by Harlow James
“God, I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you more.”
“So tell me… what was it like leaving like that? I mean, I wanted to leave home, couldn’t wait to get away from my parents and the hate they spewed. But you had a loving home you left behind…”
I shake my head, swallowing down the sorrow I felt during my time away. “It was awful, I’m not going to lie. I would call my parents and beg for them to let me come back home, but my father was so afraid. It was his fear that kept me away. That, and I had the NCLEX to study for, which took most of my focus. And then I realized I had to change my thinking about the entire situation. I started to look at it as an adventure that I never would have been able to experience. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t happy about it all day, every day. But there were moments when I realized I was in control over my thoughts about the situation. And when I finally got my nursing job, I knew I did the right thing. Nursing is my calling, and I couldn’t imagine never getting to experience that.”
“What about your job at the hospital?”
“I called and told them I returned home to heal. They were understanding and said my position would be waiting for me in the event I returned.”
“What about your living situation? I went by your apartment that night and know your parents took all of your stuff back home with you.”
“They actually donated most of it. But yes, I am currently without a roof over my head, if that’s what you’re asking,” I say, searching his eyes for his opinion on that piece of information.
“No you aren’t. You’re going to live with me.”
“Are you sure? I can get my own place, Cash.”
Shaking his head, he pulls me flush to his body. “No way. I went six weeks without you and my entire life before you ever crashed into my world. I’m not letting you go again.” Resting his lips on mine, we stay there for a moment, soaking in each other.
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
“Yes, I am. I fucking love you, Piper. You’re it for me. In fact,” he jumps up from the bed, searching for a pair of pants and pulling them up his legs. “I need to show you something.”
“What? Now?” I look around the room frantically, searching for a clock to check the time.
“Yes, now. It’s almost midnight anyway, so this is perfect.” He reaches for me, pulling me up from the bed and throws my clothes at me. “Get dressed.”
“Yes, sir,” I reply with a mock salute, laughing as I put my clothes back on and follow him to the living room. Cash grabs his keys and then my hand, ushering us outside to his truck.
As we drive, he holds my hand, kissing my knuckles and licking each one with just the tip of his tongue, making me yearn for him again. I must let out a small moan because he starts laughing beside me.
“Patience, baby. We have forever, now. I’ll make you feel good again later,” he winks as we pull into the parking lot of the town hall.
“Come on,” he flicks his head, encouraging me to follow him. Once he locks the truck, he laces our fingers together and takes me behind the building to the park that we walked around during our first date.
“Cash, why are we here? First, it’s late. Second, it’s dark and cold. And third…”
“Will you just let me surprise you? I was on my way to pack to fly to New York when I saw you on my doorstep tonight, okay?”
“You were?” I ask, stopping in my steps.
“Yes. I was gonna pull off the grand surprise and declaration of love, but you beat me to it, woman.”
I can’t help but laugh and then press my lips to his. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.”
“Me neither. But I still have something I can surprise you with, so let me.” He pulls me forward again towards the clearing in the trees where we danced and then discovered the locks on the fence. Sure enough as I let him lead me, the shininess of the metal hits my eyes when I see the sight that mesmerized me that night.
“Why are we here, Cash?”
We stop right next to the fence as Cash turns to face me, holding both of my hands in his. “When you were back home and I was here, waiting for some form of communication from you, it hit me that no matter what you had to tell me or how much time you needed, you would always hold the key to the lock on my heart.”
His words make me smile as he follows suit. “Cute,” I wink.
“I thought so,” he winks back. “Anyway, at that moment I knew that I wanted to put locks on this fence for you and me. When we discovered this that night, I didn’t understand how a person could feel so strongly about someone to make a declaration like this. But it only took a few more weeks to figure out that I could one day, but only with you.” He bends down to the fence and holds up two teal blue locks in his palm. On one it says CASH. On the other, PIPER.
“Oh, my God, Cash!” My hands instantly gravitate to my mouth, covering my shock and awe as tears fill my eyes.
“It’s you and me, baby. I want it all with you.” His declaration is everything I need to hear, and then I remember the last thing I need to tell him.
“Cash,” my hands fall as his face does too. “I love this, I do. And I love you. But there is one more thing I need to tell you.”
“Okay,” he says as his eyes bounce back and forth between mine.
“There was a complication from the gun shot,” I start, struggling to find the courage to utter the rest. “I… I lost one of my ovaries and the fallopian tube attached to it.”
His eyes bounce rapidly between mine. “What are you saying?”
I inhale deeply. “I’m saying, there’s a very small chance I’ll actually be able to have a child one day.”
“Fuck. Okay,” he exhales. “God, I’m sorry, baby,” he says as he pulls me into his arms.
“It’s not impossible. It will just be hard. I still have one ovary, which is good. But I’ve always had irregular cycles, so ovulation will be a struggle. I may need to take fertility drugs or do in vitro to have a child… and I don’t want you to miss out on that.”
