by RJ Blain
“There’s the police academy. That’s almost like a school for real adults.”
“Cute, Detective Hunk. I’d like to remind you that there are fraternization rules among cops. There are fraternization rules among FBI agents, too.”
“That’s true. Your application to attend a school for real adults has been denied, rejected due to scheduled seductions.”
“Can I ask a potentially sensitive question?”
“Go for it.”
“Did your crazy ex schedule seductions?”
Raymond snorted. “She declined my offer and got angry with me for not trying hard enough.”
What a foolish woman. “Did you cook for her?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Is she stupid?”
“I wouldn’t say so. She just expected me to read her mind and romance her in an approved fashion, but she never wanted to tell me what the approved fashion was. She’s complicated.”
“How is asking to be seduced not romance?!”
“I’m not sure.”
I thought about it while he drove, and Luke and Eddy tailed us to the dealership. “I don’t get it.”
“I think she wanted dinners out and roses. All she had to do was ask.”
“And how would you like to be romanced, Detective Hunk?”
“I’m a simple man with simple needs. Do what makes you happy. Most of all, remember I exist.”
How could I forget? “The game is on. Consider your wish my command.”
There was one thing I did well. I never forgot my people.
“Seriously? A Mercedes dealership?” I pointed at the lot, well aware Raymond concentrated on driving. “You’re making me come here?”
“I’m not technically making you do anything. I’m just driving this vehicle to the address your boss gave me. He thought you’d like the vehicles, and any one you pick from here will be better than Sergio’s SUV. Luke was the one who forced you into my vehicle.”
My boss played dirty, and I liked how Raymond shifted the blame to Luke. “Add a reward for yourself to our schedule. That was well played.”
“I can understand why your quads get damned touchy about you. You’re probably like this all the time, except instead of scheduling seductions, you improve their work environment. I’ve been doing some research, and I was wondering why your units have such a higher performance record than others in the area.”
“I treat them like they’re humans and assets worth having rather than just draft recruits who have to serve a few years before they’re free from duty. That helps. I try to cultivate their jobs as potential careers, too. My career quads get more perks, and everyone knows it—but I let the draftees enjoy some of those perks when they earn it, too. Right now? I could have called more quads in from the field to help deal with this case, but I won’t unless I direly need to.”
“That’s one hell of a perk. Nobody wants to deal with a warlock.”
“Especially me.” I sighed at the selection of luxury vehicles on the lot. “What type of vehicle should I get?”
“An SUV and a motorcycle. The motorcycle is fun, will let you slide through traffic as needed, and the sport model will keep up with just about everything. I’ve been told water elementalists are particularly durable, so the odds of you surviving a crash are good.”
“A motorcycle?”
Raymond sighed. “I have it on good authority if you don’t pick a sporty car out for yourself, a conspirator is purchasing a motorcycle for you. I regret having given my cell number to certain individuals.”
My parents were assholes. “That sounds like a stunt my father would pull.”
“He’s rather convinced you wouldn’t know what fun is if it slapped you in the face.”
“Well, shit. What are my choices in color?”
“You don’t get a choice in color. They only come in one color.”
I scowled. “What’s the point if I can’t customize it?”
“I did question that. He thought the Mercedes might be a good ride for you. Cops in the area prefer Harleys, but he thought he’d get you something a little different. If you want fast, I’ll just tell him to get you the BMW.”
“I want fast.”
“BMW it is. It comes in blue.”
“We aren’t at a BMW dealership, I’ve noticed.”
“You can get a nice SUV here. Then we can get the BMW, or I can text the conspirator and tell him the model, make, and color and have him deliver it to your house feeling like he’s done something nice.”
My father had even more issues than I did. “He’s feeling guilty Donners got the jump on me, isn’t he?”
“Have you been reading my text conversations?”
“No. I just know my idiot father. Act like I got really excited about the idea of a motorcycle to make him happy. I’ll even use it for work sometimes to make him happy.”
“I have to admit, you have a very strange family, Bubbles.”
“It’s part of the whole coming back from the dead thing. You should’ve seen them right after I’d gotten back from New York.” Those days had been rough, and I’d spent too long trying to rediscover who I was. “Even after all these years, I don’t know if they really know what to make of me sometimes.”
“This sounds like a conversation for later tonight. I make a mean margarita, and I suspect once you get started, you’ll want one.”
“You’re a very wise man, Detective Hunk. Even though I’m not a fan of alcohol, I shall make an exception this once.”
He chuckled, parked his cruiser near the front doors of the dealership, and released me from the back seat. “I try. Fair warning. Your father has recruited Luke and his quad to evaluate your mood today, so act excited to be car shopping. Your mother is probably going to show up at dinner with more duck, of the eating variety, because they’re having dual meltdowns.”
“They’ve adopted you, haven’t they?” Poor Raymond. Eddy, Luke, and most of my quad members got similar treatment whenever I brought them home to my parents for the first time. “It’s okay to tell them no if they overstep your boundaries.”
“They’ve been fine, and I want to get my hands on that duck recipe.”
