Talk to the manager and find out her work options. Evaluate her insurance coverage. Start saving money.
Eliminate the things you can’t control.
How she’d feel when she first held her child in her arms.
Impatiently, she dashed yet more tears from her eyes. “God, stop with the waterworks and grow the fuck up already. All you can do is your best.”
With a sigh, and one last glance after Geo, Lani took the first halting step into her new normal.
Time to go home and find herself a good OB.
Chapter Two
“Dude, you gotta tell Drew something before you leave town. We’re at the club. Get over here.”
Geo punched the Bluetooth button on his handlebar to disconnect the voice mail. Guilt burned its way through him, almost immediately followed by a secondary wave of annoyance. Shit. He’d been hoping to avoid this.
Gunning the engine, he leaned into the next curve, the chill San Diego wind whipping at his T-shirt and jeans. Brake lights glowed on the interstate up ahead, but instead of slowing, he threaded his motorcycle in between the lines of stopped cars. They flashed past on either side of him, row after row of colorful, glinting metal.
As he drove, he rehearsed what he’d say to Drew.
“I don’t want you to wait for me. Go find someone else.”
Yeah, that’d go over like a fart in church.
“If I was going to be with anyone, it’d be you.”
Geo grit his teeth. No way would Drew fall for that “It’s not you, it’s me” bullshit.
“It’s over, kid. Bye.”
Groaning under his breath, he took the next interchange to head inland, where the traffic thickened even more, demanding every bit of his attention. When he roared into the parking lot of his destination at last, he killed the engine and sat for a minute staring up at the brightly lit building, fists clenched on his thighs.
How things had changed. For so many years he’d had to sneak here, heart in his throat, afraid someone would see. Now he could walk in whenever he pleased, openly and without fear, but Geo still found himself glancing around, searching the shadows, wondering who might be watching him.
Old habits died hard.
Inside the bar, he paid his cover and received his wristband, then ran lightly down the stairs to the main part of the club where the music thumped and strobe lights flashed. Even on a weeknight, the dance floor was packed with writhing bodies, most of them shirtless. He felt the admiring glances slide over him and even held a few hot gazes himself before making his way toward the bar and the man who sat at the end sipping a club soda with lime.
He smiled when he saw Geo. “Buy you a drink, sailor?”
Geo leaned down to kiss him lightly. “I’ll get something in a second, Ash. Where’s Drew?”
“Around.” Ash hooked his foot over the barstool next to him and pulled it closer. “C’mon, sit down for a minute. He’ll find you.”
With an annoyed huff, Geo sank down onto the stool and pinched the bridge of his nose. Fuck, the pounding music was already giving him a headache, and he really didn’t feel like shouting his way through a breakup, especially not tonight.
He glanced over to meet Ash’s shrewd gaze.
“How’re you holding up?”
Shrugging, he said, “I’m dealing. I knew tonight would be rough, but I got through it.”
He smiled. With a little help from a new friend.
“What’re you thinking about?” Ash asked curiously.
Stretching, Geo linked his fingers behind his head. “Just this bartender I met earlier tonight. Lady had some serious knife skills.” He smirked at the memory of Lani and her angry lemon chopping.
“Yeah?” Ash lifted an interested brow. “What’d you do, piss her off?”
“Strangely enough, no. I think I made a friend.”
“Mm-hmm. It won’t last.”
“Hey, now.” Geo kicked him lightly on the shin. “I am capable of friendships, asshole. It’s the other I have trouble with.”
“Time to tell Drew that, I guess.” Ash lifted his chin toward a blond man who’d just walked into their line of sight. He nudged Geo’s ankle with his foot. “Go on, now. Be sure to thoroughly break his heart.”
A wave of sadness and regret swept over Geo as he looked at Drew. He was a good guy and they’d had a lot of fun together, and goddammit, there’d been way too many of these scenes over the years. Aware of Ash’s sympathetic gaze, Geo stood, crammed his hands in his pockets and ambled over to where Drew was talking and laughing with some friends.
