Famished (The Broken Series)

by Ellie Messe

  “I’m staying with Hales tonight.” I tell Emma, who’s still panting in bed. “I probably won’t be home ‘til Thursday.”

  “Okay.” Her voice is quiet, unease blooms in my stomach as I look up to meet her eyes for the first time, the look on her face doesn’t help the guilt.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  She shakes her head, “No, but you’re still upset.”

  “Yeah, well, my brother’s a world class prick.”

  “Is that who you got in a fight with?”

  “He basically told her to fuck off after someone beat the hell out of her.”

  Emma’s brow furrows, but remains silent.

  “Shit with Haley is long and complicated, she has this stupid habit of pushing people away because she’s scared and says stupid shit to accomplish it,” I shake my head, looking at the folded clothes in my hand, “But she loves him.”

  “I thought he loved her too?”

  “He does, I know he does, but just because she hurt him first doesn’t give him the right to hurt her back. She’s been abandoned over and over again her whole life and then the one motherfucker she put her faith in went and did the exact same thing.” My anger is resurfacing making my shoulders and neck tense, but the fear in my chest is a much stronger feeling; I’m terrified she’s going to leave again. “I’m not going to abandon her, I’ll see you Thursday.”

  Exiting my bedroom, I make a quick escape back to Haley’s apartment. The urge to make a pit stop back over to Parker’s for round two is strong, though I’m able to swallow it when I realize I’ve been gone for close to three hours and need to make sure she’s still here. It was stupid to leave her alone.

  Letting myself in, I’m relieved to see her duffle still on the dining room table. Kicking my shoes off, I leave her house key on the counter and walk to the back of her apartment where I find her curled up in the same spot I left her. The towel under her hoodie is loose, the flap maybe an inch away from her crotch. Sure, Hales is hot but there isn’t a speck of want in my body to see her meat sleeve. I shudder at the thought, that’s like seeing your mom or sister naked- scarring and nasty as fuck.

  Opening her dresser I find her HEAT shorts and sit next to her on the bed, gently shaking her arm, “Hales?” Her eyes flutter a second then focus, “Here, put these on sweetheart. Your snatch is hanging out.”

  “Is not, asshole.” She mutters, accepting them as she sits up.

  I stroll into the bathroom and wait for her to change. Catching my reflection in the mirror I note how swollen my lip is and the growing shadow across my jaw. Fan-fucking-tastic. Josh is going to have a holy shit fit when he sees this and an even bigger one when he finds out it was Parker.

  “You decent?” I ask when I hear the bed groan with weight.

  “Yeah, now come here and cuddle me, I’ve missed you.”

  My lips tugs up as I come out of the bathroom. Jumping on the bed like an asshole, I get the tiniest of smiles out of her as I lay on my back beside her. Grabbing my hand, she pulls my arm tight to her chest like she’s holding a teddy bear, “Thank you.”

  Turning to look at her, she’s got her eyes closed but a single tear escapes her eye, rolling against her cheekbone before disappearing into her dark curls. “Don’t thank me. You’re my best friend, I love you.”

  She gives me a weak smile as another tear rolls down her face.

  “Get some sleep, sunshine.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  EMMA

  Drew steps out of the room without a backward glance making me feel like a worthless one night stand for the first time in my life. I like sex, it’s not a secret, I prefer the one and done routine, but I’ve never felt dirty or used before.

  I sit perfectly still on his bed long after I hear the front door shut. A steady pelting sound pulls me from my stupor when I realize I’m crying.

  Taking my palm, I swipe them away. “Dumb.”

  Crawling off his bed, I collect my clothes and return to my bedroom. I don’t bother redressing, dumping the clothing to the floor, I crawl into my bed, cursing my stupid eyes for shedding tears that aren’t worth it.

  Our agreement is strictly physical; we fuck, we move on. Plain and simple. No feelings, no obligations. So why am I so broken over the fact his usual warmth towards me wasn’t there? What do I care if he leaves immediately after? But that’s the problem, isn’t it? I broke the cardinal rule; no feelings.

