I need time with him first to understand his lies.
Handing off the peonies to Bella, I rake a hand through my hair. “What hospital, Mother?”
She manages to get out the name of a hospital in San Francisco.
I stumble through a civil goodbye to her after I repeat the hospital’s name back to be sure I got it right.
“You need to go,” Bella says before I can get out a word out after I pocket my phone. “I’ll explain to everyone here about your dad. I can call Ivan too and let him know that you can’t go to Chicago.”
I cup my hands over her cheeks. Feathering kisses over her delicate forehead, I close my eyes. “I’m sorry, Bella. I am so sorry.”
Pulling back, she looks into my eyes. “Don’t be sorry. I understand.”
Pressing a kiss to her mouth, I breathe in deeply. “Please try and forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive you for.” She glances down at the flowers in her hand. “Go see your dad.”
With a final kiss to her lips, I walk away from the woman I love.
Chapter 53
Bella
I look down at my hand. The blue nail polish that was on my thumbnail is long gone thanks to my anxiety. A sinking feeling has taken root in my stomach. It’s been there since Sunday when Barrett left me standing on the sidewalk outside of Calvetti’s.
I’ve only heard from him twice since then.
The first time was on Monday morning when he texted me to say he was sorry again.
I sent him a message back telling him not to worry. My family understood why he had to rush off. Marti was most concerned. When she held the bouquet of peonies Barrett had brought to her nose, she asked if he needed anything.
She would have chased him down the street with a bag filled with food if I had let her.
When I asked how his dad was in my responding text, his answer was short and to the point – fine.
The second time he sent me a message was late on Wednesday night.
I had fallen asleep an hour before with the television blaring. I didn’t hear the chime. I woke up at six a.m and read the message, but didn’t reply right away because it was so early in California.
That message was all business.
He asked me if I could please reach out to Ivan again since they hadn’t connected. He wanted to speak to him. I got in touch with Ivan once I was at the office. He agreed to call Barrett, so I texted my boss back to let him know.
That was over twenty-four hours ago, and I haven’t heard a word since.
Taking a sip from the cup of coffee in my hand, I drop my eyes to the crossword puzzle in front of me.
The clue I’m stuck on is a four-letter word for when it’s finished.
The chime of the elevator arriving draws my gaze up. When the doors fly open, I bolt up in my chair and slide the crossword under the folder on my desk.
Marching toward me with a grim look on his face is Ivan Garent.
“Isabella,” he says my name somberly. “Come into Duke’s office. We need to talk.”
It’s Barrett’s office I want to say, but something tells me that everything is about to change.
***
“How’s Duke?” That’s my first question because it’s one I know he needs to hear.
“It’s a long process.” He motions toward the door. “Please shut the door so we can have some privacy.”
I do as he asks, skimming my hands over the skirt of my dark green dress. I’m a bundle of nerves. Something incredibly important must be going on if it took him away from his family.
When I turn back to face him, Ivan has settled in Barrett’s office chair. He looks out of place. Nothing feels right anymore.
“Sit, please.”
I lower myself onto of the two chairs that face the desk. Clearing my throat, I wait for him to say something.
With perked brows, he stares at me. “Is there something you’d like to say?”
For a brief moment, I wonder if he’s here because he knows about Barrett and me. Did someone tell him that we’re more than just boss and executive assistant? Maybe one of our co-workers saw us together on the subway or at Crispy Biscuit.
“No.” I keep my answer simple. I won’t confess to something I’m not sure he’s aware of.
Clasping his hands together in front of him on the desk, he leans forward. “Barrett resigned this morning. He won’t be coming back to Garent.”
Time slows as I take in those words.
“His father is gravely ill,” he goes on. “I offered him a leave of absence, but he assured me that wasn’t what he wanted. He arranged for the removal of his personal items from the penthouse this morning.”
Slow down. I try to spit those words out, but they catch in my throat.
“I assume he’s moving to California to take over Adler Estates.” He sighs. “We’ve lost one of the best, but if I understand one thing it’s a strong commitment to family. Barrett is doing what he needs to for his father.”
“I didn’t think he was close to his dad,” I whisper.
“He never spoke of him until he now.” Ivan narrows his gaze. “Something like this puts everything into perspective. Illness, death, even addiction can rearrange a man’s priorities.”
What about love?
I thought Barrett loved me. I thought we had a future together here at Garent and in life.
Ivan pushes back from the desk to stand. “I’m sending Nellie Garlin from Chicago here as interim CEO. She’ll arrive early next week. Bring her up to speed on everything, Isabella. I trust you’ll handle the change in leadership as gracefully this time as you did when Barrett took over for Duke.”
Still stunned, I rise to my feet. “I’ll do my best, sir.”
“Gather Barrett’s things up.” He opens one of the desk drawers before he slams it shut. “I’ll contact him again to find out where to have it all sent.”
