When his footsteps sounded behind her, she couldn’t help but tense again, praying she could say goodbye coolly when he told her he had to leave.
“Is this your brother?”
The question was so unexpected that Lani froze, her brain scrambling to catch up. She turned slowly to see him holding one of the small framed pictures she kept on a table in the hallway.
She nodded. “That’s us at the Grand Canyon.” In the photo, Tyler leaned backward and flailed his arms, Lani’s tight grip on the front of his T-shirt and the angle making it appear he was about to fall in. “My parents kept yelling at us to be careful, but I love it because that picture is so us. Silly, goofy.” She paused. “Have you ever been?”
“To the Grand Canyon? Nah. It’s just a big ditch.”
She threw him a reproving look. “Well, that was such a fun summer. We went to the Canyon and Disneyland, one of the last family trips we took before Tyler died.” She sighed. “Anyway, I’m so grateful for the memory.”
After he’d put the picture back where he found it and they’d settled on the couch, he said, “I’ve never been to Disneyland, World, whatever.”
Lani was about to let out a dramatic gasp and make some flippant remark about “What kind of childhood did you have?” when, just in time, she remembered exactly what kind of childhood he’d had.
She nodded, careful not to let any pity show on her face. “It must’ve been too hard for your dad to travel.”
“It was.” He shrugged, his lips tightening a bit. “I asked every summer, but we never got to go. As an adult looking back now, I can’t even imagine how difficult and expensive it would’ve been for my mom to find a caregiver for him so we could go, but as a kid...”
As a kid, disappointments became disasters.
Her heart aching, she said, “Well, you should go. Rhys and I went a while back. It’s only a couple of hours from here, you know.”
To her relief, a smile banished the remoteness from his eyes. “What, did you borrow somebody’s kid to take with you?”
“Nah. We just went.”
“Two adults going to Disneyland?” He sounded so astonished that she giggled.
“Yeah, silly. It’s not just for kids. It’s fun for everyone.”
“If you say so.” With that, he got up and wandered aimlessly around the living room, looking at the pictures on the walls—mostly of Tyler—and examining her meager Blu-Ray collection.
Suddenly he grabbed a case and held it up. “Call of Duty? Really?”
He sounded so disgusted that she laughed. “Oh, shit. We got that at a command holiday party as a white elephant gift. I made Rhys play it with me a few times, and when he helped me move out, he must’ve stuck it in with my stuff while he kept the Xbox. Asshole.”
“Did he win?”
“Ha, nope. I’d kick his ass by spraying bullets everywhere, and then he’d sulk and wouldn’t play with me, said he refused to reward bad tactics.” Lani couldn’t help but grin at the memory.
“You still love him.” It wasn’t a question.
With a sigh, she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. “As a friend, always and forever. I think he feels the same about me. As lovers, we never quite...worked. It’s hard to explain.”
“You don’t have to.” Wincing, Geo sank down next to her. “It’s none of my business.”
“Well, either way, it’s over,” she said firmly. “Ancient history. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.”
She could feel the weight of his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. At last she rolled her head along the back of the couch to look at him. “What?”
“Nothing.” He grimaced. “It’s just...”
“What?” She reached over and touched his knee. “It’s okay. Ask me.”
He shook his head, lips pressed tightly together, and then suddenly burst out, “What happened between you two? Together for ten years, and now you’re...”
He broke off, the horrified look that spread over his face causing an inexplicable giggle to rise to her throat.
“Now we’re broken up, and I’m pregnant by some other random dude I’ll probably never see again?”
“Oh, God.” He sounded downright agonized. “I’m so sorry, it really is none of my business.”
Lani gave his knee a reassuring squeeze, the feel of hard muscle and warm skin sending a renewed tingle through her. She pulled her hand away reluctantly before saying, “That’s why you’re here, though, isn’t it? For us to get to know each other?”
He shrugged, though she was gratified to see his jaw unclench a bit. “Yeah.”
“So I’ll answer, and then I get to ask you something. How about that?”
A wary look flitted over his face before he smoothed out his expression, and nodding, he said, “Okay.”
Hmm. What kind of secrets are you hiding, my friend?
After getting comfortable, she picked up her water bottle and took a long, slow drink. “So Rhys and I, we met when we were five. Instant friends, you know? By our freshman year of high school, we were almost inseparable, but it wasn’t romantic. Not then.”
Geo drew his knee up and mirrored her pose, his elbow propped on the back of the couch, head resting on his fist.
“This one day after school, he was supposed to come over and help me with my math homework, but he was late.” Remembered frustration tightened her lips. “Seemed like he was always running late, and it pissed me off. Besides, I didn’t like some of the people he’d started hanging around with, and he was doing stupid shit like ditching class, that sort of thing.”
“Sounds like a typical freshman boy,” he commented, grinning.
She shot him a sour look. “Well, it pissed me off,” she said again. “While I was waiting for him to show, my brother came home early from work. When I asked why, Tyler said he’d just quit. It floored me, because he’d been working at that restaurant for years, and it was part of the condition of my parents paying for community college, that he have a job to pay for his car insurance and spending money.”
