by Ellie Messe
“Rejection is when your skin pushes the ink out creating patchy or faded areas. If that happens we can hit it a few more times at later sessions, there’s no way of knowing for sure what’s going to happen but it’s a possibility. The only thing I want to warn you about is that inking over scars may hurt more, I’m not trying to scare you I just want to make sure you’re aware of these things before we start. On the plus side, I have this stuff,” He pulls a little blue spray bottle from a basket on his desk and holds it out to her, “It’s called Vasocaine, it’s going to numb your skin a little to help.”
She nods, and the poor girl looks like she’s about to puke.
“Good?” She nods again, “Alright, go ahead and take off your sweatshirt we’ll get the stencil on.”
Haley freezes a moment before blowing out a big breath, slowly unzipping her hoodie. Parker helps untangle her brace from the material. Out of respect I look away. I’ve seen her arm; the mutilated scars running shoulder to wrist, the burned flesh that ripples in red and purples waves. I don’t need to see it again.
“Once you’re out of the brace we’ll be able to do your forearm, the most recent injuries I won’t be able to tattoo for at least eighteen months, but I’ll blend the colors around it, you won’t even notice.”
She’s taken on the Hayes family nod at this point. Parker takes her other hand in his and kisses it. “It’s gonna be fine.”
“It really is.” I add, her scared gray eyes come up to meet mine, “Remember, I’ve gotten my ass tattooed by this man.”
Haley chuckles but doesn’t say anything, “You want a shooter?” Lynch asks her without raising his head from his work station.
“What?” She asks, “I thought I wasn’t allowed to drink.”
“It’s not recommended, but if you need some liquid courage, I’m not gonna stop you.”
“You want some?” I push. She shakes her head, “I’m gonna go get you some.”
“Drew,” She whines, “No. I’m not even twenty-one.”
Lynch covers his ears while singing ‘La-la-la-la’ loudly.
“Oh shush. I’m gonna get it in case you want it. What do you want?”
Her eyes say no but slowly fade when she sees the tattoo gun and gives in, “99 Grapes.”
“Done, I’ll be right back.”
“There’s a gas station right around the corner, Ace.” Lynch calls out behind me and I wave over my shoulder. I don’t know if he saw me but he never repeated himself so I doubt it mattered.
Hopping in the truck, I drive down until I see the the little Mom & Pop gas station sitting on the edge of the street. The gray brick is stained black and graffiti litters its lower bricks. I make fast work of getting Haley enough shooters to numb a Navy Seal before heading back to the tattoo shop.
Pushing through the doors, I hear the gun buzzing inside her room. Oh, I hope it’s not that bad. Pushing through the the threshold, Haley has Parker’s hand in a death grip, her head turned away from Lynch, eyes screwed shut.
“Hey Haley Bailey. You want that shooter now?”
Without speaking she nods and I laugh, digging in the bag to withdraw her vodka.
Lynch pulls back allowing her to take it from me and throw it back. “Jesus, that fucking sucks. People do this for fun?”
Lynch chuckles, dipping the needle into a tiny cup of black ink. “You’ve got it worse ‘cause I’m going over scars.”
“Oh, God. Yeah, I wanted to be a badass but fuck this. Use that numbing spray, Drew, gimme another shot.”
Parker and I both laugh as I obey. “Drink up, Sunshine.”
Lynch wears a smile as he shakes his head back and forth, “Just tell me when you need a break, the longer you can sit the quicker it can be done.”
“Two more shooters and I doubt I’ll be able to feel it at all.”
“Two more shooters and you’ll be sloshed.” I tease, opening her third and handing it to her.
“It’s kind of the point right now.” She smiles, taking it from my hands. “I just want to leave all this shit behind me.”
“Cheers to that.” Lynch says, moving back to her arm, “Alright, babe. Deep breath.”
Haley’s eyes screw shut for a second, opening just enough to look at the remaining alcohol in her bottle before tipping it back.
I’m about to have one very tattooed and very drunk, best friend.
