by L. E. Bross
He guides my head against his chest and I lay right over his heartbeat, letting the sound lull me until my eyes drift shut and I fall asleep safe in his arms.
I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next few days, but I do know one thing. I’ve found my home and it’s not any one place.
It’s where my Lost Boys are.
Chapter Nine
The place we’re really staying is nice.
More than nice, it’s luxurious, but I’m sure that a clean cardboard box would have been a step up from that last place.
I step out of the shower smelling like mangos and run a towel over my hair. The robe I have on is so fluffy I never want to take it off.
When I walk into the living room, because yes, this is a suite with two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room, three heads swivel my way. I stop and stare at them.
“What?”
Riot’s eyes drop to where the robe stops mid-thigh and I can’t help remembering the car ride. God, I’m equally parts mortified and empowered by that.
I let me gaze slide to X.
“It’s nice to have you back with us,” he says, his usual easy going demeanor sobered. “Feels like I can finally fucking breathe again.”
Baz catches my gaze, but drops his quickly. I frown. I hate that he’s blaming himself for this. I walk over to where he’s got several screens and his laptop set up. I don’t even pretend to know what he’s doing, but it’s something judging by the lines of code scrolling by.
“That looks impressive,” I say, coming up behind to rest my hands on his shoulders. When he leans back into my touch, I trail my fingers over his neck and watch goosebumps rise up.
“Not impressive enough.” His deep sigh makes my chest ache. He sounds tired. And frustrated. They all do. And it makes me wonder what’s been going on since Friday night.
I turn and lean against the desk next to Baz.
“Time for twenty questions.”
Baz glances up, the question in his eyes.
“They said if I didn’t kick them in the balls they’d answer my questions.”
Baz swings around but X throws his hands up. “She got me once already, I’d like to keep everything intact.”
Riot scrubs his hand over his face. “She should know. In case anything goes wrong. Plus, I don’t doubt she’d walk out the door if we don’t tell her and like it or not, she’s part of this. We need her.”
The way his eyes darken, I’m not sure he’s still talking strictly about their plan. When his eyes drop yet again to where the hem of my robe hits, I’m sure he’s not.
“Come sit.” He motions to the couch next to him and I hesitate, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Not if you think you’re going to distract me again.”
The corner of his lips quirk up. He looks so fucking boyishly charming when he does that that I drag my feet as I cross to the couch. I sit between them and they both lean closer.
Ry drapes his arm over the back of the couch behind me, teasing his fingers over the back of my neck, and X lays his hand on my leg. It’s just on my knee but his touch burns into me in a way that makes me worry one of these days, I’ll go up in flames.
But I’ll never deny that I love the way they always have to be touching me. As if reassuring themselves I’m there.
I clear my throat and Baz swings the chair around to face us.
“Fire away.” He’s not excited about this part.
“Okay, why didn’t any of you come to the jail?”
Baz never looks away from me. I think he wants me to know that even though he doesn't want to do this, he’s going to be honest.
“Because we didn’t want Peter to think we believed you were innocent.”
Even though I know they don’t really think that, it hurts. Because I did believe it for three days.
“Why?”
“Remember that morning when I said there was other stuff on the chip that I couldn’t figure out?”
I nod.
“It’s a program. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell it is, but it’s buried under the same kind of encryption that we use to hide spies who’ve infiltrated terrorist organizations.”
A chill washes over my skin and I shiver. I knew Panchard was a world leader in cyber security but I had no idea it went that deep.
“And that’s what Peter wants?”
“Pretty sure it is.”
“What does it do?”
“I have a few ideas, but I won’t know for sure until I can actually look at it.”
Frustration shines in his eyes and he clenches his teeth.
“We needed more time. He had you arrested as a power play. We’re pretty sure he was going to exchange you for the chip, which means whatever’s on there really is important. We needed to show you weren’t more important to us.”
He cringes and X’s hand tightens around me knee.
“It fucking killed us to watch them take you away,” X says hoarsely.
Raw agony coats his words. Ry’s fingers tighten on the back of my neck.
“Knowing you were all alone, thinking the worst of us.” Ry’s voice cracks and I shift so that I’m facing him. His eyes are pools of swirling grey shame, but under it I see steely resolve. “Hoped like hell you wouldn’t hate us when it was over, but we would have understood if you did.”
I reach out and cup his jaw and he tilts into my touch.
“Not that we wouldn't have gone after you and dragged you back to us.”
I don’t doubt it. Baz and X make a sound of agreement. I sit back, look each of them in the eyes then drop my gaze to my hands.
“I was scared. And I thought you believed him, too. It was devastating,” I admit on a whisper.
Ry pulls me against his chest with a groan, and I can feel his pain in every harsh breath he takes.
“Never again. We aren’t fucking leaving you ever again.”
I feel X’s hand on my back, firm and sure. Through my eyelashes I see Baz watching, determination set solid on his face. I understand. I’ve obviously done some questionable things to find my sister, to keep her safe.
