by Rose Shababy
The circle was the key, and all life ebbed and flowed. Continuous destruction led to continuous life. Death led to renewal.
Now, as he followed a new woman with red hair through Pike Place Market, his whole body tingled. Taking her would renew him like no other.
After all, this woman differed from the others. She had all the qualities the others lacked. He’d known it the moment he laid eyes on her lush figure and striking hair several weeks before. Her beauty flamed the fires of his memory of another time and place, another woman with the same hair and features. The resemblance was uncanny.
The two women comingled in his mind until it became difficult to differentiate between the two.
Easy to do since they were, after all, one and the same.
He picked her out of the crowd as she wound in and out of the other shoppers, making her way through the arcade. She was unmistakable, even from behind. He didn’t need to see her face to recognize the flaming red hair that streamed halfway down her back or the seductive way her painted-on jeans accentuated the sway of her hips.
As he watched her, the desire to take her now, in this very moment, almost overwhelmed him. He bit his lip and clenched his fists until he could feel his fingernails digging into his flesh and tasted blood. The pain grounded him and he watched instead.
He couldn’t wait to take her.
The murderous emotions of the faceless man filled my senses and I inhaled one, long whistling breath and yanked my hand away from the man holding it. The vision winked out of existence like the screen of a TV when its cord is ripped from the wall.
I opened my eyes to see the lean stranger staring at me, his eyes wide with shock. His hat fell from his hand and skittered across the floor. Everything in the club stood still, frozen in place.
“What the hell was that?” I demanded.
The man shook his head slowly. “I do not know.”
KOURAGE, KONTROL AND KASEY
It took a moment for me to find my way back to the present. I looked around the room and realized I hadn’t imagined everything freezing in place. I wondered if the beefcake had roofied my drinks. Was I having a psychotic break? How could this be? Was it some strange, practical joke? I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on Delilah across the dance floor, plastered against a man. Their hands gripped each other’s asses and her head was thrown back in laughter. The image grounded me somehow and I looked back at the lean stranger again.
“Who are you?” I asked again, my voice strangely muffled. It took a moment before I could identify why it sounded so wrong, I had no echo. “What the hell is going on?”
“Do not worry,” he answered in soothing tones as he bent down to pick up his hat. “I will not harm you.”
“Am I hallucinating?” I shook my head as if I could rid myself of the memories of the strange visions I just experienced. I heard the panic rising in my voice as I spoke. “What in the fuck is going on?”
“You are not hallucinating,” he answered as he pulled his fedora on, tipping it back at a jaunty angle. “However, I cannot give you a more definitive answer as to what has happened. I am not certain myself.” He had strange way of speaking and an accent I couldn’t place, but I found it pleasant and melodic. “I have not experienced visions like that before.”
I gaped at him for a moment before I managed to squeak out a response. “You saw them too?”
“Yes,” he answered.
I blushed as I remembered the image of the two of us entwined, pressed against a wall. “Did you see …?” I trailed off, afraid to finish the question.
Somehow he knew anyway and nodded. “Yes, Blue. I experienced the same vision you did.”
How does he know my name? I thought, even as my face flamed. Still, I wasn’t surprised that he knew my name, or even that he’d seen the two of us together. Somehow, it seemed right.
He smiled gently at me as he spoke. “I know a great deal more than just your name.”
I gaped at him. Did he just read my mind? It seemed like an impossible idea, but it occurred to me to test the theory. My mind bounced around like coked-up rat in a maze until I settled on an image of him dancing again, this time in a sparkling pink leotard and tutu.
He threw his head back, laughing his ass off. “I do not mind pink so much, but is the glitter necessary?”
I felt myself grin at him a little. He could laugh at himself, a quality I liked.
He shook his head as his laughter died down. “You have an active imagination. That is good. It will be an invaluable tool in the future.”
“How do you do that?” I asked, finding my voice. I looked around the room again, at all the people frozen like 3D photographs. It didn’t make sense that I wasn’t scared by the situation at hand, but fear didn’t factor into my emotional state at all. I also wondered what it would be like to walk through the crowd and note all their bodily contortions and facial expressions, but I held back. At the moment I was more interested in hearing what this man had to say. “And how did you make everything stop? And those … those pictures in my head, what was that?”
“As to how I do it, I can only tell you that I do it. I know someone that can explain the how better than I. And the visions …” he shrugged. “I have certain abilities but they have never manifested in that way. That was a new experience for me. It will take time to understand what happened. As to this,” he waggled a finger toward the still figures in the room, “this is all you. I can only help you … amplify what you had inside you to begin with.”
It was my turn to laugh, but it was humorless and harsh. “What are you talking about?”
“You have felt different all your life, no?”
“Sure. But doesn’t everybody?” I answered with an eye roll and looked around the room again. “Look at these morons. They’re all playing dress up, hiding their real selves from each other. But the truth is they’re desperate to find someone to love them. Hoping they’ll be important to someone, anyone, because they sure as hell don’t feel important to themselves. Hoping they’ll actually matter. Hoping that someone can take away the emptiness they feel every time they look in the mirror.”