  After a good, long cry, the hurt feelings morphed into residual anger. I’m a woman; we’re masters at that whole mood swing thing.

  I woke up to a text from Drew, but fuck that. I have no interest in what he has to say to me, after last night our little arrangement is off.

  My lips hurt, my crotch hurts, my butt cheek is sensitive, but what bothers me the most are bruises on the outside of my hips when he decided he wanted to put his fingers through me rather than on me, by the looks of it, he damn near succeeded.

  After a quick shower, I dress in basic blue jeans and a Tennessee Three T-shirt before grabbing my vest off the dresser.

  I know he said he wasn’t going to be home until tomorrow, but I don’t want to take any chances. Grabbing my keys, I climb into my dad’s truck and drive over to the Clubhouse.

  I wave at a group of guys huddled around someone’s bike, you’d think I’d know their names by now. If they don’t talk to me, I don’t speak to them; I think I’m taking antisocial to a new level, I more or less lived with the same group of people for nine months and have no idea what to call them.

  Pulling the door open, I spot Moose sitting at the card table with a beer in his hand per usual, talking with my dad. “For fuck’s sake, it’s not even eleven yet.”

  “Emma.” My dad’s face brightens with a smile, as I walk over to pour coffee into two styrofoam cups. “I wasn’t expecting you until tonight, what a nice surprise.”

  Setting one cup on the felt table, I remove Moose’s beer and replace it with the other.

  “Dammit, kid!” He reaches for his beer, but I turn my back to him and hand it to some chick I’ve never met.

  “It’s not even noon.” I glare at him while taking my seat in the chair across from him.

  He grabs the deck center table while offering me a glare of his own.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” I chastise him, while my father chuckles into his cup. “That better just be coffee.”

  “It is.” He smiles, I only half believe him.

  “So what’s on the agenda today?”

  “Some of the wives are setting up a tree in a bit; you should join them.” Moose and I both harumph at the same time. “Oh, come on. It wouldn’t hurt to make some friends, Emma.”

  “I have friends,” I mumble, throwing my chips center table.

  “Moose doesn’t count.”

  “Hey!” He growls.

  “I have friends.”

  “I dare you to name three.”

  Damn, “Moose, you, Drew, Lynch, and Parker. There’s four.”

  Okay, so Parker and I aren’t friends, Drew and I aren’t really anything above acquaintances who’ve banged, Lynch and I are more allies than anything else, and my dad is my dad but whatever.

  “Since when are you and Lynch friends? And who’s Parker?” He laughs earning another glare.

  “We’ve always been friends; we’re just the type of friends that like to scream at each other and Parker is Drew’s brother.”

  “I’ve never heard you mention a brother.” His tone loses humor as he inspects me.

  “It’s only been like a month, not like we’ve got matching bestie bracelets or anything. I’ll tell you about him though; he’s kinda quiet, buff, and hot as fuck.”

  He groans, “I don’t want to hear that. How about some friends who I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant by? Like Vacuum?”

  “If that’s not her legal name I’m about to be very disappointed.”

  “It’s not her legal, no.”

  “Then I’ve lo
st interest.”

  Moose chuckles, peering at his cards. “Call.”

  Laying our cards out, Moose curses. Swooping the pile towards me, I feel my father’s stare, “What?”

  “How many friends did you have in California?”

  “None, unless you count T-Bo.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “The guy who held a gun to mom’s head while y'all sat around holding your dick’s in your hands.”

  Moose pauses, looking from me to my father. Yeah, I haven’t forgotten that little tidbit.

  No one speaks, the world around us keeps moving, but the three of us stop existing while we stare at each other. Eventually, I laugh without humor, letting my eyes fall. Not even an apology for almost letting my mom get shot right before my eyes; cool.

  “This was fun,” I say getting up.

  “No, no, none of that,” Moose says raising his hand like he’s fucking Gandalf and I shall not pass. “Sit down; it’s Christmas Eve.”

  “And guess who’s not here for the first time in my life.” Pushing the stool back with my legs, I feel the ache of Drew’s bruise.

