“How can I help?” she asked.
Charlie smiled. “Well, let’s see. I’m planning on making roast beef for our after-wedding meal, so if you want to get that into the oven, that would be wonderful.” She nodded her head toward the ice box.
“No problem.” Berniece dug around until she found a large baking dish and put the pot roast into the oven. “Are we doing potatoes and carrots?” she asked.
“Well, of course. But let’s not peel those until shortly before the wedding.” Charlie poured the batter into a cake pan. “Now, let’s talk about the baby. I’m assuming you’re experienced enough with babies to at least know how to change a diaper?”
Berniece nodded. “I’ve changed many at the orphanage in Beckham. I volunteered there before my father arranged my marriage and I was expected to spend every waking moment planning for my wedding day.”
“Good. I’m glad you’ve at least got some experience with babies. Let me show you how we mix her milk.” Charlie led her to the sink and showed her the process. “I warm the milk in a pan, but just so it’s my body temperature, and then we pour it into a bottle for her.” Charlie demonstrated as she explained. “Now, we’re ready for her when she wakes up, and if she’s true to form, it’ll be within the next ten minutes. That child has herself on a schedule, and she likes it that way.”
Charlie put some oatmeal into bowls for them both. “Now we eat, while we wait for her to cry.”
“Does she eat oatmeal?” Berniece asked.
“Yes, but she has to be fed. She can eat things like a crust of bread by herself, because she’s really just gnawing on it, but actual food we want inside her needs to be spoon fed.”
“That makes sense.” Berniece heard the baby cry, and she got to her feet. “I want to start taking care of her with you here, so you can let me know if I need to do anything differently. Kane made it clear that she’s my responsibility and mine alone.”
“I’m sure he did,” Charlie said, shaking her head. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll come around.”
Berniece hurried out of the kitchen, feeling a tear pop into her eye. She’d escaped a terrible situation, and she knew she should be grateful for this opportunity, but she still felt very vulnerable. When she got to the room she’d slept in, she picked the baby up and patted her back. “I’m here, Ruth. Everything will be all right.”
The baby watched her warily as she changed her diaper, probably wondering why this new person was taking care of her. Berniece diapered her and carried her downstairs, talking to her softly. “Are you hungry? Your auntie Charlie and I made you a bottle.” When she got to the kitchen, she picked up the bottle and fed the little girl. Ruth sucked at the bottle as if she’d been doing it her entire life, and Berniece smiled down at her. “She takes the bottle well.”
“She didn’t at first,” Charlie said, smiling at her niece. “She had to learn. She loved nursing, and taking that bottle made her very angry at first. The past month has been rough as we’ve taught her to take only the bottle. MaryAnn needed to be free to go home.”
“I’m sure you miss her.” Berniece stared down at the little girl in her arms,
“I do. I didn’t expect to become as close to her as I did, and I’ll be forever grateful she was here with me through Ruth’s first months. When she decided to leave, I knew I had to write Elizabeth and get her to find someone to marry Kane. He was resistant—not wanting to marry so soon—but I think he knows it’s the right thing for Ruth.”
“He doesn’t seem to want me around at all,” Berniece said sadly.
“His relationship with Veronica was tumultuous, and I think you’ll find that he warms up to you as the days go by. Just be the best mother and housewife you can be, and things will all work out.”
Tumultuous? Berniece wasn’t sure Charlie knew what she was talking about. From his letter, it seemed to her that Kane was still infatuated with his late wife.
“I hope so,” Berniece said, sitting the baby up and burping her. “It’s going to be strange to be married to a man who doesn’t want me there. I was afraid I’d be married to a man who wanted me too much.”
Charlie frowned. “Lizard Breath said you were supposed to marry a man who disgusts you. I hope you don’t feel the same way about Kane.”
Berniece had to chuckle at the nickname Charlie used for her sister. “He doesn’t disgust me, but I feel like I disgust him. I wish I knew what to do to make him realize I’m not lazy. That’s what he thinks after I slept all day yesterday.”
“I told him how tired you were after that train ride! I don’t know what that man’s problem is, but he’s going to get a piece of my mind.”
Berniece shook her head adamantly. “No. We need to work it out between us.”
“All right. But I would be happy to intervene if you think it’ll help.”
“I think it would just make things worse at this point. After a week or two, he’ll get to know me better and see that I’m capable of keeping up with the housework and the baby, and things will be better. I just have to prove myself to him.” Berniece shrugged, giving the baby a bite of her oatmeal. “Veronica must have been a wonderful housewife, and he’s holding me up to her standards. It sounds like she was practically perfect.” Charlie choked on her oatmeal, and Berniece gave her a worried look. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Charlie took a big drink of her water, swallowing hard.
“So, do we have a pretty dress for the baby for the wedding?” Berniece didn’t even have a pretty, new dress for herself, but she had something that would do.
Charlie nodded emphatically. “I made it myself. It’s a beautiful white dress, and she looks darling in it.”
After breakfast, Berniece put the baby in her high chair with a couple of spoons to make noise with, and she happily pounded away while the two women got ready for their wedding supper.
“Is it just going to be the four of us?” Berniece asked.
