“Why don’t you go take a shower?” he said irritably.
“Fine.” Leaving her book where it lay, Leah stomped into the bedroom, grabbed clean clothes and went straight to the bathroom without so much as looking in his direction.
The fixtures were all chipped and stained, but they worked. At least she’d be bored and clean.
Or scared for her life and clean.
She was sitting on the toilet to take off her shoes and socks and tug her shirt over her head when the bathroom door opened again, almost bumping her knees in the tight space. Startled, she looked up at Spencer.
He crowded her even more to allow him to shut the door behind himself. Then he squeezed past her and turned on the shower.
“What...?” she whispered.
He crouched in front of her. For a second she fixated on the power of his forearms before being distracted by the long muscles in his thighs outlined with the camouflage fabric pulled tight. Then she lifted her gaze to meet his eyes.
“I thought we should talk,” he said in a low voice. “I worried about you all day.”
“I really am fine. There was only one weird moment.” She told him about Joe and Carson coming in, the glance Joe exchanged with Tim and then what Tim had said.
“That son of a bitch threatened you.”
“It wasn’t that overt. I mean, he didn’t say, ‘I’ll hurt you.’ It was more like, ‘Next time I won’t stop Joe.’”
“I still want to shove his teeth down his throat.” Spencer rolled his shoulders. “Damn. Saturday I’ll be gone part of the day again.”
A greasy ball lodged in her stomach. “Why?”
“Don’t know for sure. Higgs asked me to accompany him for a ‘meet.’”
“To buy weapons?”
“That’s what I think.”
The pale silver of his eyes was almost like glass, except not so transparent. Quartz crystal. Shimmering, clear, but still hiding the secrets inside.
“That was one of your goals, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “But I’m asking a lot of you.”
What if she said, Too much? Could she persuade him to take her and leave? Leah didn’t know for sure, but thought he might choose her if she begged.
It took her only a moment to steady herself. “What you’re doing is important. If all goes well, you’ll prevent a cataclysmic attack on this country.” If her voice shook a little, well, who could blame her? “It’s my country, too. What’s more, anybody stealing weapons bought with my and every other American’s tax dollars needs to be locked up for good.”
She’d swear that was pride in his eyes. He lifted a hand to her face, gently cupped the injured cheek and said, “You’re an amazing woman, Leah Keaton.”
Her tremulous smile probably didn’t enhance the kick-butt speech, but it was a smile. “And don’t I know it.”
Now he grinned openly. “Pretty bra, too.”
“What?” She looked down at herself and felt her face heat. The vivid green satin probably made her skin look pasty, but she liked the color.
If she wasn’t mistaken, his gaze lingered on the swell of her breasts above the fabric, not the bra. He was so close, his hand still holding her jaw, his face nearly level with hers. If she scooted forward...
His pale eyes speared hers. “I won’t do that to you.” Low, his voice was even grittier than usual.
“Even if I want you to?”
“Even if. You know the balance of power thing. It’s swinging heavily in my favor right now.”
Leah couldn’t deny that was true. But... “I know what I want.”
He rose to his feet, letting her see his arousal, but his gaze never left hers. “I want, too,” he said quietly. “But we can wait.”
She managed a nod, and he left the bathroom.
Did they have enough future to allow for some distant, ideal day? she asked herself. But...he was right. Of course he was. What if they triumphed and made it out of here and then she realized she didn’t really like him that well? Mightn’t she question whether she’d used her body as bribery so he’d keep her at the top of his priority list?
And no, she didn’t think he was that man, or she was that woman.
Maybe what she needed to do was believe in him and herself. Believe they’d make it.
She could do that...but she was more aroused than she could ever remember being just from a touch, an exchange of looks.
* * *
NOW THAT SPENCER knew Leah was willing, he didn’t know if he could survive many more nights with full-body contact but him blocked from being able to make a single move. He seriously considered sleeping on the futon, but that would be as torturous in a different way. He still had the original issues, too: he didn’t want to be seen sleeping separately from her, and he didn’t like the idea of her alone, a room away from him.
Her cheeks were pink when they met in the bedroom, but she wore a long T-shirt over panties that did a number on his libido, slipped into bed and turned her back on him without saying anything.
Spencer swore silently, set his gun within easy reach and stripped down to his own boxers and T-shirt. He turned his back on her, too.
It was not a good night. Far as he could tell, Leah slept better than he did. He couldn’t get comfortable, couldn’t control his body’s reaction to having hers pressed against him, and when he wasn’t brooding about why he hadn’t taken her up on her offer, he worried about Saturday.
If Tim’s suggestion to her meant what Spencer thought it might, she could be in big trouble. Individually, they were all afraid of him, and rightly so. But what if, when he returned, he wouldn’t be facing a single man, but several? Would Higgs intervene, or let them tear him up? If he did step in, would the simmer of resentment boil over?
Did Higgs know a couple of the guys were cocky enough to think they could take his place?