  This was a mistake. That asshole put me in a bad mood; I should have known I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with my dad today.

  Without another word, I exit and climb back into the truck, I watch the door, waiting for my dad to come out and apologize. Have him be the one to tell me to stay rather than Moose, but he never came, so I left.

  I’m fairly certain I’m the reason for my misery. I know roads go both ways and if I’m not willing to try, I shouldn’t expect others to do so either. Except I do; I expect Drew to be nice to me and I expect my father to make an effort, and not that weird controlling, let-me-tell-you-what’s-right-for-you thing he does, I mean a solid, good ole college-try kind of effort. You know? Fuck that, I don’t even need the effort. What I want is an apology. I want him to justify why he was prepared to let someone shoot my mother in the face, right in front of me and acknowledge the fact he was wrong in that and to apologize. That’s what I want.

  I'm hoping there’s a light at the end of this tunnel because right now, I’m suffocating in the dark.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Drew

  I woke up entirely too fucking early. My jaw is stiff, my mood is still shit, and above all Emma hasn’t responded to a single message. I feel like an asshole; I was beyond pissed and I’m not fond of the way I left last night, judging by her silence I’m assuming she isn’t either. Then Haley had to go ahead and ask if we were dating; then I said I didn’t know. What the fuck was that about? Talk about word vomit. Are you dating Emma? No. See? Easy. So why the hell did I answer ‘I didn’t know’?!

  “You’re brooding.” Hales says next to me as we head to Josh’s.

  We stopped by the mall and got some dumb ass sweaters for my family’s ugly sweater party tonight and I’m feeling a little better at least. Probably because this girl found the holy grail with this skirt she’s got on; it’s covered in dicks wearing Santa hats. Reason number four hundred and eighty-seven why she’s my favorite person.

  “I am not.” I sigh.

  “Yes, you are, is it because of Parker?”

  “I guess,” Again with the lying? Sure, the shit with Parker has me pissed but the fact Emma’s not responding is more bothersome, and for whatever reason I can’t tell my best friend I’m not dating her? I can’t admit that her silence is what I view as my biggest problem right now?

  “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”

  “No,” I groan, “Don’t do that. Look, it’s not just Parker, Emma’s not texting me back, Josh is gonna have a shit fit, and I’d rather just be hanging out with you today.”

  “Just to prove a point here,” She starts, twirling whatever is around her wrist in a circle, “None of that was an issue before I came back.”

  “Don’t you dare.” I point at her, “Don’t. You are not to blame for any of this. You weren’t the one who went over to Parker’s house last night and you didn’t go angry fuck Emma then leave the second you got off.”

  She scrunches up her face, “Oh fuck.”

  “Yeah, oh fuck.”

  “I wouldn’t text you back either.”

  I chuckle without meaning to, “Thanks.”

  “You should probably prepare for the fight you’re about to lose.”

  “I don’t lose fights.”

  “You will if you want into her pants anytime soon.”

  “Shut up, I can get in her pants whenever I want.”

  She laughs and looks at me, rising an unimpressed brow, “Okay. Win the argument and let’s see who’s right.”

  I put on a confident face but now I’m worried she might be right. I’m not saying Emma’s feelings are less important than getting between her thighs, but I happen to be just as fond of getting laid as I am not admitting I was wrong.

  I think Haley knew she was right because she wore a cocky little smile until we pulled onto Josh’s street, her smile disappeared as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Reaching over I take her hand, she gives me a squeeze, holding on for dear life as we pull up to the gate.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart.”

  Pulling up out front, I park the truck next to Vin’s car to try and keep her as concealed as possible in case anyone’s outside.

  Hopping out, I check one last time that the coast is clear before taking her sweaty hand and dragging her inside.

  I made fun of Haley for playing 007 yesterday and here I am doing the exact same thing. Only, I look damn good in a suit and totally rock this James Bond shit. Stuffing Haley unceremoniously in the laundry room, I continue down the hall.

  "Mama Mia!" I yell, seeing her over the kitchen island.

  "Merry Christmas, my boy." She smiles, moving around to kiss my cheek, that’s when she notices the bruise shadowing my jaw, “What happened?”

