by Dan Knight
~~~~~~
“Inspector Lestrayed?” an orderly asked.
Gumshoe rose to his feet. “That’s me, son.”
“Doctor Norman told me to take you to the morgue,” said the orderly. “She’s gotten our pathologist out of bed. He’s prepping right now.”
“Come along, gentlemen,” said the Inspector.
Shotgun picked up his satchel. “For once, I’m glad I’m not a doctor.”
The orderly led them through the hospital’s labyrinth of corridors. “You can watch the autopsies from the pathology lab’s observation room.”
“Are all police officers ghouls?” asked Shotgun.
“No,” said Gumshoe, “but a sense of macabre humor helps.”
They passed the coroner’s office and entered the pathology lab. They turned into an auditorium. Leather seats faced a wall vid. The orderly stopped at a small podium in the middle of the front row of seats and tapped the tablet. The vid lit up and displayed an autopsy room. A mole boy lay on a table, and a sheet covered him.
“I don’t think I can handle this,” said Shotgun.
“Wait outside Shotgun,” said Gumshoe. “Normally we don’t watch these. I’ve only seen one once, and that was during a forensic science class. We’re desperate though.”
“Shotgun,” said Jack, “go get some more shut-eye. I’ll join you if we don’t learn anything new from the first autopsy.” Shotgun started towards the exit when the door opened.
Wiggles walked in and stopped Shotgun.
“Gentlemen, we’ve got a problem,” Wiggles tapped the controls on the podium. The chilling image of the boy lying on the autopsy table dissolved. “Willoughby called me. Agatha Miner is making an announcement about the Beslan children.”
The Proconsul of Moab appeared on the vid. She spoke in a professional monotone. “And the victims of this horrendous act were taken to Moab Charity where through the diligence and courageous action of the staff and physicians, the survivors have been restored.”
Agatha’s bangs glittered in the spotlights. On her forehead was an emerald spot.
Was the Proconsul chipped? Thinking hard, Jack tried to recall.
“Unfortunately, we have received grave news,” Agatha continued. “Only a few hours ago, thirteen orphans kidnapped from Beslan were found dead in the port of Moab.” She paused.
“Just yesterday, these boys were in school with their friends awaiting transportation to evacuate Moab. They were innocent school boys who were no threat to anyone.” Agatha paused dramatically and sucked in a deep breath.
“Before now, the police were unable to stop these crimes. But now, the victims have identified the perpetrator of this heinous crime. Now we know the name of the perpetrator and his accomplice.” Agatha waved at the crowd melodramatically.
Startled, Gumshoe popped out of his chair. “Freeze that Wig.”
Wiggles froze the transmission, “What old man?”
“None of us have spoken to the Proconsul, have we?” Gumshoe looked around the room. Jack shook his head, and Shotgun shrugged.
“You haven’t spoken to anyone?” Gumshoe asked.
“Only Willoughby,” said Wiggles, “I told him all the victims said it was the Black Dwarf.”
“Let’s hear what she has to say,” said Jack, “maybe she’s just describing the three dwarves.”
Wiggles tapped the controls, and the broadcast resumed.
“Molemen, Nodlons, and Terrans, hear me,” said Agatha. “The perpetrator of this horrific crime is a Martian agent. He is a magician who walked into the Beslan School under the auspices of his good name. The fiend travels with a black dwarf who serves him and aids him in his nefarious plans.”
“What is she talking about?” blurted Jack. “None of the witnesses heard the Black Dwarf say his name. No one knows his name, and he has two sidekicks.”
“There,” said the Proconsul, “this agent of Mars kidnapped thirteen mole orphans. He attempted to poison the children with gas to destroy all of the witnesses to his crimes. The heroic action of the school’s security guard spoiled his plan.” Again, she paused.
A commotion stirred the reporters. They asked questions, and muttered to each other.
The Proconsul waved and silenced the reporters. “This villain, this blackguard, this devil, this miscreant is an unrepentant scoundrel who traveled to Mars where he was friendly with their people. He will never turn himself in, and he will never confess to his crimes. The criminal is none other than Cretaceous Clay.”
Jack and Shotgun exchanged glances with the homicide detectives.
“Clay’s accomplice is Patrick Morgan. Morgan is a known hacker. He goes by the alias, Sidekick. I am hereby ordering all police, law enforcement officers, and citizens to arrest Cretaceous Clay and Morgan on sight. They must be considered armed and dangerous. You must report him on the emergency channel if you have no weapons to defend yourself. If he offers the least resistance, kill the monster.”
“Is she crazy?” Shotgun asked. “She didn’t even get my nickname right!”
Stunned, Jack fell into one of the leather chairs, “What are we going to do?”
Wiggles stabbed the controls and muted the Proconsul.
Jack popped out of his chair, and faced Wiggles. “Constable, we were with Gumshoe all day! We couldn’t possibly have kidnapped the boys or murdered them without cloning ourselves.”
Whistling, Gumshoe shoved his fedora back, “Wiggles, this is a frame job. Did Willoughby have a clue?”
“No, I don’t think so,” said Wiggles, “All Willoughby told me was this would affect the case. The commissioner got the word from City Hall so he could watch, and he called Willoughby. The Captain passed it on to me. I’m sure he had no idea what it was about.”
“None of the victims identified Jack or Shotgun,” said Gumshoe. “No one told her Jack was responsible. None of the victims saw Jack until he was interviewing them.”
“What about that pinhead from the Octagon?” Shotgun asked, “Chief Ferrell, the guy who took us off the Zodiac case.”
