by L. E. Bross
“’Cause I’m special?”
He rolls his eyes and grabs a slice of meat lovers.
“How did I know you were a meat lover kind of guy?” I shoot back.
“Manly men eat meat,” he grunts and I laugh.
We eat in companionable silence until I sit back with a groan. Maybe I should have left the oversized pants on after all. I might tuck them away for the next pizza night.
“So, are you going to school tomorrow?” Luc asks, lying back and putting his good arm over his head.
Outside the patio it’s so dark that I can pretend nothing else exists.
I’m torn. On one hand I’d get to see the guys, on the other, I’m not sure that what’s going on doesn’t spill over to school. I’m not sure I could be near them and not engage.
“How bad was the gossip today?”
He ducks his head.
“That bad, huh?”
“I’m sorry. I wish there was a way to smack some sense into everyone’s head at once. If they knew you, they’d know you were innocent.”
“Thank you, Luc.”
I’m not sure if I’ve said that to him enough.
If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be right now.
“You don’t have to thank me, Ever. I’m just glad I can be here for you.”
He holds my gaze a little longer than necessary and I break away first. The pool glistens with underwater lights and I get up and make my way to the edge.
When I sink down to sit, Luc gets up and comes over next to me. I dangle my feet in the water, watching the waves ripple out when I move them.
“I can’t swim.” I’m not sure why I’m telling him this but I can feel his attention focused on me. “Baz was teaching me. I hate being scared of the water, especially when it’s such a part of him. My sister swims like a fish, though.”
I stare out into the darkness behind the fence. I wish I could hear her voice right now. I sigh and Luc nudges my shoulder.
“Tell me something about her?”
I think about his question, wanting to remember something special, something important to share with him.
“When she was only a few months old, she almost died.” I don’t know why I picked that memory. It was one of the worst nights of my life. “I was seven when Belle was born. My mom brought her home and then left again. Didn’t tell me her name, I didn’t even know if she was a girl or boy until I changed her diaper. I named her Belle because she was beautiful, like the princess in the movie. She hardly ever cried, just watched everything I did. My mom rarely came home and I was used to it, so I guess taking care of Belle came naturally.”
I close my eyes and fight against the panic that still fills my veins when I think about what might have happened if I had of been even five minutes longer that night.
“So anyway, we were out of milk and Belle was sleeping on the floor, so I ran to the corner to get some. I was only gone maybe five minutes. When I got back, Belle wasn’t where I left her. I couldn’t find her. I thought someone had broken in and stole her.”
My chest constricts when I think about it.
“I was about to run to Mrs. Sewell next door to ask for help. I don’t know why I looked in the corner, but I found Belle tangled up in the phone cord. Her face was turning blue and she was barely making a sound. It was wrapped around her neck.”
I suck in several deep breaths. That image is seared into my brain.
“She must have rolled herself over there. I unwrapped it and ran to Mrs. Sewell, who called nine-one-one. Ironically our phone didn’t work because Mom didn’t pay the bill, so it was just there. I never even thought about the cord just laying there. They took her to the hospital and she was okay, but that was the day that the state stepped in and said our mom was unfit.”
I catch Luc’s stare.
“She never even came to the hospital, just signed us over when a cop finally tracked her down. We got put into foster care and that’s where we stayed. I swore to her that I’d always look out for her. That nothing would ever happen to her again. You want to know the irony? I did everything to make sure that Belle grew up safe, and it wasn’t until I was out of the picture that she found a place to call home. I guess I was the one holding her back the whole time.”
I close my eyes and fight back the rolling waves of failure. Maybe she would have been better off if I had never been in the picture. Maybe she’d be better off if I wasn’t now.
“You can’t possibly think that,” Luc says hoarsely. “God, Ever, you took care of her, you helped raise her and you’re the reason she became someone worthy of that kind of love. She found a family because you did such a good job.”
I brush away the tears clinging to my cheek.
“I have no idea why I chose that memory. There are a thousand ones that are much happier.”
Luc reaches out and lays his hand over mine. “Thank you for sharing that one. I admired your strength before tonight, but damn, I’m kind of speechless now. You’re amazing, Ever Darlington.”
The way he’s looking at me is more than friendly, but I feel so ripped open and raw from my confession that I tip my head and rest it against his shoulder. And hope that he doesn’t get the wrong idea, because right now, I just need a friend to lean on.
“Maybe one day you’ll tell me about this,” he says, trailing a finger down over my scar.
I close my eyes so he doesn’t see the guilt welling up in my eyes. I lean into his touch and pretend it’s someone else’s and feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world.
Chapter Six
Luc doesn’t knock to ask if I want to go to school in the morning so I don’t wake up until nine thirty.
I’m still feeling raw after last night. I have no idea what prompted me to tell Luc that story about Belle. I could have told him about the time we went to the park and I pushed her on the swings for five hours. Or about the purple unicorn I won at a street fair that she named Cheesy and never slept without.
