. Because rather than help the omegas I’d rescued, I’d returned them to the prison they’d been born in. A comfier, cozier, more caring prison than where I’d found them, but a prison all the same.
I wanted to be free—free to make my own choices, whether it was learning to cook or sleeping with another alpha. Omegas deserved to be free too.
“I’m sorry,” I told Carmen one more time.
“Yeah, you said. Come on, let’s go talk to the sheriff. And then,” she said, merrily planning the rest of my life as we strolled back the way we’d come with her hand hooked through my arm, “we’ll head over to the Immigration Office. Oh, and I was thinking…”
Chapter 18
The sheriff hadn’t gotten any less hot, and his frown hadn’t gotten any less severe. Carmen was dreaming to think he’d hire me. But she did a song and dance that worked on him so well I could tell he didn’t swing my way. He liked omegas, especially ones who made goo-goo eyes at him. Carmen was really turning on the charm on my behalf. The little office reeked of omega pheromones, so overwhelming that the alpha in the cell in the corner started scratching at the bars, trying to break out to get at her.
“Settle down,” Quoitrel yelled at him. “This is exactly why you’re in there.”
The sheriff’s attitude toward Carmen was respectful, but those form-fitting breeches of his made it obvious the pheromones were having an effect on him too. My jeans weren’t as revealing, but then they didn’t have anything to reveal. My cock only had eyes for Tarek, and it definitely didn’t jump up and beg because it got a whiff of omega pheromones. I turned sideways, the better to show off how completely unaffected I was, as Quoitrel considered my work history, which did dovetail pretty nicely with a role in law enforcement. Lots of tracking and apprehending.
“As a deputy of the Northern Pack, you’d be responsible for upholding our laws,” he reminded me. “Not the laws of the Southern Pack.”
“Absolutely.”
“And you’d have to be a citizen.”
“The Immigration Office is my next stop.”
“You were just in here a couple of days ago asking me to arrest Carmen so you could cart her away.”
“I’m a new man.” I pointed to Carmen as my witness. “If I wanted her, I could just grab her.”
“As if,” Carmen said with a sniff. “I have claws too, you
know.”
Delicate claws, painted like cotton candy. But I kept my mouth shut about that.
“All right,” Quoitrel said with a sigh that suggested he was expecting to regret it. “Get your citizenship papers in order and come back. I’ll swear you in.”
Carmen high-fived me as we left the building, stumbling a little from the impact. And she thought she could fight me.
“You smell funny,” I told her. Even out in the fresh air, there was no mistaking it. She was emitting like crazy.
“I know.” She swooped up her hair and piled it on top of her head, twisting it into a bundle that somehow stayed up there even when she let go of it. She fanned herself with both hands. “Fuck.”
“Heat?”
“Not supposed to be, but sometimes stress can bring it on early.”
Because omegas needed to feel safe, protected. And I’d made her feel unsafe. So now her body was sending out signals that screamed “find me, save me, claim me,” and I wasn’t the only one receiving those signals. The square was crowded with people making their way home after work, and they turned as they passed us. The alphas in particular.
“Let me take you somewhere.” The square was no place for an omega in heat, but as I approached her, she stepped back—right into someone else. He inhaled rather than apologize and moved away slowly with more than one backward glance.
“Come on, Carmen.”
“Stay away from me.” She raised her hands. Her claws were out, the tips of them pearly pink, the rest of them meaning business.
“I’m just trying to help you.”
“You’re an alpha.” She took another step back. A female beta dodged her with a dirty look for Carmen and a worse look for me.
“You know me, Carmen.” But that was the problem, wasn’t it? I was a male alpha of the Southern Pack and a bounty hunter. A new friend, maybe, but also her worst enemy.
She turned, trotting now, almost running, tracking me over her shoulder as she headed away from the square where at least there were other wolves for protection. I went after her, but the faster I followed, the faster she ran.
“Carmen!” I threw my alpha voice into it, years of practice allowing me to hit the perfect note. She skidded to a stop on the edge of the woods she’d been headed for. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, squeezing just so, and she slumped—all resistance leaving her as she allowed me to scoop her up in my arms and carry her away.
I packed my things as slowly as I could, hoping Tarek would come home before I finished, but he didn’t. I wasn’t sure where I was sleeping tonight—Carmen’s heat emergency had interceded before we got to that part of her plan—but there was always the B&B.
I wound my way through the streets surrounding his house, heading for the B&B but not in a straight line, too many hours to kill before I could think of going to sleep. My name came to me on the wind—a shout from behind, far enough away that my ears barely registered it, but my wolf knew that voice. I waited, braced for anything.
“You must have left right before I got home,” he said when he caught up to me. “I could still smell you.”
Didn’t seem like proof of much. I’d be smelling him for the rest of my life.
“I heard what happened with Carmen. Thanks for not taking advantage of her heat.”
I rolled my eyes. Like I was ever going to take advantage of an omega’s heat. Heat smelled disgusting, like rotting leaves and burnt sugar. I had no idea what the appeal was.
“I mean, I know you weren’t going to fuck her.” He raised his eyebrows like it was a question. I shook my head. “But you could’ve used her condition to convince her to leave town with you.”
There’d never been any chance of that. Intellectually, I’d already come around to the idea that alphas didn’t have the right to control omegas just because we had the physical ability to do so. But seeing that fear in her eyes, knowing I’d put it there— I had some grievous sins to atone for.