I nod as he brushes past me. “Let’s keep Garent moving forward, Isabella. That’s what Duke would have wanted.”
I follow him out of the office, plopping myself in my chair as he boards the waiting elevator.
Yanking my crossword puzzle out from its hiding spot, I read the clue I’ve been stuck on again.
A four-letter word for when it’s finished.
I fill in the blanks. OVER
Just like Barrett and me.
Chapter 54
Bella
“You texted him how many times since you got here?” Max tries to steal a glimpse of the screen of my cell phone, but I press it against the center of my chest.
“Two text messages and one call that went straight to his voicemail,” I answer without hesitation. “I haven’t gotten a response yet.”
When his eyes meet mine, I see pity. I don’t want that from him. I want my best friend to tell me to forget about my boss and move on. I need Max to tell me that any man who ghosts a woman and slides out of her life without a word deserves to be placed in the run and done category.
You run away from him as fast as you can, and you stay done with him for eternity.
That’s how I need to view Barrett. It’s how I should view our short-lived relationship, but I can’t.
I want an explanation. I deserve to know what happened.
“How many times did you text and call him before you got here?” he presses.
“Zero,” I answer truthfully.
After Ivan left the office late this afternoon, I was in shock. I couldn’t reach out to Barrett because I knew if I did, it would be coming from a place of raw emotion. I needed a few hours to collect my thoughts before I got in contact with him.
The text messages I sent him and the voicemail all contained the same four words: We need to talk.
“Are you going to text him again?” Max asks hesitantly.
“No.” I toss my phone onto the couch next to me. “At least not tonight.”
Max moves closer to me. Setting a hand on my jean-covered knee, he looks into my
eyes. “You don’t have to be strong, Bella. It’s okay to cry.”
I don’t want to cry.
If I start, I’m not sure I’ll stop.
“I want to keep my emotions in check, so when I do speak to Barrett, I can give him an earful.”
Max leans back and clucks his tongue. “Oh, man. Hot Boss is in the direct line of the Calvetti wrath.”
I try to suppress a laugh, but a giggle bubbles out of me.
“You’ve got this, Bella.” He taps my knee. “You’ve lived through a lot worse.”
He’s not talking about my break-up with Emil. He’s talking about the accident when I was a kid.
We were friends back then. Max remembers his mom crying when my mom called her with the news that I was in the hospital.
“I lived through the dinner you just cooked me,” I joke. “So far. We’ll see what the next few hours bring.”
“That chicken did smell off, didn’t it?” He plays along with me.
He knows full well that the dinner he prepared was delicious. I went straight home after work to shower the day away. I stood in the water until it ran cold. As I was toweling off, Max called to ask me to come to his place to help organize more of his family pictures. The lure was a dinner of maple glazed chicken and roasted sweet potatoes.
It was the first dish he ever cooked me when he moved into this apartment. I brought cheap wine that night. We got drunk and sang the songs we learned in grade school.
It was one of the best nights of my life.
“Why did I fall in love with him?” I ask in a voice too weary to be my own.
Once I’m home tonight in my bed, I’ll let emotion overcome me. I’ll cry myself to sleep wondering what could have been.
“Because he’s your person,” Max says matter-of-factly.
Confused, I glance at him. “If he were my person, he wouldn’t have left me.”
“Who says he left you?”
I take in his words, trying to make sense of them. “Ivan did. Barrett did without actually saying it to my face.”
Max shakes his head. “Ivan said he quit his job and cleared out the penthouse.”
I nod. “Exactly.”
“That means nothing for you other than the fact that you have another new boss to get used to.”
“It means he left Garent without telling me,” I point out, slightly annoyed that Max is taking Barrett’s side in this even though we have no clue what that is.
“You don’t know why he did that.” He leans back on his couch. “It may have everything to do with his dad or nothing to do with him.”
Tired of arguing the point, I bring up the man himself. “Barrett didn’t give me a warning, Max. He quit and moved without a word to me.”
“He did make some major moves without your input,” he acquiesces. “I think you need to consider the fact that he’s in love with you too and knows that you can’t take things to the next level if you’re both working at Garent.”
I huff out a laugh. “If he sacrificed the job he’s wanted for years for me, you would think he’d tell me that.”
“Love messes with a man’s brain.” He twirls a finger in front of his forehead. “Look at me.”
I do. I stare at my best friend. “Are you in love?”
“Head over half-inch heels I am.” He takes my hands in his. “Dr. Dan gets me, Bella. He gets all of this and loves it.”
“I need to meet him.” I smile. “Soon, Max.”
Gathering me in his strong arms, he kisses the top of my head. “As soon as you work out your forever with your prince charming, I’ll take you to meet mine.”
I won’t crush the fairytale ending he thinks I have coming my way. Right now, I’m holding onto the faintest sliver of hope that Barrett will burst back into my life with an explanation for everything that’s happened since the last time I saw him.