“Yes. Kane doesn’t feel right making your wedding a big production, since it hasn’t even been a year since Veronica died.” Charlie didn’t meet Berniece’s eyes when she said that, and Berniece felt like there was something she was missing out on, but she had no idea what it could be.
Berniece mixed the dough for a loaf of bread while Charlie drank some water.
“Excuse me,” Charlie said, running from the room.
When she returned, Berniece looked at her. “Are you all right?”
“Morning sickness. I’ll be happy when that part of this pregnancy is over.”
“Oh! You’re expecting! I had no idea.” Berniece was genuinely happy for the other woman.
“Yes, I am, and I’m thrilled. Ruth needs cousins, don’t you think?”
“I do think so. I’m not sure her father will ever agree to brothers and sisters for her.” It wasn’t just that his first wife had died in childbirth, but he’d made it plain he didn’t think much of Berniece.
“Oh, I think that will change pretty quickly. Kane loves children.”
“He does?” Berniece was surprised. It was hard to imagine the man she was going to marry having any kind of positive emotion at all. He seemed very stoic and angry to her.
“He does. Ruth is the light of his life. You’ll see. If he’s not with her, he’s talking about her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a devoted father.”
“Well, with as much as he obviously loved her mother, it makes sense. He probably sees Veronica in little Ruth.”
“Maybe.” Charlie didn’t sound convinced. It didn’t matter, though, because Berniece could see the writing on the wall, and she knew very well where she stood.
By the time the men arrived to walk with them to the church, all three girls were dressed in their Sunday best. Berniece loved the look on little Ruth’s face when her daddy got there; the baby excitedly tried to dive out of her arms toward her favorite man. She hadn’t quite realized there was already such a bond with the two of them living separately, but the girl obv
iously knew who her father was.
Berniece was dressed in navy blue, and her hair was in an intricate knot atop her head, thanks to Charlie’s help. As they walked, the two women walked together, and the two men walked ahead of them with Ruth in her father’s arms. When they reached the church, Berniece said a silent prayer for strength. She wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, but little Ruth had already captured Berniece’s heart, and she had to go through with it.
At the front of the church, the pastor quickly went through the ceremony, and Berniece was surprised at how quickly it all went. When Kane was told to kiss his bride, he looked uncertain for a moment before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Berniece’s cheek. She wanted to yell at him for not caring enough to even kiss her properly, but she couldn’t.
As soon as it was over, they thanked the pastor and made their way back to Abel and Charlie’s house, where their feast awaited them.
They ate their meal and then had cake, and after Berniece helped Charlie to clean up, Kane went out to hitch up his wagon and bring it around. He and Abel carried the crib and the high chair out to the wagon and then all of the baby’s things. Berniece had expected the baby to stay in town for a couple of more days as she and Kane got used to each other, but that wasn’t a plan anyone else had.
She carried the baby out to the wagon, and he took the child, holding her while Berniece climbed onto the wagon seat. It was her first time to climb up with no help, and she was certain her skirts would become tangled, but she made it up, holding out her hands for the baby.
Berniece held Ruth close as Kane climbed up beside her and flicked the leads. Waving goodbye to Charlie, Berniece hoped she would see the other girl often. She’d already formed a bond with Charlie, and she hated the idea of not having her friend close.
Kane made the five-minute drive out into the country in silence, pulling up in front of a pretty two-story white house. After getting down, he took Ruth, and once Berniece was on the ground beside him, he handed the baby back over. He said nothing else as he worked to carry in the baby’s things, leaving her to carry her carpet bag along with the baby.
When she stepped foot inside the house, she swallowed hard. It was positively filthy. She didn’t even want to let the baby sit anywhere, but then she remembered that the high chair was clean. She put the baby into it and rolled up her sleeves. Cleaning up months’ worth of dust and dirt was not how she’d planned to spend her wedding day, but there was truly no choice in the matter. It needed to be done, and so she would do it. She was the wife and new mother, which meant it was now her responsibility.
Kane came in after unhitching the wagon and took the baby from the high chair. She started to tell him not to put the baby down until she’d finished cleaning, but he sat with the baby on his lap in a rocking chair.
It took her hours, but she got the kitchen clean enough that she felt like she could make meals there that wouldn’t make them all ill, and she finally sat down at the table, utterly and completely exhausted. She hadn’t had enough sleep all week, and since she’d gotten up that morning, she’d been cooking or cleaning. Surely, he would understand her exhaustion now.
“I put the crib in the baby’s room upstairs,” Kane told her. “Charlie sent home the quilt she’d made for her, so everything in the crib is clean.”
“Good. I’ll tackle everything else tomorrow.”
He studied her for a moment before nodding. “I’ll show you the room that will be yours.” He led her up the stairs, still carrying the baby. “This room is hers.” He pushed open a door, and the crib was in the room along with a small dresser. There was nothing else in there. She wanted to ask if the baby’s mother had made her anything for her room, but she couldn’t, because the subject seemed to be taboo.
He led her down to another door. “And this will be your room.”
