OLIVER Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the
poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing,
nor her sudden consenting. But say with me, I love Aliena.
Say with her that she loves me; consent with both that we
may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good, for my father's
house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's will I
estate11 upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.
Enter Rosalind
ORLANDO You have my consent. Let your wedding be
tomorrow: thither will I invite the duke and all's contented13
followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look you, here
comes my Rosalind.
ROSALIND God save you, brother16.
OLIVER And you, fair 'sister'17.
ROSALIND O my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee
wear thy heart in a scarf19!
ORLANDO It is my arm.
ROSALIND I thought thy heart had been wounded with the
claws of a lion.
ORLANDO Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
ROSALIND Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to
swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?
ORLANDO Ay, and greater wonders than that.
ROSALIND O, I know where you are27: nay, 'tis true. There was
never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams and
Caesar's thrasonical29 brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame.' For
your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no
sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they
sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the
reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the
remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair34 of stairs
to marriage, which they will climb incontinent35, or else be
incontinent before marriage; they are in the very wrath36 of
love and they will together: clubs cannot part them.
ORLANDO They shall be married tomorrow, and I will bid38 the
duke to the nuptial. But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into
happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the
more shall I tomorrow be at the height of heart-heaviness,
by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what
he wishes for.
ROSALIND Why then, tomorrow I cannot serve your turn44 for
Rosalind?
ORLANDO I can live no longer by thinking.
ROSALIND I will weary you then no longer with idle talking.
Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, that I
know you are a gentleman of good conceit49: I speak not this
that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge,
insomuch I say I know you are. Neither do I labour for a51
greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief
from you, to do yourself good and not to grace me. Believe
then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since
I was three year old, conversed with a magician, most
profound in his art and yet not damnable56. If you do love
Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out57, when
your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her. I know
into what straits59 of fortune she is driven, and it is not
impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient60 to you, to set
her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is61, and
without any danger.
ORLANDO Speak'st thou in sober63 meanings?
ROSALIND By my life, I do, which I tender64 dearly, though I say I
am a magician: therefore, put you in your best array65, bid
your friends, for if you will be married tomorrow, you shall,
and to Rosalind, if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phoebe
Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.
PHOEBE Youth, you have done me much ungentleness69,
To show the letter that I writ to you.
ROSALIND I care not if I have. It is my study71
To seem despiteful72 and ungentle to you.
You are there followed by a faithful shepherd.
Look upon him, love him: he worships you.
PHOEBE Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
SILVIUS It is to be all made of sighs and tears,
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And I for no woman.
SILVIUS It is to be all made of faith and service81,
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And I for no woman.
SILVIUS It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion and all made of wishes,
All adoration, duty, and observance88,
All humbleness, all patience and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance,
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And so am I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And so am I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And so am I for no woman.
To Rosalind
PHOEBE If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
To Phoebe
SILVIUS If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ORLANDO If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ROSALIND Who do you speak to? 'Why blame you me to love
you?'
ORLANDO To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
ROSALIND Pray you no more of this. 'Tis like the howling
of Irish wolves against the moon.--
To Silvius
I will help you if I can.--
To Phoebe
I would love you, if I could.
To all
Tomorrow meet me all together.--
To Phoebe
I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I'll
be married tomorrow.--
To Silvius
I will content you, if what pleases you contents you,
and you shall be married tomorrow.--
To Orlando
As you love Rosalind, meet.--
To Silvius
As you love Phoebe, meet.-- And as I love no
woman, I'll meet. So fare you well:
I will satisfy108 you, if ever I satisfied man, and you
To Orlando
shall be married tomorrow.--
I have left you commands.
SILVIUS I'll not fail116, if I live.
PHOEBE Nor I.
ORLANDO Nor I.
Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 3
running scene 11 continues
Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey
TOUCHSTONE Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey: tomorrow
will we be married.
AUDREY I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is no
dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world4. Here
come two of the banished duke's pages.
Enter two Pages
FIRST PAGE Well met, honest6 gentleman.
TOUCHSTONE By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song.
They sit
SECOND PAGE We are for you. Sit i'th'middle.
FIRST PAGE Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking9 or
spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only10 prologues
to a bad voice?
SECOND PAGE I'faith, i'faith, and both in a tune12, like two gypsies
on a horse.
Song
It was a lover and his lass,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o'er the green cornfield did
pass
In the spring-time, the only pretty ring-time17,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
And therefore take20 the present time,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
For love is crowned with the prime22
In spring-time, etc.23
Between the acres of the rye,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie
In spring-time, etc.
This carol28 they began that hour,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower
In spring-time, etc.
TOUCHSTONE Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no
great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable33.
FIRST PAGE You are deceived, sir: we kept time, we lost not our
time.
TOUCHSTONE By my troth, yes: I count it but time lost to hear
such a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your voices!
Come, Audrey.
Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 4
running scene 12
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia
DUKE SENIOR Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
ORLANDO I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,
As those that fear they hope and know they fear.
Enter Rosalind, Silvius and Phoebe
ROSALIND Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged5:
To Duke Senior
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, you will
bestow her on Orlando here?
