by Ivy Smoak
I walked up the steps to my apartment. As I rummaged around in my purse for my keys, the door flung open.
“You have to see what’s inside before I die!” Kristen said as she thrust the box into my hands.
It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. There was no mailing or return address. And it wasn’t a standard brown shipping box. It looked more like a clothing box but it was wrapped in a sparkly white wrapping paper with a pink satin bow.
“How do you even know it’s for me?” I asked. I had never gotten a present wrapped so elegantly before. Not even for my sweet sixteen. Kristen was probably wrong. It was probably dropped off at the wrong house.
“Oh. That. One sec.” Kristen disappeared into our apartment.
I kicked the door closed and followed her.
“It came with a note.” She handed it to me.
“You read it?”
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not freaking mail fraud, it didn’t even come via the post office. The present was just sitting on the front step when I got back from work. So I had to look. How else would I have known it wasn’t for me?”
Fair point. “So who is it from?”
“See for yourself.”
I opened up the envelope, ignoring the broken seal from my nosy roommate. I smiled as I read the words.
You said you had nowhere to wear it. Now you do.
-Your lifeguard
Your lifeguard. I pulled the note to my chest. I had no idea what the card was referring to, but the butterflies had erupted in my stomach. I felt like I might be flown away with how fast they were flapping. J.J. was the sweetest man on the planet.
“Freaking open it!” Kristen begged.
I laughed and tugged on the satin bow. It felt so expensive between my fingers. He hadn’t started his fancy new job yet, and I hoped he wasn’t spending money he didn’t have. I tore the wrapping paper and lifted the lid to the box.
I could feel tears welling in my eyes. It was the beautiful blue dress I’d been looking at when we’d gone shopping together. It was sexy and over the top and ridiculously expensive and…the nicest thing I would have ever worn. You said you had nowhere to wear it. Now you do. I blinked faster so I wouldn’t start crying. He had said we were just friends when we’d gone shopping. But he remembered the dress I’d been looking at and that I said I had nothing to wear it to. He’d been paying such close attention to me and I’d been completely unaware. I ran my hand across the fabric before lifting the dress out of the box.
“Wow. That color is stunning,” Kristen said.
The same color as his eyes.
“And that dress is sexy as sin. And…” her hand hesitated on the price tag. “Jesus, is he loaded?”
“No. I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I mean…I don’t think so.”
“Well, he has expensive taste.” She winked at me. “It looks like there’s something else in the box.”
I glanced back down. It did look like there was something else beneath the tissue paper. I pushed the paper to the side and looked down at a rolling pin. Oh my God, he really does understand me. I smiled and picked up the second note.
You keep talking about rolling pins and I have no idea if it’s some sexual innuendo I don’t get or if you really want one for actual rolling pin usage. Either way, maybe you can teach me how to use it later.
-Your lifeguard
I could feel my face turning bright red.
Kristen laughed from where she was peering at the note over my shoulder. “What kind of kinky things do you like to do with rolling pins?”
“Nothing!” I slid the note back into its envelope. “I just happened to mention that we didn’t have a rolling pin here. For cooking.”
“It doesn’t seem like that’s what he heard.”
I laughed. “Then he heard wrong.” But my mind was going a mile a minute. I could think of a few sexy things to do with a rolling pin.
“Well I already agreed to give you two the apartment tonight. So you can test out whatever theory you have running around in your head. But…” she drew out the word in a way that I knew she was about to ask for something. And since it was Kristen, I knew it was going to be food related.
“I already made a lasagna this morning. It’s in the fridge, just preheat the oven to…” I stopped talking when she scrunched her nose up. I wasn’t even sure she knew how to turn on the oven.
“I have an idea,” she said. “You pre-heat the oven and all that. And I’ll help you get ready. You actually need to wear makeup with a dress like that. And heels! Heels are a must!” She started rummaging around in my closet before I had time to stop her.
But she was right. I didn’t want the apartment to catch fire and I did want to look my best tonight. I smiled down at the dress and rolling pin. I was pretty sure that was the nicest present anyone had ever bought me.
***
I twirled around in front of the mirror. The fabric was so light and soft. There was a peephole in the front that showed off the perfect amount of cleavage to leave J.J. drooling. The dress crisscrossed at the neckline and the fabric crossed again in the back, leaving most of the back exposed. It was really sexy. Kristen even introduced me to sticky boobs. Which were basically exactly what they sounded like. A bra that just kinda sticks to your chest with tons of adhesive. They were a Godsend and I didn’t know how I had lived without one for so long. Especially since my breasts had never looked better.
Kristen whistled. “You look freaking hot.”
My smile was so big it practically hurt. “It’s not too much?”
“All this,” she waved her hands in front of me, “is perfecto. Tim Gunn would rave. Even Nina Garcia would give you two thumbs up.”
“I can’t imagine her doing that.”
“She would…just once for this ensemble. Swatch would bark in appreciation. The other contestants would swoon.”
“You really know how to build up my confidence.”
She smiled. “And speaking of moving…did you call your dad?”