We do what we have to do to protect the people we care about most.
I suck in a breath and sit up, and Riot reluctantly lets me go, though he keeps his hand firmly where it is. Not so much to anchor me, I realize. It’s more for him. To reassure himself that I’m here and okay.
“They all thought I set up the sheriff’s son, so that didn’t help. I was surprised the judge even granted bail.”
“That was Bill’s doing,” X says, leaning back. “The attorneys weren’t Peter’s. Bill hired them. He worked it all out, that’s why the money was ready so fast. They had it before they even went to court.”
That explained why they had the paperwork all ready to go, but not why.
“Why is he doing all this? He doesn’t even know me.”
And I know how Ry feels about him and Luc. I could feel the tension coming from him as Baz explained how I got free.
“He’s family,” X says. “Always been there when we needed him.”
“Did Luc know?”
Baz blinks and his gaze slips from mine.
“He knew?” I ask.
“Only that we needed his help bailing you out. He doesn't know about the rest of it.”
There’s something he isn’t telling me. I know them well enough now to know the look they get when they are purposefully withholding information. I also recognize the stubborn set of his jaw and asking him what it is pointless.
“That’s all he needs to know, too,” Ry says in a low voice.
“Might be harder to keep it a secret.”
Riot’s narrowed gaze snaps to Baz.
“Got a call from Bill. Luc called him and said that Ever went missing. He’s freaking out. Bill didn’t want to lie to him so they’re coming here.”
Riot explodes off the couch. “The fuck they are! Call back and tell them to stay the hell away. What if t
hey lead Peter here? This has nothing to do with them”
“Really?” Baz growls. “Because Bill paid a fifty thousand dollar bail for someone he’s never met because we asked him to. His son got shot protecting you. Wendi was his friend, too. He deserves to know what’s happening.”
“What if they lead Peter here?” Riot shouts. “You know damned well that’s why that bastard told Ever to tell us. So that she’d lead him to us. He’s got to be pissed we’re hiding from him and if you think he’s not smart enough to be watching the Hook’s now, your fucking crazy.”
“I’ve already taken care of it.”
Frustration and fury fill Riot’s face. I've never seen him look at his brother that way. I lean forward and grab his hand but he yanks it away.
“I need some fucking air.”
“Riot!” I yell but he’s already storming across the room to the door.
He doesn't even look back when he leaves, but the sound of the door slamming shut echoes around the suite.
“That went well,” X drawls. With a sigh he heaves himself off the couch. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
After X leaves, Baz stares at the door until I stand up, then he focuses on me.
“You hungry? I can make sandwiches.”
I need to do something to keep my hands busy or I’ll run out the door after the guys. I hate having them out of my sight, now that we’re all together.
He nods and his gaze drifts back to the door before he sighs.
“I think Ry is wrong about Bill and Wendi,” he admits. “I think he saw what he wanted to see because he was scared our family was falling apart. Peter was never home and Wendi only smiled when we went to Bill’s house, but I don't think they were having an affair.”
“No one ever asked Bill?”
“Wendi left, or we thought she did, and it fit the narrative. After that it didn’t matter. Bill was someone we could blame and by default, Luc.”
“That wasn’t fair to Luc. He loves you guys. You were his brothers, too.”
Baz ducks his head. “I know. Maybe when this is over we can get back some of it.” He looks up at me. “Or maybe not if Luc thinks he’s got a shot.”
I let out an exaggerated sigh. “It doesn’t matter if he thinks we’re going to get married, have twelve kids and grow old together, I know it’s not going to happen.”
Baz pushes to his feet and walks over to me. When he rests his hands on my hips, my breath catches. He’s been avoiding me out of guilt and the kiss at the track only reminded me that I need him, too.
He dips his head so that we are eye to eye and I feel his warm breath brush over my lips.
“Baby, all Riot sees is another Hook who can take away someone he loves.”
I blink at the sudden welling of tears. Damn it, why haven’t I figured that out by now? Baz reaches up and wipes way an errant tear that escapes, then presses his lips to mine.
The kiss is over before it really starts but I feel it all the way down to my toes.
“What can I do?” I whisper.
With a sigh, Baz pulls back. “There’s nothing you can do. Just be here. He needs to see that he won’t lose you.”
That’s something I don’t even need to think about doing because I don’t plan on going anywhere. Which means I might have to do something that could drive them all away.
I’m balanced on a double-edged sword and no matter which way I fall, someone is going to get hurt.
Chapter Ten
I fix Baz and me a snack, clean up the mess and then go grab clean clothes from my suitcase and change.
The room has a balcony that overlooks the ocean and since Baz is back to his computers, I decide to go sit outside. The water goes on for what seems like forever.
Below us, people mill about on the beach, couples walk hand in hand and families build sand castles.
It’s all so normal.
I’ve never done any of it.
I wonder if Belle’s new family does things like that with her. She deserves all of it. Maybe she and I can take a trip to the beach one day.
