Box creates in us a pressing urge to return to the familiar conditions of reality and promises to bring us back into the safety of our marshmallow zone. Without making certain efforts, paradise is quickly lost. Anyway, it seems easier to go create normal again than to stay in heaven. We efficiently generate the same conflicts, the same fears, the same resentments, the same betrayals, the same insecurities, and all of the same problems that decorated our normal living environment. Box is happy in a standard sort of way.
Our Box efficiently exchanges paradise on earth for a hazardous waste dump, and then proudly says, “Now you are safely back with me. Home at last!” Victory is sweet for the Gremlin.
Here is the secret to living happily ever after: In order to live happily ever after, make a wild leap through the open window. Many times you will have to make this leap. Every time Box will say, “Hey! What are you trying to do? Fly? Whoever said you can fly?” Your answer comes without hesitation, “I said I can fly!” And then you leap.
You leap out through the same window that opened when paradise first arrived. Yes, that window. You know that window. It did not disappear. It did not go anywhere. That same window is always still there. You can locate that window in the dark. You know the feel of the draft it creates when the glass slides up and the bottom drops away. And you know that you can make the leap. You did it before. You can do it again. You can do it always. Now or never, you just leap.
You leap out the window into the paradise of true Love, and then you just keep flying.
How do you fly? This is a ridiculous question. Although it sounds so reasonable, it is utterly ridiculous to ask how to fly.
Just to satisfy your clever little mind I will provide you with an answer.
SECTION 20-B
Flying Instructions
These are the seven instructions for flying.
First of all, to fly, do not ask the question, “How do you fly?” Asking this question is a distraction from flying. Asking the question, “How do you fly?” is a defense against flying. You already know how to fly. Human beings are designed to fly. Human beings are not designed to live within the positional confines of a rigidly known psychological defense strategy. You are designed to live in the fluidic groundless unknowable process of evolutionary expansion. Flying is your nature.
Second, do not look down. As soon as you look down, the Box gets linear and sees all the well-known problems inherent in flying. “Hmmm, I wonder how high we are? What’s the airspeed and temperature up here? How much fuel do we have left? How did we get up this high anyway? What is that thing down there? Aaaarrrggghhh!” Crash!
Third, take yourself lightly. The idea is old and trite, but that does not make it untrue: Love is angel food. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. Stay light by constantly dropping the baggage of considerations about past and future. Humor is grease to slip free of seriousness. Now is almost weightless. If it is heavy it is not Love. Stay unhookable by staying connected to Nothingness. Nothingness cannot be hooked onto by anything. A small “Disk of Nothing” (see Glossary) helps to keep you angelweight.
MAP OF FLYING
Shifting shape from Box A to Box B is traumatic enough. The liquid state was scary as hell. You quickly reestablish rigidity in your new form and find positions to support the views from Box B. One day the fog shifts at the horizon and it becomes apparent that there is a Box C. What? Nobody ever told you about Box C before! Box C cannot be seen from Box A; it only comes into view from Box B. “I wonder what that could be about?” you wonder. Soon your curiosity gets the better of you and you make the leap. Again you enter the liquid state. Again your Box shifts shape and soon you find yourself in Box C. Only this time the journey through the liquid state took a little longer. And Box C is a little smaller and less stable than Box B. The smoke settles and the dust clears. Slowly over the next horizon a new image comes into view. “Oh my God! Box D? Inconceivable! Who ever heard of a Box D? I wonder what is over there?” The liquid state comes a little easier this time. The pattern of solid to liquid to solid feels more familiar. After a few more times you are headed for Box L. At that point the length of time between solid states becomes longer than the time resting in any particular form. Your strategy shifts from being less oriented towards the defensive positionality of form than to the expansive process of formlessness. In this moment you discover through experience that human beings are in fact designed to fly!
Fourth, delight. What delights you? What delights the other? Use these questions as your compass. Play. Discover. Go nonlinear. Totally stop. Be. Open. Try again. Spin. G[r>jak#L*! (This is the spelling for a delightful activity for which we do not yet have a word.) Navigate the space of relationship toward delight happening. Why not? Delight is alive, so you will always have a moving target. What is delightful now is not necessarily delightful now. Delight only happens now.
Fifth, create. Relationship is ongoing nonlinear creation. Love and creating are the same experience; they come out of the same field. You are a being who lives when Love flows through you, when you have someone to give Love to and they are receiving it. Keep creating new ways to express Love. Create ways to Love out of nothing but Love itself. You source Love. Love does not come from somebody else. Love is all there is. Instead of using your massive powers of creating to create things now to be exactly how they were three seconds ago, use your massive powers of creating to create Love fresh each three seconds.
Sixth, learn to fly solo. You will never be able to be happy with another person if you cannot already tolerate the intensity of being radiantly happy all by yourself. No matter what the circumstances, if you really wanted to be happy, who could stop you? If you really want to be happy right now, prove it.
