by Harley Wylde
My bike ate up the miles, and by the time night fell, we’d pulled up to the gates of the Dixie Reapers’ compound. A Prospect let us through, but once inside I wasn’t sure where to go. I braced my feet and let my bike idle while I waited for instructions.
Torch ambled out of the clubhouse and approached our small group. He went up to Beast’s window and waited while my Pres rolled it down. The man winked at his daughter and smiled into the back seat at his granddaughter, Madison.
“There’s an apartment set up for you, one for Ranger and Brick, and another for Hawk,” Torch said. “You remember where they are. The doors are unlocked. The one on the far left is stocked for your family. The old ladies left some things in there for Madison. Gifts. Hope you have room to take it all home. If not, my woman is going to start bitching I need to take her to Tennessee.”
Beast chuckled. “I can see Madison is going to be spoiled.”
Torch nodded. “That she is. The apartments for the others have beer and basic shit stocked. After you’re settled in, stop by the house. My wife has been baking and cooking all day, and I think she bought out the butcher so there’s plenty of steak to go around. Bring your brothers with you.”
Beast nodded. “We’ll be there.”
Great. Just fucking great. Like I wanted to socialize tonight after the long-ass haul here, especially when I hadn’t wanted to come. I didn’t know of a way to back out without offending Torch, and I damn sure didn’t want to hurt Isabella’s feelings. She was a sweetheart.
“It’s mostly family,” Torch said. “But a few of the other Reapers may drop in for a few. Everyone wants to take a peek at Madison, even if it’s from a distance.”
Torch backed away and we followed Beast through the compound to the apartments. He parked in front of the one on the end, with Ranger and Brick next to him. I took the next one over. They were all one level, but connected to form a line of six. They’d started out putting in duplexes, from what I’d been told, but had given them to the prospects to share. Instead, they’d followed the example of the Devil’s Fury and put in small two-bedroom apartments for guests.
I retrieved my duffle from Lyssa’s SUV and tossed it into the apartment I’d be using for however long we were here. If I was going to be somewhat presentable for dinner, I needed to shower and put on clothes that weren’t covered in road dust. The apartment had one bathroom with a shower/tub combination. I cranked the water and let it heat while I pulled out some clean clothes. The Reapers kept each apartment stocked with travel-size shampoos, soaps, and other necessities. I grabbed what I needed for my shower and stripped out of my clothes.
I scrubbed my hair and beard before soaping my body. Closing my eyes, I let the hot water beat the back of my neck. The last fifty or so miles, tension had slowly crept into my body, and now I ached and was fighting back a headache. I wondered what Hayley was doing, or if she even still lived here. She was young and could have taken off for some other town by now. Especially since her stalker was rotting in prison.
Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead to the tiled wall.
You need to forget her. She’s long gone. You’re too damn old for her anyway.
Easier said than done.
How did you forget the most perfect woman you’d ever met? I liked her quirkiness, her curves, and her passion. As for her age, I could lie to myself all I wanted. Truth was, Beast and Lyssa had just as many years between them, if not more, and they seemed to have the perfect relationship. Age was a number, but maturity was another matter. I didn’t even mind her having a pet raccoon. It just added to her cuteness.
As with nearly every time I thought of Hayley, my dick got hard. I reached down and gave it a stroke. Didn’t matter how many times I yanked one out, it wasn’t enough. I’d still be unsatisfied when it was over.
I remembered the way Hayley had looked in the moonlight, spread out under me. I stroked harder, thinking of how hot and tight she’d been. I’d never felt anything so perfect in my life. Groaning, I tightened my grip and tugged harder. It was only another moment before I came, my release spraying across the shower wall.
I stared down at my still half-hard dick and gave a humorless laugh. Nothing ever worked. Unless it was Hayley on her knees in front of me, or spread out like a buffet, I’d never feel satisfied again. I knew it in my gut. I needed to find her. Maybe if I saw her again, she wouldn’t seem as wonderful as she had before. Perhaps my memory of that night, and the brief encounter later, was faulty.
