by Addison Fox
“An amazing mood killer.” She didn’t want to be resentful. She was well aware parenthood came with a lifetime of moment killers. It was the price you paid for the amazing little human entrusted to your care.
But did it have to start already?
Something flickered in Nikolas’s eyes, now a deep green as they reflected back at her inside the darkened car. She couldn’t quite name the emotion, but she saw something. It was only when he leaned in closer, contorting himself so that he had to move his body completely over the center console, that she sensed his intention. Once again his mouth met hers, his tongue a hot brand against her own.
And once again she responded in kind, her body shockingly sensitive to his touch.
They stayed like that for several long moments, mouths fused as the kiss played out in glorious, vivid color, his palm still pressed against her fetal soccer player.
Long minutes later, when they were both breathless, he finally lifted his head. “I don’t think the mood was killed at all. Do you?”
* * *
A few hours later, Nikolas couldn’t sleep and had opened his laptop for company. It had been late when they’d arrived home, and despite wanting to spend more time kissing Nova, he’d figured retreat was the better option.
Especially because it was killing him to think about her, asleep just down the hall. Not that he’d act on it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about it.
Damn, but what a roller coaster. She had been thrown several significant curve balls over the past forty-eight hours and had managed to dodge, bob, weave and all around field them like a pro. He was awed by her and not just because he was attracted to her.
A fact he was increasingly coming to grips with because there seemed to be no other alternative.
The light knock on his home office door pulled his attention and, as if he’d conjured her up, Nova stood in the doorway. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me, either.” He gestured to the small love seat up against the wall beside the desk. “Have a seat.”
She was still wearing the same outfit she’d worn to the Triple R, suggesting she’d spent the past hour in her room, as wide awake as he was. “What are you working on?”
“I wanted to look a bit more into Micheline Anderson and the AAG.”
“That creepy place.”
“Yes.”
“Is it wrong to realize that while I wanted to know my birth family, if that place is part of it I think I might have been better off not knowing?”
“Unfortunately, all I have for you is my good ol’ special brand of honesty. Homegrown and easily dispensed.”
He got the requisite smile out of her at that before she added, “Lay it on me.”
“There’s no way we can put that genie back in the bottle.”
“Succinct as always.”
“I’m your man.”
The easy humor between them fled as his words sunk in. It had been a joke, but after their make-out session in the front seat of his car, it hit a little too close to the truth.
He was increasingly thinking about being her man.
Which was ridiculous and stupid and likely a sign he should pack her up and send her over to the Triple R to stay with her aunts, just like they’d offered.
“Did you find anything?”
“Not much. I’ve reread the background on the place and I looked up some of the tax filing information, as well.”
“What did you find?”
“They seem legit. They’d gained some real favor a few years back but that’s faded. Even though they’re not really in vogue any longer, the worst I could find was a few snarky comments about them on social media.”
“And that’s hardly a sign of anything.”
“No, it’s not. If a post isn’t snarky, is it really a post at all?”
Nova eyed him. “Is that sort of the same as a ‘tree falling in the woods’ philosophy?”
“You bet.”
Nova leaned her head back against the sofa. “I remember those days. Playing on social media and reading whatever the latest drama was that someone got into. It’s been a while and I guess I have to say I really haven’t missed it.”
Her comments brought back home to him what she’d lived with for the past five months since leaving New York.
“You’ve given up a lot.”
Her eyes popped open and, in that moment, he saw some of Ace’s features in the set of her mouth and the shape of her eyes. “Not as much as some.”
“I’m not talking about some. I’m talking about you.”
“I guess I did.” She stared down at the belly that both defined her and seemed to add a goddess-like, ethereal quality all at the same time. “But he or she is worth it.”
“Or course they are. It still doesn’t change the fact that you gave up a lot.”
She laughed and he didn’t miss the sharp edges. “Do you know what I was thinking in the car? Before, when we were kissing?”
“That I was a god among men?”
He got another laugh at that, noticeably softer this time. “About the baby, I mean.” When he just waited for her, she continued on. “When the baby started kicking, interrupting us, I thought, geez, kid, could you just give me a few minutes to myself?”
“And I bet the baby kicked even harder.”
“Pretty much. I mean, this is my baby. All I have in the world, and I thought something like that.”
“You’re going through a lot of changes. That doesn’t make you a bad parent-to-be. It makes you human.”
He knew it was coming—he’d sensed it from the moment she’d stood in the doorway—but it was still something of a surprise when her smile drooped and Nova fell into copious, weeping tears.
He moved to sit next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her head against his chest. “Go on. Let it out.”
Her emotions whipped high and strong and her small fingers clutched at the front of his shirt as she cried. Although he didn’t know every reason for her tears, he knew quite a few and so he just settled in to wait out the storm.
And remained oddly grateful that he was the one she trusted enough to break down in front of.