Seventh, so what? There are many reasons for not flying. So what? Many people will not understand what you are doing. They might be offended. They might not believe you. So what? Flying might be impossible. It might not be permitted by your culture and times. It might be outside the conceivability limits of your relatives or neighbors. So what? You get the idea. So what?
These are all the flying instructions you will ever need. If you get them, try to teach them to others. Have fun! And, thanks for asking.
There are some Women we know who have taken back their power from the patriarchy without resentment. These Women have learned to keep their center, hold space, stay present, make contact, feel their feelings with clarity, and create Archetypal Relationship possibilities for their Men. These Women serve something greater than themselves. These Women are Pirate Sorceress Warrioress Queen Goddess Women. These Women live with Kings because they are Kingmakers.
These Women love what they do, even if they fail, because they know that what they do or do not do does not change who they are. They are Kingmakers.
Just the Edgework excitement of trying empowers these Women, because they are trying to do the impossible. As Lee Lozowick says, “Nothing less than trying to do the impossible pays respect to the honor of being born in this world and having a human life.”
When these Women are done for the day (or the night) and they are about to part company, they look each other straight in the eyes and with a slight curve in the side of their mouth and a radiant sparkle in their eyes, they challenge each other to continue with their experiments. In a steady voice full of courage, joy and dignity they say to one another, “Keep Kinging!”
And that is exactly what they do.
Sitting There Together With Nothing
The Lord giveth
And the Lord taketh away.
But He taketh away not everything.
He taketh away not the bodily memory of the experience
Of what it was that He hath given.
And if what He gave was heaven on Earth,
If what He gave was so precious
That all other experiences pale in comparison, then all that remains
Is less than it was before the Lord giveth.
Even the most mag
nificent sunset, the most satisfying dessert,
The most luscious orgasm, the best movie,
Has no worth compared to heaven on Earth.
I have discovered an exception to the rule that all things are transitory.
The discovery is that all things are transitory
Except longing.
Longing remains.
Longing never fades away.
Even when heaven returns the longing for heaven remains.
Longing for heaven in heaven?
What, am I crazy???
No.
I am ruined.
Ruined.
So let this be a warning to you.
The house of the rising sun
Looks so tempting from the outside, but run away.
Run away before it is too late.
Heaven on Earth can vanish
But your longing for heaven to come back to Earth will not.
And they do not tell you how intensely the longing aches.
Ah, well.
You will not heed this warning.
(I did not.)
So I’ll be seeing you,
Late in the night.
After everyone else has gone home to something,
You and I will be sitting there together
With nothing
In the tavern of Ruin. – C.C.
Glossary
Possibility Management Terms Used in This Book
From the Greek word “glossa” meaning “tongue” was derived the Latin “glossarium” meaning “a difficult word requiring further explanation.” Middle English extended the meaning further with the word “glossarye” meaning “a list of terms in a special subject, field or area of usage with accompanying definitions.” The special area of usage in this case is Possibility Management. Most of the words in this Glossary are not new or difficult so much as being used in a context that unfolds deeper or more specific meanings from them. I look forward to the day when such a glossary would be unnecessary because the meanings were already understood through common usage. In this Glossary I have capitalized only the terms that remain capitalized in the text of this book, along with the term currently being defined. Also, I include a “See:” reference at the end of each definition to direct you to related words that are defined in this Glossary.
ACTION – In Possibility Management an Action is defined as any gesture that has energy. This definition for Action is more refined than our typical understanding of an Action that only includes gross physical movement. In Possibility Management, examples of Actions include: physical motion, speaking a word, having an idea, insinuation, inspiration, feeling, placing your attention, moving your attention, placing your center, keeping your center, making a conscious or unconscious wish, internal emotional reactions, declaring, asking, choosing, and so on. In general, the more subtle the Action, the more energy it contains. (See: Center, Declaring, Purpose, Results)
ADULT (RESPONSIBLE ADULT or ADULT EGO STATE; KING or QUEEN ARCHETYPE) – As defined by Dr. Eric Berne in his Map of Parent Adult Child Ego States, an ego state is a self-contained set of ideas, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors with which a person is identified. In the Child ego state you have no power because you are stuck in the past. In the Parent ego state you have no power because you are being adaptive to others. The Adult ego state is where you have power because you own your center, use your own voice, minimize your here and now in a spacious present and take responsibility for what is. The Responsible Adult also turns out to be the gateway to Archetypal Man and Archetypal Woman. (See: Center, Communicator, Creator, Doer, Goddess, Identification, Map of Possibility, Now, Responsibility, Stellating Archetypes)
ARCHETYPAL PRINCIPLE – (See: Principle)