Geo studied him as he approached. Tall and slender, with soulful blue eyes and a smattering of freckles on his nose, Drew was a third-year engineering student at UCSD. He also had a wicked sense of humor and an enthusiasm for sex that many a night had left Geo gasping for mercy.
The dude was a catch, for sure, and now Geo was about to toss him back into the sea.
Drew caught sight of him just then, and with a pleased exclamation, flung himself into Geo’s arms. Geo hugged him briefly before pushing him gently away. “Can we go outside and talk for a minute?”
The smile faded from Drew’s lips. “Yeah, sure,” he said, his voice flat. “Be back in a sec, guys.”
The gazes of his friends turned hostile, and fighting the urge to squirm, Geo followed as Drew silently led the way outside.
Right outside the door, he whirled around. “Are you breaking up with me, Geo?”
“Yes.”
At the sound of the one quiet word, Drew’s animated face crumpled, his lower lip starting a heartbreaking quiver. He blinked rapidly before turning to brace his palms on the wall, his head drooping.
“You knew this was temporary going into it,” Geo said softly, and he rested his hand on Drew’s shoulder and squeezed. “I never meant to hurt you.”
He could’ve kicked himself when Drew lifted his head, renewed hope flaring in his expressive eyes. “Is it just because you’re leaving?” He attempted to move into Geo’s arms again. “Because I don’t mind waiting. I want to wait.” Sucking in a deep, shaky breath, he blurted, “I love you.”
Oh, damn. Dammit, kid. He didn’t want to do it like this.
Geo firmed his lips. Better to rip the Band-Aid off all at once. “But I don’t love you,” he said roughly, his gut churning. “This was never about falling in love, or being boyfriends, or you waiting for me. You’re cute, and I like you, but believe me, once I ride away from here, I seriously doubt you’ll ever cross my mind again.”
An awful beat of silence, and then with a cry, Drew tore himself away and turned to run back into the club. Geo watched until he was safely inside before collapsing back against the wall to wait. Sure enough, it was only a few minutes until Ash pushed through the door, caught sight of him, and came to prop his shoulder nearby.
“So. Really good job at breaking his heart,” he said almost conversationally. “Dude is bawling. What’d you say to him?”
“He thinks sex is love. What do you think I said?”
Ash winced. “Ouch.”
Despite his outward calm, Geo’s throat felt tight. “I had to be brutal, you know? Otherwise he was gonna wait.”
“Ah, babe.” Ash heaved a sigh. “You need to stay away from these young guys with stars in their eyes. They’re a lot different than we were at twenty-two or twenty-three.”
Wasn’t that the truth. At that age, Geo had already been through BUD/S, and SQT, and had earned his Trident. After two years of training, war was on his mind, and a relationship with a man wasn’t even a possibility unless he wanted his career to go down in flames.
Tilting his head back, Geo stared up at the night sky. “I never promised him anything, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know. You never do.” Ash studied him for a moment. “You gonna be okay?”
&n
bsp; Other than the fact I’m a colossal asshole who manages to let everybody down?
“Yeah,” he croaked, shoving away the toxic mixture of guilt and regret that seemed to have taken up permanent root in his chest. “I just needed to get through tonight.” Attempting a smile, Geo pulled Ash to him for a hug. “Give Nick a kiss for me, okay?”
“Now that I can do.” Ash waggled his eyebrows. “Or you can come kiss him yourself. Up to you.”
For a moment Geo was seriously tempted. Ash and his husband Nick were open, and Geo had spent many a hot night in their bed. After debating with himself for a minute, he reluctantly let him go. “Can’t. Gotta go check on Bosch.”
Ash huffed. “Geez, cockblocked by a dog. So great for the ego.” Walking backward away from Geo, he called out, “I think I’ll see if that luscious Drew wants some, er, comforting. You mind?”