“I’m sorry for that.” Her voice was quiet and muffled against his chest, but her tears had subsided to a series of soft hiccups.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because the front of your shirt looks like you just came in out of a downpour.”
“I’ll dry.”
“Ferdy never liked—” She stopped at that and he waited, curious if she’d keep going. It was only when she let out a small sigh that he knew she was ready to share. “Ferdy didn’t like tears. And it was okay because I’ve never been a big crier anyway. But there, in the first few weeks of my pregnancy, before I even knew I was pregnant, I was crying a lot. Hormone central, really.”
He let her talk, and tell him of an afternoon on the couch watching an action movie her jerk ex wanted to watch, when she’d started crying.
“And he was all like, what the hell are you crying about? And that only made me cry harder.”
Nikolas had never considered himself a particularly violent person. He knew how to take care of himself, but his glib tongue and easy smile usually got the job done far easier and without any bloodshed. His or anyone else’s.
However, in that moment, picturing her curled up on a couch watching some bloody, gory action flick and then being reprimanded for showing any sort of emotion, Nikolas would have gladly gone several rounds with the bastard.
He continued stroking Nova’s back, glad he could give her some comfort in the midst of an emotionally stressful situation. But it was only when her hands went slack against his chest, a sign that she’d drifted off to sleep, that he finally spoke.
“He doesn’t deserve you. He never did.�
�
* * *
Nova wasn’t sure how long she’d slept but when she woke she was curled up on the big couch in Nikolas’s living room and there was a blanket over her. Which was a far cry from the small love seat she’d fallen asleep on.
Or the strong chest she’d fallen asleep on, for that matter.
Sitting up, she glanced around. A light burned over the stove, giving enough glow to extend to the living room that she could see by. Other than her shoes, which were set neatly against the base of the couch, she was fully dressed.
A light still spilled out of his home office and it drew her. She padded to the door, still in a sort of hazy waking state, and still curious about the time.
So it was a surprise to walk in and see Ferdy’s face smack in the center of the large monitor Nikolas kept above his desk.
“What are you doing?”
Nikolas glanced up. His shadow of a beard had grown darker over the past few hours, giving him a dangerous, roguish look, but it was the sharp glint in his eye that really stopped her. She shifted gears, no longer curious to what he was doing and very concerned that something had happened. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been looking up your ex. That guy is serious trouble and I haven’t even found the really incriminating stuff. All I’ve been able to hunt up is innuendo and suggestion.”
“Where’d you find him?” She moved closer into the room, her gaze fixed on the monitor. It was strange to see Ferdy’s face again after so many months of only seeing him in nightmares.
“You’d be amazed at some of the dark holes those in less savory businesses deal in.”
“The dark web? What Harley Watts used to send the message to the Colton Oil board?”
“You know what the dark web is?”
“I’ve read at least a thriller a week for the past months. Yeah, I know about the dark web.” She perched on the edge of the love seat. “How much time do you spend on the fringes of the internet?”
“As little time as possible, but I do use the tools at my disposal and this is one of them.”
“I had no idea you were such a rebel.”
Although she’d meant it as a joke, the comment came out a bit more pointed than she’d intended.
“I wish I could tell you my life was squeaky clean, but I deal in a shadowy area. I’m not law enforcement, which gives me some latitude that the law doesn’t have. At the same time, I live with the knowledge that the law doesn’t have to go easy on me if I break it.”
“A shadowy middle ground.”
“It is.”
Since going on the run from Ferdy, there were moments when Nova felt she’d lived an entire lifetime from the day she overheard him in his office. But sitting here with Nikolas, she acknowledged something else.
She could divide her life with Mustang Valley as the reference—before and after coming here. She’d initially believed it was before and after Ferdy. Or before and after pregnancy. Or even before and after her mother’s death. And all of those things were momentous.
But there was something here. Something in finding her way to Arizona that had truly changed her in irrevocable ways even more profound than her circumstances.
Did that mean she was finally where she belonged? And if she was, didn’t she owe it to herself to make a full break? To find a way to solve her past and put it behind her.
“Can you find out more? In any of the databases you use?”
“Find out what?”
“Things about Ferdy. His work. His criminal associates.”
“If he hasn’t been arrested for a crime it’s going to be harder. We may be able to make up a sort of panel of known associates if we dig hard enough. Try to find dirt across all of them and make a connection.” Nikolas quieted, his gaze never wavering off her. “What you overheard in his office will be a necessary piece.”
“To put him away?”
“Yes. And to get someone to listen to you. They have to have some sort of reasonable proof that the man did something. A group of unsavory friends doesn’t quite do it.”
“I know.”
And she did know. Way down deep, it was that knowledge that had haunted her since the day she walked out of his office, so careful to keep her steps breezy and light. So determined that anyone who’d seen her would think she was simply out for the day and had popped in to visit her boyfriend.