DUKE SENIOR That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
To Orlando
ROSALIND And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?
ORLANDO That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
To Phoebe
ROSALIND You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing?
PHOEBE That will I, should I die the hour after.
ROSALIND But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
PHOEBE So is the bargain.
To Silvius
ROSALIND You say, that you'll have Phoebe, if she will?
SILVIUS Though to have her and death were both one thing.
ROSALIND I have promised to make all this matter even18.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter,
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.
Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you'll marry me,
Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd.
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her
If she refuse me. And from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
Exeunt Rosalind and Celia
DUKE SENIOR I do remember in this shepherd boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour27.
ORLANDO My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
Methought he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutored in the rudiments31
Of many desperate32 studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey
Obscured in the circle34 of this forest.
JAQUES There is, sure, another flood toward35, and these
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very
strange beasts, which in all tongues37 are called fools.
TOUCHSTONE Salutation and greeting to you all!
JAQUES Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-39
minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He
hath been a courtier, he swears.
TOUCHSTONE If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
purgation. I have trod a measure43, I have flattered a lady, I
have been politic with my friend, smooth44 with mine enemy, I
have undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like45
to have fought one.
JAQUES And how was that ta'en up47?
TOUCHSTONE Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon
the seventh cause.
JAQUES How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
DUKE SENIOR I like him very well.
TOUCHSTONE God 'ild you, sir, I desire you of the like52. I press in
here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives53, to
swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and
blood breaks55. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but
mine own, a poor humour56 of mine, sir, to take that that no
man else will. Rich honesty57 dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor
house, as your pearl in your foul58 oyster.
DUKE SENIOR By my faith, he is very swift and sententious59.
TOUCHSTONE According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet60
diseases.
JAQUES But, for the seventh cause. How did you find the
quarrel on the seventh cause?
TOUCHSTONE Upon a lie seven times removed -- bear your body
more seeming, Audrey -- as65 thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of
a certain courtier's beard. He sent me word, if I said his
beard was not cut well, he was in the mind67 it was: this is
called the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again it was
not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please
himself: this is called the Quip Modest. If again it was not
well cut, he disabled71 my judgement: this is called the Reply
Churlish. If again it was not well cut, he would answer, I
spake not true: this is called the Reproof Valiant. If again it
was not well cut, he would say I lied: this is called the
Countercheck Quarrelsome: and so to the Lie Circumstantial75
and the Lie Direct.
JAQUES And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
TOUCHSTONE I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,
nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct, and so we measured80
swords and parted.
JAQUES Can you nominate82 in order now the degrees of the
lie?
TOUCHSTONE O sir, we quarrel in print84, by the book, as you have
books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: The
first, the Retort Courteous: the second, the Quip Modest: the
third, the Reply Churlish: the fourth, the Reproof Valiant:
the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome: the sixth, the Lie
with Circumstance: the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you
may avoid but the Lie Direct, and you may avoid that too,
with an 'if.' I knew when seven justices could not take up91 a
quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of
them thought but of an 'if,' as, 'If you said so, then I said so',
and they shook hands and swore brothers94. Your 'if' is the
only peacemaker. Much virtue in 'if'.
JAQUES Is not this a rare96 fellow, my lord? He's as good at
anything and yet a fool.
DUKE SENIOR He uses his folly like a stalking-horse98 and under
the presentation99 of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind and Celia. Still music
HYMEN Then is there mirth100 in heaven,
When earthly things made even101
Atone102 together.
Good duke, receive thy daughter,
Hymen from heaven brought her,
Yea, brought her hither,
That thou mightst join her
hand with his
Whose heart within his bosom is.
To Duke Senior
ROSALIND To you I give myself, for I am yours.
To Orlando
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
DUKE SENIOR If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
ORLANDO If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
PHOEBE If sight and shape112 be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
To Duke Senior
ROSALIND I'll have no father, if you be not he.--
To Orlando
I'll have no husband, if you be not he.--
To Phoebe
Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
HYMEN Peace, ho! I bar117 confusion:
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events.
Here's eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen's bands121,
If truth holds true contents.--
To Orlando and Rosalind
You and you no cross123 shall part;--
To Oliver and Celia
You and you are heart in heart.--
To Phoebe
You to his love must accord125,
Or have a woman to your lord126.--
To Touchstone and Audrey
You and you are sure127 together,
As the winter to foul weather.--
Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning130,
That reason wonder may diminish
How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song
Wedding is great Juno's133 crown,
O, blessed bond of board and bed134!
'Tis Hymen peoples135 every town,
High wedlock then be honoured:
Honour, high honour and renown,
To Hymen, god of every town!
To Celia
DUKE SENIOR O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!
Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.
To Silvius
PHOEBE I will not eat my word, now thou141 art mine,
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine142.
Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Bois]
JAQUES DE BOIS Let me have audience for a word or two:
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Addressed a mighty power148, which were on foot,
In his own conduct149, purposely to take
His brother here and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprise and from the world154,
His crown bequeathing to his banished brother,
And all their lands restored to them again
That were with him exiled. This to be true,
As You Like It (Folger Shakespeare Library) Page 10
