by Shana Galen
She opened her door, looked right and left, and stepped into the empty corridor. She raised her hand to knock on Jasper’s door, but he opened it before she had the opportunity. “What are you doing out of your room?”
“I...” She didn’t know how to answer him. All she knew was she wanted to see him.
“Come inside before someone sees you.” He widened his door and stepped aside. She scooted inside and he closed the door behind her. Quite suddenly, she second-guessed her decision. He wasn’t wearing his shirt or his mask, and he stood closer than she was prepared for. She stepped back, only to feel the door press into her. Jasper put a hand on the door’s frame. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. It was difficult to think of words when he was this close to her. His hazel eyes looked green in the dim light of the candles and though she could see his scar, it didn’t detract at all from his handsomeness. His scent of smoke and clean soap enveloped her, and she closed her eyes and inhaled.
“You can tell me,” he said, obviously misunderstanding her expression. “Is it Richard?”
“He’s asleep,” she said. “It was no easy feat considering how excited he is to arrive in London tomorrow.”
“Why aren’t you asleep? Too excited?”
She shook her head.
“Worried?”
“Of course, but...” She should just say it. She’d regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t say it. She looked into his eyes. “I’ll miss you.”
His brows actually came together in confusion. “I won’t abandon you.”
“I know. But it won’t be like it has been. I won’t have time alone with you.”
His gaze traveled to her lips then he determinedly brought it back to her eyes. “As I’ve explained, that’s probably for the best. They’ll be enough talk without the ton assuming something untoward between us.”
She fought the urge to view his words as a rejection. If she did so, she might as well walk back out the door she’d just come in. But if he’d meant them as a rejection why did he look as though he wanted to kiss her? Why did he not move away from her?
“It may be for the best, but it’s not until tomorrow. Untoward as it is, I want to spend part of the night with you.”
His eyes darkened, but he didn’t speak.
“Should I go back to my room?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
Without hesitating, she turned and reached for the latch. His hand covered hers before she could lift it. “Not yet,” he whispered next to her ear.
She shivered. “When?”
“After I do this.” He lifted her hair and brushed it over her shoulder, then lowered his lips to graze her neck. Her hand tightened on the latch at the rush of pleasure. His lips moved over her skin, creating delicious spirals of warmth. She curled her toes and let her head fall back to give him greater access. A soft moan escaped her lips, and it was a sound she knew she should have been embarrassed to make, but she couldn’t quite make herself care. All she cared about was the feel of Jasper’s lips.
When he pulled back, she turned her head to look at him, to look at his soft lips that gave her so much pleasure. “Shall I leave now?”
“After this.” He repeated his ministrations on the other side of her neck, this time moving the collar of the robe to press his lips to the patch of skin where her neck and shoulder met. Finally, she couldn’t resist any further and she turned to face him. He pulled her close, and she wrapped her arms about him and lifted her lips to graze his. He kissed her back and everything inside her seemed to melt until she wasn’t sure where she ended and he began. The kiss deepened and she clung more tightly until suddenly Jasper drew back.
“I’m sorry.”
She pulled his mouth back to hers, needing the connection between them. “Don’t stop.”
He kissed her again, and she returned his passion with her own. Her hands roamed over his shoulders, down his back, along his muscled arms. Touching him was amazing. His skin was sleek and muscled under her fingertips. His flesh was hot and the more she ran her fingers over him, the more fervent his kisses until finally he pushed her back against the door and pulled away, lowering his head onto her shoulder and breathing heavily.
“Why did you stop?” She slid her hands to his chest, and he grasped her wrists and stilled her.
“I need a moment.” His breathing was ragged and harsh.
“Have I done something wrong?” She shrank back now. She’d felt so safe and free, but perhaps she’d gone too far. She’d done something she shouldn’t have.
“No.” He tightened his grip on her wrists momentarily then looked into her eyes. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Did I make you lose control?” That was what Withernsea had said when, after he’d taken his pleasure, she lay crying on the cold floor. He’d blamed her, said she made him lose control.
Jasper furrowed his brow. “No. No one can ever make someone else lose control. You’re beautiful and—I won’t lie—I want you. But I am in control of my own actions, just as you are in control of your own actions.”
“But Withernsea said—” She clamped her mouth shut. She hadn’t meant to say his name. “I thought men were different. I thought they could reach a point where they lost all power over their desires.”
“That’s a lie told by someone who wants to blame someone else for his bad behavior. Nothing you could ever do would force me to lose control of my own actions.”
She took a deep breath, and it was almost as though this was the first deep breath she’d taken in a long, long time. She’d felt so guilty all these years, as though she had done something to cause Withernsea to rape her. But what Jasper said made sense. And he certainly proved it with his own behavior.