Chapter 55
Barrett
Life can change in the blink of an eye.
That’s what happened in this neighborhood nineteen years ago.
I look down at my phone to reread the messages that Bella sent me while I was in the air flying back here to start a new life.
With a trembling hand, I type out the most important text message I’ve ever sent.
Barrett: Please meet me at the corner of Amsterdam and 78th.
It’s cruel to send Bella a message so early in the morning, but I’ve been anxious to talk to her since I got back to New York late last night.
It’s Saturday.
The sun rose less than an hour ago.
I noticed it filling the bedroom of my new apartment. I wasn’t woken by it. I had been up all night working on my future. It’s a future that I want to spend with Isabella Calvetti, if she’ll have me.
Once the clock hit seven, I headed to the stairs that took me three floors down to the ground level of my building.
From there, I set out on the pavement to the coffee shop at the corner of my block.
It may have been my first time walking through the door, but the people behind the counter made me feel welcome. They wanted to know my name and what I did for a living.
That’s a work-in-progress, but I know I’ll be fine.
As long as Bella loves me, I can face anything in this world.
When I finished the coffee, I made my way to the subway. I took it to the same stop that Bella had brought me.
The buzz of my phone in my hand twists my stomach upside down. I pray to God she’ll come.
Bella: Right now?
Without hesitating, I reply.
Barrett: As soon as you can.
I glance around at this area of the city on a lazy Saturday morning. Some people are already up, jogging past me headed toward Central Park. Others are out looking for their first jolt of caffeine.
My eyes drop when I hear the sound of the chime and feel the buzz in my palm.
Bella: Are you okay?
My love is always worrying about everyone else. I’ve been through hell this week, but it’s nothing compared to what she’s lived through.
I answer truthfully.
Barrett: I’ll be better when I see you.
Her response is instant.
Bella: I’m on my way.
I am too. I’m on my way to forgiveness and a path where I can cherish the woman that was meant for me if she’ll have me.
Sliding my phone into the back pocket of my jeans, I take off on foot to make my way to the spot where my life changed forever.
***
I see her before she sees me. I take in how gorgeous she looks.
She’s dressed in faded jeans, an oversized white sweater, and black low-heeled boots. Her hair is loose and in waves. She looks freshly woken.
She rushed here.
She stops at the corner and twirls in a circle. I raise a hand hoping she’ll spot me, but her gaze darts past me.
I stand from where I’ve been resting my ass on a swing.
I’m in the playground of a public school. It’s the same playground where I first met Isabella Calvetti.
She stormed into my life that day as a wide-eyed, smart-as-a-whip five-year-old kid wearing a baseball cap backward on her head.
She didn’t care that I was older than her. She put me in my place. She urged me to do the right thing, and when she ran across the busy street right into the path of oncoming traffic, I tried my best to do right by her.
On her second spin, she notices me.
I hold up my hand to wave her over.
She points at the green light, silently telling me that she has to wait until the path is clear.
I’ll wait as long as it takes if it means she’s safe.
Chapter 56
Bella
I came because I want answers.
I was awake when he sent me a text message. I’d been up most of the night rehearsing what I wanted to say to him, but now that I’m looking at him, I only want to know why he’s made such drastic changes in his life.
They’ve been spruced up since I was a child. The chains have been replaced and covered with plastic tubing so small fingers won’t get pinched. The seats aren’t wooden like they were back when I came here after school. Now, they’re made from a pliable plastic, so they bend more easily to whoever is sitting on them.
I breeze past Barrett and take a seat on one, wrapping my fingers around the clear plastic tubing. “How are you?”
He answers quickly. “Sorry. I’m sorry, Isabella.”
“For?” I leave the question open-ended for a reason. I want to hear him tell me what he’s sorry for. I don’t want to feed him anything.
“Everything,” he spits out.
I finally gaze up into his face. His jaw is covered with a few days’ growth of beard. His hair is uncombed. The black T-shirt he’s wearing is wrinkled.
He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
“I asked you to come here for a reason.” He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “I chose this spot because I needed to see you here.”
My eyes dart from his face to the street that I just crossed. “Why here?”
He crouches in front of me. His feet are inside shoes that are too expensive for the matted brown grass they’re touching. “We met here, Bella. We met right in this spot nineteen years ago.”
I shake my head. Maybe he’s delusional from lack of sleep or grief over his dad’s condition. “We met at Atlas 22.”
His hands move quickly in front of him. You played with my sister that day. You played with Bizzy.
It takes me a second to realize that Barrett knows sign language.
Confusion rushes through me. Shaking my head, I get up off the swing and walk around him, headed out of the playground.
He can’t be that boy. He can’t be Bizzy’s brother.
I don’t really remember him. All I know is what my grandmother told me about him and small flashes of memories that only come to me when I’m asleep.
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