Detachment

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Detachment Page 12

by Shae Banks


  But it wasn’t every night. There had been two nights where we were all too tired to do anything more than climb into bed and fall asleep. They’d pulled me between them, thrown a leg over my hip, with my head resting on a chest, and arms wrapped around my waist. And I liked it. That closeness was new and comforting. I felt more secure and wanted in those moments than I had in my whole adult life. But the niggling thought of them being my brother’s housemates, his best friends, wouldn’t leave me alone. What was Lloyd going to think when he arrived home and learned that I’d been sleeping with them both? Would he be happy that it meant I’d left Francis behind, or would he order me to leave the house because I’d shamed him? Deep down, I knew Lloyd wouldn’t throw me out, but the thought bothered me anyway.

  Shaking off the thoughts, I returned my focus back to my phone. I’d been scrolling through recruitment sites, looking for any openings they might have for a paralegal. I wanted to go back to work, to do something solely for me. Plus, I’d need to be able to support myself if I was sticking around. Not to mention, I had been well on my way towards building a fulfilling career before I succumbed to my new family’s expectations. I wanted to get back to that.

  I could have argued. I could have fought for my career, but I was so caught up in my new life, in wanting to be the best I could be for him. For us. Funny how quickly things can turn sour.

  The house would be full in a couple weeks, and I needed to find somewhere more permanent. To find my own way in the world. Doing that would require an income.

  Bookmarking a couple of company websites that looked promising, I felt the air get knocked from my lungs as my stomach cramped. Already? Stupid, bloody cycles, leading me into a false sense of security, just when I think I’m over the worst of it, another comes along and knocks me on my ass.

  Not wasting time, I grabbed a large, fluffy towel from the dryer and a bottle of water from the fridge before heading into the back garden. The air was cool, but pleasant. Perfect hot tub weather. Remembering what Thom said about pulling the cover off and simply pressing buttons, I stripped my clothes off and stepped into the water in just my underwear. Skinny dipping at night was one thing, but during the day, I was nervous to go completely naked in case the neighbours could see or if someone unexpectedly came to the house.

  Settling into the water, I eyed the control pad. It had been a while since I’d been in a hot tub. Back when I was freshly married, I’d joined a gym and enjoyed the use of theirs, but it hadn’t been as high tech as this one. A few friends had them, but they handled the controls and, much to Francis’s displeasure, we couldn’t have one at his townhouse due to lack of space. A jacuzzi bathtub just wasn’t the same.

  Pressing a button, I startled when the water rolled and a jet shot sharply into my thigh.

  With a mental curse at Lloyd for buying one so complicated, it took me a few minutes to figure out the right buttons to make the jets less forceful, and not feel like they could easily take several layers of skin off. Settling back in my seat, I let the water move around me, and it didn’t take long for the warmth and motion to ease away some of the pain from the cramping. My head back, eyes closed, I listened to the sounds of the birds chirping their sweet songs from the tall conifers at the back of the property, and I relaxed. It used to be familiar, the birdsong, but after so many years in the city, I realised it had become a rarity. How sad was that? London had so many alluring qualities, but something as simple as birdsong was a luxury I wasn’t afforded.

  The sound of the backdoor opening had me cracking an eye open to see who’d gotten home. Gunner let out a happy bark from the kitchen and disappeared somewhere inside.

  “Hey, what are you doing home?”

  Thom stepped up to the hot tub, kicked off his shoes, and began to undo his belt. “My last two tests cancelled, funny how they go down with bad guts when it’s due. So, I decided I’d come home and enjoy the rest of the day with you.”

  My mouth ran dry as he popped the buttons on his jeans and kicked them off, before reaching behind his head to remove his t-shirt.

  Thom climbed into the hot tub, his groin at eye level with me. When I dragged my eyes away, I followed the lines of his body before finally making eye contact. His amusement was evident in his gaze as he stared down at me, a half smile gracing his lips.

  His smirk turned into a knowing grin when he asked, “So, you finally decided to test the hot tub?”