He shook his head. “You are talking about yourself, not them. And they are not all like that. They are not the lifeless paper dolls you think they are, not even the ones trying so hard to stand out.” He indicated Delilah with a nod of his head and met my eyes steadily. “And neither are you.”
His words confused me, and I felt myself growing angry. “Who are you?” I didn’t like the things he made me feel anymore and I longed for the simplicity of my earlier numbness. I wanted to run away from him, but in the same moment I realized that nothing could have made me turn away from this strange man.
“My name is Kasimir Korsak. My friends call my Kasey. I would very much like to include you in that group.”
I shook my head. “If you know so much about me, you would know that I don’t have friends.” I put as much disdain into the last word as I could. I might want to find out more about the things that were happening, but that didn’t mean I trusted him. “Besides, what possible reason do I have to believe anything you say?”
His eyes were still steady on mine when he spoke. “You already trust me, Blue. You do not want to admit it because I am a stranger, but deep down you believe me because you hear truth in my words. You look around the room and see truth. You are different. Special.” He held out his hands, palms up in a gesture of openness. “You are like me, only you have not learned how to use your abilities yet.”
Abilities? I gaped at him. What the hell does that mean?
We stood in the strange, echoless silence, neither of us taking our eyes off the other. I wanted his words to be true. I wanted the differentness I’d always felt to be something special, wanted it with an urgency that pierced through the numbness. In the few moments I’d spent with this man I’d felt more emotions than I’d felt in years.
The realization finally brought forth fear, but it also bro
ught excitement, and I wanted more. If his words were true, and he and I were alike, maybe that meant I actually belonged somewhere.
“I can show you if you let me.” He smiled again and as we stared at one another, thoughts that weren’t mine raced through my head.
Give me a chance to show you. There are others like us. You do not have to be alone anymore.
“Why should I?”
“What are your options?” He smiled. “Someone once said, ‘I may never be what I want to be, what I ought to be, but how will I know unless I try?’ That is all I am asking you to do, try.”
“Who said that?”
He grinned wider. “A superhero.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re kidding, right? This isn’t a fucking comic book.”
“Perhaps not, but tell me that this,” he waved his hand around the room, “is this not amazing and strange? Unreal and incredible? Something you would see only in a comic book?” His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at me and I found myself almost mesmerized by his gaze. “The world still needs heroes, Blue.”
Me, a hero? I almost laughed out loud, but deep inside me the idea of it appealed to me. A part of me could picture this man, Kasey, as a hero, and I came back again to the idea of belonging to something. Belonging to the same thing he belonged to, something clean and good.
Yes, I realized, he’s clean and good. I knew it was true. I couldn’t put my finger on how I knew, but nonetheless I knew he had all the qualities I lacked.
“You do not lack those qualities, Blue,” he told me, kindness in his eyes. “You are capable of goodness, honesty, love. But first you must choose to love yourself.”
“What does that even mean?” I asked, barely recognizing the harsh voice that came from my mouth.
“I can show you if you will let me,” he answered.
I met his eyes and we stood for a moment, just looking at each other. I didn’t feel like myself as I reached out and laid my hand on his cheek, and felt my body react for the second time that night as he drew in a sharp breath and the same electric charge raced between us. Yes, I wanted what this man had with my whole being and I realized I would risk anything to get it.
His voice filled my head again. It is time for you to accept your past and move on. It is time for you to finally take a chance. His eyes pleaded with me. “Take a chance on me, Blue,” he whispered.
I stared at him. I’d spent most of my life pushing opportunity away with both hands, always feeling like I struggled to exist or fit in.
Somehow I knew Kasey offered a different kind of opportunity, and I wondered if the chance being offered outweighed the threat of getting screwed over. Deep down I knew he didn’t offer just because he wanted to sleep with me. Even after seeing the passion between us in the vision, I knew he would want more than just my body. I found him irresistible, and I didn’t want to push him away.
He smiled with relief and joy before I could say a word. “You have made me very happy.”
“I hope you can do the same for me,” I shot back, and he roared with laughter again.
“I can tell that you will bring new life to our group. I am looking forward to it.” He reached up to take my hand that still rested on his cheek. “Are you ready to leave? There is someplace I’d like to take you, people you should meet.”
“What about Delilah?” I asked, knowing I didn’t need to explain who she was.
“You may find her and tell her you are leaving. Or send her a text message. Or however you see fit.” He held up a hand, stalling me before I could ask my next question. “No, Blue. She cannot come with us. We do not have hard and fast rules, but it is important that you tell no one about us. Or yourself.”
I didn’t even hesitate. My loyalty to Delilah was shallow, and I knew that even though we’d arrived together, we wouldn’t have left together. Plus, I think I would have gone with him even if he’d told me I could never go back.
