The Exit Strategy Bundle
Page 37
Anger cut deep lines across his face and Gabriel leaned partially across the table. “And you don’t believe me when I say the same about Nadia?”
“I’m worried that you’re letting your emotions drive you rather than your smart brain. I’m worried you’re working off old, out-of-date intel. That’s dangerous, and you know it.” Justin sat up in his chair and leaned across the table, getting in Gabriel’s face. “You’ve admitted already that your emotions are fucking with your judgment. My job is to make sure you stay alive and not do something you regret for the rest of your life.”
“You’re not my conscience.”
“I’ll be your fucking Jiminy Cricket if I have to, asshole. And you better be mine when I’m being a dumbass.”
The anger evaporated from Gabriel’s face and he straightened. “My what?”
“Jiminy Cricket. Singing and dancing cricket that’s Pinocchio’s conscience. Tries to keep the stupid puppet out of trouble.”
Gabriel shook his head and Justin could have sworn he heard him mutter something about insane Americans under his breath, but he no longer looked like he wanted to punch Justin’s lights out, which was a step in the right direction.
“I’ll shoot who you want me to shoot,” Justin started again, his voice low. “Go where you tell me to go. But I’d be a damn horrible boyfriend if I didn’t at least watch out for more than your back.”
Gabriel stared at his nearly empty wineglass. “You’re trying to save my soul.”
“Don’t give me any shit about not having one or not being worth saving. I know we’re not all that different. We’ve both lived lives that have meant doing things we don’t agree with, things we regret. But we’re building something new, and we’re building it on our terms.” He reached across the table and placed his hand over Gabriel’s, waiting until his lover finally lifted his eyes to meet Justin’s. “No more regrets.”
Gabriel stared at Justin for several seconds without speaking or blinking. He wasn’t even sure the man breathed. In those lost seconds, Justin knew one thing. He wanted to save his lover. Regardless of what came out of Gabriel’s mouth next, Justin knew that he was worth saving. That he’d lived a life in darkness long enough and that he deserved something good and loving.
Justin didn’t need to know the details of every act Gabriel had committed. Their lives were a frightening mirror of survival and mistakes: pain, anger, and sacrifice. There would be a time when Justin’s own past came back, demanding a reckoning, and he just hoped that Gabriel would find a way in his heart to stick by his side.
But until that day happened, Justin was going to make sure that Gabriel didn’t put any more dark marks on his battered soul.
“No more regrets,” Gabriel repeated softly. He turned his hand over under Justin’s and squeezed it.
“When was the last time you spoke to Nadia?”
“In person, fifteen years. We spoke once over the phone about ten years ago. Neither experiences were enjoyable. My father trained her. At the time that we last spoke, she was just as ambitious as him. When we spoke in person, she gave me a warning. She said that if she ever saw me again, she’d kill me. When we spoke on the phone, she told me to never return to Russia.”
“Pleasant,” Justin muttered.
“That is not a word anyone has ever used to describe Nadia. She’s cold, calculating, and vicious. If the government wasn’t drowning in men who believe a woman’s place was at home, raising children and bearing sons, then she would have gone for father’s role at the head of the SVR. She would have been a party leader.”
“But you were surprised by what Grunt told you.” Justin made it a statement, but he needed to hear Gabriel admit it.
“I’m sure Grunt got his information wrong about her. He’s missing something.”
“What if he’s not?”
“He is,” Gabriel said forcefully. He squeezed Justin’s hand and leaned close again. “She’s got to be playing a deeper game that Grunt isn’t seeing. She was groomed to be father’s successor even if Father would never allow it. Her entire life was dedicated to doing what was right for the family. From the boys she dated in school to what she studied to even the fucking man she married. Father picked him out and she just went along with it. No! She hasn’t changed. Nadia is the same. I know it.”
“It doesn’t happen often, but people change. Things happen in their lives. They change.”
“No.”
“Really?” Justin barked out a laugh. He pulled his hand free of Gabriel’s and sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest. “Shall I describe to you the asshole who arrived in Cincinnati last summer, looking down his nose at everyone, with an ‘I work alone’ attitude? The guy who was convinced that he could never work with anyone? The guy I’m sure was convinced he could never love another person?”
Gabriel groaned and sat back in his chair. “That’s different.”
“Bullshit.”
“You don’t know Nadia.”
“And I don’t think you know her anymore either. You admitted that you haven’t actually seen her in person in fifteen years. That’s a hell of a lot of time.”
“She hasn’t changed.”
Justin frowned at his companion. He’d been sure that no one could beat his stubborn streak, but Gabriel was giving him a run for his money. With a sigh, Justin shifted in his seat, moving to the edge while leaning his forearms against the edge of the table. “You could be right. She could be the same bitch that threatened your life all those years ago. If that’s true, then I won’t hesitate to put a couple in her brain and call it a day. I’ll sleep like a baby that night and every night after.”
“But…?”
“But I’m just wanting you to admit the slim possibility that she might have changed. That we play this cautiously.”