But first I needed to get through dinner at Torch’s place.
I finished cleaning up, then dried off and pulled on fresh clothes. I combed back my hair and smoothed down my beard. Pulling on my cut, I checked over my appearance in the mirror. I looked tired as fuck and felt it too. A glance at the time told me we’d probably need to head to the Pres’ house in a moment. Not enough time to take a nap.
I heard a bike start up nearby and cracked my neck, trying to prepare for being pleasant for the next hour or two. I wasn’t up for it. Then again, I hadn’t been up for it a lot lately. If I wasn’t trying to drink myself to sleep, I was trying to keep busy so I didn’t think about Hayley. Beast had known the moment he saw Lyssa she was meant to be his. Was the same thing happening with me? Had I gotten so hung up on Hayley because she was mine?
* * *
Hawk
I got on my bike and waited for Ranger and Brick. Lyssa’s SUV was already gone, so I figured they’d gone to her parents’ house early. When my brothers came out, I started the engine on my Harley Davidson and took the lead. I’d been to Torch’s house before, when we’d visited previously. His wife, Isabella, was always welcoming and had a smile for everyone. Seeing the two of them together made me wish I had a woman by my side. Someone sweet like her, but who could handle this way of life.
I saw several bikes out front, which meant the others he’d expected were already here. Or at least some of them were. I hoped this didn’t turn into something huge because all I wanted was to crash for a while and wait for the days to pass. Being here, knowing Hayley was possibly within reach, fucking sucked.
I heard the noise out back and walked to the gate, letting myself through. Brick and Ranger were on my heels. I scanned the large yard, spotting Beast and Lyssa with Torch and Isabella. Their other kids were playing with some of the Reapers’ kids. Madison, the baby of the hour, was in her grandfather’s arms. The Reckless Kings were my family, but seeing this, all the kids and old ladies, it made me realize that having a club of brothers was awesome, but my life was still missing something.
I heard a baby crying in the back corner of the yard and turned my head in that direction wondering who else had a baby. My gaze landed on one of the newly patched members of the Dixie Reapers, and when I saw the baby in his arms and the woman standing next to him, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut.
Hayley.
She was with Viking? And they had a baby?
I sucked in a lungful of air. Before I realized what I was doing, I’d taken a step closer to them, then another. The baby was turning red in the face as Viking tried to soothe her. Hayley reached for her, placing the baby against her chest, her expression pinched as she rubbed the infant’s back.
“Hayley,” I said, wondering why my voice sounded so strange even to my own ears.
She jolted and looked at me, her eyes wide and panic flashing in them. Why the hell would she be scared of seeing me? Was she worried I’d lash out because she was with someone? I glanced at Viking. He seemed a little too laid-back considering I’d just walked up to his girl.
“Hawk,” she said softly, drawing my attention. “It’s been a while.”
I nodded, eyeing the little girl in her arms. With all the pink, I assumed it was a girl. The baby was still crying. No, more like screaming. My brow furrowed, wondering if she was all right.
“Hayley, why don’t you take Freya inside?” Viking suggested. “Might be too much going on out here for her.”
H
ayley nodded, clutching the baby to her. She brushed past me and headed for Torch’s house. I wanted to follow, but knew it wasn’t my place. I saw Cuddles streak across the yard and chase after her, slipping into the house right on her heels. It seemed the raccoon had even made himself at home here. My chest felt tight as I realized she’d moved on. I’d been thinking about her non-fucking-stop for a damn year, and she had a kid with someone else. What the fuck? Had she gone after this guy the next day? Was that why she’d acted like I was a stranger when her dad had introduced us?
“Freya is special,” Viking said. “And so is her mom.”
I nodded. Couldn’t disagree about Hayley. And since Freya was Hayley’s kid, the baby was probably as awesome as her mother. All the screaming aside.
“You’re a lucky bastard,” I said. “Hayley’s one of a kind.”