“Fine. Give me a moment to text her. I’ll tell her I’m leaving with … well, I’ll tell her I met someone.” I felt my face flush with embarrassment and suddenly felt underdressed. I tried to pull the sleeve of my shirt up to cover my bared shoulder and back, and I realized he probably already knew I went home with random men on a regular basis. I realized I didn’t like the idea of him knowing those kinds of things about me.
He smiled gently. “I am not here to judge you, Blue. Each of us has a past. Our past is the thing that brought us to the here and now, and here and now is all that matters.” He motioned to the room and continued. “First, however, you must undo this before you can text your friend. I am not certain, but I think your cellphone will not work when time has been halted in this manner.”
Time is stopped? I turned back to look at the room again. The beefcake I’d been dancing was there, leaning against the bar rail, waving a twenty dollar bill at Julio. His mouth hung open, frozen mid-word. I walked over to him and reached out and touched his arm, surprised when it felt normal. His face was shiny with perspiration, and I could see a bead of sweat clinging to the side of his face. It should have trailed down his cheek, but it lay there in suspended animation, and it seemed to make sense that time had stopped. How could I have done this?
He’s crazy if he thinks I did this. “You’re nuts if you think I made this happen. And even if I did, I don’t have clue one about how to undo it. Besides, if I did it, why aren’t you frozen like everyone else?”
“I believe it is because you were holding my hand, focusing on me, which allowed you to bring me with you.”
“Okay, so let’s say I pretend that I had something to do with this. Since I have no clue how I did it in the first place, how can I possibly undo it?”
“I will help you.” He held out his hand again. “You must take my hand for it to work.”
“Let’s move away from this guy,” I pointed at the beefcake with my thumb. “I have a feeling he won’t like it if he sees me leaving with you.”
“A reasonable assumption. His thoughts about you were very … carnal. And very proprietary. I believe we should be standing in the same place we were when time stopped. It would not do for people to notice our absence.”
“I can’t fucking believe you actually read minds!” I shook my head as we walked back to the dance floor. “An hour ago, I never would have believed these things were even possible.”
“The world is full of endless possibilities.” He waved a hand toward the people. “This and more. Things you have never imagined.”
A new thought streaked through my mind. “Is the whole world frozen in time?” I whispered as the situation hit home. I had frozen time. My whole existence had transformed into something incredible in a matter of seconds.
“Honestly, I do not know,” Kasey answered, running a hand through his wavy hair. “We have people in our little group with unique abilities, but we have never encountered a… timekeeper. I would say that it is reasonable to assume any and all possibilities. Perhaps this extends out across the entire planet,” he flung his arms out wide, “maybe even the entire universe, reaching into every dark corner of the cosmos. Or perhaps it is only within several blocks. However,” he gave a little shrug, “if that were so, I think we would have heard sirens or screams or something since people unaffected would certainly notice the affected and call the authorities. I do not hear anything.”
I listened for a moment, disturbed when I realized I heard nothing. Really … nothing. Not a car, not a horn, not the electric hum of lights. The silence suddenly felt unnatural and it made my skin crawl.
“Then again,” he continued, “those theories do not take into account any temporal anomalies, or anyone else with abilities like yours.”
“Temporal anomalies?” I asked weakly. My brain buzzed like I’d been slamming espresso shots. There was just too much information for me to process all at once. Jesus Christ, man. Slow down and let me think!
Kasey roared with laughter. “You have all the time you want, Blue!”
&nbs
p; “Look here, you … you freaky mind reading douchnozzle,” I glared at him. “Isn’t there a rule about reading peoples private thoughts all the time? It’s like being a peeping tom, only worse because you’re looking at my mind.” I shuddered. I didn’t like the idea that someone could hear my private thoughts, especially since those thoughts were often not very pleasant. I didn’t feel like a very nice person.
He sobered, his smile disappearing for the first time. “You are right. I apologize. I found it helpful when meeting the others to use my abilities to prove my … legitimacy. I sometimes forget to turn it off. Usually, there is so much noise from all the people around me, especially in the city, that it can be difficult to concentrate on one person. But here, now, with the world silent, your mind is the only one I can hear. It is almost like you are screaming at me. It is a very … singular experience.” His eyes closed a little and a strange expression crossed his face. I wondered what it meant.
“Hmm.” I might not be able to interpret his expression but I did know that I didn’t like seeing him without a smile on his face. I felt a little bad for snapping at him, but it really was disturbing to know that he could hear every thought I had as though I said it out loud. I wondered if I could ever get used to it.
His eyes opened and he smiled again. “Shall we continue?” he asked.
The sight of his smile diminished my misgivings. “I guess we could try. Let’s turn the noise back on so I’m not shouting at you anymore. Maybe we’ll both be more comfortable.”
He nodded and reached out his hand for mine. “We will need to be touching for this to work.”
I hesitated, remembering what had happened the first time we held hands. “What about before?” I asked.
He bit his lip thoughtfully. “That was surprising for me as well, but I believe I can control it. I will be expecting it this time.”
“Was that the future?” I whispered. “I saw people I didn’t know and felt things that weren’t my feelings. How could I feel other people’s feelings?”