Kristen was great at a lot of things, but no one was worse at segues than her. I laughed. “I did.”
“And?”
“He doesn’t care where I go.” He doesn’t care about me. Thinking about him slashed that ego boost she had just given me. It was hard to think you were amazing when someone treated you like a literal pile of shit.
“Well…that’s great! Seriously, I can’t imagine going to the University of New Castle without you now.”
I knew what she meant. Just thinking about not going gave me a pit in my stomach.
“So are you going to tell J.J. you applied tonight? The cherry on top of your amazing date?”
“That’s the plan.” We hadn’t really given our relationship a label. He told me I was his. And that was wonderfully romantic. But I was his what exactly? Girlfriend? Greatest love? Fuck buddy? I ignored my last thought. That was definitely not what we were. Part of me wanted to ask about what would happen to us once the summer ended before I told him about possibly transferring. It would give me a better understanding of where his head was at. But I didn’t want to play any more games with him. I’d give him all the information upfront. And hopefully we could agree to not just end this because the seasons changed.
Kristen smiled. “So what else did you and your dad talk about?”
God, I don’t want to talk about the king of the dicks before my date. “Not much. He said he was cutting me off financially…hence the new phone.”
“Oh.” Her smile was gone and it looked like she physically hurt for me. “I thought you just finally bought a new one because the screen was cracked.”
“Nope.” The “p” in nope popped weirdly. I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat.
“I’m sorry. Don’t think about him. Remember your dick diet?”
I laughed, remembering my drunken declaration of avoiding all dicks. “Right. Rule number one, no discussing dicks.”
“I doubt that w
as rule number one, but yes, enough about him,” she said. “And more about how amazing you look in that dress!”
I laughed at the same time there was a knock on the door. I rushed over, eager to see the one boy that somehow erased all the bad ones from my mind. The sight of him made the butterflies increase tenfold. He was wearing one of the new outfits we’d picked out together. He had left a few buttons open at the collar which made it look a little more casual. And he’d rolled the sleeves up like I’d shown him, showing off his muscular forearms.
“I knew that dress would look great on you.” He stepped forward and kissed my cheek.
I loved the dress. But hearing him say I looked good in it made it my favorite thing ever. I smiled up at him.
“Hey, Kristen,” he said over my shoulder. “I’ll have her back by…” he glanced at me. “Who am I kidding. I’m hoping to have her out all night.”
Kristen laughed. “No need to stay away. I’m heading to Reggie’s right after I dive into this delicious lasagna Mila made me. So you’ll have our apartment all to yourself tonight so you can try out that rolling pin.”
J.J. smiled and looked back at me.
I could feel the heat in his gaze. “Come on,” I said, pulling him to the door before Kristen could embarrass me anymore. She was worse than a parent sometimes. “Bye, Kristen!”
“If you hurt my girl, I’ll kill you in your sleep,” she said as we closed the door.
J.J. laughed again. “She’s intense. And…not serious, right?” He touched his throat like he was actually scared she’d slice it in his sleep.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and gave him what I hoped was an innocent smile. “If you don’t hurt me, you don’t have to find out.” Please don’t hurt me.
He caught my hand, stopping me before I could walk down the steps. “I’m not going to hurt you.” His other hand moved to the back of my neck.
“Okay.” The feeling of his fingers on my skin made it hard to think straight.
He tilted his face closer to mine. “Okay then.”
I wasn’t even sure what we had been talking about when he started kissing me. And when he finished? I wasn’t sure how I was still standing.
Chapter 23
Saturday
“What’s your poison?” J.J. asked as we made our way to the outdoor bar portion of the restaurant. The hostess was turning over our table so we had a few minutes to spare.
We were both overdressed in this little beach town, and my mind screamed wine. It was the logical choice for a sophisticated night out. But I wasn’t really in the mood after downing half a box a couple weeks ago. “Oh! How about a tequila sunrise. Or a Manhattan. Or…no…a cosmopolitan.”
He laughed. “Which one do you like the best?”
“I’ve never had any of them. I thought it might be fun to try something different.”
“Well, try whatever you’d like, but I’d recommend sticking to one type of alcohol at a time. We have all summer to sample whatever cocktails you want.” He leaned against the bar. “So what will it be?”
He was right. We had all summer. “I’ll have a tequila sunrise.”
I sat down in one of the stools and watched J.J. flag down the bartender. I was so awkward doing things like that. If he wasn’t with me, I probably would have stood there for 30 minutes being ignored and then walked away with nothing.
J.J. handed me the cocktail.
“Oh, it’s pretty.”
“You didn’t even know what it looked like?”
“How was I supposed to know? I’ve never had one before.” I took a sip. “Mmm. It’s good too. Do you want to try it?”
He leaned forward and took a sip through the tiny straw. He stuck his tongue out like he was in pain. “It’s so sweet.”
“Mhm.” I took a bigger sip and smiled at him.
He smiled back. “So new phone, huh? I saw that your screen was cracked. What happened to it?”
