“When?” she asked.
“When he gets to it, I guess.”
Julie shook her head. “He needs to get to it before tomorrow. I’m not taking another cold shower.”
“Try telling him that then.”
Julie felt heat rush to her face. “If you want the rent to be paid on time, I suggest you fix the water issue on time as well. Goodbye, Mr. Walker.”
She hung up the call before he could respond. Maybe she was playing with fire. Surely, he couldn’t evict her for being rude over the phone. If he tried, she could sue. Probably.
Julie glanced at her phone again. It’d be weeks since she returned any of Melinda’s calls. This could be her excuse to call her back. Not that she needed an excuse. She scrolled through the contacts until she got to the M’s. Melinda’s contact name was listed as Minty. She clicked.
The phone rang twice before Melinda answered. “Julie? Is that really you?”
Julie rolled her eyes even though Minty couldn’t see it. “How are you?”
“Now that my best friend has finally emerged from out of that rock she was hiding under, I’m doing just fine.”
“That rock is sounding good right about now,” Julie said.
“Fine. I’ll stop teasing. How are you? How’s Baby?”
“Good on both counts. Can I ask you something?” Julie started to tell her about the conversation with Mr. Walker. This small talk was the real reason she’d avoided her friend’s calls. It seemed a little too cold though. “How’s Anne doing?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
“We aren’t exactly talking right now.”
Minty let out a quick laugh. Almost a scoff. “Yeah. I know. Because she still talks to me.”
Of course, Anne told her about their fight. Why had Julie assumed otherwise?
“Well, that’s why I haven’t asked her myself,” Julie said, starting to let her irritation show.
“I don’t understand why you two are fighting at all. She just wanted what’s best for you, and you are just being stubborn as usual. Just kiss and make up.”
Her words felt like a punch to the gut. No, wait, that was a punch to the gut. The baby was getting hungry again.
“I have to go, Minty. The baby is getting hungry and I don’t feel like having my bladder kicked. Talk to you later.”
“Julie, I was only kidding. I mean, kind of. You really should just call Anne. She wants to talk to you. She just thinks you don’t want to talk to her.”
Julie wanted to be angry, but she couldn’t. Her friends were just concerned about her. They should be. She’d been off the grid ever since she told them she was pregnant. They weren’t the only ones worried about her. Even her parents had left several messages begging her to let them know she was alright. She suspected this was only to ease their guilt. If she’d thought they were truly worried, she would’ve sent them a text.
“Julie?” Minty asked.
“Okay. I’ll think about it.” Julie said after a moment. “Bye.”
“You know I love you.” Julie could feel the tears starting to rise. It’d been a long time since she’d heard those words. “I’m family whether you like it or not. We both are.”
Julie tried to say something, but the lump in her throat stopped her.
“Okay,” Minty continued, sounding slightly disappointed this time. “Bye.”
Chapter 3
Anne would be arriving at any moment to go out for lunch. It seemed like a good idea to meet at the apartment when they’d spoken. At the time, she’d thought maybe if she saw where Julie was living, she’d finally stop worrying. Now, as Julie looked around her bedroom/kitchen, she felt a wave of anxiety rush over her. Her throat tightened and her pulse quickened. This was a terrible idea. Anne would take one look around and know she’d been right. “You would rather pay a thousand for this room than live with me for free?” Julie could hear her saying now with a hurt look in her eyes. Why shouldn’t she be hurt? She had chosen to leave the comfort of Anne’s two-bedroom apartment to live in this…sad studio.
Julie dialed Anne’s number to suggest they meet somewhere else instead. It went to voicemail after the fifth ring. The knock at the door made Julie jump and almost drop the phone in her hand. There was no way Anne had gotten to her studio since she’d texted the address twelve minutes ago. If it wasn’t Anne, who could it be? Nobody else knew where she lived. She’d made it a point not to invite anyone over. Maybe Mr. Walker had finally made it by to fix the hot water issue. Maybe he was checking on her freezer while he was in the building.
