by Harlow James
“Fuck, Piper. You have no idea what you do to me. I’m in uncharted waters here, babe. You’re making me crazy…”
Her hands roam up the ridges of my chest and around my shoulders as her eyes study my face. “I have no idea what’s happening here too, Cash. This wasn’t supposed to happen… you weren’t supposed to happen.” She shakes her head and then brings those dark blue eyes back to mine.
Fear. Curiosity. Hurt. Her eyes tell me more about what she’s thinking than she’s offered me from her words.
“Ditto, babe.” I push off the wall, kiss the top of Piper’s head, and then release her so we can walk to the room where Birdie is waiting for me.
Chapter 12
Piper
“And one, two, three…” My commands filter loudly above the music as I count out the tempo to the movement of the dance I’m teaching this evening, trying to focus on the task at hand despite the eyes I feel burned into my skin from one member of the audience. My mind and body are at war right now, especially because I can see Cash leaning against the doorway of the room I’m in at the retirement center, stalking my every movement. His eyes are focused solely on me as I rest my hand on Baron’s shoulder while we glide across the floor.
“Looks like you have an admirer,” Baron chuckles while we spin around the tile floor, swaying and gliding along to the soft tune as we waltz. There’s only a handful of couples that signed up for this class, but I actually prefer that. It gives me the opportunity to focus more on each person instead of directing a large group.
“Yes, it seems that way, doesn’t it,” I reply, shooting a glance over at Cash as the corner of his mouth tips up.
“Aw, to be young and in love again,” Baron looks to the side thoughtfully, then meets my eyes.
“Uh, we’re not in love. We’ll just call it infatuation for now.”
I swear my internal temperature is borderline feverish just knowing he’s watching me because that’s what Cash does to me—he makes my body react stronger than it ever has to a man and makes me want things from him I should not desire. I tried fighting it, this relentless attraction I feel for him, fearful of how strong our connection is and what that could mean for my life here in Emerson Falls. But apparently my will power has been pulverized by the cocky man smirking at me from across the room.
Cash’s arms are folded across his chest, showing off those muscular biceps and a toned chest beneath his shirt. Of course, I’ve also felt those muscles beneath my fingers, so I know just how massive and strong he really is, a thought that instantly gives me a hot flash and makes my vagina clench.
Maybe I just need sex. However, even that thought makes little sense because I’ve never considered myself to be a very sexual person. However, I guess if you’ve only been with one man who needs a road map to arrive at your clitoris, then maybe that would help explain my lack of desire for it. But just the sight of Cash kick starts my libido and brings on this ache between my thighs that makes me desperate for release, which cannot be a good thing, I’m sure. It means I’ll have that much less control when it comes to him and I already feel myself teetering on the brink of that cliff.
And now somehow I’ve agreed to a date with him, even though I tried not to give myself permission. The thought of what’s happening between us is terrifying, making my chest tight with anxiety. But it also gives me a thrill—a taste of something forbidden, a need to lose myself in someone else and block out all the fear and worry that’s been clouding my mind for the past six months. I still have moments when my reality hits me and I worry I’ll be found. But mostly, I’m finding myself adjusting to this life, even though I’m dying to see my parents and Rachel again soon.
The music ends just as Baron and I break apart. “You did a great job, everyone. Next week, we’ll try salsa,” I exclaim as murmurs of excitement fill the room. “Thanks for the dance, Baron,” I curtsy in front of him as he grins from ear to ear.
“The pleasure was all mine, Piper.” He kisses me on the cheek and then hobbles off.
“Not that you could possibly be any sexier, but watching you move your body like that doesn’t make it any easier to stay away from you.” Cash comes up behind me, brushing his fingers against my hip as he moves around to face me.
“I think we can both agree you don’t follow directions very well anyway,” I crack a smile at him.
“Not when it comes to you.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be playing Scrabble with Birdie?”
“We just finished our game and I thought I’d come over here and wait for you to finish so I can walk you to your car.”
“How thoughtful,” I reply sarcastically. “Let me put the speakers away really quick and we can leave.”
I unhook my phone from the auxiliary cord, load the speakers in a cupboard and lock it up with a key Terrence gave me, grab my bag from the floor, and then lead Cash outside towards my car.
“I just want you to know that I find it extremely attractive that although your job is demanding of you, you still find time to see Birdie as much as you can.”
“That’s the whole reason I’m here, like I told you the other night. Family doesn’t have to be blood. She’s the family I’ve chosen and the person I care about more than anyone. But I’m glad that makes me more irresistible to you.”
“It’s endearing how devoted you are to her, and crazy to think that if I never signed up to volunteer at the retirement center, I never would have known about her.”
“Well, all I know is that through our lives intertwining, I allowed myself to share Birdie with someone else for the first time, and it just feels right sharing her with you. Better yet, I’m really glad we ran into each other today, Piper, so I could finally get you to relent to a date with me,” Cash says, taking my hands in his as I lean up against my car, ready to leave but not wanting to say goodbye just yet.
