“My father, he was a brutal man. If you’ve been watching me over the years you know how many people I’ve killed. I didn’t mean to, but…”
She seemed to understand what I was saying, and reached out to place an ice-cold hand on my wrist. “Don’t worry, Lily. Your father’s blood did not stain your heart. You do not carry his nature within yourself. A succubus cannot help her nature. She must feed to live. As much as I don’t like the business you chose to open, it was a unique and clever way to handle the situation. But you have learned enough now that you no longer need it. You can move on from this phase in your life. I have faith in you.”
“But I have no idea how to serve you in this capacity. I don’t even know what Aespions do.” Truth was, I was dreading the learning curve headed my way.
Wynter gave me a sly smile. “Your training began the moment you walked through the door today. But yes, you will be required to train hard and long. Meanwhile, I will say this: I know of this Archer Desmond you mentioned.”
Uh oh. I had no idea what Wynter would think of the chaos demon.
“He’s been helping us with the Souljacker. Do you want me to break off my connection with him?” I was hoping she would say no. For one thing, Archer Desmond made a fantastic contact. For another, I could draw chi off of him without a problem and he seemed to have no qualms about fulfilling my need in that department. And…I kind of liked him.
She laughed and shook her head. “No, he may be extremely useful in the future. I want you to cultivate your acquaintance with him. And if you need to use him to feed, then by all means do so. It may keep you out of trouble.”
“Is there anything else?” She had thrown so much at me that it was going to take quite some time to process everything. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and stick my head under the covers. I was praying I could remember everything.
“Yes. A warning.” Her smile faded.
I shivered at the look on her face. “What is it?”
“The wife of this weretiger, she is more dangerous than you know, and not only to you. Revenge among the Weres is an art. She will stop at nothing to hurt you—her grief, yes, is driving her on. But also, the desire to make you pay by harming those you love.”
My heart sank. “She isn’t going to be easily mollified, is she?”
“No, and she’s likely to stoop to taking out her anger on your friends. To put it bluntly, warn those you care about to avoid her. Because Weres think in terms of Prides and Packs and families. And your friends are your family.”
“Wonderful. One more problem to think about.”
“You’d best think about it, and take what steps you can before she ends up destroying your friendships. Never trust the Weres, Lily.”
“Pretty soon, I’ll have the whole world after me. At this rate, the vampires don’t look quite so bad.”
At that, Wynter turned. “Do not joke about the blood fiends. Make no mistake, Lily. Vampires are no longer human—they wear the body they wore in life, but their soul is twisted and they will always be a monster parading as a person.” She gave me a long look. “I’m serious. We have our own dangers among our people, but we tend to be open about it. Vampires will lead you to think they are victims. They may have been when they were human. But after the turning? They become the predators.”
When I said nothing, Wynter let out a long breath. “I will place your friends under our protection. That doesn’t mean we can save them, but if they find themselves in danger, they can come to us. I don’t do this lightly, but they play an important part in your life, therefore they are important.”
Suddenly exhausted, I realized the room felt like it was spinning. I wanted to go home. “So what now? Where do I go from here?”
“You go home and you rest. You destroy this fiend who follows you and your friends. You close your business. I will have Vesper, leader of the Aespions, call you to set up your training. And then, Lily, your new life will begin. Meanwhile, stay alive. I will send you home with new wards. They are far stronger than the ones your friend makes. It will free her up from having to do so, as well. Katarina the Frost makes these. They do not take well to being disrupted.”
As the guards escorted me to the door, the weight of the world settled in on my shoulders. I had come hoping to give Wynter information that might potentially save others who had been inked by the Souljacker. I was leaving with my world tossed in a blender set on high speed.
One of the guards gave me a sympathetic look. He clapped me on the shoulder.
“Welcome into the service of Wynter. I know you didn’t expect this, but how often do things go the way we expect them to? I will find a ride back to your car for you so that you don’t have to walk through the snow.” He handed me a bag containing new wards—all I had to do was affix them to my fence and house.
As I slipped my cloak back around my shoulders, I thanked him but declined his offer. I had a lot to think about, and a walk through the snow just might help clear my head. As I ducked out of the palace and into the softly falling flakes, I said a soft prayer for my mother. Of all that I had learned this day, the facts surrounding her death were the hardest to swallow. Images of her smiling face filling my thoughts, I began the walk back to my car, under the icy sky.
Chapter Sixteen
When I got back to the car, Marsh was waiting for me. He took one look at my face and said, “What the hell happened to you?”
“I’ll tell you on the way home.”
I shrugged off my cloak and gently placed it in the backseat, along with the wards. I had a feeling I’d be using it a lot more than I had previously. By now not caring what anybody saw or thought, I retrieved my bag of clothes and, standing next to my car, I changed. I gently placed the dress and cloak back inside the garment bag, zipping it carefully closed before I slid my jeans, bra, and turtleneck back on. After I carefully locked the bag in the trunk, I climbed back in the car. Turning the ignition, I eased out of the parking lot, flipping the heat on high. Once we were back on the highway, headed to the freeway, I let out a long sigh.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Marsh’s voice was gentle, as if he could sense my fragility.
