by Harley Wylde
She blinked at me. “Tennessee?”
“That’s where I live, Hayley. I have plenty of room at my house to set up a nursery for Freya.” I reached over and placed my hand on her thigh. “And plenty of room in my bed for her mom. I’m not walking away this time. You’re mine and so is she.”
“And Cuddles?”
“Cuddles can come too. I’d never make you give him up. Besides, if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have met.”
She seemed antsy, her fingers twisting in her lap and her body tensing. What had I said now? She licked her lips and couldn’t seem to look me in the eye.
“What exactly does that mean?” she asked. “To be yours. I don’t want any misunderstandings between us.”
My dick had been had half-mast since I’d seen her tonight. What did it mean to be mine? I wanted her as my old lady, in my bed, a part of my life. I wanted everything. That’s what it meant.
I blew out a breath and went over the basics with her, since I didn’t think she’d been around the Dixie Reapers enough to understand what it would be like to be part of the club. When I mentioned being my old lady, I waited for her to have a fit at any moment and refuse to leave with me. Surprisingly, she took it all rather well. Now I just needed to let the club know I needed a property cut. I was taking my family home.
Since the Pres had dragged me here, and seemed to already know about Freya, I wouldn’t be taking it to a vote. They were mine, and any fucker who said otherwise would be swallowing his teeth.
Chapter Six
Hayley
Tennessee. I was in another state, far from my family, and I was completely alone. All right. Not entirely. I had Hawk. And Cuddles.
He’d traveled surprisingly well and hadn’t tried to run off whenever I’d stopped to give him bathroom breaks. I’d worried he’d slip his leash and I’d lose him on the way to our new home. Hawk had been great about helping with both Cuddles and Freya.
Freya had been fussy the entire way here, and I’d had to pull over frequently. Hawk hadn’t seemed to mind. At least, he hadn’t looked pissed off. He’d led the way, with the understanding I’d flash my lights if I needed to stop. He probably hadn’t realized I’d be getting off the highway once an hour. It had taken forever to get here, and I ached from head to toe. Not to mention the headache from hell because of Freya’s screaming.
Torch had asked for a volunteer to drive one of their trucks here with the rest of my belongings. I’d fit what I could into my car. Mainly Cuddles, Freya, and anything we’d need immediately. Everything else had gone into the back of a truck and Viking had driven it here for me. I heard him talking to Hawk while they set up Freya’s crib in a spare bedroom.
Hawk had already pulled out the bed he’d had in there and moved it to a storage building somewhere on the property. It wasn’t his personal one, but something the entire club used. Freya was quiet for the moment, sleeping in her carrier. I’d unhooked it from the base, and it was currently on the living room floor near the couch. I hadn’t set Cuddles free since Viking and Hawk had been in and out, bringing in my things. He’d chittered at me from his kennel, but seemed to be sleeping now too.
“Must be nice,” I muttered, rubbing at my eyes, then massaging my temples.
I heard a curse come from Freya’s new room and stood, stretching. As long as she was secured in her seat, and Cuddles was locked in his carrier, I didn’t see why I couldn’t leave the room. I staggered my way to the nursery, rubbing at my back. The crib I’d had at home hadn’t passed Hawk’s inspection. He’d claimed it wasn’t sturdy enough and we’d left it behind, but he’d called ahead and asked one of his brothers to buy one before we got here. It had been in a box in the carport when we’d arrived.
They had the frame together, but seemed to struggle with the piece that held up the mattress, and hadn’t put in the storage drawer either. Hawk’s hair stood up in disarray, like he’d been running his hands through it. Viking seemed more amused than anything.
“Are the two of you playing nice?” I asked.
Viking winked at me. “Hawk is determined to do most of the work himself. I’m apparently in the way.”
“She’s my kid. I should be doing this,” Hawk said.
My heart warmed a little at his words. He’d reacted to having a baby far better than I’d thought. Other than being upset I’d kept the pregnancy from him, he seemed ready to jump in with both feet. If only I’d had the courage to seek him out sooner. He’d missed so much already, and I felt horrible about it.