“To be fair, I want you to get your hands on that duck recipe, too. Go for the egg rolls at the same time. And the roll sauce. She makes that from scratch, and it’s so much better than what you can get in the store.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Eddy parked nearby, bounced out of her SUV, and skipped over. “This is great. I’m being paid to shop!”
“And you’re also being paid to help me hunt a warlock. The shopping is the reprieve from dealing with the warlock, so don’t get too excited there, Eddy.” I grinned at her. “After this, we get to go to the library and pore over books all day.”
“Your heaven is my hell. I’ve got journals, laptops, and tablets in the back for us. There’s also a new phone for you.”
“A new phone?”
“When my brother gives me a phone and says it’s for you, I shut up and give you the phone.” Eddy dove to her SUV, rummaged in the back, and returned with a slender phone wrapped in a baby blue case. “Don’t lose it, keep it charged, and I’m to notify you that I, Luke, Luke’s quad, and the smug, hotter than hell detective staring at your ass have tracking access.”
I glanced at Raymond, and sure enough, his attention was fixed on my legs. “I’m wearing jeans and he has an issue with legs, Eddy. Leave the poor man alone.”
“Not going to bubble him? You should bubble him.”
I crossed my arms and arched a brow. “No, I’m not going to bubble him for admiring the local scenery. I’d have to bubble myself multiple times a day if I started disciplining people for that.”
“You’re sucking the joy out of life today, Olivia,” the dragoness complained, offering me the phone.
I dumped it in my purse to join my other phone. “If he killed my other line, I’m killing him, so if he’s killing my other lin
e, you best be calling your brother and telling him. I will delay my trip to the library if needed.”
“I’ll make sure he knows your other phone line is sacred.”
I nodded and eyed the various SUVs on the lot. “Raymond?”
“Yes?”
“Pick a nicer SUV than what Sergio has for me. I’ll take it in silver, add the bells and whistles, and let’s get out of here. I bet you can cut through the dealership bullshit without me having to bubble an annoying sales person. In exchange, I’ll nag my father about your dog. And I’ll start stalking Chief Kirkland on your behalf.”
“Deal.” The cop strode into the dealership, leaving me with Eddy.
Luke and his quad joined us, and Luke scowled. “What did you just do?”
“I told Raymond to pick the SUV and get it in silver so we can get out of here sometime today.”
“Olivia,” he complained.
“What?”
“That’s not how this is supposed to work. You’re supposed to explore, fall in love with a vehicle, and buy the one you love.”
“It needs to get me from place to place while being nicer than Sergio’s. That’s it.”
“Olivia.”
“What, Luke? I’m mostly going to use it for work. When I want to get a fun car, I will. This is a ‘get me to work’ car. It’ll also be useful for work, unlike a sportier model. Give me a break.”
Luke sighed.
Isaac chuckled and shrugged. “Well, we tried. It’s our fault for assuming we could get her to change her colors just because we made her go to a car dealership.”
“Nobody made me come. I just don’t want to have to ask someone to pick me up for work every day.”
Eddy smirked. “That fine, fine detective could drive you in.”
“That fine, fine detective has his own job to worry about, and he’s already dealing with feeding me. He doesn’t need extra added to his plate. Would it make you happy if I wandered around the lot and looked at the offerings?”
“Yes,” everyone chorused.
“Fine. Go inside and help Raymond make sure the SUV has all the bells and whistles. I’ll wander around the lot. I don’t want to deal with pushy salesmen today, okay? And no, I don’t need to be supervised while roaming a car dealership lot. Away with you fiends.”
The fiends laughed and beelined for Raymond, and I hoped the detective would forgive me for subjecting him to a hyperactive quad plus Eddy. I browsed the vehicles on the lot, at a loss why people spent so much time picking a car. Some of them looked pretty, but beyond that, the appeal made little sense to me.
A flash of gold caught my eye, and hovering nearby, an inch-long yellow and white koi floated in the air, watching me with dark eyes.
Hypnos.
I engaged the shimmering fish in a staring contest. Its fins waved as though caught in a gentle current, and light streamed through its translucent body. A single, dark tendril extended from the koi’s mouth.
I encased its magic in ice along with its tiny tail. “I don’t think so, buddy. I got you once. I can get you again.”
San Francisco was my turf, and I wasn’t going to let some fish with godly aspirations stomp all over my turf.
Within my thin cocoon of ice, the blackness vanished.
I thawed my ice, but kept the bubble of water floating in the air beside it.
Hypnos darted into the water and made itself at home.
Well, then. I closed the distance between us, dodging around the nearest vehicle, a luxury family car too expensive for my taste. I checked the parking lot for any signs of Euthal, tensing in anticipation of the fight I didn’t want anything to do with.
When I ran into the bastard, a fight would happen, and I’d rather be the one to make the first move.
The koi swam in circles in the sphere, and golden flecks of light shed from its body.
With no one to target, I glared at the fish caught in my bubble. “And what are you doing here?” I asked the fish.
The fish ignored me.
I shrugged, held out my hands, and held the globe, creating an outer layer of ice, careful to keep a film of air between the interior sphere of water and my temporary enclosure. I carried it into the dealership, where Eddy, Luke, his quad, and Raymond negotiated with several salesmen.
