by Holly Rayner
“Right, my mother isn’t dead.”
Raul actually shook himself and was turning toward me, reaching for me when the door to the exam room opened.
“Señor Jimenez, a pleasure to see you.” The doctor looked through the chart the nurse had left behind.
“Everything looks fine here, Miss Owens. Your doctor in the U.S. is taking good care of you.”
“Thank you.” I made a pointed effort to not look at Raul. I couldn’t bear to.
“Well, the test will take about forty-eight hours, so I’ll see you back here day after tomorrow.”
“Thank you, doctor,” I said and rose from my chair.
I was out of the exam room and halfway to the front door before Raul came out of the room. Marco held the door for me and then helped me into the car. I shoved myself as far into the corner of the back seat as I could before Raul got in.
“What’s going on, Tanya?” he asked as he took his seat.
Chapter 38
Raul
When she turned tear-bright eyes my way, it was a kick in the gut. Before I could think, I reached out and pulled her into my arms.
Oh, my God, she felt so right in my arms. I caught Marco’s smug look in the rearview and sighed. He was going to be impossible to live with now.
I stroked my hand down her back and made soothing noises until she stopped sobbing.
“I’m so sorry, Tanya. The reference to your mother was insensitive and uncalled for.”
“I worry about her so much. After Dad died, it was just the two of us, and with no break, I was taking care of her. She has the assisted living help now, but she’s still my mom, and I still have to take care of her.”
“I know. I should never have said that.”
She sat up and took the handkerchief I offered her. She wiped her face and chuckled.
“I can’t believe I’m crying in front of you yet again.”
“It’s all right. I deserved this one.”
She gave me a hard look.
“Yes, you did, mister.”
I jerked a little. She was berating me? That took some nerve.
“Wait a moment. I’m not the one—”
Her hand shot up with such speed and determination that I cut off what I was going to say.
“It might be my fault that you don’t know much about me, but even if I were a stranger on the street, you shouldn’t make comments about people’s parents.”
“True, but—”
“And if you must know why I’m so attached to my mother, it’s because my father died on the job.”
“I didn’t say you were too attached to your mother—”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to get a phone call from someone you’ve called ‘uncle’ your whole life only to have him tell you that your father bled out on the floor of the neighborhood bodega because a punk with a gun decided the money in the register was worth more than my father’s life?”
“No, of course I don’t, but—”
“Or what it feels like to find your mother sobbing in the kitchen three months later when she realized the police pension your father had isn’t nearly enough to cover basic expenses each month.”
I shook my head, I had nothing more to say. There was nothing more I could say. Tanya had worked herself into a fever, and I knew nothing I could say right now would make any difference. It was better to let her run herself out.
“Do you get it now?” she said. “Do you understand how I could possibly be willing to dump my personal standards and morals to cheat you out of a contract that ultimately wouldn’t make or break you? Did it hurt you to not get that contract? Did it mean you couldn’t buy groceries that week? Did it affect you at all except to give you an excuse to hate me?”
She had me there. I didn’t know what I could possibly say.
I must have paused for a moment too long, because Tammy scowled and looked to the front of the car.
“Marco, are we at the hotel yet?” she asked.
“Just pulling in, señorita.”
“Can I please get out of this car as fast as possible.”
“Sí, señorita. Give me a moment to stop the car.”
Tanya shoved me away and reached for the car handle as soon as Marco stopped the car. She was gone, disappeared into the hotel before I could put my foot on the ground.
“Shall I stop her, señor? She seems to be very speedy today.”
“Stuff it, Marco.”
“Sí, señor.”
I stalked into the hotel lobby in time to see Tanya step into an elevator car. I jogged across the lobby to catch her, shoving my hand into the closing doors before they completely met. I pushed past the doors and stepped into the elevator and then allowed the doors to close.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Tanya snapped.
“I’m not giving you a choice.”
She crossed her arms and turned her face away, but the mirrored walls of the elevator meant she could still see me.
“Well, get on with it, then,” she snapped.
I took a deep breath.
“You’re right, Tanya. Losing that contract didn’t have the kind of effect on me and mine that losing the money Arlen paid you would have had on you and yours.”
She nodded, but I shook my head.
“But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. I believe you had good reasons for what you did, but the ends do not justify the means. You’re not forgiven.”
“Well thanks for the newsflash.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said. “I mean, the reason behind what you did doesn’t forgive what you did.”
“I’ve got it. Thanks. What time are we going back to the doctor?”
“The appointment is at two the day after tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you then, I suppose.”
The elevator doors opened, and Tanya got out. She stalked down the hall toward her room. I followed.
“I wasn’t finished talking with you,” I shouted as she reached her door and slipped her key into the lock.
“Oh, am I expected to be concerned with your desires right now?”
“Yes, Tanya. I’m trying to talk to you.”