“None of us have had dinner yet,” I said. “Aren’t the two of you hungry?”
Hawk froze and dropped the screwdriver. “Shit.”
Viking snickered. “Forget to feed your woman on her first night here?”
“Shut it, asshole,” Hawk said with a hint of a growl to his voice. He sounded downright savage when he did that. It should probably bother me that it turned me on. A lot.
“I can just order something. Pizza? Chinese?” I winced, remembering I couldn’t exactly order anything unless Hawk gave me money for it.
“That look right there,” Hawk said. “What just crossed your mind? Because I don’t like it.”
“I can’t pay for anything. I’m completely dependent on you, and I just volunteered to spend your money on Chinese, which I know isn’t the cheapest thing to order.”
Hawk came closer and tugged me into his arms. I clutched at his shirt, burying my face against his chest. “I’m not giving you an allowance like you’re a kid, Hayley. If you want to order food, get whatever the hell you want. We’ll go to the bank this week so I can add you to the account.”
“Hawk, you don’t have to do that.”
He tipped up my chin so I had no choice but to look at him. “Baby, you don’t have to do everything on your own anymore. I have more than enough money to take care of you and Freya. I want to. So no arguments.”
Before I could utter another word, he placed his lips on mine. The breath stalled in my lungs. I melted against him, transported back to our first night together. Hawk deepened the kiss, his fingers tangling in my hair. I clung to him, my body aching and wanting more. Why did I go up in flames with him and only him?
He drew back and released me. I swayed a moment, a little dizzy and feeling drugged from his kiss. He pulled his wallet from his jeans. He handed me his bank card and pressed a kiss to my forehead. The gesture was so sweet it made my eyes mist with tears. Great. I’d gone from throwing up to crying at the drop of a hat. What the hell was wrong with me?
“Chinese sounds good, if that’s what you want to order,” he said. “Okay with you, Viking?”
“Yep. I’m good with whatever. As long as you don’t feed me raw fish. I draw the line at sushi.”
I wrinkled my nose at the thought, making both men laugh. I went back to the living room and grabbed my phone. I hadn’t even thought about losing my service. It was just one of those pay-as-you-go types, but it had been all I could afford at the time. My minutes and data would expire in less than a week. I’d bring it up to Hawk another time. Poor man had to feel like he’d been hit by a bus.
He’d arrived in Alabama a single man with only his club responsibilities and left with a woman and baby. I was so grateful. Not just to be here with him, but also because he hadn’t gone into a rage over Freya or the fact I’d not been completely truthful with him.
We hadn’t had a chance to really talk. We’d left the party after a bit and gone to Viking’s house, since that’s where all Freya’s things were. Once Freya had gone to bed, I’d been so exhausted I’d fallen asleep. Since I had woken alone in my room at Viking’s, I’d thought maybe Hawk had changed his mind about us moving in with him. Then he’d shown up at breakfast and asked how long it would take me to pack.
I looked up the number for a local Chinese restaurant and was thankful to see I could order online. I wanted shrimp fried rice and orange chicken with egg rolls, but I had no idea what the guys wanted. Walking back to the nurse
ry again, I got their order and submitted everything, then paid online with Hawk’s card.
Except his card didn’t say Hawk.
Alexander Goff.
He’d never told me call him anything other than Hawk, so I’d keep using his club name -- or whatever the term was. Unless he said otherwise. I ran my fingers over his name and smiled. It seemed like such a normal name for a guy who was anything but. Freya started fussing, so I took her from the carrier and checked her diaper before sitting on the couch to feed her. I used her blanket to cover myself, in case Viking walked through. Hawk had already seen my breasts so I wasn’t worried about him seeing me breastfeed, but I’d prefer the blond giant not get a peep. He typically made himself scarce when it was Freya’s mealtime, but I didn’t like taking chances.