Slowly, Gabriel unclenched his jaw. “So, we don’t sit on a ridge with a sniper rifle and take her out from a quarter mile away.”
“That’s a good start,” Justin said when he really wanted to reach across and shake the stubborn ass. “Maybe we do a little reconnaissance. Watch her for a little bit. I just don’t want you to find out later that you were mistaken about her and then have regrets. She’s…your sister.”
Gabriel’s eyes dropped to his wineglass. He picked it up and quickly threw back the last of the red that had been in the glass as if to wash away the taste. “I appreciate your caution and concern for me. I truly do,” Gabriel said, his voice barely over a whisper. When he looked up at Justin, something had hardened in his gaze. “But Nadia was never the loving, sweet sister you would imagine. Not even when she was young. I have zero pleasant memories of her. We might be bound by blood, but we’ve never been more than strangers existing in the same house. Our mother might have once tried to establish a sibling bond between us, but it never worked. Nadia doted on our father. And since our father had neither love nor respect for me and our mother, neither did Nadia.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Let’s begin that reconnaissance,” Gabriel said, cutting off any tender words Justin might have wanted to say. And Justin couldn’t fault him for it. If their roles had been reversed, he wouldn’t have wanted to hear any words of sympathy. He would have just wanted to hear how they were going to get this shit done at last.
Chapter 11
Gabriel was a little disappointed that they weren’t going back to the hotel for sex, but Justin had managed to press his finger down on the one sore spot when it came to Nadia. He was like a fucking dentist with that damn metal hook on an exposed nerve. “Does this hurt?” Gabriel couldn’t help but snarl at him, “Yes, it hurts!”
Why couldn’t he have had a little sister who liked playing with dolls or pretending to be a princess or some other outdated female cliché? He didn’t mind her wanting to take over the world. It was the part where she wanted him dead.
Maybe she’d always wanted him dead. Just jealous that he’d been a firstborn son who would always be in her way.
But, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Justin had a good point. Grunt’s description of his sister had stuck with him, filling him with nagging doubts. Was it possible for her to change? She had been an immovable force pointed in one direction for so long. She had one goal—to be their father’s right hand. What could have possibly changed her?
Not her husband. The poor man died a mere six years into their marriage. Gabriel had heard through the grapevine that it had been a heart attack, but he wouldn’t put it past Nadia to do away with her own husband.
There was one thing that it could be, but he wasn’t sure, and he’d not even brought up the possibility to Justin. That was a conversation he was not looking forward to having.
They drove across the island mostly in silence. The island was incredibly hilly with low scrub grass and bushes. They didn’t see many trees and nothing that looked to be dense forestland. Here and there they would pass clusters of white boxy homes with sparkling blue pools amid the brown of the surrounding land.
The sun was setting low on the horizon, lengthening shadows and painting the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink along the swirl of clouds. It was like the world was falling away, and they were the only two people left.
Gabriel wanted to reach across the console and take Justin’s hand, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. There was still too much tension hanging in the air from their conversation at the restaurant. The little nagging voice in his brain reminded him that this had been a bad idea from the start. He’d loved having Justin along to watch his back and plot his revenge, but at the end of the day, revenge was a private matter. That little voice had warned him that there would be a point where Justin wouldn’t approve of his plan and they’d argue.
Eventually, Justin would walk away from him because he couldn’t accept who Gabriel was. Of course, that was assuming that the Krestyanov family didn’t kill him first.
It would have been better if Gabriel had given Justin the slip in Germany like he did in London in the fall. Completed his hunt alone.
And then what?
Giving Justin the slip in Germany wouldn’t have been about protecting him. It would have been about hiding the truth from him.
Was that the kind of relationship he wanted?
There were so many things he didn’t know about Justin, and it drove him a little insane. He wanted to know everything. He wanted only the truth between them since so much of their lives were based on lies.
But what if Justin couldn’t accept the truth?
That was the crux of the problem.
He was terrified that Justin would peel away all his façades and a find the horrible person he truly was underneath it all. And then he would walk away.
It would kill him. Losing Justin would kill him.
“Why the hell are relationships so damn hard?” Gabriel said, breaking the silence of the car.
Justin’s low chuckle bumped against him and he looked over to find Justin smiling at him. “That’s what you’ve been stewing on for the past fifteen minutes? Relationships?”
“Well, ours specifically. I haven’t been worrying about random people.”
“That’s good.” He shifted in his seat, turning to prop his shoulder against the car door. “Anything specific on your mind?”
“You leaving me because you can’t accept who I am.”
Justin scrubbed a hand through this hair and stayed silent for a minute. Gabriel was both grateful that he was driving since he wouldn’t have to meet Justin’s eyes and hated it that he couldn’t closely watch the man’s body language. He waited, breath held, for his response.
“We’re both new to this relationship thing, but I can tell you that I’m not going to walk away and never speak to you again just because I get pissed. I’m going to at least spend some time shouting at you. And you’re going to shout back at me.”
