“Is there any way you could prop me up outside? I want to gaze at the rock while the wagon airs out. Then maybe in a bit I can get the washing started.”
Eli laughed. “I’ll bring you outside, but you will not be doing any washing.”
“But…” She stared into his eyes and nodded. “Fine, I’ll be a lady of leisure today, though I’m not sure how to.”
“Just do what Cheryl always did. Nothing.”
“Oh, that’s not nice. It’s true though.” Amy laughed until she tried to move and then she winced again.
“I’ll go see what I can arrange.” He kissed her forehead before he climbed out of the wagon. From what he’d observed in others, a rattler bite was mighty painful, but his Amy was putting on a very brave face. She was a wonder. Eli wasn’t a bit surprised to find Smitty there with his tea all ready. He seemed to have a special intuition as far as the Todd brothers were concerned.
“She wants to sit outside.”
Smitty nodded. “Best thing for her, a bit of sunshine and fresh air. Would you be willing to have Lynn look after her for a bit? She needs something to take her mind off little Danny’s passing. She worried most of the night about Amelia.”
“I’d be much obliged if she would. It seems I have clothes to wash, bread to bake, butter to make and a few other things.”
Smitty threw back his head and guffawed. “I can teach you all that. This way you’ll have learned from the best.”
Eli laughed along with him but then suddenly grew serious. “I don’t know how you’ve done it all these years. You took care of Mike, Jed, and me. You taught us how to lead a party while taking care of all our needs. You cook, you always had clean clothes for us, you doctored us up plenty of times, and you’ve listened to all our worries. I don’t think we could ever thank you enough.”
“I didn’t do it for thanks. I do it because you’ve become my family.” Smitty handed Eli the coffee pot and a cup. “Go and make sure your wife drinks some of this before we move her.”
Eli took the pot and cup and then watched Smitty walk away. Smitty was right, they were family but had any of them ever thanked him? Smitty wasn’t the type that wanted extra praise or even extra money. It was always a comfort to know that Smitty had his back.
Chapter Seven
Three weeks later Amelia was tempted to pull her hair out. She wasn’t used to being coddled and although Eli was being very attentive toward her, she wanted to scream. He finally relented and allowed her to drive the wagon only because she swore she would walk if she couldn’t drive. Her leg did hurt but she was determined to do her fair share. She knew in her heart Eli would never leave her behind but what happened with the Cruthers crowded into her head leaving her confused and doubtful.
It was funny how the tide had turned in the party. The Cruthers were one of the leading families and many stood with them but little by little their friends started to keep their distance. The snake was the tipping point. The rumor that it had been the Cruthers spread rapidly among the travelers. But without proof no steps could be taken to actually accuse them.
Amelia took the offered friendship of others with a grain of salt. Too many people were fair weather friends and those she didn’t need. Most evenings they ate with Smitty, Jed, Lynn and her boys. Amelia itched to take her turn cooking but Eli wanted her to rest.
Quite frankly, she was done with resting. Sure it hurt when she walked, but when had it not hurt? Eli had told her they had few more days with water close at hand, and then sixty miles without it. She wanted to wash clothes, take a dip in the river, grease the wheels.
But he’d wanted her to sit. And he was being too nice to her. Kindness was one thing but overdoing it was not so good. It was suffocating her.
She climbed down off the wagon bench and knew she was expected to sit and watch while everyone worked, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. Instead, she walked toward the wooded area and kept walking. She found a boulder that overlooked the Sweetwater River and carefully climbed up and sat on it.
Here she could breathe and think alone. The cool breeze and the roaring of the river calmed her soul. She’d come a long way from being that frightened girl the Cruthers left behind. She was a married woman now and she wanted to be a part of her life. She didn’t want to be an observer from the wagon seat or from a crate.
Who were her real parents? Did they not want her? It didn’t make much sense. Since there was an inheritance they must be dead. The Cruthers were being tight lipped about the whole thing. She might never know.
The sun was setting fast. She’d been there much longer than she intended. What she hadn’t thought about was how she was going to get down.
She studied the boulder to see if there was an easier way down. Climbing up, she’d used a lot of arm strength, but going down would require jarring of her leg. She shook her head at her stupidity and then she gritted her teeth. She had no choice.
“Amy!” Eli’s shout sent relief pulsing through her.
“I’m over here!”
A moment later Eli was visible, and he wore a thunderous expression. She’d seen that look before but not directed at her. She released a sigh. There was no help for it. She’d have to hear him out.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” He marched until he was just below her. “Do you know how scared I was? You could have been hurt by an animal or taken by Indians.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren’t. I almost lost you once to a snakebite, and that was hell on earth, but for you to just walk away from camp is irresponsible.”
A lone tear trailed down her face.
Eli took off his hat and slapped it against his thigh. “Now, don’t go crying.”
She lifted her chin. “I’m not. You don’t scare me. I’ve been screamed at plenty in my life. What’s a little more screaming?”
His shoulders sagged a bit and the lines around his lips softened. “I was afraid for you. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled. Why didn’t you tell someone where you were going?”