  Licking my lips, I was distracted once more as he settled into the water, his boxers immediately clinging to his body. A flicker of wishing they were white flashed through my filthy mind before I pulled myself back to his question.

  The jets hit a particularly tender spot and I smothered a groan. “Yeah.” I shifted to get comfortable. “Cramps again. I remembered your suggestion that it might help with them, and the possibility of squashing any bad mood before it surfaces is a bonus. It’s peaceful out here.”

  “Did you take anything for it?” he asked, his concern showing in the form of a frown.

  His easy question surprised me. Francis wouldn’t have bothered asking. In fact, I wouldn’t have been so open with Francis to begin with. Considering the amount of money, he’d spent trying to get me pregnant, you’d think he’d have been more in tune with my body or cared, but no.

  Cutting off my thoughts before they could spiral, I shook my head. “No, not yet. Thought I’d start here and see if this helped first, save the strong stuff for when it gets really bad.”

  Once settled, Thom rested his arms over the top of the tub, his chest on full display. If I wasn’t wary of moving and setting off the cramps again, I’d already be running my fingers over the hard planes of his chest and shoulders, straddling him while he sank home.

  Almost entirely lost to my wanton imaginings, I barely noticed the faint crunching of gravel on the front drive over the noise of the jets. When Gunner didn’t bark, I mused, “Sounds like someone’s here. Think it could be Ryan?”

  Thom confirmed my suspicion with a nod. “Yeah, he sent me a text as I pulled into the driveway. He’s doing a short day and going back for the night clean.”

  Their early arrival home threw a spanner in my plans. “Oh, I was going to have dinner ready for you when you both arrived home.”

  A soft smile lit up his face. “You can still do it if you’d like, or we can help.”

  “Thank God that’s over,” Ryan lamented with a groan, as he stepped outside. Without stopping his stride towards the hot tub, he kicked off his shoes, yanked down the waist of his trousers, and stepped out of them. Upon reaching the hot tub, he dragged his t-shirt over his head and threw it somewhere behind him. For a second time in so many minutes, my mouth ran dry as I took him in.

  Without skipping a beat, he asked, “Like what you see?” as he dropped into the seat next to Thom and got comfortable.

  Unashamed, I pressed my tongue against my top lip for a moment, and then replied, “Very much so.”

  Thom’s fingers danced across the back of Ryan’s shoulder, tracing the ink of his tribal tattoo, and my eyes followed the movement for a moment before I rested my head against the hot tub. As much as I liked seeing them together, I was in no state to join in. Instead, I shut my eyes and relished the peace of the early afternoon.

  “Anyone want me to grab anything?” Peering through half-closed lids, Thom’s body held my attention when he stood. Water cascaded over his stomach and ran over his soaked boxers. The material clung to him, leaving nothing to the imagination. I picked up my forgotten water to distract myself, and drained half the contents before I quickly declined his offer.

  Ryan reached out and trailed his fingers down the inside of Thom’s thigh to his calf. “Water for me, thanks.”

  “Asshole,” Thom chuckled, and climbed out before disappearing inside.

  “You did that on purpose,” I accused, but failed to sound serious when I couldn’t hold back the snigger.

  A wolfish grin lit up his features and my body readily fired up at
the mischief in his eyes. “Of course. It’s good to keep him on his toes.”

  “And who keeps you on yours?” The question was out before I could stop it.

  “A curly-haired beauty,” he deadpanned.

  It took me a moment to realise he was serious. Not wanting to let the conversation become heavy, I fired back cheekily, “Beautiful, huh?”

  Without missing a beat, he played along. “And hot as fuck.”

  My cheeks heated, but I shook my head. “My ego will be as big as yours if you keep stroking it.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “I don’t mind a bit of mutual stroking.”

  Throwing my head back, I laughed a full-bellied laugh and regretted it immediately. Wincing, I groaned, “You’re terrible.”

  “All the best ones are. What’s up?” He nodded to the arm I’d brought down around my stomach.

