Lily frowned, her brows drawing together. "Forgive me for bringing this up, Sam, but prior to the general and his wife fostering you, you lived in a very abusive household. Perhaps you had nightmares as a child and the trauma you suffered is re-creating the memories."
"What trauma?" He was genuinely puzzled. The only trauma he'd suffered was the damn nightmare.
"Sam." Lily's voice dropped low. Her doctor-to-patient voice made him wince. "You were shot. You were forced to kill several men in order to protect our guests. I think that's trauma enough for anyone to produce such nightmares."
He shook his head. "No way. I've been shot, stabbed, and I've killed. Hell, Lily. How many times have you patched me up? You know I've never had anything like this before. I'm afraid to close my eyes."
"Any soldier can start exhibiting PTSD at any time," she reminded, her voice gentle.
Sam shook his head. "It isn't that, Lily. I probably should be more bothered by the things I've had to do than I am. We've talked about it many times. I feel I have the right to defend myself. In any case, I believe in what I'm doing. This isn't PTSD."
"When did the nightmares start?"
He shrugged, reluctant to continue talking on the subject. He wanted to ask where Azami was. She was on his mind every moment, yet he was afraid now that they were back in the real world, she would reject him completely.
"It's important, Sam. I need to know."
He sighed and scrubbed back the hair tumbling on his forehead with both hands. It was nearly impossible to refuse Lily when she used that tone. She'd become like a sister to all the men when she wasn't "mothering" them. "In the operating room. The nightmares started in the operating room."
"Tell me about them."
He shrugged. "They're nightmares, Lily--like a horror movie unfolding. An insane doctor is operating on a little girl over and over without anesthesia. Other terrible experiments as well, all with the same child. I'm not into horror films, but I swear this was a mad scientist taking apart people alive just to see what made them tick." Belligerence had crept into his voice. He felt like a little kid admitting to his mommy he was afraid of the closet monster.
Lily looked even more concerned. "You've been operated on before, Sam. Has this happened before? Nightmares? Anything like this, maybe on a lesser scale?"
"What difference does it make?" He was sick of talking about it, sick of thinking about it, afraid he'd never get those images of horror out of his mind.
"You were given second-generation Zenith. I need to know if it has side effects. And it's important to always document any problems with anesthesia. It helps me to be better in the field. All four GhostWalker teams share information. We want to be able to set up surgery in minutes and give the best possible care right on the spot. Sometimes--such as in your case--minutes count."
That made sense. Lily made perfect sense, and he was all over the place. He needed sleep, but most of all he needed to know that Azami was still close and that she was all right. Lily had just given him the perfect reason to ask about Azami and the second-generation Zenith--why she would have it, how she got it--but he wasn't ready to find out if his betrayal of her abilities to Ryland had led to any harm to her.
"No, Lily, I've never had nightmares like this before in my life." He was careful to keep from looking at her. "Doctors operating on children without anesthesia? No way. I never imagined my mind could go there."
Lily pulled up a chair and sat rather gingerly as if her leg was hurting her. She always walked with a limp, but Sam had never asked her why. Too much time had passed and he thought it would upset her. She always acted as if she didn't notice her limp, but once, someone had mentioned it and for a moment, her confidence had vanished and she looked like a young girl, very unsure of herself. Sam, as well as the others on his team, had felt instantly protective of her when she'd revealed that small vulnerability.
She let out a small sigh of relief. "In some ways, your nightmares make sense, Sam. You were operated on in the field and just before I went into the tent, Azami asked me if we were going to operate on you without anesthesia. I thought it was a strange question, but if she was worried about it, you could have been as well. In any case, you very well could have overheard her comment and it stayed in your subconscious. You fought going under. We had a difficult time with you at first."
Lily's explanation was more than reasonable, but it didn't make the nightmares any less intense. He definitely wasn't going back to sleep, but he nodded to reassure her. Lily mothered all of them, although she was younger than many of them. He always enjoyed his conversations with her--she was extremely intelligent and he appreciated the mental stimulation when they had discussions. He didn't like worrying her.
