I bite my bottom lip, trying to decide whether to FaceTime, text, or just audio call him. Sucking in a breath, I hold it as I press the FaceTime button. The screen is black as it rings and then I hear that familiar sound of the other person answering.
He doesn’t look like he’s at the clubhouse, or at least not inside. He’s outside and it’s black all around him.
“Everything okay?” he barks.
I finally let out my breath in a long exhaled sigh. “I thought you were coming back today,” I quietly ask.
Frowning, I despise how meek I sound, how unsure of myself. I shouldn’t be, but Joel hasn’t been very open, and I’m wondering if this is the way it will always be between us.
He clears his throat. “We’re heading back tonight. Got caught up here longer than I anticipated. I’ll be in bed next to you before you leave in the morning for class. Then we’ll go get your branding done. I already got the shit on standby,” he informs me.
“Umm, okay,” I say, a nervous tremble in my voice.
I have no clue what to expect with the brand, and I feel sick to my stomach every time that I think about it. I’m not sure if that’s what I want, the thought of actually burning my flesh purposely, makes my stomach turn.
There’s a flash of what looks like a hand as it slides over Joel’s chest. He looks to the side and growls, but I can’t understand what he’s said. “Joel, what’s going on?” I ask.
His eyes turn back to me and he shakes his head. “Nothin’ cariña, I’ll be home soon, yeah?” I nod, still trying to figure out what exactly I just saw. “I want to hear it, mi vida,” he coos.
I debate not telling him, not until he explains what I just saw. However, I look into his black eyes, his liquid eyes and I become lost. “I love you, Joel.” I say the words, but I keep my gaze directed at him, and it sounds more like a plead instead of a statement.
“Be home soon,” he rasps.
The line goes black and I lay my head back on the pillow wondering what the hell just happened.
SILVER
Fuck.
There is no way in hell Presley didn’t see Red’s hand. “Fuck,” I growl. She’s standing naked leaning against the opposite wall as me. Her eyes are daring me to come after her. She’s not who I want. Not now, not ever.
Turning my head to Kade, I shout. “Your bitch just made a statement while I was FaceTiming my woman.”
Kade looks over to Red, then back to me. “Take care of it then. She’s yours until you leave. If she doesn’t make you happy, punish her,” he shrugs.
I watch as he begins to load some product up in the back of a truck. A truck that we’re escorting back to Arizona. This first run will be done this way. I don’t trust Kade and I trust Karma even less. I’m not about to blindly hand over cash for this transaction.
“When will the funds be delivered to my account?” Kade asks.
Looking over at him, I notice he’s got one of his girls on her knees, her head bobbing on his cock. Cristo the fucker has sex twenty-four hours a day I’m convinced.
Ripping my eyes from the scene, I attempt to focus on his face. “Half will be delivered once the truck is loaded. The other half, when it arrives safe and sound. This is the way we will always operate. A picture of a loaded truck gets you half, the actual truck in our warehouse gets you the other half,” I explain.
Red sidles up to my side, her hand wrapping around my cock over the top of my jeans. I grab ahold of her wrist, holding it tighter than I should while I wait for Kade to respond.
“That works. I look forward to many lucrative years together, Silver. The Beasts seem to have all their ducks in a row, even if they don’t keep the best company,” he chuckles, shifting his gaze to where I know Karma is standing.
I dip my chin, then look down at the girl on her knees. Her big round eyes stare up at me, almost pleadingly. I know she’s playing a game, just like she played me yesterday. She’s an addict. Not drugs, but sex and pain. She wants to be hurt, it’s why she begged me yesterday when I told her no. It’s why she made sure to do something she knew would piss me off while I was on the phone to Presley.
“You won’t get what you want,” I grin, continuing to look down at her.
She licks her lips, her eyes roaming over my face. “I won’t?” she breathes, her nipples hard and excited. She lives for this shit, no wonder she has attached herself to Kade.
“Kade, if I don’t want her, I can do with her as I please, let whoever I want fuck her?” I ask with a grin.