I knew it was society that made me uncomfortable doing something as natural as feeding my daughter, but I honestly didn’t want random strangers seeing my breast anyway. Getting naked in the open like I had with Hawk that night was so not the norm for me. I’d never been one for wearing daring clothes. The night I’d met Hawk, I’d been in what I called my around the house clothes. Something I usually didn’t wear out in public, but Cuddles had wanted to go out and I hadn’t taken the time to change. I preferred to have all the important bits covered in public, even for something like breastfeeding. I didn’t have a problem with other women who were braver than me, feeding their babies in the open. It just wasn’t for me.
When Freya had finished, I burped her, checked her diaper again, and decided to hold her until our food arrived. Except… we were behind a gate. Exactly how was our food getting here? I’d seen someone on the gate, like at the Dixie Reapers. Would they let in someone with a food order? Or did we need to let someone know there would be a delivery? Crap! I buckled her back into her seat since I didn’t have anywhere else secure to place her just yet.
I hurried back to the nursery. “Hawk, how will our food get here?”
His brow furrowed. “Didn’t you ask for it to be delivered?”
“Well, yeah, but they can’t exactly get to the house.”
His expression cleared. “Right. Kye was on the gate earlier. I’ll call and let him know we have Chinese coming. He’ll get the food and have someone bring it to the house.”
It seemed I had a lot to learn about living here. I wouldn’t even be able to order a pizza without having to take extra steps. It was… odd. On the other hand, they were very careful about who came inside the gates. Which meant I’d be safe, and so would Freya. I hoped I didn’t come to regret the decision to move in with Hawk. We didn’t know much about each other. What if we fought all the time?
I felt his fingers on my cheek and I jolted. My nipples hardened at the contact, and I hoped he didn’t notice. I might have moved in with him, but I didn’t think I was ready to jump into his bed. My body, however, had other ideas. Already I felt my panties getting damp just from being so close to him.
“There you are,” he said, a slight smile curving his lips. “You disappeared inside your own head for a bit there.”
“I think I’m a little overwhelmed,” I said.
“I get it. We’re both going to have to make a few adjustments to our everyday lives. Until now, I’ve lived alone. As for you, you’ll have to learn the ropes around here. Lyssa is from your hometown. Were you friends back home?” he asked.
“No. I mean, we knew each other, but I wouldn’t say we were friends.”
“Well, she’ll be a good source of information for you. She grew up in this way of life, and she stepped right into the position of Beast’s old lady with ease. I’m sure she’d be happy to help you figure things out.”
“You said I’d have to wear something that says I’m your property?” I asked, not sure how I felt about being owned by someone.
“A property cut.” He ran his fingers down my cheek. “It shows everyone you’re mine, and they’ll know not only to keep their hands to themselves, but they’ll give you the respect you deserve.”
“You didn’t just land a biker,” Viking said. “You got the VP of the Reckless Kings.”
VP. Like Mariah’s dad, Venom. Did that mean everyone would be watching me closely? What if I screwed up? My stomach started churning again and I pressed a hand to my belly.
“Think we’re freaking her out again,” Viking said. “She looked like that a few seconds before she puked the first time.”
“First time?” Hawk asked.
“She’s been a mess since she came to my house. She’s spent the last four days throwing up off and on. Too much stress I think. Between not knowing how you’d react, being homeless, Freya crying non-stop… she’s on overload,” Viking said.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Hawk, you home?” someone yelled out from the front of the house.
Freya started screaming almost immediately, which set off Cuddles. I hurried to my daughter and unstrapped her from the carrier again. Viking was right about me being a hot mess. I wasn’t sure I’d survive Freya’s purple crying. I wanted to burst into tears myself because I honestly didn’t know if I could make it through another day. The constant crying and all the uncertainty in my life made me want to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb like a baby.
“What the fuck, Nitro?” Hawk demanded as he stomped into the room.
“Sorry. I brought your food.” He lifted the sacks of Chinese food. “Didn’t mean to scare the shit out of the kid.”
“Her name is Freya,” Hawk said. “From now on, no one just bursts into my fucking house. Got it? Make sure everyone knows.”