Julie swung open the door wearing her best smile only to find the hallway empty. Well, almost. Her eyes traveled downward as she started to close the door just in time to catch sight of the envelope on the hallway carpet. As she bent over to pick up the blank envelope, she glanced around. Whoever had left it there had left in a hurry. Why? Her heart slammed into her ribs. What if the envelope was from Peter? That would mean he knew where she lived. That would mean…
Julie locked all three locks on her door and took a deep breath. She was getting ahead of herself. For all she knew, some kid was doing some stupid prank. It made more sense to just open the letter and find out instead of panicking over what might turn out to be nothing. That was the logical Julie talking though. The paranoid Julie was still experiencing mild tachycardia.
The envelope wasn’t sealed when she turned it over. The top fold was simply tucked into the bottom flap. That was the way Peter used to—Julie grunted as the baby kicked her organs. All of this panicking was getting the baby worked up too. She needed to calm down. Lots of people did their envelopes that way.
Julie undid the flap and pulled out a blank blue card. The outside of the card said nothing. She opened the card. Inside only had a few words handwritten, and Julie could tell immediately that the handwriting didn’t belong to Peter. She could breathe again.
Sorry about earlier. Didn’t mean to scare you. I was on an important business call and couldn’t talk. Hopefully, we will have the chance to meet soon. -John
Julie smiled at the note as if she were smiling at John. Strangely enough, she felt as if she could picture his face already. She only knew three things about him so the feeling was based on exactly nothing. Still, though, she could see John being a guy in his late-thirties gleaned from the voice she’d heard briefly through the door. He sounded tall if that was a thing. Sure it was. People could sound tall. That baritone voice couldn’t come from someone short. Assuming by what he put in his card, he was a businessman. And he’d moved in some time in the last few days while she was at work. So, maybe that made him muscular. That one was a bit of a stretch, Julie had to admit. He was probably single if he was living in a studio this small. Also, if he’d had a girlfriend or wife, Julie would’ve heard them talking among other things through the paper-thin walls. So, she knew four things.
What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t sit and do nothing. If she didn’t let him know she’d received his card, it would seem she was rude or distant. She wanted to say thank you, but how? Only sending a card back seemed a little immature. Going over and knocking on the door would seem too forward after he’d ducked back into his apartment quickly to avoid speaking face to face. Why though? He said he hoped to see her sometime soon on the card. Why hadn’t he just stuck around for a few seconds after—Knock! Knock! Knock!
Was that him again? Julie unlocked the door and opened it just enough to see through the crack. A gloved hand pushed the door open further. Julie started to scream when she realized who the hand belonged to.
“It’s just me,” Anne said as she let herself in. “Cute place.”
“I wanted to tell you that I didn’t move out because I didn’t like living with you,” Julie said before she could lose the courage. “I truly appreciate you letting me stay with you all those months. I just needed to get back on my own feet.”
“You’ve already told me all that,” Anne said, still not turning to look a
t Julie. She was still examining the tiny space. “Do you like it?”
“Staying here?” Julie asked.
“Standing on your own feet,” Anne said, turning to face Julie. Her eyes looked glassy like she’d been about to cry. Maybe that’s why she wouldn’t turn around.
“It’s okay. I feel more independent. So, in a way, yeah. I do like it. If I’m going to be taking care of a baby, I’ll need to get used to taking care of myself.”
“What do you mean, if?” Anne asked, raising an eyebrow.
Julie replayed her own words in her mind. She had said if, hadn’t she? “I guess it’s not real to me yet. The idea that I will be taking care of a small human still seems like a dream I’ll wake up from soon.”
Anne’s expression was the same one that Julie’s teachers gave her when she told them she wanted to be an artist when she grew up. They’d look down at the tree that resembled Bob Ross more than something Bob Ross painted. Nodding along looked as if it was physically causing them pain. Anne looked like she was in pain listening to Julie talk about being a mom soon. Julie being a mom was almost as outrageous as Julie being an artist.