“Sounds likely,” Gabriel murmured, some of the tension easing from where it was tightly clutching his chest.
“And hopefully, we work things out from there. We’re going to find our way through this.”
“Even if I must kill someone you don’t believe deserves to die?”
Justin’s long, heavy sigh added the weight back to his chest. Gabriel wasn’t sure he wanted to listen to Justin’s response.
“I know we’ve both probably done things that the other wouldn’t approve of. We have to find a way to accept those things. And if we can’t…I guess we have to talk about it.”
“Like my sister.”
“I just want to make sure you’re acting on good information. I’m sorry you had a shit relationship with your sister when you were younger. Yeah, based on what you told me, it is a smart thing to get rid of her. You kill Nicolai and leave her alive, she’s gonna come after your sexy ass and take me out as well.” Justin paused and Gabriel could see him lick his lips out of the corner of his eye. “But what if things have changed? What if she’s changed? What if she wants out as badly as you do? You kill her and find out later that she regretted everything…it’s going to eat you alive. It will kill you like a poison burning through your gut.”
Gabriel allowed himself a small smile. “You’re determined to save me…even from myself.”
“Fuck that. I’m saving you for me.”
Gabriel could accept that. He slowed up the car as they entered the small seaside town. There were a number of people strolling along the street, enjoying the early evening. Restaurants were growing busy with customers. Children ran about, laughing and playing. The waves rolled in slowly and gently in the little bay while small boats bobbed along the docks and out in the water. Lights popped in the houses rising up the hill. The town had a quiet, hidden quality, as if it had sneaked away from the rest of the world and existed outside the usual drama and chaos.
It seemed a strange choice for Nadia. The sister he remembered loved to be in the middle of the action. She loved the rush of life. She wanted to be the center of attention, the puppet master controlling all the actors in front of her. Why would she choose a place where she would essentially become anonymous?
At the end of town, they turned up a hill and started weaving their way through the small residential neighborhood. The homes all looked roughly the same. Two-story boxes painted white. Their main differentiation was the color of the shutters and doors. Some were painted a light blue, while others were painted red.
Gabriel wasn’t sure which house was hers, but he was positive that they needed to linger in the town for only a few days. They’d spot her eventually. It wasn’t the best plan, but he wasn’t leaving Mykonos until he’d dealt with Nadia. And finding her on the island was going to be far easier than dealing with her in Russia.
Justin leaned forward in his seat and pointed to a distant ridge over the town. “Up there. It will give us a good view of the town and houses. We can start our scouting there.”
Gabriel nodded and turned the car around, searching for the nearest road that would put them close to the ridge. It didn’t look like there were any roads that would take them straight up the hill, but they could take a little hike. After their filling lunch, Gabriel would appreciate being able to finally stretch his legs. He was feeling mostly healed from his encounter with his cousin in Berlin and he was starting to worry that he was getting out of shape. It had been at least three weeks since he’d seen the inside of a gym. He wasn’t even running like he used to.
He hated to admit it, but he was missing his old routine: Get up early in the morning. Water and fruit. Then a brisk workout before coffee and breakfast. Research and return any necessary emails to Marilyn. Then an afternoon run. Lunch. Kill a target. Dinner and a book.
Of course, Justin was going to force him to change his routine up, but for Justin, he welcomed it.
They parke
d the car on the side of the road. Justin got out and opened the trunk. Gabriel was just reaching him when he saw the man pull the scope off the sniper rifle they’d packed. Justin had picked up a sizeable number of weapons apparently during his stop in Amsterdam, forcing them to charter a private plane to Mykonos so they could bring all their equipment along. Not that Gabriel thought they needed it, but he was grateful for the options when it came to dealing with his sister.
He smirked at Gabriel as he shoved the scope into his pocket and shut the trunk lid.
“You just think you’re so slick, don’t you?” Gabriel teased.
“Oh, G Love…I think I’ve proved more than once that I’m super slick.”
Gabriel made a skeptical sound. “That was when you were in your own backyard with all your toys and gadgets. We’re on the road, super assassin. Your toys are limited, and you’re relying solely on your wits.”
He walked around Justin and started to lead the way up the hill. The soil crumbled and slipped under his boots, making it difficult to get his footing. All the same, he was glad they’d opted for jeans and T-shirts before leaving the hotel in order to blend in with the other tourists.
Naturally, Justin moved around him, taking the lead with a grin tossed back at Gabriel. Not that he was complaining. Justin in the lead meant that he got to enjoy the way the denim hugged his tight ass. There were definite perks to having Justin along on this adventure, more than simply having someone to guard his back.
At the top of the hill, Justin stood resting with his legs braced apart and thumb hooked through one of the empty belt loops of his pants. “You still struggling from Berlin?”
“No, you ass. I’m fine,” Gabriel grumbled as he joined him at the top of the hill, wishing his breathing wasn’t quite so heavy.
“I think I’m going to need to conduct a thorough exam of your body to make sure you really have recovered when we get back to the hotel.”