“I tried to talk to you in New York and you didn’t care. Why should I care that you want to talk now?”
She stepped into the room and closed the door in my face.
Chapter 39
Tanya
I leaned my forehead against the door. I heard Raul snarl and storm off down the hall.
I almost laughed, but then I realized it really wasn’t funny. I knocked my forehead into the door and muttered to myself.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
What the hell was wrong with me? I finally got him to soften up a little bit and then I shoved him away.
I sat hard on the bed and rubbed my temples. Now what? I had the rest of the night and all of tomorrow to get through with no plans. My cell phone buzzed and I grabbed it, praying it was Raul and he’d decided to let me redeem myself, but it was Ma.
I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up, tapping my foot and fidgeting until she did.
“Hey, honey, how’s the trip?”
And I burst into tears.
Fifteen minutes later, I lay on my side on the bed, arms wrapped around the pillow, sniffling heavily, listening to my mother tell me I shouldn’t let my temper get ahead of my common sense.
“Tanya, the question is, do you love this man?”
I sniffed loudly and nodded.
“If you’re nodding, honey, I can’t see you.”
“Yes, Ma. I love him.”
“Is loving him worth this pain, the humiliation of begging his forgiveness?”
I nodded again, but then realized my mother still couldn’t see me.
“Yes. It’s worth it all.”
“Then stop sniveling and go beg for forgiveness.”
“Thanks, Ma. I think I’ll do that.”
“Good. So, when do we find out if the baby is a boy
or a girl?”
“I don’t know. I think I’d rather be surprised.”
“Then how are you going to pick a name?”
“I thought I’d keep a few options in mind and decide when the baby is born.”
“That’s a lot of pressure on the day the baby is born. It would be better to find out, don’t you think?”
“Ma, are you trying to get me to agree to a gender reveal party?”
“Maybe.”
I sighed heavily.
“Isn’t the baby shower enough for you?”
“Is it wrong for me to want to celebrate my first grandchild?”
“It’s not wrong, but no one needs five parties before the child is even born.”
“Two, two parties. Who said anything about five?”
“Fine, fine. But if I let you throw the shower and the gender reveal, you don’t get to throw the first birthday.”
“Hey now, let’s not be hasty. How about if we negotiate. I’ll do the shower and the cake-smash photo session for the first birthday.”
“Cake smash? You want to photograph your grandchild smashing up his or her first birthday cake?”
“Yes. It’s a thing. Get with the times, Tanya.”
Twenty minutes later, when I hung up, Ma had negotiated hosting a baby shower at her apartment and the gender reveal at mine. The cake-smash photography session would be in Central Park and the first birthday party would be in her apartment. At least I’d gotten out of the phone call without signing off on using the name Zigfried for a boy or Ethel for a girl; as much as I would like to honor my mother’s Russian ancestry, I’d like my choice of names when the time came.
I lay the cell phone on the nightstand and took a few deep breaths. At worst, the baby would have plenty of bribery-worthy photos for when he or she started dating. At best, my child would have memories and photos I would never have thought to make.
I continued the deep breathing to stave off the hyperventilation of realizing how much I didn’t know about raising a child. A child I was going to raise alone. Raul was never going to trust me again and without trust, what was there? I could try to convince him I would never betray him again, but I doubted he’d ever believe me.
I reached for the phone and dialed Marco’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Sí, señorita, what can I do for you?”
“Marco, what time will Rey be home from school tomorrow and will she be going home to the country house or the penthouse here in the city?”
“Señorita Rey is coming back to the penthouse at four tomorrow afternoon.”
“Can you pick me up and take me to the penthouse so I can be there when she gets home, please?”
“Sí, señorita. It will be my pleasure.”
“Gracias, Marco. Your support means so much to me right now.”
“It is nothing. I know you are a good woman, señorita, and Raul is a good man. You belong together, especially with the baby coming.”
“You know about the baby?”
“Sí. How could I not?”
“True. So what time should I meet you in the lobby?”
“How about three thirty? Will that work for you?”
“Sí. Gracias. I’ll see you then.”
I hung up my cell phone, set a couple of alarms, and plugged the phone in to charge. I was not going to be late for Marco. I was sure he needed to be the one to actually pick up Rey, and I didn’t want to put him in a tight spot.
After I’d ordered room service and luxuriated in a warm bath, it was time to call it a night. When I finally climbed into bed, I was so tired I could barely move.
Between flying across the Atlantic and fighting with Raul, I was out of energy. Tomorrow I could figure out what to do about Raul and finally apologize to Rey for leaving without saying goodbye.
The next afternoon, I saw Marco as soon as I stepped off the elevator. He stood, casually comfortable as he leaned against one of the large pillars in the lobby. He smiled, straightened, and returned my wave when he saw me and then preceded me out of the hotel so he could hold the doors for me.
