CHAPTER IV
_Reflections on Saint Hubert's stag--Shoots a stag with cherry-stones;the wonderful effects of it--Kills a bear by extraordinary dexterity;his danger pathetically described--Attacked by a wolf, which he turnsinside out--Is assailed by a mad dog, from which he escapes--The Baron'scloak seized with madness, by which his whole wardrobe is thrown intoconfusion._
You have heard, I dare say, of the hunter and sportsman's saint andprotector, St. Hubert, and of the noble stag, which appeared to himin the forest, with the holy cross between his antlers. I have paid myhomage to that saint every year in good fellowship, and seen this stag athousand times, either painted in churches, or embroidered in thestars of his knights; so that, upon the honour and conscience of a goodsportsman, I hardly know whether there may not have been formerly, orwhether there are not such crossed stags even at this present day. Butlet me rather tell what I have seen myself. Having one day spent all myshot, I found myself unexpectedly in presence of a stately stag, lookingat me as unconcernedly as if he had known of my empty pouches. I chargedimmediately with powder, and upon it a good handful of cherry-stones,for I had sucked the fruit as far as the hurry would permit. Thus I letfly at him, and hit him just on the middle of the forehead, between hisantlers; it stunned him--he staggered--yet he made off. A year or twoafter, being with a party in the same forest, I beheld a noble stag witha fine full grown cherry-tree above ten feet high between his antlers.I immediately recollected my former adventure, looked upon him as myproperty, and brought him to the ground by one shot, which at oncegave me the haunch and cherry-sauce; for the tree was covered with therichest fruit, the like I had never tasted before. Who knows but somepassionate holy sportsman, or sporting abbot or bishop, may have shot,planted, and fixed the cross between the antlers of St. Hubert's stag,in a manner similar to this? They always have been, and still are,famous for plantations of crosses and antlers; and in a case of distressor dilemma, which too often happens to keen sportsmen, one is apt tograsp at anything for safety, and to try any expedient rather thanmiss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself in thattrying situation.
What do you say of this, for example? Daylight and powder were spent oneday in a Polish forest. When I was going home a terrible bear made upto me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me; all mypockets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in vain; Ifound nothing but two spare flints: one I flung with all my might intothe monster's open jaws, down his throat. It gave him pain and made himturn about, so that I could level the second at his back-door, which,indeed, I did with wonderful success; for it flew in, met the firstflint in the stomach, struck fire, and blew up the bear with a terribleexplosion. Though I came safe off that time, yet I should not wish totry it again, or venture against bears with no other ammunition.
There is a kind of fatality in it. The fiercest and most dangerousanimals generally came upon me when defenceless, as if they had a notionor an instinctive intimation of it. Thus a frightful wolf rushed upon meso suddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but follow mechanicalinstinct, and thrust my fist into his open mouth. For safety's sakeI pushed on and on, till my arm was fairly in up to the shoulder.How should I disengage myself? I was not much pleased with my awkwardsituation--with a wolf face to face; our ogling was not of the mostpleasant kind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal would fly the morefuriously upon me; that I saw in his flaming eyes. In short, I laid holdof his tail, turned him inside out like a glove, and flung him to theground, where I left him.
The same expedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which soonafter came running against me in a narrow street at St. Petersburg. Runwho can, I thought; and to do this the better, I threw off my fur cloak,and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my servant for thecloak, and he put it in the wardrobe with my other clothes. The dayafter I was amazed and frightened by Jack's bawling, "For God's sake,sir, your fur cloak is mad!" I hastened up to him, and found almost allmy clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. The fellow was perfectlyright in his apprehensions about the fur cloak's madness. I saw himmyself just then falling upon a fine full-dress suit, which he shook andtossed in an unmerciful manner.
The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen Page 6