But she knew that there would come a day when it would all catch up to her. When the need to do what was right was going to have to outweigh her personal safety. Because she didn’t just suspect him or think the worst.
She knew the worst.
“Can we start small? A few places where I can refamiliarize myself with his life and see if anything comes back to me.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking about our conversation earlier. About social media. For all his potential bad dealings, Ferdy loved being out and being seen around town. Maybe there’s something there. Someone he took a photo of.”
Nova had already considered the events she had attended with Ferdy. He was always glad-handing someone and he loved any opportunity to have his picture taken for a photo op.
Would one of those give them the answers they needed?
“No discretion, eh?” Nikolas asked. “Being that public with his less savory friendships.”
“I think it’s a real possibility. Besides, if he thought he had things set up so he wouldn’t get caught, he wouldn’t think to worry about a photo op here or there. But between that and what you’re digging up, we may be able to put him with some other bad actors.”
“It’s worth a try.”
“Of course, I’m assuming he and I are still connected on social media. If we are I can nose around to my heart’s content.”
“You want to give it a try?”
Now or never.
“Yeah, I do. I’d use my phone but I’ve deliberately kept it off for fear of being tracked.”
“Log in via desktop. I know it’s old school, but it still works.”
Nikolas stood up and gestured to his seat, giving her room to maneuver at his laptop. She sat down and placed her hands on the keyboard, surprised to realize how easily it all came back. Her password was one of her easier ones and she logged in. Several hundred notifications waited for her in the upper corner of the screen.
“Wow. You can tell I’ve been away for a while.” Nova glanced at the notifications but ignored them. She’d look through them another day.
“You’ve had reason to be.”
“Okay. Here goes.” She tapped Ferdy’s name into the search bar, pleased when a small check confirmed they were still “friends.”
She immediately went to his photos section, scanning for anything she might recognize as a function or a group of people.
Nikolas gave her room to work, setting a pen and notepad beside her, and she quickly became lost in the exercise. He’d done a lot over the past few months. Images of him in a tux filled several thumbnail photos and she clicked into several, curious to see if anyone else was tagged in the image.
Most of the pictures were of him or him and a date. Shocked that the photos didn’t upset her more, she kept on clicking, searching for something she could use.
And then hit the motherlode.
“Here. Look here.” Nikolas was already off the love seat and leaning over her shoulder. “These people. I don’t know them but I recognize them from being around. The first time Ferdy and I met, he was talking to these people before he introduced himself to me. And this one.” She tapped a man with white-blond hair and vivid blue eyes. “He’s been at functions. He’s distinctive and hard to forget. He also has an accent. It’s charming—” She broke off, memories of a long-forgotten evening springing to mind. “Only it’s not. It’s sort of harsh underneath, as if he’s sizing up everyo
ne and everything around him.”
“Is it tagged?” Nikolas leaned over her shoulder and hovered the mouse over the photo. No name popped up but he took a screen grab of the image. “We’ll see what we can do with that.”
The warmth of his body enveloped her as he tapped a few commands to save the photo. Even though Nova knew she was tempting fate, looking up Ferdy and somehow putting her intentions into the ether, she couldn’t deny that it felt good to act.
To find some way to put the nightmare behind her.
It didn’t seem so bad with Nikolas at her back, his large body shielding her from harm.
* * *
The call came at 3:10 a.m. Ferdy rolled off the slut he’d picked up at a club the previous night and read the name on the screen.
Wally.
The bitch was so blitzed out on pills and booze she’d never hear him, so he didn’t bother closing the door as he walked naked into the living room. “This is Adler. It better be good.”
“Oh, it’s good.” Wally launched right in. “I found her. She logged into a new device to check her social media. Who’d have thought the one password you knew would actually pay off. It pinged me as soon as she logged in, confirming the IP address and making sure she was legit on a new device.”
Yeah, Ferdy thought. Who knew? He might not know much about the tech mumbo jumbo, but he understood what an IP address was. And he very much understood how you could use it to find a real one.
“Where is she?”
“Arizona.”
“Where?” he asked, already envisioning their reunion.
“Mustang Valley, Arizona.”
Chapter 14
Nova and Nikolas got into a rhythm over the next week. She’d found a part time job with a small boutique on the main drag of Mustang Valley and spent her days there while Nikolas went to his office. The time in the shop was so affirming, connecting her with her old skills and helping her feel productive again.
All within a few storefronts from Nikolas’s office.
She’d also begun a tentative relationship with Marlowe. The new mother had invited her over for a late lunch at the end of Nova’s first week in the shop. Marlowe had talked about Reed and her pregnancy. Nova had been able to ask questions and chat with Marlowe as if they were friends, which meant more to her than she could have ever imagined. It also made her realize just how alone she’d been these past months, experiencing her pregnancy almost in a vacuum.
