The door was suddenly flung open, and my sister’s scowling face met mine. One of her brows was raised in a high arch. “Who, Elle? Who will you kill?”
I opened my mouth, ready to say something stupid when I caught sight of Ebonia looking disheveled and rumpled. I gasped, realizing why my sister hadn’t opened the door right away. I cringed and did a hasty bow in Ebonia’s direction.
She merely dipped her head in acknowledgement. “I’ll see you later,” she whispered intimately before leaning over and tenderly kissing my sister’s cheek to say goodbye. Ebonia spared me a withering glance as she swam by, shutting the door behind her.
I bit my front teeth together, grimacing in my sister’s direction. “Sock on the door would have helped. And what the hells, sis? We just buried our sister. I mean, the least you could have done was wait a— ”
“What, Elle? Huh!” she snapped, violently angry. “What the hells would you know of love, anyway?” she asked, echoing the same sentiment I’d screamed at Crowley only minutes before.
I winced at being on the receiving end of that insult.
“Where were you all these years? Gone! You don’t give two shites about us, and now you have the nerve to come down here and chastise me for trying to forget for just two godsdamned minutes!”
Her words were slurred and her movements jerky as she grabbed a bottle of Father’s favorite sherry and poured a generous amount into her crystal tumbler. She was drunk. My straitlaced sister was ten sheets to the wind, and I should have realized it immediately, but I’d been trying to joke around with her, being so much my old, stupid, selfish self that it had never even crossed my mind to imagine that she might be grieving the loss of our favorite sister.
Her words were a terrible wound to my soul, though, because she didn’t have a clue how much I hurt or how desperately I was trying to think about anything other than the fact that my beloved Aquata was really and truly gone. But as I looked at her, I couldn’t believe how much of a selfish dumbass I’d been to not have noticed.
Her face paint was streaked, and her hair was disheveled, and not the good kind that came from a lusty tussle in a bed, but the kind that looked as though she had been grabbing and pulling, trying to yank the damn things out by the roots with fury.
Her warrior’s garb was half on and half off with no rhyme or reason for it. Her collar was on, while her chest plate was dangling by a single thin strap. She slammed back her drink, and I saw her shudder.
She squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. “I’m the one who found her.” Her words were soft but haunted. Her tone was monotone, as though she was recounting something other than our sister’s death. “Facedown with a sliver of sea cheese clenched tightly in her fist for that damned pet of hers. Father told her not to keep that mangy creature. He said to let it live or die as it would. But she would not hear of it. Her and her bloody, soft heart.” When Anahita turned her eyes to me, they were shockingly red, and tears streaked down her cheeks. She didn’t bother trying to hide them from me.
“She always loved her pets. They were her only true companions,” I whispered into the thick and heavy silence stretching between us.
At first, Anahita’s glare was hard and set, but when I said nothing more, I saw the cracks start to appear. Finally, she lowered her shoulders, and her face turned red with regret and shame. “She should never have been there.”
I watched my sister even as I took a seat, keeping an eye on her like one might on an enraged but confused predatory creature. “Where should she have been, Anahita?” I whispered softly.
She tossed back another tumbler full of father’s personal stock. The stuff could add hair to one’s tongue and strip the flesh right off the back of a throat when swallowed. She was mainlining the stuff like it was sweet nectar. I watched as she slammed back yet another cupful.
“Ana, go easy on that,” I said, leaning forward, ready to gently pry the vessel away from her.
She roared, moving so quickly that it made my head spin. Within the span of a second, she had a trident in hand, and in one lithe movement, she jumped over the desk. Somehow, I was pinned to the edge of it, and she was looming over me like some psychotic version of the reaper himself.
Her teeth were sharp and pointy. She breathed heavily. She stank of liquor. She was so wasted that I was starting to feel almost as if I had a contact buzz just from breathing in the fumes, but I didn’t take my eyes off of her.