"You look tired, Lily. Were you up all night with me again or with Daniel?" Her son was a constant source of amusement--and worry--to all of them. He was highly intelligent, active, inquisitive, and able to find clever ways to elude capture when he escaped. He often was most active at night--and impossible to see if he didn't want to be seen.
Still, he was the joy in all of their lives. Daniel represented hope to them. He loved nothing more than spending time with each of his "uncles." Each "uncle" knew the compound had to be secure--that Whitney would do anything to get his hands on one of the babies born to a GhostWalker. More than anything else, the GhostWalkers protected Daniel and his mother.
"My beloved child escaped again last night. I hope you know all of you have contributed to his delinquency--and he's not a year old yet."
Sam tried to look innocent. "False accusations." He pressed his hand over his heart. "How can you say such things?"
"Maybe catching you teaching him to climb and Jonas showing him how to pick a lock might have something to do with it, although I suppose I should be grateful Jonas didn't teach him the art of throwing knives."
"That's next year. Where did he go this time?"
"He found his way into the tunnels. Don't ask me how."
Sam burst out laughing. He loved the baby, as did all the men. They took turns watching him while Lily did research and generally worked her butt off for them. Unfortunately, Daniel was so advanced that they often forgot they were talking to an infant and stimulated his mind into behavior Lily didn't approve of.
"Ryland says if it wasn't so dangerous to do it, he'd microchip him so he'd know where he was at all times," Lily admitted, laughing with him.
Sam rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "I suppose since Whitney put microchips in all the girls he experimented on, no one wants that for the babies, although we'd be able to track them if someone got their hands on one. In San Francisco, it was a very near miss with Kane and Rose's child."
"I know." Lily sighed softly, sobering at the mention of her father. "We're trying to come up with alternatives. The thing is, if we had a way to track any child he kidnaps, it would be safer, but if Whitney manages to put another spy in place and finds out, he conceivably could use a microchip against us."
"When did Whitney start placing microchips in the girls he experimented on? At what age?"
Lily shook her head. "I didn't find any data on that yet. We have to be careful sneaking into his computer. Our Flame here--and now Jaimie out in San Francisco--handles gathering information and then we sort through whatever we managed to get. It's a slow process, because we don't want him to get suspicious. Still . . ." She trailed off shaking her head.
Sam studied her face. "Lily, honey, you can talk to me. You're upset about something. Is it Daniel? I know he's extremely active, but he's really an amazing boy." He patted her hand. "I know cribs and playpens don't hold him and he can get out of anything, but he's loving and sweet and so intelligent."
"I've taught him sign language, as his speech skills won't really develop for another few months--at least they shouldn't. But he signed to me, unless I'm reading him wrong, that he has an imaginary friend who plays with him."
Sam was alarmed at the little hitch in her voice. She sounded clo
se to tears.
"They play games like hide-and-seek. So I guess he thinks he's playing with this friend when he's hiding from us."
She blinked rapidly as if staving off tears and Sam's heart thudded. Lily rarely showed vulnerabilities, and when she did, it was heart-wrenching.
"I don't know that much about children, Sam. It isn't easy having a superchild for a first child. I read and research, but there's no manual. The one thing I do know is that Daniel should be happy and fulfilled by his parents without needing an imaginary friend."
"Lily." His voice dropped into a soothing cadence. "You have to know you're a good mother."
She shook her head. "I didn't exactly have a childhood like other children, Sam. My father is Peter Whitney. The girls I thought were my sisters were taken away and used for experiments. I was an experiment. I was isolated a good deal of my childhood. Truthfully, all the parenting classes in the world aren't going to help me. Why would Daniel need an imaginary friend at his age? I provide him with all kinds of stimuli, both mental and physical. Ryland and I hold him all the time and love on him. All of you shower him with attention so it just doesn't make sense."