Chapter Fifty-Five
Drew
Haley took her first session like a fucking champ. A very, very, drunk champ, but a champion nonetheless. Lynch managed to get shoulder to elbow almost completely done. The inside of her arm is nothing but stencil work but regardless she sat through it all. Giggling and gasping the entire time. It made for one hell of an entertaining day.
Throwing Haley’s arm over my neck, I drag her out of the Camaro’s front seat as Parker gets out.
“You’re pretty.” She slurs with a smile.
“Not as pretty as you. Come on drunky.”
“I am not drunk.”
“No?”
“Nope.”
“So what are you?”
“Free.” She spreads her arms like a bird and smiles. “That hipster made my scars go away. I’m not even worried that I’m not wearing sleeves.” I start laughing making her look down at her gray sweatshirt. “Oh. I guess I am. I don’t even remember putting that on.”
“That’s ‘cause Parker put it on you.”
“Awe, he’s so sweet. I love him you know. He’s perfect. Where is he? Parker?”
Laughter rumbles out of my chest, Parker joins in, coming around the front of the car to take her from me.
“Hi, baby.” Her arms swing around his neck as she stumbles to the side.
“Hi, Sweetheart. Wanna go inside?”
“Mmm. Yes, yes I do.” Her hand slides down his chest, grabbing his belt.
“Whoa, hey now.” I yell, stepping back, “I don’t need to know about how y’all are about to get freaky alright.”
“Then go home.”
“No.” I mock pout. “I wanna hang out with you, ‘cause I miss you.”
“I miss you.” She puts her less injured arm around my neck so that Parker and I both have to bend over to keep her on the ground. “Let’s get turkey clubs.”
“I think you need sleep.” Parker chuckles.
“You just wanna carry her upstairs?” I ask him, to which he nods.
She’s a cute drunk but the poor girl still has a brace on one arm and her stitches from the other have barely been out. Neither of us need her falling and reinjuring herself.
“I can walk.” She growls, when Parker picks her up.
“But this is funner.” I say, walking behind them.
Parker leans in and whispers something to her, the way she giggles makes me shutter. Gross.
“I wanna see it.” She says once Parker puts her down, he has to stop her from removing her sweater, when it gets caught on the big white brace.
“Let me,” He stares into her eyes until her arm relaxes, her head gently nodding.
He carefully frees her of her sweater before stripping the paper towel off her arm. Reds and oranges explode from her shoulder in vibrant swirls, the purple and blues of the mountains are deep and captivating. Lynch does damn good work.
“Doesn’t even hurt.” She muses, looking over it. “It’s so crazy.”
“Can’t see your scars.” Parker says gently.
“I can.” She sighs painfully, “They’ll always be there.”
“You’ve had to live with them, sweetheart. You know where they are. But you can’t see them.”
“You gonna let Josh and Maria see it?”
Shaking her head, she hides her arm, “No. I can still see them.”
“Baby,” Parker pulls her into his chest, “I promise, you can’t see them.”
“I can still feel them.” She sniffs.
Her buzz is turning south quick, fast, and in a hurry. Needing to get her back to playful giggly Haley, I tr
y to distract her with anything I can. “Hales? You want food? Maybe another shot?” Her head shakes sadly against Parker’s chest. “Hookers? Maybe a little cocaine?”
“They used to sit on me.” She sniffs again, “They’d pin me down and light me on fire. Just to do it sometimes, other times to punish me.”
My stomach drops with a gross guilty feeling. I shouldn’t be hearing this.
“I don’t know what I did. I didn’t know how to make it stop.”
“It’s okay, baby.” Parker coos, rubbing her back as she cries.
“I’m gonna go.” I whisper, pointing over my shoulder.
Parker’s head shoots up at me, his eyes wide while shaking his head.
“She’s trashed.”
“I know.”
“I shouldn’t be hearing this.”
“Do you want Drew to leave?” Parker asks her and I throw up my hands in exasperation. I was trying to avoid embarrassing her.
“No. I want Drew to stay. No one can touch me when I have you guys.”
“I dare them to try.” He whispers back.