“If I had mentioned I was going for a walk, I wouldn’t be alone. I just wanted to be away from camp for a while. I wanted to think, and I wanted to feel the nature all around me without someone asking how I was.” She wiped the wetness from her cheek with the back of her hand. “Eli, I’m not a china doll that you put away to keep it from breaking. I’m fine and I’m going crazy watching people do everything for me.”
He studied her face for a bit and then nodded. “I guess I’ve overdone it a bit.” He glanced at her and then at the ground and then back at her, amusement dancing in his eyes. “How were you going to get down?”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Slowly? I didn’t think about getting down, only about climbing up here. It was a bit short sighted of me.”
Eli laughed. “You are never boring.” He reached his arms up. “Here, lean forward into my arms.”
She hesitated and he laughed some more.
“What? Don’t you trust me? I won’t drop you.” He cocked his right brow.
She took a very deep breath, closed her eyes and leaned forward. As soon as she was in his grasp, she opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. It felt wickedly wonderful to be so close to her husband. A thrill went through her body, and it excited her. As he lowered her, he kept her close to his body, and she tingled all over. “Th-thank you.”
His self-satisfied grin told her he knew what he’d made her feel. “I like having you close to me,” he murmured.
“It’s nice.”
He looked down at her and stroked her cheek. “Just nice? Not wonderful, or the best thing that ever happened?” His lips twitched as though he was trying not to laugh.
“Nice will do. Come let’s get back to camp before people begin to wonder where we are.” She side-stepped, intending to walk around him.
Eli moved like lightning, tugging her back and into his arms, and then he bent and kissed her. His lips felt so
masculine yet there was a silky softness to them. His arms around her were powerful but they were also gentle. His kiss ignited something inside her, something she’d only dreamed of happening, and longing and hope blossomed in her heart and soul.
Tentatively at first, she kissed him back, and when he deepened the kiss, she sighed. It felt so right to be in Eli’s arms. The kiss went on much longer than she ever expected.
The sound of a throat clearing came from close by.
She stiffened and bent her head, keeping her face hidden. She didn’t want to know who saw her kissing her husband in abandon. Eli kept her in the circle of his arms as he glanced over his shoulder.
“I found her, Jed.”
“I see that. I’ll let the others know you two are fine. See ya later.” There was a hint of amusement in Jed’s voice.
Eli held her in his arms until her heart stopped racing and her breathing evened out. “I suppose we should head back. I wish Jed hadn’t interrupted. I was enjoying kissing you.” He let her go and then took her hand. “You look very becoming when you blush.”
She didn’t know what to say. One compliment was maybe sincere, but more than one and she became suspicious. Maybe just maybe he really did think she was pretty. Maybe he liked kissing her too. She was quiet for a while and right before they reached the edge of the forest, she tugged on his hand until he stopped and looked at her.
“Eli do you really think I’m pretty? I’m not fishing for compliments but you’ve said it a few times and I was wondering…”
Eli silenced her with a kiss. “Does that answer your question?”
Her heart felt fuller. “I believe so.”
One week later, Eli watched his wife make breakfast. She was so efficient that no movement was wasted. He’d made it a point to touch her every time he was near. He wanted her to grow comfortable around him. He no longer put her back to her own side in bed. He allowed her to wake with her limbs entwined with his. At first she acted as though she’d committed a mortal sin and refused to look at him for the whole day but he supposed she must have realized there was nothing she could do about it. She seemed to accept it.
Today, they’d reach a place known as Parting of the Ways. It was a point where different trails could be taken. If one was inclined to go to California they would take a different route than the rest. There were two trails the Oregon bound people could take. One was Fort Bridger Route and the other was Sublette Cutoff. Eli had traveled both. It depended on the party’s need as to which one he would choose. Supplies could be had at Fort Bridger and it was an easier route but it was much longer than the Sublette Cutoff. The Cutoff shaved as much as eighty miles off their trip but it was a barren route with little to no water.
He walked to each wagon and told everyone that a meeting was being called after breakfast. He already knew which way he wanted to take them, but he wanted some input from the rest of the party. He’d heard men arguing the merits of each trail and a few had almost come to blows. It was time to settle it for once and all.
After he ate, he waited until Amy was done cleaning the dishes before he told everyone to gather round. He wanted the women to hear what he had to say as well. He stepped up onto a crate to be visible to most.
“As most of you are aware, we are coming to the place called Parting of the Ways. For those who don’t know that’s where anyone going to California turns off. Anyone going that way?” He didn’t think so, but he waited for anyone who wanted to speak up to do so.
No hands raised, the crowd remained silent.
“No? Fine then let me tell you about the two trails we can choose from. I want you to know I’ve traveled both. One takes us to Fort Bridger where we can get supplies and have some of the wagons fixed. It is a smoother way to go with plenty of grass and water. Now, there is also Sublette Cutoff. It is shorter by some eighty miles but there is no water and there is no grass. We’d have to travel well into the night each day to make it through before the livestock begin to drop. Both trails meet at the same point eventually.”
“Sublette is the way to go!” One man shouted. There were plenty who seemed to agree.
“We’re almost out of flour, and I need a new axle,” another man said.