I hear her suck in a breath. Kade glances over, he’s tucking in his dick, presumably having already come down his girl’s throat. His eyes dip to Red, then back up to me. “Do what you like, until you walk out those doors that’s your whore,” he shrugs. “A little gift for doing business with me,” he chuckles.
Turning my head, I stretch my neck out to see who is eyeing this situation with interest. I won’t give her to a Skull, they aren’t part of our crew yet. I will give her to one of my own brothers though. Lifting my chin to Taz, I call out to him.
“You want a piece?” I ask.
He looks down at the girl, then back up to me. “Fuck yeah,” he chuckles.
I knew he would. Taz likes the doe-eyed girls that take what he gives them. He wants to feel like he’s fucking violating them. Red may not be a virgin, or an innocent, but she looks and acts the part and that’s all he needs from her.
Pushing her hand off of me, I turn and make my way over to the truck. I watch the product being loaded, overseeing every aspect to ensure that it’s exactly what I need it to be. If Kade fucks up, it’s my head that’ll be chopped off next.
Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair. Mountain appears at my side, clearing his throat. “We still don’t know if the Skulls were involved in any of that shit with A, do we?” he asks, keeping his voice low.
I shake my head. “I feel really fucking uneasy too,” I say. “I can’t shake it. I don’t have any evidence one way or the other.”
Mountain grunts. “Don’t want to add that affiliates patch until I know for sure. Until we can trust them. Maybe we can just have them do those runs, and nothing else for a while. If it isn’t connected, the timing is fucked. They have to understand that, and if they don’t, they can fucking walk.”
Glancing back at the Sinister Skulls members, I watch them. My gaze shifts from one man to another before it lands on Karma. He’s not paying much attention to me, he’s looking over at his brother. Kade watches him back for only a moment before he turns around and walks off. Karma shifts his gaze to his boots.
“I can’t put my finger on it. They seem like they don’t have any love toward one another, but they are brothers,” I murmur.
Mountain chuckles, and I turn my head to face him. “I wouldn’t piss on my blood brother if he were on fire. He can fuck right the fuck off. I don’t know if that’s the case over there, but I’m just letting you know, not all family is worth giving a fuck about.”
I look back at Karma again, he’s talking to a Skulls member, and his brother is somewhere else. I know that Mountain is right, it’s just all way too fucking coincidental. That bad feeling in the pit of my stomach returns. Maybe we shouldn’t have anything to do with them. Maybe we can just cut ties here and now. Unfortunately, I can’t make that decision. All I can do is put in my vote.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
PRESLEY
He doesn’t know I’m awake. I watch him walk into the bedroom, shift his cut off, then hang it on the door as he closes and locks it behind him. He starts to undress and damn my body because it reacts instantly. My nipples harden and my pussy clenches, just at the damn sight of him.
I watch him walk into the bathroom. The shower turns on for about five minutes then it’s off and I hear him rustling around. I continue to slowly inhale and exhale, attempting to keep myself calm. What I don’t need is to panic. It’s just a feeling, just a flash of skin that I saw, it doesn’t mean anything.
The bathroom light switches off and he makes his way over to his side of the bed. I watch as he drops his keys and cell phone on the nightstand before he slowly sinks down onto the mattress, completely naked.
“You going to watch me all night, or are you going to say whatever it is that’s on your mind?” he asks, his voice deep and rumbly as it bounces off of the walls in the quiet bedroom.
I suck in a breath, rolling over to my side to face him. He’s leaning against the headboard, his eyes focusing on the ceiling, his hard sculpted chest on display. My eyes move to his Silverback Gorilla ink and they travel the expanse of the wild creature. Fitting, for my wild creature.
“How many women have you been with since we got together a few weeks ago?” I bluntly ask.
He turns his head to me, his black eyes blazing with a fiery heat I’ve never seen before. “You don’t want to ask me that,” he warns.
Placing my hands next to my waist, I push my body up to sitting. “It doesn’t matter if I want to, I have to,” I say softly.
“Why?” he demands.