“Surprisingly, me too. Say, when do I get to join in on a Scrabble game with you and Birdie? I need to scope out your intellectual abilities.”
“You can play with us anytime, babe. But I have to warn you, I’m pretty bad ass at Scrabble.”
“Apparently your confidence doesn’t just pertain to women then, huh?”
“You’re the only one who doesn’t make me feel confident at all,” he says quietly, reaching up to caress the side of my face. “But one thing I am confident about is how desperate you make me feel—desperate for your hands on me, desperate for more of your time, desperate to figure out what’s going on in that mind of yours.”
And if I thought my heart was beating frantically before, Cash’s words make my pulse race instantly—because I feel desperate for him too. My God, what have I gotten myself into?
“So when are you taking me out then?” I say, trying to douse some of the flames burning between us, but still eager to see him again.
“When is your next day off?”
“I go back to work tomorrow for three days, and usually need a day to recover, so Thursday would be the earliest.”
“I can do Thursday. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Six sound good?”
“Yes. That’s perfect.”
“I hope you know what you signed up for, Piper,” he leans down and presses his lips to mine for the second time tonight, and I swear, the more we kiss, the more intense it gets. Cash took it easy on me earlier, but as his body melts into mine, he deepens the kiss and I lose all sense of control. Our tongues swirl, our moans fill the silence in the parking lot, the intense heat passing between our bodies one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever felt.
I surrender to him in a way I’ve never given myself to another person, not even Mason. And everything in my mind tells me not to, but my heart is winning the fight. My gut tells me that Cash really does have this other side to him, and the fact that he’s willing to show me that, well I just know that’s a notion that I have to see through. I thought I knew who he was, but he’s slowly showing me that first impressions aren’t always right.
As Cash slows down the kiss, I feel myself sadden that it’s over. One final nip of my lips and then he pulls away, slowly opening his eyes to meet mine, remaining silent for a beat until a car door shutting in the distance makes us both jump.
“Fuck,” Cash chuckles as I rest my forehead on his chest, both of us laughing off the sound that startled us, my heart now pounding from being caught off guard and kissed intensely. “I need your number please, Piper, so I can get in contact with you for our date. And that way, I can blow your phone up if you ever try to ghost me.”
“Don’t make me change my number, Cash.” I pop my head up and reach for my phone from the pocket of my leggings. Cash types on his screen as I rattle of my number, and then he calls me right there so I have his number as well.
“Have a good night and I’ll see you in a few days,” he says, leaning down for one more quick kiss before releasing my hands and retreating towards his truck.
“You too.” I bite my lip as I watch him walk away, giddy at the prospect of where our date could lead, but trying not to get my hopes up too much. Catching my breath before getting in my car, I settle in my seat and head for my apartment, anxious to call Rachel and fill her in.
“Yes, girl! Good for you!” She exclaims when I tell her I agreed to a date with Cash.
“Really? Because I’m going back and forth about this, Rachel. I’m so excited, yet I feel guilty for that… like I’m cheating on Mason, or something, which is ludicrous, I know.”
“Don’t feel guilty, Pfeiffer. You and Mason are done, and even if this whole mess gets resolved, are you ever going to take him back?”
I shake my head frantically, even though she can’t see me. “Absolutely not. Not only did he lie to me and put my life in danger, but I never felt for him like I do for Cash.” My confession makes me gasp. Holy shit, did I just say that out loud?
A sharp intake of air comes through the line when I realize Rachel is just as shocked by my words as I am. “Oh my Gosh, Pfeiffer,” she whispers. “This isn’t just some crush, is it? This isn’t just about wanting to ride him hard either, huh?”
“Jesus Christ, Rachel! When you say it that way, you make me sound like a slut.”
“No, there is nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys sex, Pfeiffer. But obviously you’re attracted to each other, which is what I thought your interest in him was purely based upon. But after you said that—well, clearly there’s more going on here than just a need to get each other into bed.”
I sigh, now even more apprehensive about what I’m getting myself into. “I just feel so indecisive, Rachel. He’s so freaking hot—like, it should be illegal to be that attractive. But I know there is more to him, and he’s desperate to show me that. I can’t help it. I want him, in more ways than one. And it’s terrifying. And now he’s taking me on a date, where he’s going to ask me questions about my life and I have to lie to him. I just don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Just take it slow then, Pfeiffer. You can share things about your life, just try to leave your answers free of too many details. And when you get the chance, take him for a test drive in the sack, obviously,” she says and I can’t help but laugh. “But this is just a first date. See what’s there before you start freaking out completely. That’s all you can do. If there is anything you should have learned in the past six months, it’s that people can surprise you. Mason obviously caught you off guard, and not in a good way. But sometimes people surprise us in the most unexpected ways, and maybe part of the purpose of this shit show was to lead you to someone like Cash.”
“God, I hope this doesn’t all come crashing down like that did. I will definitely let you know how it goes though.”
“You’d better. Love you, Pfeiffer.”
“Love you too, girl. Get some rest,” I say before we end the call and I get ready for bed.
