by Law, Kim
“You should quit having those thoughts,” he told her as he crawled to her side, and when she felt herself blushing because she’d totally been having those thoughts, he turned her face to his.
“I love you, Cord.”
He froze at her words, his lips only a breath away from kissing hers, but his expression didn’t change.
She swallowed. “That’s probably too soon to say, huh?” Talk about feeling vulnerable.
She pulled away and reached for the present she’d brought and told herself not to be hurt because her words had made him look so terrified.
“Here.” She thrust the gift into his hands. “Merry Christmas.”
She looked toward the wall past the end of the bed as he took his time pulling the wrapping paper from the box, and as she stared at the abstract watercolor hanging above the dresser, knowing that she was intentionally avoiding him, she pictured Cord from earlier in the evening. From when she’d tried to show him the gift from his dad and Gloria, and Cord had been intentionally avoiding his dad.
Cord hadn’t mentioned anything else about whatever was going on between the two of them over the last few days, nor had she asked. She hadn’t wanted it to color this weekend as it had last Sunday. But the subject had certainly crossed her mind. She couldn’t figure out what could have him so upset that he’d feared dealing with it might have jeopardized his family’s Christmas.
She’d watched Max tonight as she’d once again pondered what could have happened. And she’d seen nothing to indicate that Max even knew there was a problem. He’d seemed as perplexed by Cord’s avoidance of him as the rest of the family, and not one time had he come across as upset about anything.
“Cord.” She turned back as he ripped through the tape holding the box closed.
“What?” The way he didn’t look at her annoyed her. What was the man’s issue? So she’d said she loved him. So what? Was it that much of a surprise?
Irritation had her grinding her teeth together. The man was supposed to be falling in love with her, too, dammit. “Will you tell me what’s going on with you and your dad?”
He did look at her then. And once again he stilled.
“I thought talking about it might help.” She softened instead of continuing to hold on to her frustration. This was the man she loved. She’d known he might not say the words back to her when she’d blurted them out, but she’d wanted him to know anyway. And she also wanted him to be okay with his father.
The idea of a distance growing between him and his dad—the way it had between her and her dad—bothered her. She didn’t want that for him.
“Can’t you tell me?” she asked.
He lifted the box top off his present, but he never took his eyes off her, then slowly, he nodded his head. “That’s what couples do, right? They talk about things?”
Relief rushed through her. “Yes. They do. They rely on each other to help.”
He paused only a moment longer before saying, “My dad set Doctor Hamm up to try to get me to buy his practice. Doc Hamm is retiring. He caught me while we were at the hospital last weekend to run the idea past me.”
Confusion filled her. This was a good thing, right? He had an opportunity to move home without having to start over.
So, why was he upset?
Her competing thoughts must have shown because he added, “My dad didn’t mention this to me. He went behind my back and set things in motion.”
“Okay . . .” She still didn’t get it. He could own his own practice here in Birch Bay. A practice that was already in place with years’ worth of patients. And he had to know that the Wilde name would have most of them sticking around to give him a chance.
When he didn’t say anything else, she said, “Why would that be so bad, Cord? You’d be here. With me and the baby. With a successful practice.”
He shook his head as he watched her, and she felt like she was missing something key.
“I won’t be manipulated, Maggie. Not by my father nor by anyone. But also, I worked very hard for the job I have. I would be an idiot to walk away from that.”
He would be an idiot to walk away and have a life with her?
She began to feel like this conversation wasn’t going to go the way she hoped.
Pulling at her robe and retying the belt over the top of her stomach, she lifted her chin. “Does it even matter that I’m in love with you?”
She held her breath as she waited for his response. He hadn’t looked away, so she hoped that was a good thing. But he also hadn’t given any indication that her love was what he sought.
“Cord?”
“Why don’t you come to Billings, Maggie?”
“What?” That was the first time he’d even hinted that he might like her in Billings with him.
“Yes.” He nodded, and finally his features began to relax. “We could make a family there. You, me, and the baby.”
He reached behind him to retrieve the present he’d brought for her, then he placed it in her hands. His hands slipped beneath hers, cupping them—which cupped the square box he’d just given her—and he finally offered her something other than a noncommittal stare. He smiled.
“Marry me, Maggie Crowder. Come to Billings with me. I’ll support you. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of our baby.” He nodded again. “It’ll be good between us.”
She sat frozen. Marry him?
That was the last thing she’d expected.
She looked down at the box in her hand, realizing for the first time what must be inside of it. A ring.
An engagement ring.
She gulped. Cord wanted to marry her.
As excitement began to build and happy tears started to push their way out, something else screamed at her to hold back. To not let the thrill of the moment seize control. Something wasn’t right about this.
“Maggie?” Cord nodded toward the box, his smile still in place. “Open it, sweetheart. I want you to marry me.”
He said the words almost as if he were offering her a prize of some sort.
She didn’t open the box. Instead, she pulled one hand free of his and lay it gently over the bow attached to the top. She visualized doing something similar with her heart. As if protecting it. Or not letting it be seen by anyone who might want to hurt it. She didn’t feel good about this moment.