My eyes water, I already know the answer. He’s taken way too long, he’s been far too defensive and evasive. “Because if you’re going to put a permanent marking on my skin. If I’m going to live in your home and care for your child. If I’m going to fall in love with you more and more each day, I think I have a right to know what kind of man I’m allowing into my body, into my heart,” I whisper as tears fall down my cheeks.
“You wouldn’t understand, so it’s better you not ask,” he murmurs.
I start to push off of the bed, but he’s too fast. He wraps his hands around my waist and drags my body over his, forcing me to spread my legs and straddle his thighs. I place my palms on his chest and try to push away from him. One of his hands wraps around my wrist, the other moves down to my hip and he squeezes.
“Stop,” he growls.
My entire body freezes at his lethal tone and I look down at him, unable to hold my tears in. “It hurts, Joel,” I whisper.
“What hurts?” he asks, loosening his grip on my wrist slightly.
I shake my head, my hair flying all around me and I inhale a deep breath, my eyes looking straight into his. “You aren’t answering me, which means you’ve been with women, and that hurts. I’ve fallen in love with you, and you’re sharing your body with others. It breaks my heart, my soul,” I cry.
“If I told you, you’d think of me as a bigger monster than you already do, cariña,” he rasps, wrapping his hands around my back and pushing my chest down against his.
I bury my face in his neck, unable to keep from inhaling his scent and letting my eyes close when it hits my nostrils. I want to push off of him, to slap him and tell him to go and fuck himself. I want to grab my shit and leave. I want to do so many things. All of which I do not do.
Suddenly, I find myself on my back, Joel’s hips between my thighs. I wore a short cotton nightgown to bed, and the only barrier between his hard cock and my bare pussy is the scrap of fabric of my panties. He presses his lips to mine, his tongue tasting the seam. I try not to open my mouth, knowing that he’s silently begging for entrance.
I try and I fail.
When his hand wraps around my breast and squeezes my flesh, my mouth opens with a gasp. His tongue fills me, fucking me with languid strokes. Try as I might, I can’t even pretend to be unaffected by the first stroke of his tongue. I lift my hips, moaning when the head of his dick touches my clit, rubbing my panties over the sensitive spot.
His fingers slip between us, he wrenches the center of my panties to the side before he fills me in one swift thrust of his hips. Ripping my mouth from his, I throw my head back and let out a low moan.
“Fuck,” he curses. One of his hands wraps around the back of my knee and he pushes my thigh back before spreading it wide. His other hand rests next to my head to hold his weight above me. His eyes look into mine and he shakes his head once. “You’re mine. This is where I belong. The rest of that shit you’re going to have to let go,” he grunts, shifting his hips so that he grinds down against my clit.
Shaking my head, I lift my hands, wrapping one around his bicep and the other around the side of his neck. “I can’t share your body. I can’t share this,” I breathe. It’s honest, and truthful, probably the most honest moment of my entire life. “My heart will be destroyed if you make me, Joel.”
His arm shakes next to me, his body shudders and his hips roll again. Tears fall down the side of my face as I lift my lips to touch his. “Don’t break me. I’m in love with you, don’t break me,” I beg. My body jerks in a sob as he pulls out then slams back inside of me. He keeps his lips on mine the entire time.
Joel doesn’t speak. He doesn’t make me any promises or offer me any reassurances. His hips roll, he thrusts into me over and over until I’m brought to the edge. Then he fills my mouth with his tongue again, he fucks me with his tongue and dick in tandem. There’s something about the way he does it, it feels filthy, it feels delicious, and without so much as a warning, I explode around him.
Ripping my lips from his mouth, I let out a long groan as my pussy clamps down around his cock. “Christo, te necesito, mi vida,” he rasps as his hips still, his cock buried inside of me and he comes. My breath hitches as the sensation of his cum fills me, twitch after twitch.
Joel shifts his hand from my hip to around the back of my head and he buries his own face in my neck. “Lo siento, cariña. I’m sorry,” he whispers in a chant, repeating the words and alternating between Spanish and English.
His body is shuddering, his cock buried inside of me, and his face at my neck. I don’t ask him why he’s sorry. I don’t ask him if he’s ever really apologized for anything before because I highly doubt that he has. I don’t say anything. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and I hold his bare chest to my nightgown covered one.