  “Women’s trouble,” I explained in mock seriousness. “Nothing for you to worry about.”

  He frowned. “Anything I can d—Not like that,” he admonished, scowling when I raised my eyebrows. “Need painkillers or… oh, I don’t know, a hot water bottle?”

  “A hot water bottle? How old are you?” I mocked, getting over the sharp stab of pain.

  He continued to eye me warily.

  “What?” I questioned, tilting my head and ignoring the now constant dull ache.

  I realised his shoulders had become tense when he shifted in his seat. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

  His concern was sweet. Well, as sweet as I imagined Ryan could manage. It was certainly different than the cheeky banter I’d come to expect from him

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. “Been dealing with this for more than two decades, and I’m probably going to be stuck with it for two decades more.”

  The frown didn’t disappear, and it was easy to see he wasn’t convinced with my brush off, but he let it go.

  Changing the subject, he questioned, “So what did you do today other than lounge in the hot tub?”

  Lifting one shoulder, I replied, “I looked for a job. It’s been a few years, and I have some money tucked away, but when Lloyd and Sam come home the house is going to be crowded. I have enough to start up and keep me going for a while, but I really do need a job.”

  He straightened abruptly from his relaxed position, the sudden move making the jetted-water even more chaotic. His exuberant grin was ridiculous as he shouted, “Thom!”

  “Yeah?” came the hollered reply from the kitchen.

  Not taking his eyes from mine, he shouted, “Changed my mind. Make it a beer.”

  I gave him a quizzical look.

  “Celebrating,” he explained.

  “Me moving out is a cause for celebration?” I teased.

  Ryan moved through the water until his stomach pressed against my knees. Reaching out, he cupped my chin and tilted my face to his. I pressed my lips together in an attempt to smother the laugh wanting to escape.

  His eyes met mine, his gaze intense. “It’s not as good as having you right here, but it’s better than you moving away.”

  I shifted my knees to accommodate him, and he moved until he could press his lips against my own. His kiss was surprisingly gentle, and at any other time I’d have encouraged a little more than that, but with the way I was feeling, I didn’t really want to be sexed up. It was strange, considering how the last week or so had gone.

  “Did I miss something?” Thom asked, holding up Ryan’s bottle.

  He turned and took it, leaving me on my side of the tub, and announced, “Lyla’s decided to stick around. Job hunting.”

  I expected Thom to get back in the tub, but he walked around to me and kissed my shoulder, then my neck. “That’s a relief.”

  Turning to look at him with my brows pulled in, I queried, “It is?”

  “Absolutely,” he reaffirmed, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “I had all sorts of awful alternatives springing to mind.”

  I couldn’t stop the smile. “Really? Like what?”

  Sliding back into the tub, he reached out and brushed Ryan’s shoulder with his right hand then reached for mine with his left. His fingers gripped mine as if he was nervous, and it put me on edge. Thom, from what I knew about him so far, wasn’t typically a nervous guy.

  “The worst was you returning to London,” he admitted, with a pain-filled sigh. “That would have been a real issue, I think.”

  I glanced at Ryan as if expecting him to crack a joke, but he gave a single, stern nod.

  Despite my growing physical discomfort—cursed, broken body—my stomach filled with butterflies and my chest tightened with elation.

  There’d never been a solid declaration from any of us before then, it hadn’t been long enough, and we didn’t know each other that well despite fucking like animals for most of the week. It had just been a bit of fun while the house was void of my brother and their fourth housemate. A distraction while I healed. Something to spice up whatever Ryan and Thom already had.

  But in that moment, it changed. It became something else entirely. A tangible, living, breathing adjustment to our lives. Our life. We had become we. Us.

  And it was perfect.

  The crippling spear of pain just to the right of my navel was not.

  “Lyla?” Thom’s panicked voice brought me back from the brink of letting the pain consume me.

  They spoke and moved as one, Ryan’s hand splaying on my back as Thom smoothed my hair back with his flattened palm.