“And he’d just quit?” His voice was hushed, as if not to break her train of thought.
“Yeah. I asked him what he was gonna do, and he goes, ‘Who cares? Let’s go have a snowball fight!’”
“A snowball fight?”
“Indiana in January, there’s gonna be snow, Geo.”
“Ah. Right.”
“I didn’t want to, but something—I’ll never know what—made me say yes.” Memories washed over her, of crisp air, a backyard full of powdery snow, and Tyler’s cold-reddened cheeks and happy grin.
“We horsed around throwing snow at each other,” she said huskily, “and made snow angels, and then we went inside and Tyler fixed me some Mexican hot chocolate.”
Bowing her head, Lani squeezed her eyes shut, those last images of her brother alive swirling behind them. “It’s surreal, looking back now. He’d seemed down for months, not himself, and that afternoon it was the old Tyler again. What happened next didn’t—doesn’t, will never—make sense.”
Geo’s warm hand came to rest on her shoulder, but he didn’t say anything, which she appreciated. “Tyler didn’t touch his hot chocolate, just watched me drink mine. Suddenly he got up, kissed me on the top of my head and whispered, ‘See ya, lil sis.’ Then he went down into the basement where his room was, and shot himself.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Geo’s whisper was heartfelt. “Lani...”
“I was standing there in shock, wondering what I’d just heard, when Rhys burst in shouting. He pushed past me and ran into the basement, then almost immediately came flying back up. His face was—I’ll never forget—”
Geo squeezed her shoulder as she fought for control. “I’m sorry, Lani. No wonder you two are close.”
“We clung to each other, you know? For months I couldn’t e
ven let him out of my sight. He’d sneak into my room every night because the nights were the worst, for both of us.”
“And eventually—”
“Yes. He was my first, I was his first, and because we didn’t know any better, we took all of that trauma, all of that clinginess, added sex to the mix and called it love.”
“I’m sure he really does love you,” Geo said gently. “Of course he does.”
“Well, he deserves to find out who he is without my codependent mess of a life dragging him down,” she said. “And I deserve more than pity masquerading as love.”
Too bad it’s taken us ten years to realize both those things, huh, Rhys?
Geo’s hand slid down her arm, squeezed once, then fell away to rest in his lap. She appreciated the steadiness of his gaze despite the tinge of discomfort she could see in his eyes.
“Thanks for listening,” she said at last. “I know it’s not an easy story to hear.”
“I know it’s not an easy story to tell. I’d, uh, love to give you a hug, but I wouldn’t want you to think it’s pity.”
With a cross between a laugh and a sob, she scooted closer. “Hey, if you’re offering pity-free hugs, I gladly accept.”
Geo opened his arms, and she went into them to nestle against his broad chest. He held her close, his heart a steady thump beneath her ear, the familiar male scent of spicy deodorant and fabric softener tickling her nose. She let out a quiet sigh.
“Do you have any siblings?”
“No.” His voice was a low rumble. “My dad got sick when I was still pretty young. They chose not to have any more.”
“How old were you when he died?”
“Eleven.”
She splayed her palm over his chest. “I’m sorry. Such a rough age to lose a parent.”
“Everyone kept telling me to be strong for my mom, that I was now the ‘man of the house.’” He winced, as if ashamed of the bitterness in his tone.
“So many times people forget that children need to grieve, too,” she whispered, her thumb moving in a slow circle. “They give all their support to the parent, or the spouse, while the children are told to be ‘strong.’”
The painful memories stabbed into her like a million tiny needles, of childish bewilderment and a desperate need for attention smashing up against an impenetrable wall of grief time and time again. She’d had Rhys to cling to, but who did Geo have?
“At eleven I didn’t have a clue how to be strong,” he went on roughly, “so I got angry instead, and rebellious. I was a fucking nightmare, to be honest, so it was a relief for both of us when she finally kicked me out at seventeen.”
“Do you ever talk to her?”
“Obligatory birthday and Christmas calls, mostly. We never had the chance to really get to know each other, so the only thing we have in common is my dad being sick, then my dad dying. It’s so much less painful not to talk at all.”
“Well, I was a different kind of nightmare after Tyler’s death,” she said. “Needy, bordering on self-destructive. My parents and I definitely have our own healing to do, so yeah, I know exactly where you’re coming from with your mom.”
Geo went quiet for a long moment. “It’s a shitty club to be in, isn’t it?” he said at last.
“The worst. But it’s nice to know another member.”
He rested his cheek on her hair in silent acknowledgment, his arms tight but not restrictive. Lani soaked in the comfort he offered and wallowed in it for as long as she could, before reluctantly pulling away. The last thing she needed was to start clinging to someone else.
To fill the void, she clicked on the TV and scrolled aimlessly through the channels, settling on an old rerun of Law & Order. The warmth of his body next to her, along with the emotional mood swings of the evening, soon had her curled up in one corner of the couch, her eyelids doing touch-and-gos.
At one point she woke with a start to find him gone. A massive wave of disappointment swamped her. “Just great,” she groused, struggling to her feet to find her phone. “Real smooth. Fall asleep on the guy after he’s been so sweet.”