She’d always been the best fighter of us all. It was partly why Father had chosen her as his successor. Anahita was scary when she wanted to be. Her eyes burned like blue fire. I didn’t even blink. I didn’t move a muscle or breathe too heavily. I merely kept eye contact with her, nodding slowly and speaking to her in soothing, gentle tones. “It’s okay, my sister. It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”
At that, she laughed. “I hold this blade to your throat, and yet you say you will not hurt me. I should gut you for the insult.”
Beneath the growls and the violence of her threat, I knew that she was hurting and that it was the pain that caused her to do as she was doing. Anahita had always been loyal to Father and to the kingdom, but especially to me.
And I’d betrayed that trust long before, when I’d chosen a man over my own blood. “I’m here now.”
She scoffed, but the tears were running down her cheeks in thick torrents. Her hands were starting to shake just a little too.
“I’m here now, Ana. I’m here now.”
I wasn’t sure how long she held the trident to my carotid, but from one second to the next, she threw the weapon aside with a wild cry then nearly fell on her arse. I had to reach down to wrap her up in my arms, and she clung to me like a baby otter, curling her hands into my back, digging in so hard that I felt my flesh opening up beneath her sharpened claws. Her tail wrapped around my legs, and she sobbed like a broken child.
Each tear was a blade to my soul, and I held her even as my own eyes filled with heat. But I didn’t cry, because it was my turn to be strong for her and to let her be weak. Anahita was always so brave, so stoic. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much pain she had to be in to be so openly weak before me.
I didn’t view it as weakness, not any longer. Being in the above had taught me a thing or two about just how strong one had to be to allow another to so openly view their vulnerability. But I didn’t tell her any of that. I simply held her. I rocked her and whispered over and over that I was there for her, for as long as she needed me to be.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she scrubbed at her cheeks and shuddered delicately. “Gods, I’m mortified. You should not have seen that, Elle. I— ”
I silenced her with my hand over her mouth. “Don’t. Don’t say it. Don’t think it. Just don’t. She was my sister too.”
“And yet you do not shed a tear for her.” She shook her head and pulled out of my arms. Already, I could see her putting her armor back on. But I didn’t feel that wall between us now, not like before.
She cast a furtive glance in my direction. “Why have you come?”
I knew what she was really asking, but I didn’t know what to say to that.
“If you were powerful enough to summon me or to banish the Sea Witch from our world”—she let the rest of that thought dangle, but I heard it loud and clear: to banish the Sea Witch from our world but let her maim Father and take my sister from me —“tell me, Elle, why didn’t you just leave? You are strong enough. You had to know that coming here would not save you. You know how our kingdom runs and that we would have no choice but to try you for treason. Why did you come?”
My thoughts were stuck on what she hadn’t said. My sister still believed that the Sea Witch had killed Aquata and nearly killed Father. Crowley and I hadn’t figured out yet who it really was, but we at least knew it hadn’t been the witch. So if Anahita really believed that, was she innocent of all of this? Was she just another pawn in this game? Same as me?
Crowley didn’t think so, but I knew my
sister. Even through all the years that separated us, I knew her.
“I came because of you,” I finally said, letting her hear the full truth in those words. “I’m sorry, Ana, for the way things ended, for the choices I made. For butchering Anders— ”
She hissed. “Don’t say his name. Don’t you ever say that monster’s name in front of me. I believed you then. I believe you now. I know what he did to you, Elle, even if Father refused to accept it. You had every right to do as you did, every right. No male, no matter how noble of blood, gets to do that to a woman against her will. Of course you did it, and if you hadn’t, I would have. I always had your back. I always believed in you. Always.”
I heard the betrayal and the pain again. I’d chosen the above over her. She’d chosen me, and I’d chosen Grimm.
My lips parted, and I stared at her with my heart feeling as though it was literally trapped in my throat. This time, a lone tear slid down my right cheek, and I scrubbed at it violently with my wrist before swallowing hard.
“The tribunal,” I said, letting the rest of my thought dangle. I knew she would know what I was asking without being forced to say the words.