Spencer knew he had allies, guys that were glad he could hold the vicious ones in check. Joe Osenbrock, Tim Fuller, TJ Galt and Arne Larson weren’t popular with the rank and file. The question was, how many of the others would have the will and guts to stand up with him?
Who should he talk to before he left Saturday with Higgs? Or was there someplace he could stash her before he left? She probably knew this mountainside better than any of them did. She might have an idea.
But then, could he afford the fallout from her temporary disappearance?
Spencer groaned and rolled over again.
One day, a lot of decisions to make—and another night tucked into bed beside Leah.
* * *
THE FOLLOWING EVENING, as they left the lodge after dinner, he said curtly, “We’re taking a walk.” Well aware several men were within earshot, Spencer ignored them. Beside him, Leah ducked her head and nodded.
He strolled down the line of cabins, Leah keeping up. A single sidelong glance let him see her bewilderment.
“What will they think about us doing this?”
He used an obscenity to tell her how little he cared. He should care; he and Leah had been so careful to fly under the radar. Somehow, today, he’d met his breaking point.
Leah looked alarmed but was smart enough to say nothing.
When they reached the meadow of wildflowers, he pointed at one with deep pink, almost bell-shaped flowers. “You know that one?”
“Um...a penstemon, I think. There are clumps of hybrid penstemons in my mother’s garden.”
Last time they were here, he hadn’t noticed the faint trace of a path. Left from the days when the resort would have been filled with guests? He followed it toward the lake.
“What did you want to tell me?” Leah asked.
He appreciated her directness.
“I want to talk about tomorrow, but I needed to get away,” he admitted.
“Oh. Me
, too.”
“Everything okay today?”
“Sure. It was a relief having Dirk there again.”
“You’re getting Del tomorrow. I don’t think he’ll bother you.”
She didn’t say anything, but Spencer knew what she was thinking. Would Del stand up to any of the dangerous men on her behalf? Why would he?
Spencer asked himself again if he was doing the right thing. He didn’t know any of the potential victims of the planned attack. He knew, liked, admired, wanted Leah. She was the first woman in years who’d gotten to him like this, and he’d only known her for a matter of days. Maybe it was her spirit, relentless in the face of adversity. Or her courage, facing up to dangerous men while suppressing her fears. She’d sure as hell complicated his life. If they had the chance, he could see being happy to have her go right on doing just that.
“Once you sell this place, what’ll you do with the money?” he asked, going for the positive. The question was out of the blue, but he was hungry for a few minutes of normalcy. At least, what he vaguely remembered as normalcy.
Obviously surprised, Leah stayed quiet for a minute. Then she said, “I want to go back to school to become a veterinarian. I’d have done that instead of training as a vet tech, except the idea of graduating with such a massive load of debt is really daunting. I’m pretty sure I have the grades and now the experience to be accepted. The money...would make a difference.”
“Your parents can’t help?”
“I don’t want to ask. Mom’s a teacher and Dad works for our local utility district. They make a decent living, but they’re not rich. They put me through college, and now they should be saving for retirement.”
“You intend to specialize as a veterinarian?”
“I don’t know. Surgery fascinates me, and I think I’d get bored if I had to do spays and neuters all day, even if they’re important.” She shrugged. “One step at a time.”
Unfortunately, her next step wouldn’t be talking to a real estate agent or filling out graduate school applications.
He said gruffly, “I never asked whether you have a boyfriend.”
Leah shook her head. “It’s been a while. What about you? I suppose it’s hard, given your job.”
He fixed his gaze on the mountain, gleaming white, somehow pure. “Next to impossible.”
“I don’t believe that,” she said stoutly. When he didn’t say more, she asked, “Was becoming an FBI agent always your dream?”
Dream? Spencer wasn’t sure he’d ever had one, the way she meant. Given his lousy mood, that struck him as sad.
He didn’t love talking about himself, but he owed her. No, he corrected himself immediately; if he had any thought of pursuing these unexpected feelings for her, he had to open up, at least partway.
“My goal was to get away from home.” He hoped she couldn’t hear the sadness. “My father and I butted heads for as long as I can remember. I think he loved me—loves me—but his way of showing it was by being a harsh disciplinarian. I joined the army two days after my high school graduation. Barely looked back.”
They’d reached the lake now, the surface of the water utterly still, mirroring the rich blue of the sky. Some plants that probably thrived in wetter conditions grew on the shores, but he didn’t ask about them.
“I spent ten years in the army.” Too much of it killing people. “Got my college degree along the way. A friend who’d left earlier suggested I apply to the FBI, too. I was feeling less sure that the US military was accomplishing anything. I thought I might do more coming at problems from a different direction.”
“Isn’t one of their biggest divisions counterterrorism?”
“Yeah, I’m in domestic counterterrorism. Unfortunately, we never have the chance to get bored.”
“You said you’ve done this before.”
“Gone undercover? Oh, yeah. I’m good at it.” His struggles this time all had to do with her.
“I can’t imagine living under that kind of stress.”
“Right now you are,” he pointed out.
She made a face. “That’s why I know I wouldn’t like it long-term.”