I’m feeling very uncomfortable. I don’t want to know, I think it might actually kill me to know what happened to her. I want playful Haley back, fun loving, can’t stand up straight Haley back.
“Wanna watch T.V.?” I try to offer but Parker kills the idea with a glare.
“We won’t let anyone hurt you baby. Never again.”
“It got bad after my mom left.” Haley’s muffled voice starts, “Before she left he would just smack me around but after she left, that night,” She takes a shaky breath and exhales loudly, “It was their wedding anniversary. They would smoke cigars together every year and that year, he asked me where she was, but I didn’t know. So he put it out on my shoulder. Every year after that he would smoke a cigar, ask me where she ran off to, then put it out on my arm. But I never knew,” Her tears clog her throat, her arms wrap tighter around Parker as she cries, “I never knew where she was. I would have told him, just to make him stop but I wasn’t able to. I swear I never knew.”
Oh, God. My chest is restricted, air is trapped and there’s a pulse beating wildly in my throat. “Parker.” I say on a broken breath.
Our eyes meet and I shake my head. I can’t do this. I can’t hear this right now. I can’t watch her fall apart. She’s not sober, nothing is masked. It’s pure, unbridled pain she’s pouring out and I wasn’t invited to listen. It’s wrong.
“Go.” He says nodding behind me, “I got her. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.” I admit, taking a step back. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m not strong enough for this. I’m sorry, I can’t be here for him. I’m sorry, I can’t be here for her. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” His eyes tell me he understands, but the pressure in my chest grows regardless.
“I just can’t. Not right now.”
“I know.” He nods, “Go.”
My eyes shift to the broken girl in his arms and it seals my fate. Men are supposed to be strong, they’re supposed to be emotionless, they’re supposed to be a rock, they aren’t supposed to cry. But in this moment I’m not a man. I’m just a boy watching a broken girl break further and can’t do a damn thing about it. I’m just a boy who can’t save her, hell, I can’t even save myself.
Backing away, I pull open the door and step out. I can’t even say goodbye, I know when I open my mouth all of the emotion trapped in my chest will pour out and I don’t want either of them to see that. I just need to bury this shit deeper inside myself. Haley’s demons are so much worse than mine and her cries hurt me more than any scar I bare. I don’t understand my desperation to take away all her pain when I can barely bare my own.
Entering my room, I wipe my face before tossing my shirt into the hamper. I notice the light in my bathroom is on, moving closer, I hear music escaping from under the door, I gently rap against it.
After a yelp and a clatter, the door opens and dear God, my breath leaves my chest.
Her skin is flawless, her eyes are shadowed and defined in black, making the green damn near impossible to look away from.
I stand there gawking at her like an asshole, for God knows how long before I manage to look away.
Her hand gently seizes my jaw, “What’s wrong?”
Gently pulling away from her, I look down and notice her dress. The entire thing is black lace, throat to knees, with green heels.
“You look incredible.”
A smile tugs at her lips as she pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, before her beautiful features become worried, “What happened?”
“Don’t worry about it.” My fingers graze the side of her neck.
“Drew.” She warns with a sigh, slightly pulling away from the affection.
Gah, fuck the rules. I lean down and kiss her very gently, I don’t know if it truly qualifies as a kiss but she’s painfully beautiful and I can’t not kiss her.
“Drew.” She whispers, her finger gently slides across the break in my lip. I shake my head in response. “I’m hungry.” Those incredible eyes look up at me and I’m fucking hers, Jesus Christ.
Tilting her chin up, I kiss her again, walking her backwards, deeper into the bathroom. Her hands raise to the zipper of her dress, I capture her fingers in mine.
“Leave it on.” Her brows furrow gently but she doesn’t fight. “Take off your panties.”
Stepping away from her, I rest my back against the cold metal of the shower stall and watch as her hands disappear under the fabric and then slowly slide down. My heart rate increases as she slides the little black fabric through her fingers all the while biting that bottom lip, the room in my jeans quickly becomes crowded as I watch her.
“Get on the counter.” Forcing myself to stay at a distance, I watch her lean back and lift herself onto the counter, she doesn’t break eye contact and I’m fucking owned, I already know it.