“No,” said Gumshoe. “I can’t believe he’d stoop to a lie that low.”
“Principal Chapel spoke to the Black Dwarf,” said Wiggles. “She was certain it wasn’t Jack.”
“Wiggles,” said Jack, “does the Proconsul have a chip?” He pointed at the vid. “She didn’t have a chip two days ago, did she?”
Wiggles studied the vid screen, and his eyes widened. He tapped the controls, and he zoomed in on the image.“She’s got a chip now.” On the Proconsul’s forehead was an emerald green chip. “That’s a chip on her forehead all right.” Wiggles brow furrowed. “I don’t know what’s going on. Mole women under contract are not eligible for office. Yet now she’s got a chip.”
“Ferrell can’t chip the Proconsul,” said Jack.
“Forced into it by duress or trickery,” Gumshoe said. He paced the auditorium and put a finger to his lip. “Agatha Miner is successful, beautiful, and powerful. She would no sooner take a chip than any free citizen in Moab.”
Jack paced the floor and shook his head. “What are we going to do?! Chip or no chip, she fingered Shotgun and I for murdering a bunch of children! Orphans! Who cares if they’re biots?! No words fit this!” Jack threw out his hands. “It’s a big lie!”
Wiggles and Gumshoe joined the elf and paced back and forth. The two detectives were momentarily lost in thought. Worried, Shotgun paced up the aisle and dodged the elf and the detectives.
“Jack has to hide,” said Gumshoe. “If he’s important enough to frame, he’s too important to lose.”
“Hiding!” said Jack, “I’m one of the most well recognized elves in Nodlon! I’ve been on the home page of Personality’s website dozens of times, and I’ve made their list of the top ten most influential biots in Nodlon every year since we started playing the Circus!”
“He’s right,” said Wiggles. “We’ve got to hide him. There’s no other way.�
� Wiggles turned to Jack, “I’ll put you and Shotgun into our witness protection program as soon as I can speak to Willoughby.”
“Look on the bright side, boss,” Shotgun pointed to Jack’s cloak. “You’re dressed for the part.”
“Dressed? I didn’t know a flamboyant costume with a velour cloak and suede boots makes a good disguise for a fugitive on the lam.”
“Oh, I think you’ve got great taste. Robin Hood would shoot an apple off the Sheriff of Nottingham’s head for the name of your tailor.”
“What about you? If you’re going as Will Scarlet, we need to get you some green spandex.”
“I’m already dressed as your sidekick, and I’ve got a nickname to match. Besides, my hands are registered as lethal weapons on twelve outworlds.” Hamming it up, Shotgun demonstrated with a judo chop.
Wiggles stopped pacing. “We don’t have time to discuss fashion or martial arts.” He came to a decision. “Jack, you and Shotgun are fugitives as of right now. The Proconsul is wearing a chip. She makes no sense. We can’t follow procedure and take you into custody. Someone will kill you and Shotgun before we can clear you.”
“How can we get out of Moab when we’re wanted?” asked Jack.
“The Proconsul is compromised,” said Wiggles. “I’ll put out the word. We cannot trust her. We’ve got to get you out of here. I’ll call Willoughby.”
“Wiggles,” Jack sighed. “You and Gumshoe aren’t safe. If the Black Dwarf can chip the Proconsul, you two may be our next accomplices.”
“We’re old detectives,” said Gumshoe. “We’ve got friends in low places.”
“Come on, Gumshoe,” Wiggles squeezed Jack’s elbow, “let’s give these boys a police escort.” The Constable led Jack through the exit, and down the hall. Shotgun allowed Gumshoe to take his arm, and they fell in behind Wiggles and Jack.
The nurses and orderlies stared at them as they passed. Jack felt everyone’s eyes on him. He wondered how they could be fooled so easily.
Wiggles flipped open his caster, and set it to audio. After a short ditty played, Jack heard Captain Willoughby answer.
“Shut up Wiggles. Listen carefully, I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it. The Proconsul has publicly offered a reward to private citizens for their help in chasing the pooch and the fox. She’s ordered us to find them, and terminate them on sight. The lead dog sent a smoke signal to the chief. The trail is clear for now. The cowboys will stampede the herd in twenty minutes. Got that?”
“Got it, the sled dogs are chasing the pooch now.” Wiggles closed his caster and slipped it into his jacket.
“Pooches and smoke signals? What’s that mean?”
“Navajo code, in case we’re under surveillance. I don’t know what’s going on, but we can’t trust the higher ups. They’ve got a kill order on you, so you’re not safe anywhere in Moab for now. The Captain’s put out the word. We’re clearing a path for you to get out of Moab.”
“Oh, great,” muttered Shotgun. “Now we’re wanted for mass murder and the police are supposed to shoot to kill.”
“Looks like it, son,” said Gumshoe. “They’ve gotten to the Proconsul. We all saw the chip. Don’t blame Jack. There’s no way any of us could have foreseen this move.”
Going around a corner, they nearly bowled into a harried Norman. The doctor’s hair flew in all directions.
“Oh, there you are Wiggles,” said Norman. “You can’t arrest Jack and Shotgun! The Proconsul’s lost her mind! She’s ordered the police to kill them.”
“I’m not at liberty to discuss it doctor,” said Wiggles. He winked.
“Do you have a tic Constable?”
“Out of my way, doctor,” said Wiggles. He winked again, and Norman blinked. “I’m taking a dangerous suspect into custody for his own protection.”
“Oh,” she said. The doctor shielded her face from the security camera. “Good luck,” she whispered.
“Thanks doctor,” whispered Jack, “call Chesterton for us. We need public support.”