“Hey, Luke. Look what I found.”
Luke turned to me, his gaze dipping to the water I held in my hands. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“It was just swimming along, minding its own business. As it seemed happy enough to go into the bowl, here we are. I need my scanner, Luke. Do go get my scanner. Also, remind me to get a bigger purse so my scanner is always in it.”
Isaac beat Luke out the door, and Luke shrugged and came to my side. “That’s really it?” He leaned closer for a better look.
Hypnos ignored my quad leader, a wise decision all things considered. I liked fish, but I didn’t like fish who touched my people. As it was, the fish and I were going to have some serious words about its behavior once I figured out how to communicate with it.
“But why is it here?”
“Why would I know? I didn’t see anyone in the parking lot. That doesn’t mean Euthal wasn’t there, but I didn’t see anyone.”
Isaac returned with my scanner, and he booted it up. Within moments of the screen flashing to life, it beeped to warn me it detected a signature. He tapped the screen, and a few moments later, it beeped again.
Yep. Hypnos had come right to me, and it had gone into one of my bubbles without a fuss. “Euthal’s signature?”
“Faintly present, residual.”
“Hypnos?”
“Faint but active.”
We all stared at the fish. I laughed, a weak, strained sound. “It probably doesn’t want anything to do with a warlock, either. Think it ran away?”
“It looks pretty docile. Are you really sure that’s Hypnos?” Luke asked, peering at the fish in the ice bowl. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that was just a regular pond fish.”
“I’m not keeping it in my pond.”
“That’s probably wise. But where are we going to keep it?”
I had no idea. I shrugged. “How goes the car acquisitions?”
Raymond chuckled. “Good. You have paperwork to fill out.”
Bleh. Paperwork. “Okay. Let’s get the paperwork done and get out of here. Luke, you keep that scanner out and tuned to Euthal. If he comes anywhere near us, I want to know about it.”
“You got it, boss.”
Chapter Thirteen
While I handled paperwork for my new SUV, a sporty model with every bell and whistle Raymond could add into it, I kept Hypnos on the salesman’s desk. Mr. Hardy stared at my icy prison for the tiny fish god with wide eyes. While too polite to ask, I could see the questions etched in his expression.
I ignored his curiosity, kept an eye on my prisoner, and signed where told, grumbling at my thousand dollar a month new bill. In truth, I wouldn’t miss the money, and I’d appreciate having a vehicle as soon as it was delivered next week. In the meantime, I’d have to rely on Luke and his quad to get to work, but until the situation with Euthal was resolved, they’d be underfoot anyway.
Somehow, I’d have to convince them to leave my house for one night so I could attend my seduction as planned.
Maybe I’d have to ask for a gag. A little extra flair to the seduction wouldn’t hurt, and a gag might help keep the quad in the dark about my evening activities if I couldn’t get them to leave.
Once I finished signing over my wallet to the dealership, I hauled Hypnos to Luke’s SUV and set it on the hood, once again engaging the fish in a staring contest.
It lost interest in me quickly and resumed swimming in lazy circles.
“It looks like a fish, it acts like a fish, and if the scanner wasn’t telling me this is Hypnos and that I can see through the damned thing, I’d probably believe it was just a fish.” I tapped the icy surface of its prison, and the fish came over to invest
igate. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“You’re the boss,” Luke said, his tone smug.
“And that’s a third shit case just for your enjoyment.”
He laughed at me. “You’re not even going to give me one shit case because I’m helping you with this warlock.”
Damned uppity minion. “Get in your SUV. We’re still going to—”
My scanner squealed an alarm.
“Six o’clock, ten feet,” Luke reported.
I encased as much of the space he called out without touching any of the expensive vehicles surrounding us. Someone cursed, and a tall figure with pale skin and white hair, dressed in a pair of torn jeans and a button-up, denim shirt, materialized and dove out of the field of my influence.
Dimitri Damascus Euthal.
Fury burst through me. I shot a lance of ice at his foot, and the lethal tip stabbed through his cowboy boots and embedded in the asphalt.
He screamed, and a black and blue cloud enveloped him. When it dissipated, all that remained was blood staining the ice and ground along with a few scraps of torn leather.
Hypnos’s bowl melted, and the fish fled its prison. Instead of running away, it darted at my foot before vanishing in a flash of golden and white light.
Spewing curses, I snatched the scanner out of Luke’s hand and checked the readings.
The alarm quieted, and the device reported only residual magic remaining, which weakened with every passing breath.
“That bastard,” I snarled through clenched teeth. I focused my attention on the ice I’d left, careful to separate it from Euthal’s blood. “Isaac, I want that blood in a vial before it bakes to the pavement. Ethan, are you detecting anything?”
“Your ankle is glowing,” Ethan reported. “And your ankle is definitely radiating something. It’s creepy.”
Great. My foot was possessed by a fish with aspirations to become a god. Sometimes, humor was the only way to deal with a shitty situation. “Essence of terrified fish?”
“A haunted fish, maybe?”
“No more haunters, Ethan. I’m done with haunters for this month. There is not a haunter on my ankle. Am I clear?”