Rubbing her eyes, she trudged to the kitchen, gradually becoming aware of the sound of running water, along with some tuneless whistling. When she rounded the corner, she gasped. Geo stood at the sink, up to his elbows in soap suds.
“You’re cleaning?”
He glanced at her, then shrugged and turned back to the sink. “You cook, I clean. Only fair.”
Holy fucking Christ on a cracker. Was there anything sexier than a man cleaning a kitchen? At that moment, Lani didn’t think so. She couldn’t take her eyes off his muscular forearms while he wrung out the rag, or the way the water that’d splashed on his shirt made it cling to him.
He hung the rag over the spigot, then faced her with a smile, and to her everlasting horror, she burst into tears. In the next instant, she was in his arms, her own wrapped tightly around his waist.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I d-don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He held her close as he rocked her. “I think you’re tired,” he said softly. “And therapy is hard and sad, and you’ve been lonely because you just broke up with your boyfriend.”
“And I’m pregnant,” she wailed.
His chest rumbled under her cheek as he chuckled. “Oh, yeah, how could I forget that part?”
“I have to pee all the time, and it makes me sleepy, and crabby, and sometimes horny as fuck...”
She really hadn’t meant to say that, and to his credit, Geo only froze for half a second before continuing to rub her back soothingly. His hands didn’t wander, and he didn’t try to take advantage, and why, oh fucking why did he have to be a SEAL?
At last the storm abated, and Lani pulled away to wipe her eyes on the neckline of her tank top. “Wow, that was embarrassing. Are you sorry you came?”
“Never.” His eyes crinkled. “But I do think I should go now, give you some privacy.”
She didn’t want him to. She wanted him to stay, and snuggle her on the couch while they watched TV, and maybe kiss her goodnight. But she didn’t say any of that, only nodded. “I guess. I’ve kinda got a long day tomorrow anyway.”
She watched as he gathered up his wallet and keys, and then she walked him to the door. “How long are you in town for?”
“A week or so.”
“Well, maybe we could get together before you go. I won’t fall asleep on you again, I promise.”
He smiled. “Sure, I’d like that. Did you have anything in mind?”
“Oh, man.” She hesitated, unsure whether or not to ask, but Geo reached out to touch her arm encouragingly.
“What is it?”
“Could you, uh, maybe take me to meet Bosch?” Wincing, she waited for him to refuse, because hadn’t he said Bosch wasn’t a pet, but a weapon? It’s not like she’d ever ask to visit his gun.
“That would be my very great pleasure.” The sincerity in his voice sounded genuine, and she couldn’t help a tiny squeal of delight.
“Yay! Text me when you’re free?”
“You got it.” Stepping closer, Geo reached out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Gonna be okay?”
“Gonna be fine,” she whispered. “You?”
“Yeah.” He drifted his thumb lightly along her jaw, leaving delicious tingles in its wake. Then he bent his head, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lift her face, even as she thought, “Oh, please, God, don’t let me have a booger hanging from my nose right now.”
Well, even if she did, it didn’t stop him from kissing her gently on the cheek and leaving her with a most reluctant goodbye.
Chapter Eight
“K9 out!”
Geo released Bosch from his tether and the dog streaked off into the darkness.
“Copy that,” the reply
crackled in his ear. “Decoy ready.”
Trotting after Bosch, Geo muttered into the comms, “Steak dinner says he pancakes your ass.”
“In your dreams. Get ready to pay up, bitch.”
He and the decoy, a white guy named Laz, traded a few more insults before they went silent to let the dog work. The wind buffeted Geo from all sides, and he peered through his NVGs as Bosch, nose to the ground, chased the elusive scent eddies being tossed around like leaves in a river. He winced. Bosch would have to be on his A-game to even locate the decoy, much less get the drop on him.
For his part, it took all Geo’s concentration to dodge the manzanita bushes that seemed to be everywhere.
“Prickly motherfuckers,” he muttered, freeing himself from yet another thorn snagging his uniform sleeve. Ahead, Bosch zig-zagged across the rocky terrain, changing course multiple times until at last he sat down, ears up, and stared off into the distance.
Ha, ha, Laz. You’re toast.
After hissing the “attack” command, Geo followed the dog as he bounded up the side of a small hill. He scanned the area ahead, his NVGs giving him a sight advantage Bosch didn’t have, and...there! Laz was crouching next to a small rocky outcropping, an otherworldly green silhouette in a glowing alien landscape.
“I see him,” Laz murmured in Geo’s ear. “And I’m gonna dodge him, no problem.”
Geo bit back a curse. If Laz could see Bosch heading for him, he’d be able to sidestep his attack. That meant no free steak dinner tonight.
Suddenly Bosch veered from his straight-line trajectory, darted around some scrub brush, and disappeared. Shouting, Laz leapt to his feet, whirling around just in time to catch Bosch’s sixty-five-pound body square in the chest.
“Holy shiiiittt!”
He slammed down on his back in a mighty explosion of dust. Geo ran up to see Bosch clamp hard onto Laz’s bite sleeve and shake him like a rag doll.
Trusting a Warrior Page 9