I wasn’t sure if he was asking how I broke it in the first place or if it finally died on me. But I wasn’t going to ever not tell J.J. something just because it was uncomfortable. I wanted to have a real relationship with him, not a summer fling. Besides, the conversation with my dad was still bothering me. It was nice to have someone who wanted to talk to me about this kind of thing. “The screen was cracked because I threw it at my ex’s head when I walked in on him cheating on me. I missed…it hit the wall instead.”
“Bad luck.”
I laughed. “Yeah. And it was still working but I needed a new number so while I was at the store it just made sense to upgrade. Well, downgrade actually. It’s an older model. Phones are freaking expensive.”
“I know. I lost my phone back when I was in high school right when smartphones were becoming a thing. I went to the store and they showed me these thousand-dollar phones and I couldn’t even believe it. A few years before that there had been free upgrades.” He laughed.
“Oh yeah, I remember those! Ugh, I wish that was still a thing.”
He leaned a little closer. “So that explains the broken phone, but not the new number. Who are you ghosting?”
I swallowed hard. There was something in his eyes that I was beginning to recognize after our conversation the other night. I would have originally thought it was jealousy. But I knew it wasn’t now. He was being protective. And the way he was looking at me made me feel all warm and fuzzy. He was wondering if someone was bothering me. He was trying to help. Unfortunately he couldn’t protect me from my own father. I had to learn how to take care of myself around him.
“No one,” I said as I took a sip of my drink to clear my head. “The added bonus of my ex not knowing my number is good. But I needed a new phone plan because my dad is cutting me off.” I didn’t look at him as I said it. Saying it out loud sounded stupid. It was like I was a spoiled brat with my dad cutting up my credit cards. But it wasn’t like that. I worked hard for everything I had. The scholarship I’d gotten to SMU paid for more than half of tuition and on-campus housing. I hated asking either of my parents for anything. And I would have taken a hug from my dad over a check in the mail any day. That wasn’t in the cards though. Regardless, it still sounded bad. Like I was an entitled asshole.
I kept talking so that J.J. couldn’t fill the silence. “It’s not a big deal. He has two young daughters with his new wife and apparently he needs to focus all his time on money on them.” You still sound bratty. “Which makes sense because I’m old enough to take care of myself. They still need him, you know? And he did offer to continue to pay for my last two semesters of school, so I can’t complain. I was actually more than happy to change my phone plan. I needed a new phone anyway.”
J.J. put his hand on my knee. “When we first met you said he threw money at you instead of love. I could tell it was a big deal when you said it then. And it’s a big deal now.”
I finally met his eyes and he wasn’t looking at me like I was spoiled rotten. He was looking at me like he was sorry that my father was the rotten one.
He shook his head. “And I have to wonder…if he showed love that way, how is he going to step it up now?”
“He’s not. He made that pretty clear on the phone.” I blinked fast, surprised at how emotional J.J. caring made me. “He does this thing whenever I call…he talks about his family like I’m not a part of it. I’ve fought it off for a long time, but I’m done trying. He doesn’t want me in his new life. So I’m going to give him what he wants.”
J.J. lowered his eyebrows like he could feel my pain. “I’m so sorry, Mila.”
“It’s fine. Really. Our conversation today was a long time coming.”
“Anyone who doesn’t want you in their life is crazy.”
I smiled. “I don’t know…you fought me off pretty hard.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t want to set myself up to get hurt again when I’ve been burned before. But I realized pretty quickly that you were worth that risk. You’re worth any risk, Jellyfish Girl.”
> “About that.” I was looking for the perfect opportunity to tell him I might be transferring. I leaned a little closer to him. The bar was getting more crowded as it got later, but it somehow made it more intimate. “The reason I called my dad today was to tell him to hold off on tuition to SMU. I applied to transfer to the University of New Castle. I’m still waiting to hear back, but…I’m hoping to stay in Delaware this fall.”
The smile on his face was so genuine. “Delaware’s a lot closer than California.”
“It is.”
He leaned a little closer too, his eyes dropping to my lips.
“I know we haven’t really talked about what we’re doing,” I said. “And we only just started whatever this is. I applied for myself just as much as I did for us. I get it if you still don’t want to do long distance after this summer. We don’t even need to talk about it right now. I just…wanted you to know. But if you want to talk about, I’d be happy to. I don’t need to label our relationship or whatever this is. Unless you want to of course.”
He took my empty glass from me and set it down on the bar. He absentmindedly spun it around in a circle as he listened to me babble, a smile on his face the whole time. His silence was infuriating.
“And I know I talked about how I needed to take this summer to better myself. And figure out what I want. But there’s no reason I can’t do that while we’re together. It’s not like we’re going to be together every second. I’m rather independent. Not that I don’t want to spend a lot of time with you. I do. I really, really do.”
He smiled.
“But I’m in a better place now than I was at the start of this summer anyway. I feel like this weight is off my shoulders. Especially after talking to my dad. If I’d had the conversation I had with him today a few months ago, I would have fallen apart. But I’m fine. Clearly. Did I tell you I can almost run five miles? That’s far for me.” I heard crickets in my brain. “God, just say something and put me out of my misery.”