The next morning I do my laundry and run to the grocery store before driving across town to the hospital to start my first shift of three.
“Well, don’t you look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?” Jess greets me right after I clock in.
I give her a look that instantly makes her laugh. “Who talks like that?”
She shrugs. “Honestly, I have no idea why those words just came out of my mouth.”
“Okay, let’s just move past it then, shall we?”
“Let’s. So, how were your days off? I mean, the last time I saw you, I was a witness to you smacking Cash Williams upside the head,” Jess leans back in her chair, waiting for me to give up more information.
“Well, funny story,” I start but she cuts me off as she pops upright in her seat.
“No, you didn’t… you slept with him?”
“What? No! But he did kiss me, and then asked me out. I told him no, but then we ran into each other and then he asked me out again, so I said yes,” I grimace as I wait for Jess’s reaction, but she just sits there, stunned.
“Wow. Cash Williams asked out a woman not once, but twice? You know, I told you that Cash is not the dating type, but this is abnormal behavior for him, Piper. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s actually serious about you.”
I sit down next to her and lower my voice. “You think? Because I don’t want to get hurt. It’s been years since I’ve been on a date and I’m so nervous, I think I might be sick.”
Jess laughs at me. “I mean, people can change. I’d still say to be careful. Don’t let your guard down too much, but from what I know and have seen, this is definitely new territory for Cash.”
I let out a breath of relief as Jess confirms some doubts I had where Cash is concerned, mainly if this was all an act. I know what I feel when we’re together and the physical connection is obviously off the charts, but part of me was still weary to believe him that this was not just some challenge to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. I guess I’m shocked that I’ve been here for about two months and I’m already dating. My last boyfriend and I were together for eight years…” I start to share and then catch myself before I say anything else.
“Wow. Eight years? What happened?”
Think, Pfeiffer. What do you say now? What detail can you give that will appease her and not invite too many more questions?
“Uh, he died,” I say and then instantly regret it—although the absence of Mason from my life because of his lies feels final like death would.
“Oh my gosh, Piper. I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. How long ago?” Jess reaches out to grip my shoulder, rubbing soothing circles.
“A little over a year ago,” I lie, avoiding her eyes.
“Well then, I’d say it’s time to get back out there. If anything, Cash will rock your world in the sack and help heal your broken-hearted vagina.”
“Oh God, Jess. My vagina is fine.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. You’d better let me know how everything goes, okay? And if Cash hurts you, I will make it my personal responsibility to seek retribution. No one gets to hurt my friends.” Jess reaches for the mouse on the computer, waking up the screen and then scans her ID badge in front of the sensor, logging her in to the system.
Irony hits me as I smile over at my new friend, who in just a few short weeks has shown me loyalty and understanding more than some people I knew for years back home. A wave of contentment washes over me when I realize she is yet another aspect of my new life that has been a blessing, when for months all I’ve been able to focus on is everything I left behind.
“I will. Thank you. So, catch me up to speed,” I declare as Jess fills me in on the cases currently filling up the emergency room and we spend yet another night running the ER.
Three long days, twelve hour shifts that turn into fifteen, and a whole lot of anxiousness about my impending date passes by, bringing me to Thursday finally as I try to kill time before Cash picks me up for our date.
The last time I went on a date I was eighteen. Mason had picked me up from my parent’s house on a Saturday
night during the Spring of our senior year and my birthday was just a week before. My parents insisted I wasn’t allowed to date until I turned eighteen, so the minute I did, several boys all jumped at the chance to take me out. But Mason was such a gentleman and from a family we had known for years. We grew up together, we’d known each other while navigating puberty and AP Classes, and he was cute and smart and respectful to girls, unlike some of the other boys my age. So when he asked me on a date, I instantly accepted.
My gut told me he was the right one to choose, and for the most part, I don’t regret that decision. But then time carried on, we grew up and apparently apart, because the man I agreed to marry would never have jeopardized my safety. No, that wasn’t the man I knew. But apparently, I never knew him as well as I thought I did.
As I physically prepare for my date with Cash—showering, applying my make-up, curling my hair, and dressing in a tight fitting pair of dark blue jeans and a cream-colored sweater—I struggle to fight my memories of Mason and the mistakes I made with him, hoping that the same thing won’t happen with this new man that makes my stomach flip. Because although I barely know him, I feel that if Cash were to betray me or hurt me like Mason did, I might not recover. A man like Cash is the type that sinks their touch into your soul, leaving you completely changed by their presence. We haven’t even slept together and I know he could wreck me. He’s the type of man you read about in romance novels—the man who catches you off-guard and tips your world off its axis before you ever realize you’re teetering off balance.
Giving my lips one last coat of gloss, I rub them together and then flash a smile in the mirror, pleased with the reflection staring back at me. My hair is softly curled to perfection, my ass looks great in these jeans, and the butterflies swarming in my stomach tell me that this night is going to change everything. Cash’s aspiration for this date has set the bar high—a limit I’m not sure my mind is letting me fully absorb.