“Gracias, Marco. For everything.”
“De nada, señorita. Señor Raul can be a very difficult man sometimes. Señora Eloisa would often be frustrated by his stubbornness.”
“So it wasn’t all peaches and roses between them?”
“Oh, not at all. Sometimes she would send him to sleep on the couch when he’d been particularly difficult. I see in señorita Rey the same kind of determination that made her parents fight and love as deeply as they did.”
“She’s an amazing young lady,” I agreed and stepped into the back of the limo. “I can’t wait to see her again.”
He gave me a sly smile and turned the car onto the road. I carried with me the books I’d brought from the used bookstores in New York. I’d even found a few Spanish editions of the books Rey had seemed most interested in when we’d searched the stores here.
I looked up as Marco pulled the car to a stop in front of a large building that looked suspiciously like a church. When a bell rang and children streamed out of the building, understanding dawned on me. He’d brought me to pick up Rey, not just see her at the penthouse.
“Gracias, Marco.”
“De nada, señorita.”
I got out of the car and turned when I heard a scream from my left.
“Tanya! You came to pick me up? Papi said you were busy today, that he wouldn’t see you until tomorrow!”
The little girl launched herself at me from several steps away. I braced myself, but was grateful Marco had anticipated Rey’s actions and stationed himself behind me to support me as she came to a stop against me. We hugged one another hard and long before I set Rey back a little so I could see her.
“I’ve only been gone two months and already you’re a polished young lady.”
She beamed. “I’m thirteen now, so basically a grownup.”
Marco held the door for us, and we got into the limo. Rey threw her backpack onto the floor and climbed in to sit as close as she could to me.
“I missed you,” she said simply.
“I missed you, too. I wanted to apologize for not saying goodbye when I left last time. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “Papi said your mama had an emergency.”
“She did. But she’s much better now.”
“I’m glad. It must be hard to be so far from your mama when she needs you.”
“It was.”
“So, how long will you be staying this time? Will you have dinner with us tonight? Can we go shopping again?”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down. One question at a time.”
“Will you come have dinner with us tonight?”
“I will, if it’s all right with your father.”
“Are you and papi still fighting?”
“Not exactly. Your father has every right to be angry with me, Rey. I did something I shouldn’t have, and I have to ask for and receive his forgiveness.”
“Have you asked him?”
“Several times.”
“But he’s not giving you his forgiveness.”
“Not yet.”
“Just keep asking. It works. I do it all the time. After a while, he just gets tired of answering the same question every day.”
I chuckled.
“I’ll keep your advice in mind.”
I dug into my bag and pulled out the books I’d brought for Rey. I handed them to her, and she squealed with pleasure.
“I just finished the last one we bought when you were here before. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best, Tanya!”
“You’re very welcome, Rey. I’m always happy to give you books, though I did ask your father’s permission.”
“He doesn’t really care what I read, so long as I read.”
“That’s good to know.”
I smiled as Rey tore into the wrapping paper and then exclaimed and squealed over the books
she unwrapped. When the car was littered with torn paper and smelled of old books, Rey settled down to read the back covers of the books, exclaiming that she couldn’t wait to start reading them.
“Now, don’t put off your schoolwork in favor of reading. You still have to do your homework.”
“Aww. You sound like papi.”
“That’s because your father is a smart man—usually.”
“If he was smart, he’d stop moping around and ask you to come back and stay.”
“Wait, wait. What are you talking about?”
“I watch him. Sometimes he doesn’t realize I see things, like him staring out the window and looking at his phone. I know he’s thinking of you because if it were anyone else, he’d just call them rather than staring at the phone. And he didn’t start doing that until after you left.”
“I see you’re still working on your deductive reasoning skills. I’m glad to see it.”
“I still want to be an investigator when I grow up, just like you talked about. I want to help people find things and people who are lost and help find justice for people.”
“A noble pursuit all around.”
Marco pulled the car to a stop in the garage in Raul’s building. Rey gathered her books and backpack and climbed out of the car. She stopped and stuck her head back inside.
“Let me ask papi if you can come to dinner and then I’ll come back down to get you, okay?”
“Why don’t you call Marco’s phone with his answer instead?”
“That’s a good idea.”
She turned to Marco.
“Don’t you leave here until you hear from me, all right, Marco?”
“Of course, señorita. Go. Ask your father. I will wait.”
Chapter 40
Raul
“Papi, can Tanya join us for dinner tonight? Please! She’s already downstairs with Marco.”
I turned from the window to see Rey coming out of the elevator to dump her backpack onto the sofa with a pile of additional books.
My initial irritation that Tanya had reached out to my daughter faded when I saw how happy Rey was to have spent some time with Tanya, who had obviously been serious when she said she’d brought her more books.