Viking folded his arms over his chest. “Odd thing to say for a man who took her innocence, then left without giving her another thought. You may have caught her stalker, but when she needed help again, where were you? I know Preacher called and told you she was in trouble. I’d think if she were so special, you’d have wanted to spend more time with her. Not fuck and run.”
My hands fisted at my sides, and I fought not to take a swing at the prick. I might be the VP of another club, but I was at Torch’s house. I wouldn’t disrespect a member of his club, no matter how much I wanted to put him in his place.
“She didn’t come back before I left,” I pointed out. “It wasn’t like I knew where to find her, but she damn sure knew where I was. I figured she didn’t want more from me. When I did come back and saw her again, she acted like we had never met. It was clear she’d moved on. I’m guessing she’d hooked up with you by then.”
Viking shook his head, his lips twisting as he muttered under his breath. “You’re both quite the pair. She’s scared shitless you didn’t want her, terrified what you’ll do when you…”
He stopped and stared up at the sky.
“When I what?”
Beast and Torch came over, flanking me. I thought they were here to either put me in my place where Viking was concerned, or back me up. It never occurred to me they wanted to make sure I wouldn’t lose my shit, or run away like a little bitch.
“When you find out you have a kid, and your woman is too fucking scared to tell you because she thinks you’ll hate her,” Torch said.
What. The. Fuck. “I don’t understand.”
“I think you do,” Beast said. “Freya isn’t Viking’s daughter. She’s yours.”
My vision tunneled and I heard my heartbeat in my ears. It felt like the world went away for a moment. The words played on repeat in my mind. I had a daughter. With Hayley. And she hadn’t told me? She was scared of me?
Fuck! What had I done to make her think I would hurt her? Or our kid? Shit. This was seriously fucked-up, and I didn’t know how to fix it. But I now understood why Beast had insisted I come with him. Why hadn’t she said something before now? I didn’t know how old Freya was, but had she known when I’d been here the last time?
Beast gripped my arm, holding me upright. “Easy, brother. She thought she was doing the right thing. Didn’t think you wanted a kid, or her. She didn’t want to track you down and saddle you with a responsibility you never asked for.”
I ran a hand down my face and shrugged off the Pres. “I’m fine. I just… What the fuck is she doing with Viking?”
“Your girls needed a place to say,” the giant blond said. “Hayley lost her job and her apartment. I’m just being a good friend, letting them have someplace safe to stay while your Pres got you here. We were hoping you’d pull your head out of your ass.”
I had a kid? With Hayley?
I tried to think back to that night. What had I said or done that made her think I’d throw the two of them away? All I’d thought about since then had been her. I’d wanted her with me, hoped she’d reach out. It wasn’t like I’d known how to reach her. And maybe I’d been a chickenshit and hadn’t wanted to put myself out there. No one liked being rejected. In hindsight, I could have maybe asked Preacher if he knew how to get in touch with her. But I’d thought she hadn’t wanted anything to do with me. It never occurred to me she was keeping her distance because she’d found out she was pregnant and thought I wouldn’t want either of them.
“Go talk to her,” Torch said. “But don’t stress her out. She’s been puking her guts up since she found out you were coming. It’s not good for her, or for Freya.”
“Freya,” I murmured, still dazed from the knowledge I had a kid. One dressed in pink at that.
I tugged my arm free of Beast and turned toward Torch’s house. My steps were slow and measured as I crossed the distance and went inside. I didn’t want to make Hayley run off, but Torch was right. We needed to talk. I found her in the living room curled into the corner of Torch’s couch, our daughter in her arms and Cuddles sitting on her feet. Freya was still screaming, and I worried something was wrong with her.
“Is she all right?” I asked.
Hayley flinched and glanced my way. “The doctor said it’s called purple crying and should pass soon.”
I sat next to her, staring at our daughter. I hadn’t planned to be a father anytime soon, or ever. It seemed life had other ideas. I reached out and ran my finger over Freya’s arm, marveling at how soft she felt. The little girl hiccupped and turned her gaze my way, quieting a little.