He shoves us apart slightly and then palms the sides of my face. “Is that what you’re worried about? Letting me down?”
I nod as my tears slip away.
“Fuck, Piper,” he leans down to kiss me as I struggle to breathe. “I am never missing out on anything if you are in my life. Having kids, being with the same person for the rest of my life… those were things I never imagined until I met you. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” I manage to get out.
“I want kids, I do. But I only want them with you. And if that means we have to jump through hoops or do things the less conventional way, then so be it. I will be there, through everything, alright? Don’t ever fucking doubt that.”
My lips tremble as I take in his strength, knowing I’m going to need it when things get frustrating and I find myself in the low of disappointment.
“Okay. If you’re sure…”
“I’m fucking positive. Fuck,” he grates and then drops to his knee in a flash.
“What… what are you doing, Cash?”
“Marry me, Piper? Marry the fuck out of me? Make me the happiest man on the earth? I want you, baby. All of you. Your scars, your past, your present. I want to be by your side through everything. I never thought that the idiot I thought couldn’t read a street sign would turn out to be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.” We both start laughing at that thought. “But heaven knows I needed you more than you need me.”
“That’s not true. I need you so much, Cash. You’ve shown me what it means to really live.”
“Then let’s be together, babe. Forever. Marry me?”
I nod frantically, bending down so I’m at eye level with him now. “Yes.”
He crushes his mouth to mine and we fall onto the grass as he rolls on top of me, kissing me breathless and showing me how much he truly loves me, how he can’t live without me, and how we could never be apart again.
“Shit, I don’t have a r
ing,” he mumbles against my lips as I giggle beneath him.
“It’s okay. That was the most romantic proposal ever.”
“Maybe I could just give you a big bottle of ketchup instead. I bet you’d like that even more than a diamond.”
“Oh, don’t tease me, Deputy.”
“Fuck, I love when you call me that,” he growls in my ear, pressing his hard length in between my legs as I grind against him.
“I know. Take me home, Cash. Make love to me all night.”
“I’m gonna make love to you forever,” he promises, giving me one more kiss before he pulls us from the ground and we race through the cold night towards his truck, towards our future, and towards a love we found in each other.
Epilogue
Cash
Two and a Half Years Later
“Babe, we’ve got to go!” I shout down the hall, knowing that Piper is taking forever in the bathroom getting ready, but this is normal.
“Just a second!” She calls back, and even though the woman takes her sweet ass time putting herself together, I know the end result will be worth it.
We’re headed to a wedding today for my good friend, Luke. Yes, that same Luke that I used to work with as a deputy. Except he’s not a deputy anymore, but a professor at the community college, and he finally found someone to build a life with after losing his wife years ago.
“Okay, I’m ready,” my wife’s voice calls as I turn and take in the vision of her walking towards me, dressed in a sky blue dress that makes her eyes pop, her long blonde hair draped around her face in soft curls, her lips coated in a shimmery pink gloss that makes me want to devour her. She looks stunning, just like she always does—because some things never change.
But a lot has changed in the last two years. For starters, I’m a married man. That’s right, ladies. Cash Williams is off the market and proud as fuck about it. After my impromptu proposal in the park on New Year’s Eve, Piper and I wasted no time tying the knot. We bought a ring that she loved, elegant and classy, just like her, and married each other in the park by the lock fence on a beautiful spring day that April. The image of her walking towards me in white is one I will savor until my very last breath, the vision of my angel that saved me from a life without love. Birdie beamed with pride as she watched me surrender to love, a thing I never thought I would let overtake me. But boy, am I glad I did. Piper’s parents flew out here for the occasion of course, and her best friends Jess and Rachel stood by her side. Rachel actually lives here now, and is the bride in today’s wedding.
That’s right folks. One of my best friends is marrying Piper’s best friend on a gorgeous Saturday in June, and the love stories just keep on coming.
“You look stunning, sweetheart,” I walk to meet her, running my fingers down her hair and then over her hip, yanking her to me. “Do you mind being a little late? I can’t get over how fucking gorgeous you look in that dress and I just want to rip it right off of you,” I grit through my teeth, running my nose along the column of her neck, watching the goosebumps appear on her skin.
“You were the one that was just rushing me, sir. Now you want to get me naked after all of this work?” She gestures down her body with one hand. “I don’t think so. Besides, we have a pit stop to make before we arrive.”
“We do?” I ask as she turns to walk around me, leaving me in the hallway with a raging hard-on. “Well, fuck.”
I follow her outside, making sure to grab the present and my wallet before I shut and lock the door. “Who says you’re driving?” I inquire as she opens the driver’s side door and hoists herself into the truck.
“Do you know where the pit stop is?” She questions, giving me that snark that just turns me on more than anything nowadays.
“Well, no. But couldn’t you just tell me?”
“Well, then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” she smiles, cranking the engine and then pulling out onto the street.