Can I forgive him of this? I don’t know what he’s done, and I’m positive he’ll do it again, whatever it is. That is what I have to decide if I can live with or not. I thought I could, I thought that I could forgive him of anything he could do to me. Right now? When it comes to him being with other women, I’m not sure that I can.
“You have to tell me, Joel,” I softly demand.
He lifts his head from my neck, his eyes searching mine. “The moment I saw you, I knew you were special. I knew you were too good for me. I knew it and I didn’t care. I was going to take you, I didn’t care if it was just for the night,” he says, his voice soft, too soft, and way too gentle and calm. “One taste I knew I had to keep you,” he says. “So, no. I won’t tell you. What I will vow is that if I can help it, none of it will happen again.”
“If you can help it?” I ask.
He nods, rolling us over so that he’s on his back and I’m straddling him again. Unfortunately, during the shift, I lose him from inside of me. His hands lift and cup my cheeks, one of his thumbs caressing my bottom lip.
“If I could explain more about the life, about my life, then I would. If I thought that it would make you understand, I sure as fuck would. You aren’t part of this though, and you never would understand. However, as my woman, you need to trust me. You need to know that I wouldn’t purposely hurt you. I’m not that kind of man. I meant it when I told you that I wanted an Old Lady, a mother to Buster, and to give you more kids. None of that changes.”
I bite the bottom of my lip, which he immediately tugs out from between my teeth with his thumb. “I don’t even know what to say about that,” I breathe.
His black eyes bore into mine, they hold me completely hostage before he delivers yet another blow. “Nothin’ to say. It’s your place to stand at my side. Not to ask questions about what I do or don’t do.”
I shake my head. “That’s not fair.”
He nods, “I know, cariña. You’re strong, mi vida. I wouldn’t have chosen you if I didn’t think you were.”
SILVER
I feel like shit. The least I could do was apologize, and I
did even if she didn’t understand me, but I still feel like dog fucking shit. I hold Presley’s sleeping body next to mine, afraid that if I release her, that she’ll run from me. She should. She should fucking sprint as hard and as fast as she can go. I still wouldn’t release her though. Not ever.
I smooth her soft brown hair over her shoulder so that I can look at the side of her neck. A place that will have my brand soon. I feel bad for the pain that it will cause her, but it’s going to be so fucking beautiful at the same time. Lifting my index finger, I trace an S and G, on her neck.
“Joel,” she sighs, then turns around in my arms.
Pulling her a little closer I run my nose alongside her own. “I fucked up, but it wasn’t because I wanted to. If you understood the business, you wouldn’t be mad or hurt or whateverthefuck,” I try to explain.
I watch pain slash across her features. She doesn’t cry, but she looks like she’s about to. She lifts her hand between us, running her fingers through the side of my beard and places her hand on my chest.
“I love you,” she rasps. “I’ll probably forgive just about anything you do. Haven’t I proven that already?”
My eyes soften, and I look into her blue gaze, wishing I could take all of her pain and hurt away. All of it I caused. “Yeah, mi vida. You’re going to make a beautiful Old Lady.”
She nods. Her fingers traveling through my beard again, before they dance up my cheek and dive into my hair. She pulls me toward her, as she presses herself closer at the same time. If we could become one body, this is where it would happen.
Her fingers tighten in my hair and something comes over her. Fight. Her eyes narrow and her face contorts, but it isn’t unattractive, in fact, it’s hot as fuck. I can feel my cock pressing against her belly as it hardens, if she notices she doesn’t say anything or react.
“I’m not going to ask you what you did. All I’m going to say is that if it happens again. I’m gone. I know this is your world. I understand that in your world what I say doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot,” she growls. Her face gets closer, her eyes rage and so does my goddamn dick. “When you walk through whatever house we live in, when you walk through those doors, all that shit changes. We are a partnership here. You are not in control of everything and you do not get to fuck other women. I won’t stand for it, and I won’t be around if you continue to do that. If you want to be a bachelor, fucking be one.”
UnScrew Me (Savage Beast MC Book 1) Page 24
