I won’t keep a journal any more. I’ll write. I’ll write every day. But not in a journal. If I have something going on in my life that I need to figure out or express, I’ll talk to Bo.
I may never be a butterfly. But I’m finally free from the cocoon.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
For those of you thinking that this was a very odd book for me to write, all I can say is that I totally agree. I have a good explanation, though. When I came up with the idea I was crazy high.
Let me start over. I had cancer.
Treatment for cancer spans a whole range of possibilities, but it usually involves a fair bit of pain. My treatment was blessedly short compared to what some go through, but it still delivered on the pain part because cancer is an asshole. While I was lying in my hospital bed, I looked gratefully up at my morphine drip knowing full well I couldn’t get through the week without it, and the thought crossed my mind that I might end up like so many others and not be able to get through any subsequent weeks without it, either. That’s when I got the first inkling for this book. I was afraid, and when I’m afraid of something I turn it into a monster (hello, Doctor Goodnight) and put it in a book.
But I was lucky. Not only did I come out of the hospital cancer free, I came out with no dependency on opiates. For that I have to thank my surgeons, Dr. Babak Moeinolmolki and Dr. Andreas Keiser, and the incredible nursing staff at USC’s Keck Medical. They took amazing care of me while I was in hospital, and then when I got home they checked on me many times to make sure that opiates were not destroying the life they’d worked so hard to save.
I also have to thank the usual suspects: my husband, Albert, my daughter, Pia, my agent, Mollie Glick, and my editor, Rachel Petty. I couldn’t do any of this without you. I love you all.
THE INTERNATIONALLY BESTSELLING TRILOGY
STARCROSSED
by Josephine Angelini
Destiny brought them together.
The Gods will keep them apart.
OUT NOW
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Josephine Angelini is a theatre graduate from New York University, specialising in the classics. Originally from Massachusetts, she now lives in Los Angeles with her screenwriter husband, her daughter, and two shelter cats. You can find her on Instagram as @josephine_angelini, on Twitter as @josieangelini and on Facebook under @josephineangelini.
She is the author of international bestsellers Starcrossed, Dreamless, and Goddess, as well as the WorldWalker trilogy (Trial by Fire, Firewalker, Witch’s Pyre). All six titles are published by Macmillan in the UK.
AUTHOR NOTE
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues raised in this book, you can find help at any of the below organisations – you’re not alone.
FOR HELP IN THE US
National Alliance on Mental Illness
W: nami.org
T: 1-800-950-NAMI – Mon-Fri, 10am-6pm EST
E: [email protected]
National Crisis Text Line
T: text HOME to 741741
FOR HELP AROUND THE WORLD
Kids Helpline - Australia
W: kidshelpline.com.au/young-adults
T: 1800 55 1800
Child Helpline International
W: childhelplineinternational.org/child-helplines/child-helpline-network/ – this is a list of dedicated child helplines around the world that you can contact for help and advice
FOR HELP IN THE UK
Childline
For children and young people under 19 who need to talk to someone
W: childline.org.uk – for 1-2-1 web chat with a counsellor, emails and more information
T: 0800 1111. This number won’t show up on your phone bill. If you are d(D)eaf or hard of hearing, you can contact a Childline counsellor through a qualified BSL interpreter Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, and Saturdays 8am-1pm. Visit childline.signvideo.net
FRANK
For free confidential drugs information and advice
W: talktofrank.com – you can live chat with a counsellor from 2pm-6pm 7 days a week.
T: 0300 123 6600 – call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you have any hearing impairments, you can text FRANK on 0300 123 1099. You can talk to FRANK in 120 different languages – just the number and request an interpreter
Text: 82111
Email: talktofrank.com/contact - you will get a reply from [email protected] and the subject line won’t have your question in it
The Mix
For young people under 25 who need free confidential support
W: themix.org.uk
T: 0808 808 4994
Text: THEMIX to 85258 – if you urgently need help, you can text the Crisis Text Line and will be connected to a trained volunteer in less than five minutes to provide crisis help.
Youngminds
W: youngminds.org.uk
T: 0808 802 5544 – Youngminds Parents Helpline - for parents and carers worried about their children’s drug use, available Mon-Fri 9:30am to 4pm
Text: YM to 85258 if you’re in Crisis and need to speak to someone immediately.
Books by Josephine Angelini
The Starcrossed trilogy
Starcrossed
Dreamless
Goddess
The Worldwalker trilogy
Trial by Fire
Firewalker
Witch’s Pyre
First published in the UK 2019 by Macmillan Children’s Books
This electronic edition published 2019 by Macmillan Children’s Books
an imprint of Pan Macmillan
20 New Wharf Road, London N1 9RR
Associated companies throughout the world
www.panmacmillan.com
ISBN 978-1-5290-1772-4
Copyright © Josephine Angelini 2019
Cover images © Shutterstock
The right of Josephine Angelini to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Pan Macmillan does not have any control over, or any responsibility for, any author or third-party websites referred to in or on this book.
You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Book design by Eileen Savage
Visit www.panmacmillan.com to read more about all our books and to buy them. You will also find features, author interviews and news of any author events, and you can sign up for e-newsletters so that you’re always first to hear about our new releases.
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