Nitro nodded, eyeing Freya like she was a bomb about to go off. Honestly, I felt that way some days too. I loved her, more than anything, but she was exhausting. At least I now understood why she was crying so much. It made me feel a little less like a failure as a mother.
“I’ll just put this in the kitchen,” Nitro said, scanning me from head to toe before he walked out.
“You should introduce your new family to the club,” Viking said. “Or you may get more unexpected guests. Beast is the only one here with a woman and kid, right?”
“Yeah,” Hawk said.
“So, everyone is going to be curious about Hayley and Freya. Better to rip off the Band-Aid and let everyone see them.” Viking shrugged. “It’s what I’d do anyway. But you know your club better than me. It’s just a suggestion.”
Hawk nodded. “Not a bad one either. I’ll set something up for day after tomorrow. I want Hayley to have time to rest after the trip here.”
When he said sweet, thoughtful things like that, it made me want to kiss him. So far, he’d kept everything PG. At least, when it came to hugs and kisses. I’d gained some baby weight that hadn’t gone away after I’d had Freya. What if he didn’t find me attractive anymore? My hips were bigger, and so was my ass. Granted, my breasts were still on the larger side since I was breastfeeding, but once they were no longer swollen with milk, the doctor said they would probably shrink.
I knew I had dark shadows under my eyes, and enough luggage for a family of twelve. My hair wasn’t quite as glossy as before, and I often didn’t even remember to brush it. I felt worn down and very unsexy. I knew Hawk had to have women throwing themselves at him. Was he already with someone else?
Oh, God.
Had he been with someone since the night we’d been together? Or several women? I knew it hadn’t been his first time. Far from it. And we weren’t exactly a couple. There would have been no reason for him to abstain from sex. My heart rate spiked as fear and jealousy swirled inside me. I didn’t like the idea of other women touching him. Kissing him. The thought of him being intimate with other women made my stomach churn.
“I’m going to be sick.” I thrust Freya into Hawk’s arms and ran for the bathroom. I hit my knees and threw up in the toilet, extremely thankful there didn’t seem to be pee on the bowl or the floor. Either Hawk had great aim, cleaned up after himself, or didn’t use this bathroom. Whatever the case,
I was glad it wasn’t dirty.
I dry-heaved when I had nothing left in my stomach. Tears streaked my cheeks and snot ran from my nose. I cried and curled up on the floor in front of the sink.
Hawk knelt by my side, pushing my hair back from my face. I didn’t know where he’d put Freya, but he wasn’t holding her. “Hayley, baby, what’s wrong?”
I just shook my head. I couldn’t talk to him, not about this. I didn’t want to come across as an insecure little girl, even if it was how I felt. He was older than me and probably dated more sophisticated women than me. Maybe I really had wrecked his life by telling him about Freya. He said he wanted to be part of our lives, but he could have done that without us living here. He didn’t have to “claim” me to be a father to our daughter.
Viking stopped in the doorway. “Your daughter is fastened back in her seat. I’m going to finish unloading the truck, then I’ll take my food to go. I think the two of you need some time alone. I won’t head out tomorrow without saying bye first. Also, I think Cuddles is ready for a jailbreak.”
Hawk ran his fingers through my hair, patiently waiting for me to either say something or get up. I finally pushed myself upright and reached for some tissue to blow my nose. Well, he’d definitely seen me at my worst now and he wasn’t running away. That had to mean something, right?
“I’m going to find the bedding for the crib and put Freya to bed. Then you and I are going to eat some dinner and talk,” Hawk said.
“All right.” My voice came out scratchy from all the crying and throwing up. I winced at how horrible I sounded. Standing up, I rinsed my mouth in the sink and tried to clean myself up a little. I went to get my toothbrush and toothpaste, needing to scrub my mouth clean. Afterward, I felt a little better. Or at least less gross.
I went to the kitchen and pulled the remaining food from the sacks, setting it down on the table. They’d included chopsticks, but I didn’t know if Hawk ate with them or not. I decided to get forks for both of us, but it took a few tries to find the right drawer. By the time the table was set, Hawk was walking into the room and Freya was surprisingly quiet.