“Are you ready to go?” Anne asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah. Let me grab my coat.”
“Grab some gloves. The wind is awful today.”
Julie listened to her friend like a child listening to their mom. Anne would be a wonderful mom one day. Julie had thought more than once that her baby would be better off with Anne. It wasn’t the worst idea. Anne had always wanted to adopt. Still, this baby was Julie’s, whether she was ready or not.
“Hey, what’s this?” Anne asked.
Julie turned to see the plain blue card in Anne’s hand. “Oh, just a note from my new neighbor. He just moved in and we haven’t had a chance to meet yet. I guess that was his way of being neighborly.”
“He?” Anne repeated a little too eagerly. “Have you seen what the mystery neighbor looks like yet?”
“Lower your voice. These walls are useless. He can hear anything we say above a whisper. And no, I told you, we haven’t met.”
Anne smiled. “You don’t have to meet him to see him.”
“I haven’t seen him.”
“What happened to the old neighbor?”
“He died.”
Anne’s eyes widen and she starts to put on that look she wears when she’s worried.
“He was older and had a heart attack. Nobody mugged him or anything. This is a safe area.”
***
After the awkward lunch of tip-toeing around certain subjects about their last time together, Julie was emotionally and physically exhausted. Anne had insisted on walking her to the door even though she’d hoped to finally be alone with her thoughts after they’d paid the check. The thought itself had made her lunch do flips inside of her stomach. What kind of person was so eager to get away from their friends?
She’d been asking herself that for months, ever since that trip to Wallkill when she found out who Peter really was. The night she’d gone to dinner to finally tell her friends everything, after avoiding them for weeks, had been more painful than extracting each of her teeth without lidocaine. The way they looked at her was permanently burnt into her retinas. It was like a stain that she couldn’t scrub away. They looked at her like she was broken and fragile. Worse, they looked at her like she was naive. Julie hated to accept the fact that the real reason it’d hurt was that it was true. Everything they’d thought about her that night was true.
It was easier to avoid them than to face that fact.
Julie unlocked the door and turned around. “Thanks for meeting me. It was nice.”
Anne stepped forward and wrapped her long arms around Julie’s neck, squeezing her in tightly until Julie’s arm mirrored her own. “I don’t want to go this long without talking again,” she said into Julie’s ear. “Okay?”
Julie nodded into her friend’s shoulder. When was the last time she’d been hugged by someone? The fact she even had to wonder made her eyes feel watery.
“Love you, Jules,” Anne said, pulling back.
“Love you too.”
***
When the phone began vibrating on the countertop beside Julie’s head, she woke up with a gasp and looked around. The room was still dark other than the faint blue light escaping from the edges of her phone’s downward-facing screen. It buzzed again, letting her know whoever it was had called and not texted. Another buzz.
She groaned as she reached for the phone. What time was it? She’d gone to sleep around eight that night. After lunch with Anne, she’d been too tired to stay up any later. It felt like she’d been asleep for hours. The full brightness of the phone was unleashed as she turned the screen toward her. The darkness fled as the light replaced it. Julie squinted as her pupils painfully tried to shut out the blue glow. Her eyes ached.
Through the obstruction of her eyelashes, she could make out the fuzzy letters enough to see that the caller was her mother. The phone buzzed again. She could just let it go to voicemail. That’s probably what her mother had hoped for anyway. Why else had she called at—Julie squinted at the numbers on the screen that looked like squares—eleven at night? If she’d wanted Julie to answer the phone, she would’ve called at a reasonable time.
Julie set the phone down again, closed her eyes, and tried to drift back to oblivion. After a moment, her phone buzzed again. This time, it only buzzed once. The voicemail notification. Julie stayed still. The voice message would still be there in the morning. It didn’t make her a bad daughter to wait until morning to listen to a voice message that had been left practically in the middle of the night. One day, when her child was grown, she wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t listen to her messages until the morning. She wouldn’t leave them messages at crazy hours in the first place. She also wasn’t bipolar.