  “This isn’t helping,” Thom announced, as he rose to his feet.

  Ryan followed and they each took one of my hands and, with more care than I expected, guided me to my feet.

  When I was out of the tub, Ryan wrapped my towel around me before he spun on his heel and disappeared into the house.

  “I’m okay,” I murmured feebly.

  “You are anything but okay, Lyla,” Thom stated firmly. “I think you should call the doctor.”

  I shook my head and followed Ryan inside. “Honestly, it’s fine. It doesn’t get this bad often, but I’ve had it before. I’ll take some strong pain killers and it’ll sort itself by the morning.”

  I paused in the hall and grabbed my bag from the end of the bannister—I kept my paracetamol and codeine stored in there for easy reach—just as Ryan reached the foot of the stairs. In his haste to rush around the house, he hadn’t bothered to get himself dry and was currently still dripping water all over the floors, and his boxers clung to his narrow hips. His hand shoved something in front of my face, and I realised he was holding one of my night shirts. “Get dried, get into this, and get on the sofa. I can handle dinner before I go back to work.”

  I wasn’t arguing, I was feeling worse as the minutes passed. Thom followed me into the lounge, offering me water as I sat heavily on the sofa.

  I got as far as taking the pills from my bag, but my wet underwear distracted me, so I placed the tablets on the side with the intention to take them once I’d gotten changed. “Thanks. I’ll be okay when I’ve taken those. I’ll try to have a nap, it won’t hurt so much then.”

  Concern was etched on his face. “Will you be okay for five while I get changed?”

  My eyes closed as exhaustion kicked in, but I nodded and tried to liven myself back up enough to get changed. I reached up to unfasten my bra, but had to stop when the movement made the pain come back with a vengeance.

  Thom, having seen my predicament, reached out and unclipped it for me with one hand, and I allowed him to guide it down my arms.

  Miserable, I grumbled, “Sorry.”

  Kissing the top of my head, he murmured, “Don’t apologise for being unwell. I’m here all evening, so just put your feet up and relax.” Straightening, he left, taking my bra with him.

  Tugging my night shirt over my head was painful, as was slipping my panties off and balling them inside the towel.

  Not able to do anything more than leave them on the floor for now, I reached for the blanket and tried to get comfort
able. Lying down was slightly less agonising and I closed my eyes.

  Of all the times to go down with the damned cramps.

  14

  Ryan

  By the time I was ready to leave for work, Thom had walked Gunner, and Lyla had passed out on the sofa wrapped in a blanket before either of us had a chance to get her to take the painkillers. Her brow was furrowed from the discomfort even in sleep, but neither of us were willing to wake her in case the pain became worse.

  With my bag in hand, I hovered in the doorway, my feet refusing to move. No matter how much I knew I’d get shit if I arrived late to work, I couldn’t bring myself to leave her.

  A large hand settled on my shoulder as a stubbled jaw rubbed against my ear. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  “Just… yeah, okay. Give me a text if you need me. Any change and I’ll come home.” Even with Thom’s assurance, my feet still didn’t move from the spot as we both stared down at her.

  Thom’s hand dropped from my body, but not without trailing his fingers down my spine first.

  Fucker.

  With a kiss pressed to my cheek, he reminded me, “You’re going to be late. She’ll be fine. Go.”

  Annoyance spiked to an all-time high as I dragged my gaze away from her and left the house. Several times during the drive to work, I’d had to talk myself out of turning the car around and going home to make sure she was okay.

  It did occur to me then that I was in far deeper than I ought to have been. It was supposed to be a bit of fun, not heavy on the feelings, but right then I didn’t care. She was ill and taking care of her was all that mattered.

  But it wasn’t only her and me. Thom was very much a part of what we had, and I knew he felt the same. Thom was there, Gunner too. They’d take care of her.

  Throughout my shift, I’d continuously taken my phone out of my pocket to check for messages from Thom, hoping he’d give updates on Lyla. The minute the mop head landed in the bin, I was out the door without even bothering to shower and change first.

 

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