I wish I had her number so I could call, but I’ll see her Thursday night. I wouldn’t miss dinner with her for the world, no matter what’s going on.
I text Meri and ask her to give X my new number. I’m not sure if he’s still planning to go with me or not, but I should have Bria’s number in case she ever needs to get in touch with me.
I may end up going to school just to do something. This sitting around for hours at a time is driving me crazy. I need to move.
I’ve never been one to exercise on purpose, but I dig my sneakers out and throw on a light pair of shorts and a tank top and head out the gate.
I use the map feature on my phone to figure out where I am and where to go. Then I just walk. An hour goes by and the sun rises higher. I check my phone and see where I can make a loop up ahead so I keep going.
This is what I needed. To get out and breathe some fresh air, away from everything.
Halfway around the turn, the back of my neck prickles like someone’s watching me. I glance around but see no one. The feeling stays and I realize how isolated I am. I haven’t seen a car pass by the whole time.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and I start to jog, glancing at my phone every few minutes to check where I am.
My lungs burn and my legs start to hurt. I’m not a runner but I force myself to keep going because the feeling is still there.
By the time Luc’s house comes into view, I can hardly pull air into my lungs and I’m on the verge of collapsing. Throwing myself through the gate, I make my way across the patio and into the pool house.
As soon as the door clicks shut I lock it, then slide down to the floor, sucking cool air into my lungs. Sweat runs down my face as I try to catch my breath.
My heart is thundering so loud I wouldn’t hear a marching band if it walked by right now. Inside my makeshift home the feeling fades.
By the time I can breathe without gasping I’ve decided it was my own imagination. After everything that’s happened, who can blame me?
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I push up on shaky legs and grab a water, then head to take a cool shower. It’s not until I’m dressed and sprawled out on the couch that I see X texted.
It starts with a what’s up? but after a few minutes when I didn’t answer, a string of one word texts fill the screen.
Ever
Pick
up
the
damned
phone
where
the
fuck
are
you
I’m about to reply when I hear a noise out on the patio, like a chair being moved. I sit frozen and listen, then jump when there’s a knock on the door.
I press my hand to my chest. Killers don’t knock, do they?
“Open the damned door,” a voice calls out and I spring to my feet.
X is there glaring when I throw it open and he moves inside without a word, kicking the door shut behind him.
“What the hell was that? You tell Meri you need to talk to me, then don’t answer when I try to reach you?”
I stand there with my mouth hanging open. He came to yell at me because I didn’t answer my texts?
“I went for a walk. I didn’t see them until just now.”
His eyes narrow. “You went for a walk alone?”
Okay, I like that the guys are protective, I can relate to that, but what the actual fuck?
“I’m a grown ass adult. I can go for a walk if I want to.”
He laces his fingers behind his neck and drops his head, exhaling loudly. His uniform shirt stretches across his chest and I give myself a few seconds to admire it before I let my anger back in.
“Seriously, X, what the hell is going on?”
When he lifts his head I see the war going on behind his eyes. “We got this, just promise you’ll stay here unless someone is with you.”
“No.”
His body goes rigid and he narrows his eyes.
“Yes.”
I fist my hands and take a step closer. Some of the tension leaves him and he quirks up one eyebrow. “You gonna hit me, sweetheart?”
It’s the way he’s looking at me, almost like he’s daring me to do it, that snaps my control.
I step into him, draw my arm back and drive it into his gut. The fucker laughs. I do it again and again until my knuckles hurt and he just stands there laughing at me.
Finally, he grabs my wrists and holds them against his chest, pinning them there.
“Feel better now?”
I drive my knee up and take pleasure in the way his mouth pops open and his eyes go wide. For a split second time freezes, then he lets go of my wrists and drops to his knees.
“Fuck,” he wheezes out, cupping his dick and rocking back and forth. “What the fuck, Ever?”
I take a step back and cross my arms over my chest.
“Now I feel better.”
“Damn it.” He gulps air into his lungs and squeezes his eyes closed. The satisfaction of bringing him to his knees fades the longer he stays there, face scrunched up in pain.
I wanted to hurt him, but maybe not this much.
I go to the fridge and grab a cold bottle of water and bring it back over to him.
“Here, press this against your crotch.”
He looks up at me through his eyelashes and I feel bad.
“You pushed me,” I tell him, crouching down so that I can slip the bottle into his hands. He hisses out a breath when I press it between his legs.
“I might never be able to have kids now. I think my balls are somewhere in my throat. Fuck that hurt. Never been kicked there before.”
The apology crowds my lips but I don’t let it out.
“You owe me an explanation.”
He eases back so that he’s resting his back against the door, bottle still between his legs. The pain flooding his eyes has nothing to do with his dick.
I sit down across from him and cross my legs.
“What aren’t you guys telling me? Last night you were acting weird and today, you show up in a panic because I went for a walk?”
He drops his head back with a thud and closes his eyes.
“You just gotta trust us, sweetheart.”