“Comfort away.” Geo pulled his phone from his pocket and, with a few swipes of his finger, deleted Drew from both his contacts and his life.
It was over. Time to move on.
As he rode toward the base, he couldn’t help but wonder how Lani was feeling, if she’d managed to keep her snack down. Geo winced at the memory of the violent heaves shaking her body, her breathless mortification as he’d held her hair out of the way.
Yet, despite her obvious physical misery and emotional turmoil, her determination and sense of humor shone through it all. She’d made him laugh, and listened to his story about Cade, and she’d lost someone, too...
The sudden, fervent hope that she’d call took him by surprise.
Why would she? She had way too much on her plate to think about calling some dude who’d never be around. They’d shared a moment in time, that’s all, two strangers whose lives briefly intersected and then diverged once again.
It won’t happen.
Even so, the kernel of hope stubbornly remained. Geo racked his brain, trying to remember how long it’d been since he’d looked forward to anyone’s call like this.
Sadly, it’d been a really long time.
Chapter Three
The knock on the door startled Lani into a yelp.
Pushing her laptop away and dragging herself up from the table, she trudged over and peered through the peephole. The large green eye staring back at her first made her jump back in alarm, then huff in annoyance. She unlocked the door and yanked it open. “God, I hate when you do that.”
Rhys Halloran grinned back at her. “I know. Why do you think I keep doing it?”
“Because you’re a mean, gross boy, that’s why.”
Stepping aside, she let Rhys inside her apartment before leaning back against the door with her arms crossed over her chest, heart pounding. Why on earth was he here?
When his gaze dropped to her midsection, she knew.
“Sarah told you?”
“Aaron did. Honey...” Rhys took a step toward her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. After another beat of silence, he drew in a deep, shaky breath. “Jesus, Lee-Lee.” The paleness of his cheeks made his freckles stand out in sharp relief. “What’re you going to do?”
The sight of his distress brought a lump rising into her own throat. “I honestly don’t know yet. Still trying to figure some things out.” She spun around to walk into her tiny kitchen, where she grabbed up her teakettle and started to fill it.
After a moment came the sound of his footsteps behind her. “Tell me about the airfield yesterday. The truth this time, not that bullshit you spouted about wanting to fuck with me.”
“The airfield?” Shame and embarrassment made her tone sharp. God, what had she been thinking? Well, she hadn’t been thinking, not about anyone except herself. Even knowing that Rhys had fallen in love with someone else, Lani had still met his plane after his deployment, a homemade sign in hand, one that begged him to try again.
Behind her, Rhys said something, but the loud ping of the water into the kettle drowned him out, even as the memory flushed her hot with remembered humiliation. Along with the other team wives, girlfriends and families, Lani’d waited for him, the chill spring wind tugging at her skirt, her palms clammy with desperation, heart in her throat...
“Lani?” The gentle touch of Rhys’s hand on her shoulder made her jump, the now-overflowing teakettle giving a mighty slosh.
She pulled away and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, saying thickly, “It’s pretty simple, really. I’d just found out I was pregnant, and I was scared shitless, okay? Instead of trying to figure things out on my own, I ran to you.” Letting out a mirthless laugh, she went on, “Pathetic, right? I knew about Devon, knew you were in love with her, but I’d already convinced myself she didn’t matter. I thought, ‘I need him. He’s mine.’”
Slamming the kettle onto the burner, she viciously twisted the on switch. “God, Sarah was horrified when I told her what I was going to do. You should’ve heard her try to talk me out of it.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Rhys leaned his hip against the counter near her. “I about had a heart attack when I got off the plane and saw you holding that sign,” he admitted.
“Yeah, I could see it in your face when you walked toward me, like a man to his execution.”
“Shit, really?” His voice was full of genuine remorse. “I’m sorry.”
Unbelievably a chuckle welled into her throat. “Probably the way I looked during your flash-mob proposal, huh?”