Someplace like where we are now, though I’m not really sure where that is. The guys didn't tell me where we were going and I was asleep when X carried me in earlier apparently.
All I know is I fell asleep in the car and woke up in an amazing bed.
Alone.
It freaked me out until I heard their voices. One of them left the door open, probably knowing I’d wake up and wonder. They take care of me like no one ever has in my life.
That part still feels strange. It’s hard to give up being the one in the caretaker role and I’m not sure I can stop. I know they want me to, but Peter is still pulling the strings and if Baz can’t figure out what’s on that chip, I’m going to have to give it to Peter to keep them all safe.
I rub my finger on the pulsing spot between my eyes.
All of them including Belle.
If I can’t make sure she’s safe and happy then I’ve failed. I really need to call and let her know I won't be able to make it to dinner Thursday night. I’m not cancelling on Saturday, though. I need to believe that by the time her recital rolls around, this will all be over.
I’ll never have to miss anything with her again.
I pull out my phone then remember that X has her number. A quick peek inside shows they aren’t back yet. Since patience has never been my strong point, I text X and ask him for Bria’s number.
Belle should be home from school by now.
I didn’t realize just how much I need to hear her voice until right this second. Every minute that X doesn’t reply is torture.
“Where did they go?” I ask Baz as I walk back inside.
He’s still at the computers, alternating between typing furiously and slamming his hands on the desk. I don’t think he’s having much luck.
“Hotel gym is my guess. Ry won’t have wanted to go far from you, but he needs to get some of that frustration out.”
I sit down on the couch and drop my phone in my lap.
“Do you really think telling Luc and his dad what’s going on will help?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t fight everything that’s going on. I give when I have to and I wasn’t going to argue with the man who made it possible for you to be here.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him quietly.
I hate the guilt that fills his face whenever he thinks that. I get up and move across the room. When I bend and cup his face between my hands, he tries to turn away but I don’t let him.
I press my lips to his but he doesn’t move.
“It’s not your fault.”
Desperation fills his eyes and I press my lips back to his.
“Baz, it’s not your fault.”
This time, when I kiss him his lips slowly part under mine. I coax, tease and then slide my tongue between them to play with his stud. After only a few seconds a guttural groan vibrates up his throat.
He reaches out and grabs behind my thighs, yanking me forward and onto his lap. The chair doesn’t have arms and I sit, straddling him, as he takes control of the kiss, gripping my face so that he can delve and take what he needs.
I inch my hips forward and feel the hard bulge against my center.
Now it’s my turn to groan.
I tangle my fingers in the hair at his nape and start to rock. I know he feels guilty and I hate that he’s hurting because he think he hurt me. I’d sit in jail for weeks if it meant having these moments with my guys.
“Baby,” he murmurs against my lips.
Goosebumps dance over my skin at the want in his voice. His fingers dig into my ass and he moves me against him like he wants. But it’s not enough. I need to feel him, I want that connection to him that means he’s mine.
I need him to know that nothing will ever get between us, not even clothing.
I carefully slip his glasses off and set them on the desk behind him, then slide my hands down and grip the edge o
f his t-shirt. He breaks the kiss long enough to allow me to pull it over his head.
He’s so fucking beautiful that I lean back so I can admire all the tanned ridges that line his stomach. I dig my nails into his broad shoulders, seating myself fully against him. This time we both groan when I move.
His arms go around my back and he eases me forward until his forehead is resting right above my breasts. He sits there breathing heavy, holding me, until I weave my fingers in his hair and tilt his head back.
“God, I don’t deserve you.”
It’s in his eyes that he believes what he’s saying and I have an equal urge to shake him until I can rattle sense into him and wrap him in my arms, never letting go.
If anyone deserves happiness it’s Baz. What he’s been through? God, he should only ever have joy in his life.
“Do I make you happy, Baz?”
“Fuck yes. More than I ever thought I could be.”
I catch his stare and make sure he sees me, really sees me.
“Do you think I deserve to be happy?”
“I want to spend every day of my life making sure you are.” His eyes turn to pools of dark melted chocolate and I swear I can see our future in them.
It’s terrifying and exhilarating and I didn’t know I wanted it so badly until right this minute. I want Baz and Riot and X forever. My throat goes tight. I know I’d do anything for these guys.
They are my home. My family.
They are mine.
I am theirs.
I pull my tank top over my head and watch as Baz’s pupils expand, the black eating up the dark brown, as he looks at me. My nipples pebble in the air-conditioned room.
“What are you doin’, baby?”
His voice is raw and I watch his tongue come out, rolling along his bottom lip. The glint of his tongue stud sends heat pooling between my legs.
I urge him closer. I want his mouth on me.
Instead, he leans forward and stands.
I squeak and lock my ankles around his waist, holding onto his shoulders as he walks toward the balcony. I press my chest against his. The sun is behind the hotel, throwing shadows against the ocean now, but I can still see people down there.
“What are you doing?”
“Being happy,” he says, nipping up my neck.