I snort. “Sorry if I’m not feeling real confident in that department right now. You stood there and let the sheriff take me to jail, you let me sit in there for two days and then I think you paid the bail but sent Luc to get me.” My throat goes tight. “You stood there and lied about the letter, X. I know you saw it. It was right there on top of the papers.”
“If I said anything, Pete would know that we knew he set you up.”
His admission makes no sense.
“And maybe I wouldn’t have gone to jail.”
He winces and pulls the bottle from between his legs.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to punch the sheriff and grab you and run. We all did. It fucking killed us to see that look in your eyes, like we betrayed you.”
“Didn’t you?” I grind out. “You keep saying you did all this to keep me safe, to trust you, but none of you trusted me enough to tell me the truth. It goes both ways.”
He looks torn and I press forward.
“Tell me what’s going on. Make me understand so that I can trust what you’re telling me.”
“Fuck, sweetheart, I can’t.”
I uncross my legs and stand up. Tears burn my eyes and I fight not to let him see.
“Tell me or get the hell out, Xavier.”
My voice breaks and he cringes at the use of his full name. I’m not sure I’ve said it before now because he’s always been X to me. Agony is painted all over his face, broad strokes that deepen the lines between his eyes. He slowly gets to his feet, but when he takes a step toward me, reaching out for my hand, I step back out of reach.
His gaze searches my face but I force myself to stay strong. Just tell me, please, I beg internally, but from the sadness in his eyes I know he’s not going to.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from begging. He opens his mouth and my heart skips a beat.
“Be careful.”
Then he turns, opens the door and is gone again. I don’t know how long I stand there staring at the door, but it’s long enough for the disbelief to morph into seething anger. I want to throw something, to destroy everything in my way.
I want answers and all they do is spout macho bullshit about keeping me safe. I’ve spent my entire life taking care of myself, I don’t need three egotistical boys to do it for me now.
I’ve had enough.
I grab my phone and start to tap out a text to X. I’d send it to all of them but I don’t have their numbers, which only pisses me off more. Just as I get ready to hit send, I hear the knock.
The anger melts at my feet and I toss my phone on the couch.
He changed his mind.
I throw open the door and the earth drops out from under my feet. Every muscle in my body locks up and even though I want to slam the door, I can’t move.
“Hello, Ms. Darlington. We need to talk.”
Peter Panchard walks into the pool house like he owns it and me.
“Close the door, I’ve got a new job for you.”
Chapter Seven
I don’t close the door. In fact, I edge closer to the opening and look out past the pool. I hold my phone to my chest, my only defense.
“He’s already gone. It’s just you and me. I waited until you were alone. Thought you’d never get back home.”
Oh my god. “It was you? You were watching me?”
My knees feel like jello. I wonder if I can make it across the patio and into the house before he catches me. Sourness coats my tongue.
“Is this where you call the police and have me arrested for violating the restraining order?”
He throws back his head and laughs. “If I wanted you back behind bars, that’s where you’d be. No, Ms. Darlington, you are exactly where I want you to be. Now come in and sit.”
“I’m good.” I lean
back against the door jamb and cross my arms. A flicker of annoyance moves over his face.
“There’s something I need that I want you to get for me.”
“Been there, done that, ended up in jail,” I say. “No thanks.”
He pushes to his feet and stalks closer. He really is a big man, more than a foot taller than me and way more than a hundred pounds heavier. I swallow loudly and try not to let him see how intimidated he makes me.
I should probably cut back on the sarcasm a little, too.
“Do you value your freedom, Ms. Darlington? How about your sister’s safety? It would be a shame for you to end up in prison and for her to be thrust back into the foster system. There are a lot of people out there who really don’t care, as I’m sure you know.”
I grit my teeth. He knows exactly where to hit me. I’m the one who gave him that power. “What do you want?”
“I want my chip back.”
This is about the chip?
“It’s already out that you’re Trey’s father. Even you can’t hide it now. What good will the information do you?”
“What I want it is none of your concern. Get me the chip and you can live your life and so can your sister.”
I lift an eyebrow. “Not going to warn me away from your boys this time?”
“They can go with you for all the care I have for them.”
I rock back. I knew he didn’t act like a father toward them but this was cold.
“They’re your sons.”
“They kept Wendi happy. They are nothing to me.”
“You’re a monster,” I grit out.
“And don’t you forget that. I need the chip by Friday at midnight. And trust me, if I have nothing to lose, you can be assured I will take everything from you before I go down. Think of this as a partnership. We both gain something we want. You’ll walk away free, your sister will get adopted by the people she loves and this will all be just a bad memory.”
“You really think you can just force people to do whatever you want them to?”
His smile turns feral. “No, Ms. Darlington, I always make sure that they have no choice in the matter. Midnight Friday. Not a minute later.”
He sets something on the table and moves past me. I pull myself as far away from him as possible. When he’s out of the house I can finally take a full breath. Having him on the other side of the door makes me feel a little braver.