“So much that I’m not even sure where to begin. I found out how my mother died. I found out what happened to my father. I found out that Tricia’s nowhere near done with me. I was given orders to close my business and take up a new pursuit in service to Wynter. How’s that for an afternoon’s work?” I knew I sounded bitter but I couldn’t help it. Nothing that had happened had left me feeling good.
“Wow. I’m not sure what to say.”
I let out a short laugh. “Me neither. Seriously, that was my exact response. Wynter’s not at all like I remember her,” I added in afterthought. “She is far less…cruel, would be the word, than I expected. I don’t think she took delight in anything she had to tell me today. In fact, I had the feeling that she regretted most of what she loaded onto my shoulders.”
Marsh waited for me to continue, not prodding or questioning, but giving me the time I needed to gather my thoughts. He’d been like that when he was alive, too. He had never talked over me or pushed me, except when it came to insisting we’d make a good couple—a welcome change to most of the men I had known in my life. In fact, his soft confidence was what had first attracted me to him. I had tried to stem my attraction, knowing just how dangerous it could be for a succubus to get involved with a human. But he had felt the same pull—we were like moths drawn to a flame together.
After a few miles of focusing on the road, I had breathed through most of the shock. Clearing my throat, I told him first about my father killing my mother.
“I had no clue. I thought he just abandoned us. Now, I wish that were true. It was so much easier to live with than the knowledge that he murdered my mother. He’s long gone, of course; Wynter had him executed. But even that is bittersweet. At least I know he was an incubus—which means my bloodline runs smoothly.” When different types
of Fae mated, the offspring were often unique in their abilities, and it wasn’t always for the best. I had been wondering about myself all my life, and now at least that question was put to rest.
“I’m sorry, Lily. Did she say why he killed her?”
“Not in so many words. I gather he was an angry, controlling man. I don’t even know if I want to know. Isn’t it easier sometimes? Not knowing? And now I understand why my aunt was so cold to me. She and my mother didn’t get along, but Wynter made her take care of me. You know that Wynter’s the one who gave me my pentacle, dagger, and wristlets. I have a feeling she knew how this would all work out.”
Marsh nodded. He glanced out the window for a moment, and I focused on the series of S-curves that we were winding through. Snow was starting to fall again, light and powdery. The roads would freeze by nightfall. Somehow, the stark whiteness made me feel better. It felt clean and clear, and new to the world.
“You said that Wynter instructed you to close your business?”
I let out a soft snort. “Well, really, she’s just finishing what Tricia Jones started. Yes, she did. She conscripted me into her service. Apparently, Wynter does not approve of brothels. I wondered why I had so few Fae clients, although the ease with which the Fae approach sexuality seemed the most logical answer.”
Marsh leaned back in his seat, disconcerting me as he passed through the backrest.
“Can you not do that? It weirds me out.”
“Do what?”
“Stand in the furniture—sit in the furniture? Become part of the furniture? It’s unnerving. I’m still not used to the fact that you’re a ghost.” I paused, uncertain whether even approaching the subject that he was a spirit was proper etiquette. “Marsh, I have to tell you, I don’t know how to act around you.”
“You think you’re disconcerted? Try opening your eyes, and the first thing you see is a whole new world. The last thing you remember was being killed by your girlfriend, whom you loved very much. I always believed in an afterlife, but if there is one, then I don’t know about it.”
“That’s ridiculous. Of course there’s an afterlife. For one thing, you’re sitting here in my car and you’re dead. That alone is proof of an afterlife.”
“I know, I know.”
“Anyway, about my business…”
Marsh made a tsking sound. “To be honest, I’m glad she said what she did. Lily, you realize how dangerous your job is? I know—I know, and before you protest, I know you’re a succubus and I know you have the potential to put the hurt on people. I understand why you opened your business. I also learned from watching the news that today’s world seems far more dangerous than the world I remember.”
I thought about what he said for a moment, then shook my head. “The world has always been dangerous, especially for women and children. I never told you about the hundreds of years that I wandered on my own from town to town, doing my best to stay alive. The world has never been safe. But you’re right, in one sense. With the growing threat from the vampires, the world grows more dangerous every day. Anyway, life as an Aespion isn’t likely to be much safer. That’s what she wants me to be, essentially one of her agents. I’m to become a liaison between the world of Fae and the world of humans. After the past couple days, I doubt I’ll have much standing among the world of Weres.”
“What exactly does an Aespion do?”
I shrugged, laughing. “I suppose whatever Wynter orders. Seriously, I have no clue. I guess I’m going to find out, though. I’m scheduled to begin training soon, and I have a feeling I’m going to be sore and bruised by the time I’m done. What worries me most, though, isn’t losing my business. And it isn’t the fact that I’m supposed to catch the Souljacker.”
“You’re worried about your friends taking the fallout because of you, aren’t you?” Marsh always knew how to nail it on the head.
Glancing at him, I nodded. “Tricia commands a veritable army of Weres. The damage they could do, on so many levels…it’s terrifying.”
“Look out!”