“Do you want to hold her?” Hayley asked.
I rubbed my hands up and down my thighs. “I don’t know. I’ve never held a baby before. I might drop her.”
“Hawk, she’s your daughter. You won’t break her,” she said.
I gave a jerky nod and held out my hands. Hayley handed her to me and showed me the correct way to hold her. Freya had gone quiet and seemed to be content staring at me. Did she know I was her dad? Could she somehow sense it?
Cuddles chittered and scurried into Hayley’s lap, watching me carefully. I wondered if he thought of Freya as his, like he’d claimed Hayley.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she said. “I thought I was doing the right thing. You seemed worried when you realized we hadn’t used a condom.”
“I know nothing is foolproof, Hayley. Not condoms or birth control pills. Not even that shot thing.”
She sighed. “Right. Except… we didn’t use any of those things.”
I managed to pry my gaze off my daughter and looked at Hayley. “What?”
“I lied. Or rather I omitted the full truth?” She licked her lips and turned her face away. “I could tell you were going to freak out, so I lied by omission to keep you from worrying you’d gotten me pregnant. I mean, what were the odds? When I found out we really had made a baby that night, I didn’t think you’d want either of us. I was trying to give you your freedom.”
I could have kicked my own ass right then. Was I pissed she’d kept my daughter from me and denied me the chance to experience the pregnancy with her? Sure. But I could admit I wasn’t totally blameless either. She was right. If she’d said she wasn’t on birth control that night, I might have freaked out a little. Until I realized I wanted to keep her around. It wouldn’t have mattered then. If anything, I’d have been excited over the idea of having a baby with her.
Hell, if she’d given me a chance, I might have tried to get her pregnant on purpose, just to have a reason to hold onto her.
“Hayley, keeping her from me was wrong. Even if I’d been pissed, don’t you think I should have had a chance to decide that for myself?”
She winced and I saw tears gather in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be selfish or a bitch.”
“I know you weren’t, baby. I’m not angry, at least not entirely with you. If I hadn’t made you think I didn’t want a kid, then you’d have found a way to reach me. At least, I’d like to think you would have.” I looked down at my daughter. “Or would have told me the next time I was here.”
She smiled faintly. �
�Would have been easier than doing all this on my own.”
“On your own? I thought you had family here.” I held her gaze. “Your dad obviously loves you a lot. He didn’t help?”
“I do have family. They kicked me out when they realized I was pregnant, and I refused to tell them who the father was. Makes my dad a big hypocrite since he knocked up my mom when they weren’t even dating, but it is what it is. He thought threatening to make me leave would make me tell him everything he wanted to know. It didn’t work. Now he’s too stubborn to back down, and so am I.”
I thought about my brief meeting with the chief of police. I could see him doing something like that. He seemed like the sort who required everything to go his way, at least where his kids were concerned.
“Your dad sounds like a dick.”
She snickered. “He can be sometimes. Then again, not many people tell him no or don’t give him exactly what he wants. Perks of his job, I guess.”
I tried not to flinch at her words, but would one of those things be my head on a silver platter? If I’d known she was a cop’s kid, I might have kept my distance. Yeah, probably something I should have known before I fucked her. Jesus. No wonder she hadn’t told her family who I was. If the man hated me for knocking up his daughter, he’d probably hate me twice as much when he learned I was a biker. The cops and bikers didn’t exactly mix.
He’d been thankful for my help when I caught her stalker. Didn’t mean he would welcome me into the family with open arms. More like with a shotgun and a freshly dug grave.
“You ready for some help?” I asked. “Because I’m here, and I’m not walking away from the two of you.”
Cuddles chittered again, waving a paw at me.
“Make that three of you.”
“I’m ready, Hawk. I just didn’t want to saddle you with a baby you hadn’t asked for. But if you want to be part of Freya’s life, I’m not going to stand in your way.”
I nodded. “We need to pack up your stuff. Ready to move to Tennessee?”