“Then why did you stop?” she asked.
He smiled. “You want me to kiss you again.”
“Yes!” she answered truthfully.
“I stopped because the rules changed. Before you didn’t want me to kiss you with my tongue. I made the mistake of doing so, but you told me to go on. You kissed me back.” He ran a finger along her cheek. “With your tongue.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Why? I liked it. But I want to be certain you like it.”
“I do. Before...I couldn’t. It’s different now.”
“Very well.”
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Can you kiss me again now?”
“Eager.” He brushed his lips over hers. “I like that. But I have one more question.”
She blew out a breath.
He seemed to be trying not to smile. “What do you want from me tonight?”
Her cheeks burned. Did she really have to say it aloud? “Nothing. I should go back to my room.” She started to pull away.
“There’s nothing wrong with desire, Olivia. I like that you want me. I just want to be clear as to what you want.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to feel pleasure. I want you to feel safe with me. I want you to think back on tonight and smile.”
His words made her skin burn hotter. But he didn’t look away from her. He gave her no reprieve from her mortification. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“Start by telling me what you don’t want.”
She swallowed. “I don’t want...I don’t want to do—” She waved her hand. “The act that produces babies.”
“Then we won’t do that. What else?”
“I don’t want you to hold me down.”
“Never.” He brushed his lips over hers again, his touch light. “What else?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I undress you?”
Lord, she would burst from the embarrassment. “No.” She looked away from his intense hazel eyes. “You could do...like the other night.”
“Can I undress?”
“You are undressed!”
“I’ll take that as a no. Can we go to the bed?”
S
he nodded.
He took her hand. “Say the words, Olivia. I want to be sure.”
“Yes.”
With a gentle tug, he led her to the bed. When they were at the end, he toed off his boots and laid on the coverlet, head propped on his elbow. “Want to join me?”
Shyly, she sat on the edge. Then, when he didn’t attack her—not that she’d expected him to—she lay back and looked up at him.
He smiled down at her, smoothing her hair from her brow. “I thought you were a rum-dutchess when I first saw you.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means handsome. I look at you now and can’t believe you’re here with me.
She could only imagine as she probably looked disheveled from their kisses and tired from traveling. “You’re a very handsome man. I’m sure you’ve known many handsome women.”
“None as beautiful as you.”
“You’re delusional.”
“No, I’m not.” He kissed her brow then her nose then her eyes. She giggled. Her cheeks and her lips were next. “To me you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She cupped his face. He flinched but allowed it. Perhaps she too should ask what was allowed. “To me, you are the most handsome man.”
He gave her a dubious look.
“You are, Jasper!”
He shook his head. “I have another question for you. The bed is fine. You want to stay clothed—mostly clothed.” He winked. “Can I touch you?”
She wanted to point out they were already touching. His body was warm against hers. But she knew he meant could he touch her intimately, as he had the night before. And, of course, that was why she was here—not entirely, but she certainly wanted that feeling again. “Yes,” she said. “I want you to touch me.”
“Where can I touch you? Your face?”
She nodded.
“Your neck?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Your breasts?”
Heat, part embarrassment and part arousal, shot through her. “Yes. Everywhere.” Anything to stop him from detailing every part of her body.
“That’s quite a lot of license.”
I trust you, she thought, but didn’t say. “Can I touch you?”
He grinned. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”
“Everywhere?” she asked.
“Yes.” His look almost dared her. Did she have the courage to touch him there? He didn’t seem to think so. She wasn’t so certain either.
“Are we done talking now? Can you kiss me again?”
“About that—”
She groaned.
“Where can I kiss you?”
Oh, Lord. Not this again.
“Can I kiss your lips?”
“Everywhere, Jasper. Kiss me everywhere. Just kiss me.” And to end the conversation there and then she grasped his head and brought his lips to hers. He kissed her. He kissed her so thoroughly she was all but breathless. And he touched her. His hands were everywhere, warm and gentle and making her squirm with pleasure. It had been easy for him to part her robe and loosen the ties holding her night rail closed. She felt his lips on her breasts, and she arched her back in pleasure. When his hand moved up her leg, rubbing her knee, caressing her thigh, then stroking that juncture between her legs, she wasn’t afraid. She parted her legs for him. She wanted this, wanted him.
She wanted to touch him. The thought surprised her, but she didn’t dwell on it. Instead, she slid her hand from his hard abdomen to the waistband of his trousers. His mouth was still on her breast, but he paused in his sucking, obviously curious as to what she would do.
She’d thought she’d be afraid of his member. She knew the pain it could cause her, but she wasn’t fearful. She dropped her hand lower and felt the hard length of him. In wonder, she drew back.
He looked up at her. “You don’t have to touch me.”