I had gotten so involved in my thoughts that I wasn’t paying attention to driving. I jerked my gaze back to the road just in time to see a tree come tumbling down the hill next to the asphalt, a wave of heavy snow thundering behind it. I swerved to the side in the only direction I could—into the oncoming lane. Luckily, there were no cars coming our way, and I managed to swerve onto the opposite shoulder, where I idled the car as I leaned against the steering wheel, panting heavily.
“Don’t stop here, get this buggy in gear and drive! The next section may decide to go too!”
At Marsh’s urgent plea, I shifted gears and plowed forward, suddenly aware that the minor avalanche was turning into a bigger one and that we had been sitting directly in the path of another wave of oncoming snow.
As I managed to speed past the thundering deluge, I moved back into the lane next to the hill, even though that was the last place I wanted to be. We couldn’t afford to be in a head-on accident. At least, I couldn’t. It wouldn’t hurt Marsh but it could sure kill me. Up ahead was a turnout into a rest area and I sped up, the car sliding on the buildup of slush that was accumulating on the ground. I was able to veer into the parking lot without further incident, and eased into a spot far enough away from the trees to avoid being a target should another one decide to come down. As I turned off the ignition, I let out a soft cry.
“I just want to go home.”
“I know, I know. That was a close one.” Marsh turned to me. “Are you okay, Lily?”
Clutching the steering wheel with a grip so tight I felt like I could break it, I gave him a short shake of the head. “I don’t think I can handle much more today.” My voice was shaking so hard that it surprised even me. The sudden avalanche felt like a metaphor for everything that had been happening in my life over the past few days. I felt like I had almost been buried in more ways than one.
“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be able to drive again. I’m going to get out and walk around to catch my breath.” I knew I should call the cops about the avalanche, but I figured anybody in the area would have heard it and already done so. As I pulled my jacket tighter and shoved open the door, the chill air hit my lungs with a crisp snap. I could see my breath as I tramped around the car, trying not to slip in the falling snow. It was heavy now, thick and wet and piling up quickly.
I crossed the grassy division between the rest area and the road and cautiously stepped out to peer back in the direction we had come. A swath of snow and trees extended all the way across the freeway, completely cutting off access. As the sound of sirens grew, I jumped back onto the snow-laden grass when the emergency vehicles whizzed past. They slowed, stopping a safe distance away from the avalanche. Satisfied that I didn’t need to talk to them, I returned to the car and leaned against it.
Marsh appeared by my side. He was staring into the sky, a soft smile on his face. “I know you’ve had one hell of a day. And I know that you’re facing major changes that you would never have chosen had you been given the choice. But life throws us curveballs. And it’s how well we respond that makes us who we are.”
He turned to stare at me, reaching out but then stopping before his hand passed through mine. “Lily, you’ve got this. You were always the strongest woman I’d ever met. I don’t think that’s just because you’re Fae. I think it’s because it’s your nature. You aren’t cut out to whimper and hide in the closet. You’re made of strong stuff, Lily O’Connell. And whoever brought me back to help you, right now I’m thanking them. Because it’s given me a chance to see you again. And I’d rather be a ghost standing by your side than just a memory in your heart.”
Right then, I knew that I still loved him. The love had changed, and there was no way it could ever be anything but platonic. But I’d settle for that.
“I’m glad you’re back in my life, Marsh. However it has to be, as long as you’re happy to be here, I’m happy you are. I guess we move forward, huh?”
He laughed and pointed toward the direction we had just come. “I’d say we don’t have much chance of going backward, so forward it is. Come on. Let’s get you home and ready to face your future.”
And with that, we got back in the car, I put her into gear, and we headed back to Seattle.
Chapter Seventeen
As I pulled into the driveway, I was surprised to see Archer Desmond’s car waiting. I turned off the ignition and looked at Marsh.
“I have to tell you something about the person who owns that car. I know this is a lot to take in, given all you’ve learned about the world in the past day, but he’s a chaos demon and he’s helping us with the Souljacker. But there’s more…”
Marsh gave me a long look. “He’s your lover, isn’t he?”
I mulled over the words. “I don’t know, to be honest. I fed off him yesterday, and we have incredible chemistry. And I think he wants to see me again. Wynter has approved him. And…I like him.” I raised my eyes to meet Marsh’s gaze. I had expected to see recriminations or fear because of the word “demon,” but instead he met my eyes with an amused look.
“Something happens when you die,” he said. “Maybe I’m getting used to being a ghost, or maybe I just realize that my world has become so much bigger than it was when I was alive. But Lily, I’m… I don’t feel love the way I used to. It’s expanded, become something less possessive. If Archer can help you, then so much the better.”
As I climbed out of the car, Archer stepped out of his. He leaned against the hood of his BMW, waiting, his arms crossed against the cold. My heart skipped a beat. After everything that had happened at Wynter’s court, I was exhausted and in need of a friendly face.
“Hey, I hope you don’t mind me waiting for you. I found out a few more things you need to hear.” Archer glanced at Marsh, his eyes flickering over the ghost’s figure. He didn’t look particularly surprised. “I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Archer Desmond.” He did not extend his hand, which told me he recognized Marsh was a spirit.
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