Looking weary and suddenly defeated, she sat on the edge of Father’s desk, hanging her head as she once more reached over for the empty tumbler of crystal that’d fallen on its side in our tussle.
Taking a deep breath, she poured another finger full. But this time, she didn’t slam it back. She merely sipped. “They want to skin your hide and leave your meat out for the sharks.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head softly. “Ana, I didn’t do that to Aquata. Or to Father.”
“But your actions led the Sea Witch right to us. I don’t know if I can sto— ”
“What if I didn’t?” I pinned her with my glare. “What if it wasn’t the Sea Witch at all who did this?”
She flinched, and her hand shook a little. Some of the liquor sloshed up the side and onto a knuckle. “What? What are you saying?”
Crowley would kill me for telling her—he’d warned me that it had to stay between us. But we were quickly running out of time. Ana loved me, even if some part of her hated me too. She was still my Anahita, my protective sister who was more a mother to me than my own could ever have been. “The other male I came down here with,” I said, stomach trembling as I knew I was getting ready to cross Crowley’s direct order. “His name is— ”
“Agent Crowley, I know who he is,” she said, her voice full of grit, roughened by too much scotch. “What of him?”
Taking a deep breath to steel my nerves, I rushed to say it before I chickened out. “We don’t think it was the Sea Witch who did it, Ana.”
“What?” She scoffed, downing the rest of the glass before pouring another. Our metabolisms being what they were, Anahita wouldn’t die of alcohol poisoning, but she might wish she had in the morning when the skull crushing migraine set in. Father’s stash wasn’t for the faint of heart. “How can you be so sure?”
I tapped my nose. “His nose. Crowley is a wolf shifter. He’s the one who’s been gleaning most of the clues down here. Since I was stripped of my siren’s charms, I— ”
She snorted and lifted her refilled glass toward me in a jerky manner, sloshing even more over its rim. I winced to see such fine stuff being treated in such a wasteful manner, but I wouldn’t say anything about that again, not after the trident she’d pulled on me before.
“You can’t be stripped of your siren nature.” She guffawed as if it was the silliest thing she’d ever heard in her life.
“I was,” I corrected, pointing to my hair and eyes. “Don’t you see me? Look at me. That bitch twisted me into something I don’t even recognize anymore.”
She rolled her eyes theatrically and chortled, “My dear sister, you never were one for learning, were you? A siren’s nature is inherent to us. It is what we are.”
“She stole it, Anahita, forced me to give it to her so that I would activate my witch— ”
“Duh.” She giggled, and I was stunned to see her acting in such an indecorous manner. “But like a seedling shoved into the ground, ever will we rise.” She hiccupped before taking another gulp.
I frowned. “Wait. What?”
“You can’t lose what it means to be you,” she said then laughed annoyingly. “Gods, this stuff is strong. Finally, right? I’ve only had three bottles.”
“Three bottles,” I hissed, automatically attempting to steal the nearly empty third bottle.
“Touch it and die.” She snarled before snatching it up and hugging it close to her breast.
Once again, I held up my hands. She was going to hate herself in the morning. But I’d tried. “Are you saying that I’m… healing?”
She rolled her eyes again before leaning back and placing all her weight on her right hand. She was swaying dangerously. Soon, Anahita would be passed out cold on the floor, which I had no doubt was the point.
My sister couldn’t process any of what had happened tonight, at least not right now. The mantle she wore was a heavy burden. I did not envy her. If she needed to get lit to make it through the night, far be it from me to take that away from her.
She hiccupped. “Yup. Soon, you’ll be stronger even than Daddy. He knew, you know. Me too.”
My fingertips felt numb. “Knew what?”
“That your momma was a witch. The witch .” She laughed. “Father was such a fecking bastard, slept around on momma all the time. I caught him with her.” Her laughter was deep and rolling, and she was making strange noises in the back of her throat.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The witch had told me as much. She’d said I was hers. I was a witch, too, so of course, I was hers. But it still stung to hear my sister say it so matter-of-factly, to know that she had lied to my face for so long. No wonder I’d never felt like I’d really fit in with any of them. I wasn’t one of them.