  "Don't worry about it.” Judging by her glare, I think she might kill me, “Hey can I ask a huge favor? I've got a pretty big surprise and I need everyone in the living room."

  "I think everyone's already in there." She says, still staring at my face.

  "Vinny and Jules here already?"

  "Yep. They brought Dillon, what's the surprise?"

  I scoff playfully, trying to deflect her mood, "Like I'm going to tell you. I know you're cooking, do you have a couple minutes? It'll be fast."

  "Sure." She sighs, moving towards the living room.

  Quickly slipping into the hallway, I pop my head through the door, "It's showtime." I tell her in my best Beetlejuice impression.

  "I'm nervous." She looks like she might puke.

  "Don't be. This is going to be great."

  Taking her hand once again, I give her a squeeze, literally pulling her along behind me. At the arch, I let go so she’s still hidden and step into the threshold.

  "Merry Christmas! I have a surprise that just couldn't wait another day. Does anyone want to take a guess at what that is?" I ask rubbing my hands together.

  "Does it have anything to do with why both my boys are busted up?" Josh asks, my eyes immediately travel to Parker. He too wears bruises, though that fucking blonde she-demon is standing at the arm of his chair.

  "Well..." I chuckle. Fuck him, I’m gonna pretend like he doesn’t exist. "Kind of."

  Grabbing Haley’s arm, I pull her beside me just as that asshole yanks Lacy into his lap. Fucking dude is asking for another ass beating.

  I couldn’t ask for a better reaction. Everyone gasps and yells at the same time, rushing forward.

  “Boy, I knew something was up!” Jules tries to glare at me but by the smile on her face I know I’m forgiven.

  Everyone is pushing at each other like she’s the last toy on the shelf. Gripping her shoulders, I try to back her up but I feel her panic, "Hales, it’s me." she relaxes and lets me steer her back, "Hold on- hold up, hold on- Guys, wait a minute." I can’t help but laugh, they really don’t know the meaning of personal space, "You g
uys!"

  "Why the hell are all of my kids black and blue?" Josh growls, looking at Haley’s face, thankfully he can’t see under her makeup. I internally cringe at what his reaction would be like.

  "Hales got mugged. She's fine." I answer for her in my best blasé tone.

  Chants of 'I'm sorry.', 'Are you okay?', 'Did they catch the attacker?' ring out.

  "I'm fine. It happened fast." She says, I notice her intentionally trying not to look at Parker in the other room.

  "I'm so glad you're back." Maria says taking her hands.

  "Just for the week. But I'm really glad to be home."

  "What happens at the end of the week?" Josh asks.

  "Don't know why you're asking that." Parker says as he approaches the group, his arm around Lacy's shoulders. "Not like she'll tell you the truth anyway."

  "Parker." Maria glares at him.

  He shrugs it off and looks at Hales, "Ain't that right?"

  "Dad's got a job for me and I accepted. He bought my plane ticket here after I got my ass kicked." She spits.

  "Your dad? The one who showed up at HEAT?" Josh demands.

  I cringe, this is the moment she decides to open up?

  "Yeah, he wants me to come home. So, I'll only be here for a week."

  "I don't understand." Josh admits, looking at me and Parker for an explanation. I shrug cause the truth is, I have no idea.

  "He found me and offered me an out. So, I took it"

  "Alright, little miss honesty." Parker says, stepping closer, keeping that gash tucked under his arm. I’m not the only one noticing; even Maria is glaring at him. "What's the deal?"

  "Lose the leech." She shrugs.

  HA! That’s my girl! My moment of pride is sucked away by a rush of anger so powerful I almost launch myself at him. He starts rubbing Lacy’s shoulder who curls deeper into his side.

  "Stop being a fucking asshole."

  "Stay out of it, Drew." Parker growls back.

  "Fuck that! Like she doesn't have enough shit to deal with?"

  "Drew. Let it be." Haley whispers over her shoulder.

  Fuck that, no way he’s getting away with this shit, "You gotta bring that trash in here and rub it in her face?"