Sam hated to hear the pain in her voice. If it wasn't for Lily, all of the GhostWalkers would be in terrible trouble. She'd shared her enormous wealth with them. She provided health care and, more important, exercises and ways to help those who were without filters to live in a world without an anchor close to them. She continued to research and work to find ways to help them overcome all the obstacles they faced with their enhancements, as well as learning to perfect using psychic talents. More than all of that, Lily was a genuine, loving person with exceptional values. He loved her like the sister he'd never had.
Along with all of the things Lily did for all four teams of GhostWalkers, she was trying to learn to be a mother of a child with special gifts. Daniel was physically and mentally advanced and yet still really an infant. There were no guides for such a child.
"Have you spoken with Briony about Daniel's 'friend'? Maybe her twins do something similar." Briony was married to Jack Norton, a member of GhostWalker Team Two.
Lily shook her head. "Jeremiah and Noah are a bit younger than Daniel. He's nine months now and already walking and climbing. They aren't far behind him either, from what I've seen. You know we get them together often because they seem to want to be together. Daniel often asks me to visit with them. At least their playdates wear them out."
"Ryland told us a while back that you think they all have a secret language."
Lily frowned again, nodding her head. "I think they're all telepathic and they communicate silently, but they do have some kind of language built on sound. They definitely have a strong bond. When we were in San Francisco for Rose and Kane's wedding, even though their child was just a few weeks old, the boys all were very interested and clearly tried to communicate with him."
"That's reasonable, Lily," Sam pointed out. "You're a strong telepath, Ryland is as well, and Jack and Ken Norton have been communicating telepathically with one another since they were small children, just like Daniel appears to be doing."
She pressed her lips together, clearly still a little worried. "That's true, and it all makes sense, of course. We suspected Daniel and the twins would be extremely gifted, but they're infants. It makes it difficult to know what to do with them."
"The boys are very happy," he said. "I think that's the most important thing. And because they're intelligent, you can explain early why we take so many safety precautions with them." He flashed her a small, teasing grin. "That way, when your husband barks out his orders, Daniel won't want to rebel."
Her return smile was a little reluctant. "Daniel already has that man's number. With our son, he's all bark and no bite."
"Did I hear a rumor that someone else is pregnant?" Sam asked.
Lily glanced toward the door. Sam's heart gave a strange little jerk. Was she worried about strangers overhearing what she might say? Did that mean Azami was still in the compound? She hadn't come to see him yet--at least not that he remembered. He was fairly certain Lily had knocked him out to force him to rest.
"Mari, Ken's wife, is pregnant. She's having complications and I've put her on bed rest. She's definitely carrying twins, which doesn't surprise me. Her husband is a twin and they come from a long line of twins. She's a twin as well. They're keeping the pregnancy under wraps. They don't need the added stress on her of Whitney trying to acquire her while she's pregnant. She can't fight. She shouldn't get up at all, not if she wants to carry, so if there's an attack on the compound, she'd be in real trouble. I've reinforced her cervix, but carrying the weight of twins, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not an OB, but Ken and Jack thought it important to keep the news in the family for now. If her pregnancy gets any more complicated, we'll bring an OB in. After it turned out Eric was working for Whitney, I just don't trust any outsider now."
"You take on a lot of problems with all of us, Lily," Sam said.
"I never had a family, not a real one. Neither did Mari, or Flame, or any of the girls. You're my family now. I worry about all of you. Flame's cancer is still in remission and I hope we keep it there, but I still haven't fully been able to help Nico's wife, Dahlia, or Tansy, Kadan's wife. She still has to wear gloves when she touches anything, and Dahlia occasionally slips up and starts fires." She pushed both hands through her hair. "My father did a lot of damage to a lot of people."
"It isn't your responsibility to fix everything, Lily," Sam pointed out. "No one blames you. I hope you realize that."