“This may be my last time,” he heard himself say. “I’ve almost forgotten who I am.”
Ignoring her role, Leah reached for his hand and squeezed.
He turned his body to block anybody watching through binoculars from seeing the physical contact. When she started to withdraw her hand, he held on.
Her cheeks turned pink, but she didn’t look away from him. “To me, you’re a hero. That’s a good place to start.”
Spencer shook his head. “Undercover, you get your hands dirty. It’s too easy to forget the moral standards you began with. That’s one reason—” He broke off. “If I’m ever going to have a life outside the bureau, I figure I ought to get on with it. I’m thirty-seven.”
They had reached the edge of the forest on the far side of the lake. His gaze strayed to shadowy coves between tall fir and cedar trees. It wouldn’t be such a sin to draw her out of sight and kiss her, would it? If things went south tomorrow... But he refused to think like that. No reason to believe anyone would be stupid enough to attack Leah. He’d made himself clear enough. And what he’d told her last night would hold true until they got free of this bunch. What if she kissed him back mostly because right now she needed him desperately?
Shoring up the walls of his reserve, he released her hand but moved to face her. “Let’s talk about tomorrow,” he said. “I’d rather you follow your usual routine, but do you know anyplace you could hide if necessary?”
“Now I wish I hadn’t given away the hidey-holes between the closets.”
He wished she hadn’t, either. “No other secret passages in the lodge?”
Leah shook her head. “If I could get as far as the tree line...”
“That would work only if you had a serious head start. Otherwise, they’d be on you like a pack of wolves.”
Seeing her already creamy white skin blanch, he was sorry he’d been so blunt, but she needed to know what she faced.
He’d ruled out giving her his backup gun. It would be a disaster if anyone noticed her carrying. He’d also had to consider whether, in a struggle, she could bring herself to pull the trigger quick enough, or at all. However courageous, Leah was at heart a gentle woman, if he was reading her right. Even if she did manage to shoot and kill or at least disable her assailant, then what would happen? He didn’t have a suppressor fitted to either of his handguns. The sound of a shot in the vicinity of the lodge versus at the range would bring everyone running.
“Chances are good I’ll only be gone for a few hours. Nobody has said anything, so I don’t think the rest know Higgs and I are going anywhere tomorrow. I’d try to get you the key to my SUV, but I can’t think how to check it out for sabotage without drawing notice.”
She was shaking her head even as he spoke. “Even if I could take off...what would happen to you when you get back?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
Her expression turned mutinous. “I’m not going to just run away and desert you.”
“Leah.” Unable to help himself, he took her hand again. “If you ever see an opportunity—a good one—take it. Let me worry about myself. You got that?”
She searched his eyes in that way she did, undoubtedly seeing more than he wanted her to. Finally, she said, “I’ll think about it.”
Always stubborn.
“You do that,” he murmured, and turned away to resume their walk.
Chapter Nine
“Turn in here.” Higgs leaned forward, the action pulling against his seat belt. “Go around behind the building.”
The long, ramshackle log structure along the old highway might once have been a restaurant or tavern. “What’s this place?” Spencer asked as he braked and turned into a weedy gravel l
ot.
“Somebody told me it was a visitor’s center back in the fifties or sixties. Then a restaurant and gift shop.” The older man shrugged. “Not sure what else. Not a lot of traffic up this way anymore.”
The reason this meeting had been set for here.
Given how little traffic he’d seen in miles, he was surprised the highway was maintained this well. About all he’d seen in ten miles or more was beautiful forest, a waterfall plunging off a cliff only feet from the road and moss and ferns everywhere. Pale, lacy lichen draped like tinsel over branches. When they first set off, mist had clung in dips of the road, blurring the outlines of the evergreens. Half an hour ago they’d risen above it.
Spencer tensed as he drove around the building and saw a pickup already here, parked facing out. It was a dually built for especially heavy loads; black plastic tarps crisscrossed with cord hid whatever was being hauled in the full bed.
“Park so we can load easily,” the colonel suggested.
As he backed in, two men climbed out of the pickup, slamming their doors. Even before he saw faces, he noted both men were armed. Of course Spencer was, too, and he felt sure Higgs was, as well.
Turning off the engine and setting the emergency brake, he was slower getting out than Higgs was. He and the older of the two men were already shaking hands when Spencer walked forward.
He knew that face. It set off alarms in him, even if a name to go with it didn’t come to him immediately. He just needed to figure out the context where he’d seen the guy before—or his photograph.
Photograph, he decided. In his line of work, he studied thousands. Soon, he’d have a name to go with that face.
The high and tight haircut on the younger man looked military. His scrutiny suggested he, too, was trying to fit Spencer’s face into a context. The older guy’s was more buzz-cut, graying like Higgs’s hair. Same generation, sure as hell their paths had crossed during their military careers. Both, maybe, getting more and more dissatisfied with the direction their country was going as gay marriage became approved, a black man was elected president of the United States and now women wearing hijabs had been elected to congress.
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