“Spread your knees.”
Without missing a beat her hands slide down her thighs to her knees and she pushes them apart, swallowing has become very difficult.
“Lift your dress, Angel. Show me how pretty that pussy is.” Fisting the fabric at her knees she slowly draws it up her legs until that little beauty is fully exposed. “Touch yourself.”
My once shy little Angel doesn’t even blink, her fingers seductively run the length of her inner thigh. One hand traces the curves and seams while the other raises and dips into that perfect little mouth, her cheeks pull in as she sucks her fingers. I shift to try to alleviate the ache, this girl has me so hard I could hammer fucking nails. Her fingers leave her mouth with a pop and slowly drop to her lap. Her wet fingers glisten before disappearing between her legs. She whimpers, looking up at me, our eyes never leave each other as she fucks herself. Christ, she’s fucking gorgeous. I’m in physical pain when she withdrawals her fingers and glides them past her lips. I can’t. I’m done. Did I say gorgeous? I meant Goddess.
I make the six steps in four, grabbing her face, I tilt it up. My tongue invades her mouth while her moan invades mine. Sliding her ass to the edge of the counter, her hands drop to my jeans, popping the button and dropping the zipper in record time. My dick is in her hands before I even reach the drawer.
I force her mouth to mine once again while searching around the drawer until a little foil square is in my hands. Ripping it open, I drop the wrapper into the sink before rolling the rubber down. She hikes her knees up as I step into her.
GOD DAMN. She’s hot and wet and feels like home.
I need to fuck. I need to expel this built up energy. Get rid of this misery- but she’s not some girl from the bar looking for a good time. She’s not my outlet, she’s my salvation.
Slowly withdrawing, I slide back in at an agonizingly slow speed, pulling her chin up, I kiss her just as gently. Her soft moans and gentle touches are a balm to my soul, calming the beast inside me, drawing me to her light. Her fingers trace the line of my jaw before her lips softly whisper against
my flesh. Those fucking eyes man, I can’t look away when they meet mine. I’m in a God damn trance and I don’t ever want to be free of it. Holding her knee against my hip, my other hand brushes through her hair, if I don’t kiss her I might actually die.
In and out, I push us both closer to the edge at a speed I didn’t think was possible, her hands are squeezing my neck and bicep, her legs tremble against me, I’m in fucking heaven.
It’s like an epiphany, I’m falling for this girl. I’m actually falling and fast. Not puppy love, not lust, it’s raw, real, and deep, I can feel it in my bones. Her body goes rigid as a strangled cry leaves her lips. Her body’s squeezing almost as hard as her hands and I’m right there with her.
I’m falling in love with her.
I think I’m in love with her.
Jesus, when did I get so fucked?
Chapter Fifty-Six
Emma
Drew steps away from me, and we’re both out of breath. I have no idea what just happened. I can’t even find the words to truly describe it. We have sex. A lot of sex. But never, and I mean never have we had sex like that. It was like a song, like every touch was a string of lyrics pressing into my soul, every kiss a melody to trap my mind, and every movement he made was a beat my heart tied itself around.
I try and fail to think of the words necessary to follow up, but I just can’t. Pushing my skirt back down my legs, I watch him. His eyes stay downcast as he rights his jeans, moving between my legs, he lifts my chin enough to kiss me.
“I feel so underdressed.” He breathes with a smirk, his breath hot against my lips.
I smile against his mouth, “It’s some award ceremony for my dad. I’m his plus one.”
He pulls back a fraction, his brow creasing in humored curiosity, “That might be a little too much kink.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
He smiles a little as he steps back, his eyes looking over my dress, “But really, why are you so dressed up?”
“The award ceremony.”
He chuckles openly stepping back, “Oh, I thought you were kidding.”
“Nope. He’s picking me up in like ten minutes. Apparently his firm or whatever donated money to something and now they’re honoring him or whatever. I’m not a hundred percent sure what it’s for.” I laugh, “I really need to learn to pay attention when he speaks.”