She sent him a wan smile. "I know. It's my nature to fix things." She pushed a hand through her hair. "Jack told me his twins seem to know that something's wrong and they reach for Mari. They like to lie on either side of her, near her tummy. They press very close and both make humming sounds. The thing is, it's the exact same notes in a pattern, over and over. He thinks they're talking to the babies."
"That's amazing."
"They're infants. Most babies their age wouldn't even be aware of a pregnancy, let alone have knowledge that their cousins were in trouble."
"So we tend to have little geniuses. Is that so difficult to believe? You're one. Jack and Ken are extremely intelligent. I don't know their wives that well, but I can't imagine them falling in love with someone who couldn't keep up with them."
Lily nodded and swept her hand through her hair a third time, looking more agitated than ever. "My father would kill to get his hands on this information. Sooner or later he's going to try to find a way to get to the babies, or at least find out about them. The moment he does, once he actually knows what they're like, he'll move heaven and earth to acquire them. I know he will."
She pressed her lips together. "The thing is, Sam, I think he might leave Jack and Ken's babies with them because from what I've read in his reports, he thinks they're incredibly gifted, but he doesn't necessarily think the same of Ryland. He wasn't happy that Ryland and I--his first real pairing--worked. He didn't think it would. I think he wants to take Daniel from us." She glanced toward the door. "He knows I'd follow Daniel. I'd go back to Whitney just to be with my son."
"Lily." Sam gentled his voice. "Have you spoken to Rye about your concerns? That's why we've moved up here. This compound is defensible. And Team Two is close to us. They'll help us if we're attacked."
"Providing they aren't being attacked at the same time."
"There was already a concentrated assault and we handled it. Remember, honey, I got shot?" Sam tried a little humor.
Lily shook her head. "That wasn't my father. I know it wasn't. Do you really think he'll do an all-out assault and risk harming one of the babies? No, he'll find a way to penetrate, slip in and out without us knowing there's even a threat."
His heart stuttered. Azami and her brothers could just be that threat. She could easily get in and out without anyone knowing.
"We won't let that happen, honey," he said, meaning it. If Azami and her family had come to the compou
nd to steal one of the babies for Whitney--and he very much doubted it--he wouldn't let that happen.
Sam glanced up at the bag of blood hanging on a pole beside his bed. "Why more blood?" He figured it was time to change the subject and give Lily an emotional break. She had it tough and whether she knew it or not, GhostWalker Team One had her back and watched over almost more protectively than anyone else. In any case, he needed to be on his feet and figure out what was going on in his home. He couldn't protect Daniel while he was lying flat on his back--assuming the Yoshiie family was still in the compound.
"It sometimes happens, Sam. You lost a good deal of blood before we operated and even with what I gave you a couple of times, you were still a little low. I really do want you to try to rest. The Zenith is helping you heal faster, but it's possible you're not manufacturing the blood as fast as you should. I'm wondering if it's a side effect."
There it was again--his opening to find out more information--but he kept silent. He didn't want to ask and know one way or the other. If he stayed quiet, there was always hope.
"I want to get up."
"No way, Sam."
He grinned at her. "Haven't you heard about me, Lily? I have this problem with the word 'no.' It just isn't in my vocabulary."
She put on her sternest look, which wasn't nearly as stern as she thought. "I'm the doctor here, Johnson, and that means I know what's best."
His eyebrow shot up. "Johnson? Is that all you've got? I bet Ryland thinks you're all cute when you get serious on him. Of course you know what's best. Nevertheless, I'm getting up. My butt's growing to this bed."
Lily burst out laughing. "You're impossible. You've been down less than a week, you nut."
"No way." He sent her another coaxing grin. "Are you sure? It feels more like a month. Where is everyone?"
"They're locked up in the war room. And no, you can't go."
There was that word again, but he wasn't going to point it out to her. If she didn't take the needle out of his arm, he was going to do it himself the moment she left.
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