While she drives, I take the time to study my wife. Her smile is wide today, which means she must be having a good day. After we got married, we decided to actively try to have a baby, knowing it could take us longer to conceive than normal. After about six months with no luck, we saw a fertility specialist who recommended hormones first to help Piper ovulate regularly. Still, a year later, we had not one positive pregnancy test. Then we decided that in vitro fertilization was the next option before we considered surrogacy. Piper has dreamt of carrying a child her entire life, so she wanted to go through every option before we landed on surrogacy. And I promised to do whatever she wanted.
It’s been months of tests and preparation and thousands of dollars, but we’re closing in on the date to try for implantation. Nothing could have prepared me for the roller coaster of emotions we would go through in this process, though. I promised her I would stand by her. But holding her while she cried, knowing there was nothing I could do to change the circumstances made me feel like less of a man at times. So I focused on what I knew I could do with certainty—love her. I show her every day what she means to me—surprising her with coffee from Skye’s Creations, taking her on trips when we cash in our vacation time, cooking for her, always having ketchup stocked in the fridge, and playing dirty Scrabble every chance we get.
I remind her of what brought us together. Because even if we never have a child, my life with her in it is all I ever wanted. And besides, all of our friends have plenty of babies to love on now, which is both amazing and heartbreaking to witness, knowing our struggle to conceive our own.
When Piper pulls into the parking lot of the town hall, I’m baffled by what we’re doing here. The wedding is at the college where Luke and Rachel met, under the gazebo overlooking the lake on the property. It’s a good thirty-minute drive at least, so I know we need to get a move on if we’re going to make it in time and perform our duties as part of the wedding party.
“Piper… what the hell are we doing here?”
“Just follow me please,” she says, reaching for something from her purse and then stepping out of the truck, swaying her hips as she walks away from me, hypnotizing me to follow her.
When she walks through the clearing in the trees, I know exactly where she’s going.
“The lock fence? What is this about babe?” I finally catch up to her, purposely staying behind her so I could ogle her ass while she walked in front of me.
“Well, today is a very special day, Cash,” she starts as she turns to face me and her eyes well with moisture.
“Babe, don’t cry. You’re going to ruin your make-up.”
“I packed some in my purse so I can fix it.”
“Did you know you would be crying?” She nods. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, her lips trembling, and then rising in a smile. “Nothing is wrong, Cash. These are happy tears.”
“Okay….” I’m not going to lie, she’s frightening me right now a bit.
Suddenly she outstretches her hand and opens her fingers, revealing a small lock painted in teal blue. It’s not tiny, like the lock you would find on a girl’s diary, and it’s definitely not the same size as the two that hold our names together on this fence. It’s somewhere in between, which is exactly where my thoughts are right now as I try to figure out what she’s telling me.
“We need to add this lock to the fence, Cash—with ours…” It takes me a minute before the realization hits me and I choke.
“Are… are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I can’t help it, my tears come forward now too. Piper turned me into this man that cries all the fucking time, but I own it. She makes me feel everything.
She nods. “Yes. Our family, our love is growing, Cash. We’re having a baby,” she smiles wide, revealing that beautiful smile that drew me in from the first moment I saw it.
“What? How?” My mind is racing along with my heart, my entire body buzzing with excitement and disbelief and pure joy.
She wipes away tears from under her eyes and then continues. “I
went for my appointment on Thursday to do the final check before we pick a date for implantation and the ultrasound tech saw the baby. We did it, Cash. We made a baby. Part you and part me.”
I drop to my knees, pressing my face to her stomach, wrapping my arms around her, holding the two of them so tightly like I’m afraid they might disappear, and thanking God on my knees for this woman and this life I’ve been given. “I can’t believe this, sweetheart. I’m so fucking happy,” I look up at her, her eyes discarding tears like it’s their job.
“Me too, Cash. So please, put this on there,” she lifts her hand with the lock still inside. “Because even if this baby doesn’t stick, I want to remember this moment, this feeling of knowing we beat the odds. We overcame and our love healed us and changed our lives and hopefully created this new one for us to love.”
“I fucking love you so much, baby,” I stand, kissing my wife with every ounce of my soul—the woman that captivated me and now owns me, the woman that I never knew I needed more than anyone in my life. Our tongues meld together, our arms encircle one another, encapsulating our baby between us, a real-life, physical extension of our love.
“I love you too, Cash. And look,” she says, turning the lock upside down to show me the numbered combination. “I set the combo to the due date.”
“02-28-23,” I read out loud.
“You know what’s crazy?” She asks me.
“What?”
“That is the day I left home. The day that my parents forced me into a new life, a life that brought me to you. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.”
All I can do is shake my head as my breath catches in my throat. Life has put us through hell and back, but I always knew we would get our happily ever after.
And when I held my son for the first time, who was born on that exact date nine months later, I promised to never let him know a life without love, to never fear that emotion or run from it. Because the love I received from his mother, is a love that changed my life.