Lowering her eyes, she let her gaze fall before she replied. And when she did reply, it came in the form of a question. “Do you love me, Cord?”
She didn’t look back up because she didn’t want to see his smile disappear.
“You know that I care for you, Maggie. You have to know that.”
She nodded. “I do know that. But do you love me?”
Even knowing that it would hurt, she forced herself to lift her gaze anyway. Because she couldn’t hide from this. And what she saw did hurt. It wasn’t love at all.
“Might you ever love me?” she whispered, her voice shaky now.
“Mags.” He took the box from her and began to peel the paper from it himself. “We can be good together. You know that. We are good. But this is the best I can do, sweetheart. I told you from the beginning that I don’t do—” He seemed to stumble briefly before he finished with, “relationships.”
The look on his face was apologetic, as if he understood completely that he was smack-dab in the middle of a relationship, even as he sat there telling her that he couldn’t do one.
“Then, what is this?” Her patience snapped at the same time that her heart cracked wide open. “What do you think we’ve been doing for the last several weeks, Cord? Simply playing house? Like those two dollhouses downstairs?”
He reached for her as she moved to rise from the bed, and she smacked his hands away.
“Don’t touch me.”
He managed to get the box open at the same time she stepped from the bed, and he pulled out the ring box that sat inside. “Here.” He freed the ring from its velvety cushion. “This is for you.” He thrust the ring at
her, but she refused to look at it.
“I don’t want it.”
“Please, Maggie.” He rose from the bed and came around to stand before her, and dang, but the pleading in his eyes almost got to her. He looked like he would be lost without her. “Take it,” he urged. “Marry me.”
She forced herself to think. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as she suspected. Maybe he was just doing a spectacularly good job at botching a proposal.
Maybe this could turn out okay after all.
Pulling in a deep breath, she let herself look down at the ring, and the sight of it took her breath way. With a large diamond in the middle and a ring of baguettes circling it, it had to have cost a pretty penny. But did the cost of it mean anything? Especially if he wouldn’t even consider that he could let himself fall in love with her?
She didn’t know what to do.
“Maggie.” Cord slid his palms over her shoulders and stooped down to look her in the eyes. “Tell me what to do, baby. How can I fix this?”
And just like that, the answer came to her. And she also understood that she likely wouldn’t like how this was about to go.
“Answer one question for me,” she said, and when he nodded, she went on. “Why would you ask me to marry you if you don’t think you can ever love me?”
He swallowed as understanding dawned on his face. He knew she wouldn’t like any answer he had to give. “Because it’s the right thing to do,” he said. “Because I won’t be tricked into moving back home, and bringing you to Billings is the only way I can take care of both of you.”
That’s what she thought. He was doing it only for the baby. Just like their “relationship” had come about only because of the baby.
Good thing she was used to being let down by those she loved.
It was time to go. She took a step back, needing distance as much as wishing she could rewind the last month of her life. It would be better if she hadn’t let herself fall in love with the idiot. “I don’t need to be taken care of, Cord. Nor do I need someone in my son’s life who doesn’t want to be there.”
“But I do want to be there.”
A lump formed in her throat. He wanted to be in their son’s life. Only. “Good,” she forced the word out. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that in the years to come.”
She’d left her overnight bag in the bathroom, so she moved that way.
“And the other thing I don’t need,” she said as she reached the open doorway and turned back to him, “and something that I won’t stand for, is a relationship that’s no closer than the one I’ve had with my own mother over the past twenty-two years. I deserve love, Cord. True love. And I deserve happiness and a life filled with knowing that the man I choose to be with would walk through fire for me.”
“I would—”
She held up a hand, halting his words. “A man who would at least consider rearranging his life to be with me when the opportunity arose—no matter how that opportunity came about—and a man who didn’t offer me a ring simply as a solution to make sure that he wouldn’t have to do any compromising. You’re trying to manipulate me, Cord. Exactly as you insist you won’t allow to be done to you. And I get it. It’s not a nice feeling. That’s why I won’t stand for it, either.”
She stepped inside the bathroom, already pulling up her phone to text Arsula in order to wake her friend and see if she could get a ride home. And as she rummaged through her bag to dig out clothes to change into, the tears that had waited patiently for her to tell the man whom she loved to go take a flying leap finally released.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dawn had crept into the morning sky ten minutes earlier, and Cord remained where he’d been for the last thirty minutes. He stood at the kitchen window that had the best views of both the eastern sky as well as the view of the new parking lot that had been poured for the purposes of the lodge. The SUV he’d bought for Maggie now sat next to his truck. And as his gaze landed upon it once again, the anger that had been building since Maggie had walked out of their room burned even brighter.
He should never have gotten involved with her.
He should never have invited her to this house.
The coffee cup he’d left on the counter beckoned, reminding him that though he’d brewed an extra strong pot when he’d first come down—and had poured himself a mug full of the stuff—he had yet to take a single drink. And though he’d love the hit of caffeine, he decided that he wouldn’t waste any more time sticking around. If he got out of there now, before anyone else made it out of their room, they might think it an ass move on his part, but at least he would know he’d left without ruining their last memory of the place, too. He couldn’t fake happiness this morning, and he didn’t want to risk tainting the joy of Christmas for everyone.