ARCHETYPE – The Archetypal terminology used in Radiant Joy Brilliant Love comes from Possibility Management and is not derived from or associated with the work of Carl Gustav Jung. Jung evolved his deep-psychology “archetypes” in reference to the psychoanalytical context that he inherited from his teacher Sigmund Freud. Instead of relying on Jung’s experiences, we have done our own empirical research for over thirty years. These experiments brought us directly into contact with the same sources that Jung must have tapped into to formulate his particular languaging. Instead of a psychological context, we researched from a Possibility context. Because we went fishing with a different net, we caught a different sort of fish, although we fished in the same sea. In Possibility Management, Archetypes are energetic configurations hardwired into the matrix of every human being. Archetypes are either responsible or irresponsible. Irresponsible Archetypes are awakened during childhood and used to create a workable defense strategy. Responsible Archetypes lie dormant until they are consciously initiated or stellated through a modern rite of passage. Before stellating responsible Archetypes, a human being must first be capable of Adult responsibility, which does not occur until about fifteen years of age. Our modern culture does not provide a rite of passage process though which you can activate your responsible Archetypes, so they remain switched off. If you want your responsible Archetypes activated you are forced to go outside of the culture and arrange it for yourself. This takes a lot of courage and entails certain real risks. Actions of people who have not gone through the process of stellating their responsible Archetypes are typically dominated by the Shadow Principles of their irresponsible Archetypes. Archetypes are fueled by the energy of feelings. Anger fuels the responsible doer (Warrior / Warrioress) or the irresponsible persecutor. Sadness fuels the responsible communicator (Lover) or the irresponsible victim. Fear fuels the responsible creator (Magician / Sorceress) or the irresponsible rescuer. And gladness fuels the responsible Adult (King Man / Queen Goddess Woman) or the irresponsible Gremlin. (The original idea for the names of these four Archetypes came from the title of a book by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King Warrior Magician Lover.) (See: Adult, Feelings, Gremlin, High Drama, Low Drama, Principle, Stellating Archetypes)
ASKING – Asking is one of the three powers that you can use for creating possibility (the other two are declaring and choosing). Asking is particularly useful for navigating space. A question acts like an iron hook with a rope attached. When you throw the hook into the unknown, what you grab onto depends on the design of the hook. There are 18 standard questions to Ask, each with its own purpose. If a question grabs hold of an answer, you can pull on the rope with your attention. The pulling slides you and everyone you are in contact with into the new space where the question landed. A particularly effective way to open new perspectives is to confront the present perspective with a question. Sometimes a question is too real to be Asked. If a real question is Asked, it may be destroyed by an answer – then you must go find yourself another real question. An unasked real question sits in you until your Box conforms to the shape of the question and you become the answer. (See: Attention, Dangerous Questions, Navigating Space, Real Question)
ATTENTION (CONSCIOUS ATTENTION) – Conscious Attention means paying Attention to your Attention, being aware of what you are aware of, or perceiving what you are perceiving with. Engaging Conscious Attention helps build matrix upon which your consciousness can grow. Attention can also become conscious through paying Attention to your purpose and considering, “What is my purpose right now?”, or through deciding whether to use “point Attention” or “field Attention.” Your Attention is valuable because where your Attention goes your energy flows. If you do not have your Attention, something else does. Businesses spend billions every year trying to get your Attention. They do this for two reasons: 1) Because it works – most people’s Attention is unguarded. 2) Because it is worth it – when they have your attention, they have your wallet. Putting your Attention on your Attention initiates a process that makes you less susceptible to being used for other people’s purposes and therefore more capable of consciously creating high drama, exploring extraordinary human and Archetypal Relationship, and fulfilling your destiny. (See: Center, Destiny, High Drama, Matrix,
Purpose, Relationship)
BAG OF THINGS – Your Bag of Things hangs from your “Possibility Manager Tool Belt.” Within your Bag of Things is a gap between worlds. What is in the gap? Nothing. What is possible in the gap? Everything. Whenever you require a non-segued idea you simply reach into your Bag of Things and pull something out. You can never know what you will pull out of your Bag of Things until you pull it out and look at it. If you know what you will pull out before you pull it out, then you are pulling it out of your mind full of the known rather than out of the Bag of Things full of the unknown. (See: Gap, Is-Glue Dissolver, Nonlinear, Possibility Manager, Tool Belt)
BEING A SPACE – Being a Space is contrasted with being yourself. Being a Space means that you are holding space but you are not filling up that space with the usual needs and wishes of your Box. Instead, that space is empty and consciously dedicated to serving your Destiny Principles. Possibility Management starts by teaching you how to listen as a space called possibility listening, and to speak as a space called possibility speaking. With practice you can learn to Be the Space through which the Principles that you serve can do their work. Your Box will only let you Be a Space after you realize that you already have everything that you need, a quality of the King / Archetypal Man and the Queen / Archetypal Woman. (See: Box, Destiny, Holding Space, Space)
BEING CENTER – You have two centers, your physical center and your Being Center. Your Being Center is mobile and starts out about the size of a grapefruit. You move your Being Center around in various parts of your body for various purposes. You also place your Being Center outside of your body when you give your center away to either a general or specific authority figure. In Western cultures we tend to keep our Being Center in our heads. Being grows with matrix. (See: Being Centered, Matrix, Physical Center)
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