She knew he thought she’d been frightened or disgusted. “It’s not that,” she said. “I didn’t realize it would be so hard or so big.”
His mouth twitched. “If you were anyone else, I’d think you were trying to flatter me.”
She gaped at him. “You take that as a compliment?”
“It’s a compliment to you.”
“How?”
“You have a son, so you know men don’t walk about in this condition all the time. I’m hard and...er, big because I want you. I’m attracted to you. I like being with you.”
“What will happen if I touch you again?”
“Nothing.”
“What if I reached inside and touched it?”
“Nothing you don’t want to happen will happen. No matter what you do.”
She slid her hand to his waistband again. “May I?”
He closed his eyes as though reaching for control. “Yes. Do you want me to lay back?”
She shook her head. “You can keep...doing what you’re doing.”
He laughed. “You like it, do you?” She blushed, but before she could duck her head, he caught her chin. “If you like it, tell me. It’s not wrong to like it. That’s the whole idea.”
“I like it,” she whispered.
He kissed her breast again, and she slid a hand inside the waist of his trousers. He was right there, the head of his member lying flush with the waistband. She explored the head, the velvet skin that felt as though it had been stretched over steel.
“I like that,” he murmured against her nipple.
Her hand slid down, feeling the hard length of him. He was hot, and she felt the blood pulsing against her palm where she touched him.
“You can stroke me, if you want,” he murmured, taking her nipple in his mouth. She didn’t have much room to move her hand, but she tried. He let out a slow, shuddering breath, making her skin pucker deliciously. She slid up and down his length again, and as she did so, his hand cupped her sex and one finger slid inside. She let out a soft moan.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Yes,” she breathed. He stroked her, matching his movements to hers on him. She finally understood how the act that had produced Richard could have been. How it should have been. As her body reacted to his touch, she wished she’d told him to undress. She could change her mind now. What would it feel like to have his naked body pressed against hers?
“I made a suggestion last night,” he said, his lips moving to brush against her earlobe.
She shivered. “What was that?”
“I think you remember.”
How could she forget? “Your tongue,” she said.
“That’s right.” His finger slid out of her then up and over that sensitive place. “Right here.”
She gasped. “What’s wrong with this way?”
“Not a thing, but if you agree, I’ll show you the other way and you can judge for yourself.”
She swallowed. It seemed rather indecent to allow him to put his mouth between her legs. Of course, if she had been acting in the way Society considered decent, she wouldn’t be half naked, sprawled on his bed with his hand up her skirts and hers down his trousers. She’d enjoyed everything he’d done so far...
“Shall I?” he asked.
“If I don’t like it?”
“Tell me to stop.”
He slid down her body, and she withdrew her hand. He rose to his knees then moved between her legs, parting them wider. “I have to lift your skirts a bit more,” he said. As he spoke, he ran a hand between her breasts, his gaze on her making her hot and excited. The way he looked at her was both full of desire and reverence. “May I?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He pushed her skirts up, bending to touch his lips to her thighs as he did so. She grasped the coverlet with her hands to keep from wriggling. Finally, she felt the hem trail over her hips, and she knew she was exposed to him. He paused in his kissing and glanced at her face. “May I look at you?”
She nodded.
“The words, love. I want no confusion. Can I spread your legs and look at you?”
“Yes.”
He nudged her legs open, his movements gentle but firm. Then she felt his hands on her sex, opening her. “You’re perfect.” One finger slid inside her again, and she tensed as the pleasure zinged through her. “Pink and wet.”
The more he talked, the more he looked, the more the pleasure inside her built. He slid his finger out. “Don’t come yet, love. If you wait, it will be even better.”
She tightened her hands on the covers she’d clenched as he bent and pressed his lips to the curls between her legs. She jerked at first then settled as she became used to the feel of him. But then he moved lower, his tongue tracing her folds. She moaned and bucked as he licked her.
“Not yet,” he said. She bit her lips, her body beginning to shake as he opened her with his fingers then licked his way to that small bud he’d found the night before. White hot pleasure flashed through her, and she couldn’t stop the moan this time. She couldn’t stop the way her hips rolled or her nipples ached.
“Patience, love,” he whispered, his breath hot against her. He licked her, teased her, circled her, and she knew she was being too loud, but she couldn’t control the sounds coming from her. He’d been right. This was better. She didn’t know the words to describe how good this was. Her hands fisted in his hair as his head moved up and down then side to side as he pleasured her. Finally, he slid his hands under her hips, raised her to him as though she was a feast for his taking. She didn’t have any patience left. She let go and felt as though she were flying. Her body shook and trembled and she knew she had to bite off a scream. It was so wonderful, so absolutely amazing.
She didn’t know how she would ever stop herself from loving him now.