“That’s your problem, not mine.” Benjamin Cruthers elbowed his way to the front. “I’m taking the Sublette Cutoff. Who’s with me?”
Too many of the party nodded, and Eli mentally groaned. He held his hand up for silence. “Who else is in need of supplies?” Many hands went up. “The needs of the party are utmost, and like I said there’s no grass for your oxen and there is no water. I’m not saying if any of you go that route you won’t make it. I’d like to meet with you before we go anywhere tomorrow to draw you a map and to make sure you understand what you might be in for. Like I said, I’ve traveled that way.” He jumped off the crate and walked back to the campfire and to Amy.
She poured him a cup of coffee. “Why even give them a choice? I would think it would only stir up trouble.”
Eli took a sip and then nodded. “On the surface that might be the best idea but if later down the line they found out I didn’t give them a choice there would be bitter feelings. I’ve found it best to be honest. Bitterness can lead to a gun at your back.”
Jed walked up and slapped Eli on the back. “You reminded me of our older brother just now. The way you stood there and very calmly gave them their options. Thank you. I was planning to go to Fort Bridger anyway. I wanted to see if there was any word about Lily.”
“You’re very determined to find your friend,” Amy commented.
Jed shrugged. “She has no family left, and she needs to be found.”
Eli nodded. It was much more than that to Jed. Hopefully there would be some word at Fort Bridger.
“Do you think most of the men who seemed to agree with Cruthers will go?” Jed asked.
“Truthfully, I don’t think Cruthers will go that way. He wants Amy dead, and I can’t see him parting ways with her. I bet when most of the men talk it over with their wives there will be very few in the end who will go that route.”
Jed laughed. “I bet you’re right.”
Amelia wished she could smile while she drove the wagon. The sun was shining and the grass was lush. It was lovely scenery, but her internal war gave her a headache. The last few weeks had been hard for her. Her wanton thoughts shamed her, and she didn’t have anyone she could talk to about it. It was bad enough she woke every morning practically sprawled on top of Eli but last night she’d peeked while he undressed.
A chill went through her. He was a fine specimen of a man. Every part of him was defined by muscle. He didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on him. Of course, she’d seen his bare chest before but she had a full view of his backside last night, and God help her, she liked what she saw. At that moment she wanted more than kisses, much more. What exactly she wanted, she wasn’t sure but she felt warm and wicked, and her heart pounded so loud that she was sure Eli could hear it.
She was as stiff as a board lying next to him last night until she finally heard his soft snoring. Her shame had increased when she’d found herself lying across his chest that morning. She couldn’t dress fast enough, she needed her space. The last straw was his kissing her. She always looked forward to them before but now she saw them for the danger they were.
Her eyes watered. She couldn’t have those feelings. They just led to unfilled desires and she couldn’t spend her life wanting something so badly. If he could read her thoughts he’d run in the other direction. She wouldn’t blame him if he did. A wife was supposed to be pleasing to her husband. She couldn’t possibly be pleasing to any man, not even Eli. He was a man who would take great pride in sons and daughters. There would be no children for him. Maybe if she showed him her hideous hip he’d sleep under the wagon. A tear followed by another trailed down her face. She didn’t have the courage to show him or tell him she was unable to carry a child. What was she to do?
Jed rode by telling her th
ey were stopping for the night. She managed to summon up a fake smile and give him a nod. It was going to be a long night. There were always visitors at their fire. People had questions and problems but after a while it was always just her and Eli. They never had trouble finding things to talk about. He’d been to so many places, but his face lit up when he talked about his ranch. But tonight…things would certainly change. She couldn’t be alone with him without him knowing something was wrong.
Her nerves stretched taut while they circled the wagons. She was left to take care of the animals herself but she didn’t mind. It was rare that Eli was too busy for her or didn’t send someone to do it.
“How good are you with a rifle?” Eli skidded Roman to a stop and jumped down. He grabbed his rifle from the scabbard and took his saddlebag.
“What?”
“Get down!” He grabbed her and quickly brought them to the ground. “Can you shoot?”
“Yes. I can load the rifle too. Eli, what is going on?” Her voice cracked.
“A wagon train about two miles from here was attacked and it looks like the attackers are headed this way. I want you to stay under the wagon and shoot this rifle if you have to. I need to make sure everyone else is ready.”
“Eli, don’t leave me alone!”
He hesitated and regret filled his eyes. “I wish I didn’t have to, honey.” He kissed her long and hard. “I love you!”
Before she could say a word, he was gone. For a moment, she was stunned with fear and then her survival instinct took over. She made sure the rifle was loaded and that she was familiar with it. Then she looked to see how much ammunition she had. The box was full. She poured some out onto the ground next to her and put the rest in her pocket. She might have to leave her position and wanted to be sure the bullets were with her.
She’d been so concerned about herself, she had shut out all noise, but now as she watched for the Indians she heard running, yelling, cries of fear. And the livestock were restless. They’d been brought into the circle of the wagons, probably for safety. Under the wagon was the safest place it seemed. The tension in the air was thick and she tried to keep her breathing nice and even so she’d be ready.
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