“I’m not even leaving town myself,” I told him. “I’m staying in North Leland, whether you like it or not.”
His expression softened with that. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t like it.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Yeah, okay. Maybe I did. But even before I heard about what happened with Carmen, I regretted saying it.” He let out a deep exhalation that spoke of relief, then put a light hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you didn’t disappear, even though I asked you to.”
His words were hesitant, without the certainty of last night’s suggestion that we mate, but it was the most hopeful thing he’d said to me today. I took the opening.
“I know I’ll need to earn your trust again, but I can do it. I will.”
“The way you helped Carmen goes a long way in that direction. You’re really planning to stay?”
“I already got a job.” And had a tin star in my pocket to prove it. It read DEPUTY in old timey letters and was about as thick as a sheet of aluminum foil. It was cheap and showy and I was proud to own it, because it meant I’d have a chance to make up for the harm I’d done to the omegas of my old pack by taking care of the omegas in my new pack.
“And citizenship papers.” I showed him my registration form.
“Huh. I’ve never seen one of these in Ryker’s handwriting before. I didn’t even know he knew how to do this.”
“He figured it out eventually.”
After I brought Carmen to the Immigration Office so she’d have her mate for comfort, I offered to escort the two of them home—Macy being just a beta and Carmen being by that time raging with heat. Ryker wanted to do it himself, insisting that I couldn’t be trusted, which was ridiculous since I’d brought Carmen there in the first place. Maybe it was the heat pheromones in the air, but the two of us got a little aggressive on the subject, squabbling and posturing until we realized Macy and Carmen had already left, which we managed to laugh about. Eventually.
Then Ryker ruffled through Macy’s desk to find the forms. He signed his name to one and said I was good, though now that I thought about it, maybe I’d ask Macy to doublecheck that for me. I tucked the form back into my pocket and waited see if a piece of paper and a tin star were enough to make Tarek want me again. He scuffed at the ground beneath his feet.
“You don’t have to be sure right this minute,” I hedged. I would rather wait for a yes than get an immediate no. “If you don’t know how you feel.”
“I know how I feel about you. I’m just not sure how I feel about us.” He touched his chest, rubbing across it like he was probing at a wound. “I hate that you were willing to put Carmen at risk, but if I’m being honest, I hate that you were willing to put me at risk even more. I thought we were mates.”
That went right to my heart. I put my hand to my own chest, feeling the empty hollow there where I wanted him to be.
“All this time, you’ve been acting like I was nothing more than a temporary physical convenience, but I thought that was just bravado, that beneath the bravado you felt the same way about me that I do about you.”
“I did,” I promised him. “I do. I want to be your mate, if you’ll have me.”
“I want to, Donovan. But you have to be all-in with it.”
I knew what he needed, so I did it. Without even checking to see who was watching, I kissed him. Not a little peck either, but a big, obvious, alpha-on-alpha soul kiss, one block away from market square. Hell, I’d do it in the middle of market square—drag him right over to the stone monument in the center and show everyone how lucky I was.
“Claim me, Alpha.”
“You’ll let me bite you?”
I tilted my head to give him access and he laughed as his fangs scored lightly over the skin at the crook of my neck.
“Maybe not right this second. I want to do it at home, in our bed. With my knot in your ass.”
I shivered at the thought. “Sounds good,” I told him, then added ow because the safety pin glued to the back of my tin star was stabbing into m
y growing erection. Which I wasn’t completely opposed to.
“All the ow,” he agreed. “Say you’ll be mine.”
“I already am.”
“Then let’s go prove it.”
We did. In the closed-up cave of his bedroom—our bedroom—he sank his knot in my ass and his teeth in my neck and claimed me as irrevocably his. It took another few days to put together a mating ceremony, but that was only a formality. My body knew where I belonged.
Since we had the honor of being the first two alphas to officially mate, Head Alpha Marta performed the ceremony herself. We did it in the birch grove, walking hand in hand down a long avenue formed by tree trunks, swishing through the fallen leaves to where Marta waited for us. All our friends—who I now felt more confident calling friends—were there. Ryker and Gage. Shade and Lars. Macy and Carmen. Benjy and JT.
As we made our vows, the first snowflakes of the season fell, turning the forest around us white so that Tarek blended into it like a woodland fairy. He’d never been more beautiful, and I’d never been more sure.
Sometimes as I passed by an alpha like Cyril or the crown prince, I sensed disapproval. Judgement. All those things I’d feared for so long. But then I reminded myself that I was an alpha and alphas weren’t afraid, and I squared my shoulders and went on. Haters were gonna hate, as the humans said. It was finally my turn to love.
Epilogue
I left my bags at the front door and crept across the living room on silent feet, but my attempt at stealth failed. Tarek was awake when I got to the bedroom—his eyes glowing a molten silver and his hair fanned out across his pillow like he’d been painted in moonlight. I took a moment to drink in the sight of him before breaking the spell with words.
“I was trying not to wake you.”
“As if I didn’t smell you coming as soon as you hit North Leland.” He held his arm up and I ducked under it to cuddle with him beneath the blankets, glad to be back home. “If I’d been a little less lazy, I’d have come out to meet you.” He tucked my head under his chin and dropped a kiss on it. “How was the trip?”