Julie reached for her phone and braced herself for the ridiculously bright light to blind her as she unlocked her screen. Sure enough, a small icon in the top left corner sat, waiting to be opened. Julie clicked on the icon and waited as the phone dialed her voicemail. She followed the prompts until she got to her mother’s message.
“Julie, it’s Mom. I know it’s late, but my sleep schedule has been kind of wonky lately, and if I don’t call you while I’m up, we might never talk.” A pause and a loud sigh. “Sweetie, I’m worried about you. I spoke with your father last week when you didn’t return my messages. He said he hasn’t heard from you either. If I knew any of your friends’ numbers, I’d call them. We just want to know you’re alright. You’ll understand that soon enough when the baby comes.”Another pause. “We don’t stop being parents just because our child grows up.” Her mother paused once again, but this time, Julie thought she’d heard a sniffle. Nice touch, Mom. “Oh and I know you’re not talking to your father because of what happened, but…nobody’s perfect, Honey. Just because we didn’t get married, (again, Julie thought) doesn’t mean I don’t still love your father. I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me with some of my trust issues with your father. I highly recommend you—well, nevermind. I sometimes forget what you do for a living, because to me you’re still my little girl. Anyway—”
Suddenly, the message stopped and the automated voice said, “End of new messages.”
Julie sighed and turned the screen off again. Her mom must’ve used up the entire time allotted again. She always babbled when she left messages. At least she’d sounded good this time. In the middle of the guilt-tripping and sniffling, Julie was sure she’d heard happiness in her mother’s voice. The last message had alerted Julie to another bipolar episode. She must’ve come back above water again, as some of Julie’s patients described it.
Julie promised herself she’d call in the morning. She hadn’t meant to go so long without calling her mom in the first place. It was her father she didn’t have anything to say to, not her mom. Life had just had a way of distracting her. Or maybe she’d wanted to be distracted.
C
hapter 4
After the phone call with her mom, Julie felt like crawling back to bed and calling into work sick. Her mother had attempted to use reverse psychology. ‘I know you’ll do the right thing’, meant- I know you’ll call your father and forgive him because he gave you life. ‘I’m proud of you for being so strong’, also meant- you’re strong enough to forgive your father and I’m proud of you for calling him because I know you will. Julie hadn’t gotten a word in during their thirty-minute conversation. Whenever her mother wasn’t guilt-tripping her, she was complaining about her own life—how lonely she was, how messed up the world had become, why didn’t people call and check on each other anymore? It was the internet’s fault of course.
When the phone call ended, the phone buzzed again, just as it was sliding into her bra strap. She moaned. Not again, Mom. She pulled the ball and chain back out and looked at the screen. It wasn’t her mom. It was a new message from Anne. With her thumb, she swiped up on the screen. I enjoyed it last night. Julie laughed out loud. It was the sort of message she’d expect to receive after a hot date, not after dinner with her best friend. She tapped the screen quickly with both thumbs until her message was eligible. Same.
Even after the pick-me-up from Anne, Julie strongly considered walking down to the coffee shop close by. She’d made it three days without caffeine. What would one day hurt? She tugged at the top of her pants and sucked in as the button slid into the hole. She was officially showing. Even if she had an excuse for gaining two and a half inches around her waist, the feeling of her pants squeezing around her mid-section had the same effect. Julie pulled a coat around her shoulders and bent over to zip up her boots. Standing again, blood rushed to her head. When the feeling that the room was about to flip upside down like something out of Wonderland ended, she opened her eyes.
Even dressed for a blizzard, her insides shivered. A hot cup of coffee and a warm blueberry muffin would thaw out her stomach. Up to thirty-five milligrams of caffeine wouldn’t hurt the baby. The doctor had said so. Still, she’d made it past the worst part- the first three days. Drinking caffeine now would be starting all over. Julie let her head fall back and sighed. Herbal tea four. Coffee zero. Summer couldn’t come soon enough.
The Offspring Page 3