“He’s a bad man, Elle. I tried to deny it. But deep down, I knew. You know why I stayed? Why I didn’t run away with you like I wanted to?”
She’d wanted to run away with me? My eyes widened, and I felt cold all over. My heart hammered violently in the cage of my chest. She’d wanted to leave with me? I could not doubt her words, for drink was the great truth serum. I’d learned through my years on the force that drink loosened the tongue and could shine new light on reality. But I’d never known that my straitlaced sister had wanted to leave when I had. I’d simply never known.
“To keep him in line. He was ruthless. Bloodthirsty. He’s a bad, bad man. He wanted to toss you into the hole. I convinced him to banish you. That curse was never true. You didn’t change. You didn’t change… She lied. She lied to us all.” She laughed, the sound drunken and light, but I could hear the raw pain in her voice.
I clutched at my breast.
“Said it was a far worse punishment to cut you off that way. And it was. It was.” She started sobbing again. “But I wanted you alive. I wanted you to live. Even if it meant I could never be with you again. I hate you for leaving me here alone with him. I hate you, Elle. I hate you so much. I hate that I still love you.”
Then she broke down for the second time. When I went to her and wrapped my hand around the full tumbler, she didn’t fight me. She simply sobbed, sounding so broken and small.
I was able to half drag her to the tufted ivory chaise lounge in the corner. She fell into it with a plop. I had to heave and strain to roll her securely into the center so that she didn’t fall and hurt herself.
One word had resonated in my skull: curse . She’d said “curse.” My sister didn’t look like she was coherent at all anymore—she was muttering, mumbling nonsense to herself, and giggling intermittently.
It pained me to see her that way, but I had to know. “What curse, Ana? Being banished to the— ”
She snorted before staring at me with one bleary eye. “Love. Love would change you. Would twist you. Would make you something far too powerful to contain.”
I
frowned. “What?”
She giggled even harder then pouted, reaching ineffectively for the drink still on the desk before giving up with a lengthy sigh. “That your love would make you a monster. A villain. That he would turn you, and you would hurt us.” She laughed harder. “Hurt us! But we hurt him first. Hook can never have you. Hahahaha …” On and on, she giggled, tossing a hand over her eyes. “Daddy said that meant you would kill him. And now he almost is, that sick feck.” She hiccupped. “He almost is. But we killed Hook first, so in the end it all was for naught. I think I like that part best.”
I shook my head, my pulse hammering in my ears. My mouth was dry as cotton. “I’ll never change, Ana. You know that. No man will ever again force me to do anything other than what I wish. Never again. I’ll gut him first.”
“I love you, Ellie,” she murmured drowsily. “Lwubuuuu ,” she slurred then snored.
She was already passed out when I pulled away, her mouth parted and her skin an unpleasant shade of green. I doubted she would remember anything when she woke up.
But I didn’t think I could ever forget it. What if drink wasn’t really truth serum? What if that had simply been the ramblings of a depressed mind? There was no way that I’d been cursed like that, no way that Ana had known why Father had tried to kill Hook, and no way my sister would have kept something like that from me for all these years. No way.
But even as I denied it, I felt the coldness of truth flood through me. It ticked off all the boxes, that crazy explanation of hers. It explained why Father had become so enraged when he’d found me with Hook, why Father had hunted my Hook down like a dog, all of it.
My hands shook. I didn’t know what to do with myself. If the words she’d spoken had all been true, then it all made sense, but it also meant that my sister had betrayed my trust in the worst possible way. She’d kept that dark family secret from me. She’d let Father hunt him down. She’d let it all happen.
I blinked several times to rid the backs of my eyes from the heat building there. Walking over toward the door, I decided to try to find Father on my own. I wasn’t sure what it would accomplish, especially if he was still comatose, but I had to see him.
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