The room he showed her was covered in dust like the downstairs had been, and she tried not to let her feelings show. The room would need to be cleaned thoroughly before she would feel comfortable sleeping there, but there was nowhere else. She definitely had her work cut out for her. “This room will do nicely. Thank you.”
Kane watched his pretty new wife, wondering how she was going to react to the filthy room he’d designated as hers, but she didn’t complain, simply straightening her spine as if she was gearing up for more work. He had misjudged her the day before, and that was obvious now. She was a worker, plain and simple. He thought about apologizing for the way he’d spoken to her, but he found he preferred to leave things as they were. He didn’t want them to be on good terms. She was there to take care of his daughter and feed him. Nothing else really mattered. “Good. I try to be on the range by half-past five, so breakfast at five would be nice. I will milk the cow and gather eggs at four thirty, so they’ll be ready for you to make breakfast.”
“Sounds good,” Berniece said, already wanting to melt into a puddle on the floor as she thought about the long day she would have the next day, getting everything cleaned to her satisfaction and making sure meals were made. “I need to give the baby her bottle. Do you need to eat again?” She hoped his answer was no, because she wasn’t sure she was up for cooking anything after all she’d done.
“Just some scrambled eggs would be nice. I don’t have a lot of food in the house.”
Berniece nodded. “I’ll fix the baby’s bottle and your eggs. Bring her down when you’re ready to eat, please.”
“I think she needs her diaper changed,” he said, looking at her.
“Yes, of course.” Berniece took the baby and changed her in her crib, not wanting to lay her on any other surface in the house. After changing Ruth, she handed the girl back to her father and headed down the stairs to make eggs and a bottle. Thankfully, Charlie had sent the infant food the girl needed.
After fixing meals for Kane and Ruth, she took the baby from her new husband and fed her, talking to her in an animated voice as she held her. “I’m so glad you like that food, because your new mommy doesn’t have the ability to feed you any other way. No, I don’t!”
Kane watched Berniece with the baby, and he knew she would be a good mother, even though she may not be a good wife. The two of them seemed natural together, and he was pleased to see it. As he plowed through his eggs, his mind was on the two girls in his life. “I’ll be home at noon and six for meals. I expect them to be hot and ready when I ride up.”
She nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
“There are several ranch hands, but you won’t be expected to feed them at all. Your entire job will be taking care of me and Ruth, feeding us, and making sure the house is clean.”
“Yes, of course.” Berniece wanted to throw something at him, but the only thing she had available was a baby bottle, and she didn’t want to have to clean up the glass from the floor.
He tipped his head to one side as he watched her. “Whatever you’re running away from back east must be pretty horrific if you were willing to marry a man who didn’t want a wife.”
She nodded. “It was. I was expected to marry a man thirty years older than me who was planning ways to punish me for pointing out that he might want a wife closer to his age. He left bruises on my shoulders before we were married. Imagine what he would have done after.”
Kane frowned. “I’m not perfect, and I won’t claim to be. But I promise I will not hurt you.”
“That’s all I’m looking for at the moment.” With that, she pulled the bottle out of the baby’s mouth and burped her. She was glad they understood one another.
Four
Berniece woke before the sun was up the following morning, peeking her head in at the baby before she stumbled down the stairs. She started a fire in the stove and immediately started a small pot of oatmeal for the baby. While that was cooking, she sliced bacon off of the big slab of meat she found in the ice box and started it frying. She located a coffee grinder and started a pot of coffee.
She put eggs on to fry as soon as she heard Kane
moving around, and then sat down for a moment. The kitchen was the only clean room in the house for now, and that would need to change by the end of the day. She hadn’t enjoyed sleeping in the dusty room that had been designated as hers, so she would need to wash all bed linens and get the rooms cleaned that day. Starting out her day in a state of exhaustion wasn’t going to help her get the things she needed to do finished.
She had breakfast on the table by the time Kane came in from collecting the eggs and milking the cows. He immediately sat down to eat, saying nothing to her as he inhaled his breakfast.
She sat with him in silence for a moment. “I’m going to need to do a little shopping before I can do any real cooking,” she said softly.
He nodded. “I figured that. If you want to walk into town with the baby, that would be fine, or wait for me. I could take an hour to do shopping with you on Monday.”
“I don’t know if the food we have on hand will be enough to make it until Monday. We really need several things.”
He shrugged. “Make do or go on your own. If you decide to go, put the food on my account at the mercantile. Just explain you’re my new wife.” With that, he stood, plopped his hat on his head, and left for the day.
Berniece stared at the closed door, wondering what on earth was wrong with the man. He expected her to cook three meals a day, but he expected her to do it with no food. No one could manage that way—not even his perfect Veronica.
She had finished the breakfast dishes and given the baby her bottle and was feeding her oatmeal when there came a knock at the door. She was already close to tears, so if it wasn’t a neighbor there to bring her a cake to welcome her, she didn’t know if she was going to be able to manage not to cry.
She hurried to the door and threw it open, finding Charlie on the other side, and much to her chagrin, she did burst into tears immediately.
Charlie stepped inside, hugging Berniece. “I’m sure this house is a mess. I thought about coming to clean it before you came, but we were getting ready for MaryAnn to leave, and I just didn’t have time.”
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