Which she’d accepted, not wanting to hurt him, but then immediately regretted.
His own embarrassment flickered across his face. “Fuck, don’t remind me. Why I thought that was a good idea—”
They’d actually pretended for a while, had the engagement party, made a few plans, until their always-shaky foundation had fallen apart for good.
Lani sighed. “I guess if we need to put each other on the spot to get our way, then the universe is really trying to tell us something, isn’t it?”
A brief silence shimmered between them, the gossamer threads of the past that bound them together slowly parting and falling away, leaving the faint echoes of their childhood friendship behind.
Moving closer to him, she said, “Rhys, I’m so sorry I did that to you, and Devon. I just didn’t know where else to turn.”
He settled his hands gently on her shoulders and squeezed. “I can’t imagine how scared you are right now,” he said quietly. “If there’s anything I can do—”
Besides sacrifice all of your newfound happiness for me? When will I stop asking you to do that?
She firmed her lips. Right fucking now.
“There’s really nothing you can do,” she said, proud of how steady her voice sounded. “This is my mess to deal with, so what I want is for you to walk out of here and go back to Devon.”
The relief in his eyes made her heart ache.
“What are you—”
“Me? I have a plan,” she said flippantly. “I’ll be fine. More than fine.” She shut up before he could detect the lie in her voice; after all, he knew her better than anyone.
Sure enough, skepticism twisted his lips. “What’s your plan, Lee-Lee?”
“None of your business.” She put her palms on his chest and pushed. “Now shoo.”
“Uh-uh.” Planting his feet, he pinned her with his gaze. “I’m not leaving till you tell me your plan.”
He wouldn’t either. Lani didn’t think she’d ever met a more stubborn person in her entire life. Racking her brain for something to tell him, it hit her, the one thing that would convince him beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was serious about handling this herself.
She lifted her chin. “I’m going to use Tyler’s money.”
He flat-out gasped. “What?”
She couldn’t blame him for that. How many times had she sworn never to touch a penny of the life insura
nce money her parents had insisted on giving her? Even when she and Rhys had been living paycheck to paycheck and subsisting on ramen noodles and cold cereal, she’d refused to even think about using it.
Her father had put it in a savings account for her, and for ten years it’d sat completely untouched. It wasn’t a fortune, but it was decent. She shivered. Blood money.
“Yep, I’m going to use it. Maybe go back to school. Do something to better my life. Take care of my baby.”
Concern written all over him, Rhys reached out and took her cold hands in his. “Tyler would’ve liked that,” he said gently. “He would’ve loved having a niece or nephew.”
All Lani could do was nod. It was true. His girlfriend had had a big family, and whenever she saw pictures, it seemed Tyler always had a child or two hanging from him.
“What a waste.”
At those anguished words, Rhys gave an almost imperceptible flinch, his fingers tightening involuntarily on hers. He straightened, as if bracing himself, his eyes full of a weary resignation that hit her like a fist to the gut.
He was waiting for her to fall apart. Again. Like she had each and every time she was confronted with a major life event, and God, if an accidental pregnancy wasn’t one doozy of a stressor.
As always, he had come to pick up the pieces, no matter his personal cost. Tyler had been the one who died, but Rhys was the one made to pay for it, to relive it, over and over and over.
No.
“I see strength in you.”
Geo’s words from the night before suddenly cut through the roaring in Lani’s ears, and she clung to them. She pulled them close and used them to make herself let go of Rhys’s hands.
“That’s my plan,” she said firmly. “Use Tyler’s money for something good—my baby.”
He stared at her, dumbfounded. “I’m so proud of you,” he said at last. “I know that decision didn’t come easily.”
“It does help to think I’d be using it for him or her—” she touched her abdomen “—and not for myself. I think Tyler would’ve wanted that.”
Rhys searched her face a moment longer, and then he nodded. “Okay. It’s a good plan.”
Trusting a Warrior Page 4