Reaching for the bag he’d set at his feet, he allowed himself a brief good memory of being with Maggie and the rest of his family as they’d opened gifts the night before—before everything had tanked so terribly—then he turned for the door.
Arsula and Erica both stood just outside the kitchen doorway, arms crossed over their chests and fury carving hatred into their faces.
“You are so done with her,” Arsula declared.
He didn’t need to be told that. “You think?”
“What an ass,” Erica spat out. “I thought better of you than that.”
“Than what?” He played stupid because it fit with his sour mood. Plus, he’d done nothing wrong with Maggie. He’d offered her marriage, and she’d basically spit on it. Nodding toward Arsula, he said, “This one just told me I was done with her. I’m simply agreeing.”
Erica looked as if she wanted to claw his eyes out. “You could at least hurt at the thought of it, you jerk. Arsula said Maggie cried the whole way home.”
“She’s probably still crying,” Arsula pointed out.
He didn’t want to think about the tears he’d seen rolling from Maggie’s eyes when she’d left their room. He’d offered to take her home himself, but she wouldn’t even talk about it. He’d tried handing her the keys to his truck so she could get herself home. Still, she’d refused. She hadn’t wanted anything more to do with him. Ever, according to her.
“If you’re so worried that she’s still crying”—Cord kept his features impassive—“then maybe you should have stuck around to console her.”
He actually jerked back when Arsula lunged for him. Thankfully, Erica stopped her before she could make contact, but he didn’t know how long the restraint would last. And honestly, he deserved whatever either of them wanted to dish out. He knew his statement was cruel. There’d been no need for it. But cruelty beat caring. If he cared . . . his insides might try to break him like they’d tried to do when Maggie had walked out during the middle of the night.
Continuing his act, he motioned back toward the window. “How did her SUV get here, anyway?”
Arsula didn’t answer, and Erica only glared.
“Fine. Don’t talk. It’s no skin off my nose.” He made a show of hitching the strap to his bag over his shoulder, and once again, he headed for the door.
Only, Dani showed up this time. She held Alice in one arm, the baby bright-eyed and looking around, and his sister was rubbing her half-open eyes with her other hand. “What’s going on in here so early?” She yawned. “I thought only babies woke up at this hour.”
“I’ll tell you what’s going on.” It seemed Arsula had found her voice again. “Your good-for-nothing dickweed brother broke our friend’s heart last night.”
Dani was suddenly wide awake. She looked at Cord. “What did he do?” She asked the question carefully, as if expecting to hear something she would also want to kick his ass over, and though she was looking at him, she’d been talking to the others.
Because of that, Cord remained mute. He reached for the now-lukewarm cup of coffee.
Arsula once again crossed her arms over her chest. “He asked her to marry him and to move to Billings so his life wouldn’t be int
errupted.”
Dani blinked, her expression looking as if cold water had been splashed into her face, then she addressed Cord. “You asked Maggie to marry you?” She glanced around at the others. “How did this break her heart?”
“Because when he asked her,” Erica explained, “he also told her that he didn’t—”
“And that he wouldn’t—” Arsula interrupted.
“—ever love her. He said he’d asked her because he was ‘doing the right thing.’”
Dani didn’t immediately reply. Instead, she carefully studied Cord. Cord stared back, not allowing her to read anything he was thinking.
“Is Maggie still here?” Dani finally asked.
“No,” Arsula answered. “Jaden and I took her home about three hours ago.”
Ah, Cord thought. So, his baby brother had been instrumental in returning the vehicle Cord had bought for Maggie. That sounded about right.
Cord took another sip of the coffee. “Are you three about finished talking about me?”
“Who’s talking about you?” Gabe said as he entered the kitchen. At the sight of the three women who stood facing Cord, Gabe’s brows rose. “What am I missing?” He pressed a kiss to his wife’s cheek and murmured, “Good morning, sweetie.”
“Good morning,” Erica replied. “Ivy still sleeping?”
Gabe nodded, then he poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the sink. He looked at Cord. “Why are they talking about you?”
“Because your brother is a jerk.” Dani spoke for the three women. Alice fussed in her mother’s arms, as if picking up on the tension in the room, and Gabe’s expression changed to that of boredom.
“This is news?” Gabe peered over his cup at Dani. “Didn’t I say as much way back in high school?”
Dani scowled. “He isn’t being a take-your-crap-without-asking type of jerk. He’s top class now.”
“Well, he always did like to aim for the top.”
Cord had had enough. “That’s it.” He set down his cup. “I’m out of here.”
“Wait.” Gabe straightened, and his gaze seemed to take in the overnight bag hanging over Cord’s shoulder for the first time. The lackadaisical expression cleared from his face. “What’s going on?” He took in the others, as if open to anyone filling him in. “You can’t leave. The girls haven’t even gotten up yet. We haven’t seen what Santa brought or had breakfast together like we planned.”
