by B. J. Scott
“How horrible. You must have been terrified,” Mareal said. “I can understand your parents being upset at the time, but you are now a woman and know better than to go near a bog again.”
“It has naught to do with my age or the bog,” Elise explained. “I dinna drown that day, but I was terribly ill afterward, and nearly died. It took me a long time to recover, and since then, my parents have been afraid something awful might happen to me if I do anything too strenuous or that could jeopardize my health in any way.”
Mareal could tell by the tone of her voice and the look of despair on Elise’s face that her parents well-meaning attempt to protect her weighed heavy on her mind. It was clear she longed to have a say in if she married or not, and craved the freedom to live a normal life. While two vastly different women, Mareal was beginning to see how they shared a common bond. The need and desire to make their own choices.
“Na being a mother, I can only imagine how frightening it would be to almost lose my bairn. But I appreciate your desire to be allowed to choose your destiny.” Mareal rose, picked up a log and tossed it on the fire, before once again taking her seat.
“Your need to have some time to yourself is also understandable,” Mareal continued. “I have been afforded that sort of privacy my entire life, so canna imagine living in a household so filled with family that it is impossible to find a quiet place to be alone when you so desire. It must be frustrating for you.”
“Aye, but it is na as bad as I make it sound. I suppose there are worse things than having parents who love you so much,” Elise quickly added. “I love my family and wouldna give up any of them. I suppose we each have our cross to bear and will always envy what another has to some extent.”
“We do at that.” Mareal released a heavy sigh.
“What of you?” Elise caught Mareal’s gaze. “Given your recent loss, I suppose it is difficult to think of such things, but are you na excited about the prospect of being a bride and the lairdess of MacCurtry castle? Andrew tells me, your da. . . God rest his soul.” She paused and mumbled a quick prayer, before she continued. “Asked him to help find the right man to take his place.”
“As my father’s only heir, I would be lairdess if I married or na.” Mareal rose and moved to the hearth. After tossing another log on the fire, she slammed her balled fist on the mantle, then spoke again. “Like the situation with your family, things are na always as they seem or expected to be. Na all women wish to be wed, especially to a man who is na of her choosing.”
“I am sorry. I dinna mean to overstep my boundaries or to upset you.” Elise rose and moved to where Mareal stood. “I shouldna have assumed you were happy about your upcoming nuptials. I never thought what it would be like to marry a man I dinna know or love. It is too bad you are the laird’s only heir.”
Mareal faced Elise. “You have naught to apologize for. There is no way you could have known how I felt about marriage.” She motioned with a wave if her hand at the chair Elise had just vacated. “Please sit back down and continue to warm yourself by the fire.”
She waited for Elise to return to her seat, then did the same. “While it is true I dinna have any brothers to take my father’s place, I did have a cousin who lived here until a couple of summers ago, when he and my da had a falling out.”
“Andrew did mention there was a lad of his age living here when he fostered with your clan.”
“Kayden. He is the son of my father’s second oldest brother.” Mareal explained. “He spent a lot of time here when he was a lad, and when my Uncle Garth died at Bannockburn, he came to live with us. Until they had a huge fight, most thought Kayden would take over for my da, but that is no longer possible.”
Elise tapped her brow before asking. “Are you certain Kayden canna, or willna wish to take his place as laird now your da is gone?”
“My da forbid it.” Again, the image of Kayden’s angry scowl and threatening words filled her head. Elise had no idea how right she was, and if her cousin got his way, he would sit in her father’s place at the dais. If that happened, it would be a bleak day for Clan MacCurtry and for Mareal.
“Kayden was banished and told never to return. While I am sure he wants to take his place as laird, the clan’s elders willna go against my da’s wishes, and Andrew has vowed to see it doesna happen as well. Regardless of Kayden’s threats.”
With a hand clutched at her throat, Elise stared at Mareal. “Your cousin has made threats? Are you or Andrew in any danger?”
Realizing she might have disclosed too much, Mareal stood. Telling Elise about her cousin, so she knew to be wary should he turn up, was a prudent thing, but she did not feel she needed to get into all the details of why. “You have naught to fash about. Andrew and I are in no danger.” She saw no point in giving Elise cause to worry. Andrew promised to contend with Kayden, and she was certain he was up to the task—at least she hoped he was.
“While I appreciate your concern for my well-being, Elise, and I enjoyed getting to know you, it is late, and I am spent.” Mareal moved to the door and opened it. She did not want to be rude, but really needed some sleep. “I am certain you are exhausted and need to get some rest as well. Mayhap we can continue this conversation on the morrow.”
“You are right, and I do apologize for keeping you up.” Elise hurried to the door, prepared to leave. “Sleep well.”
Mareal rested her hand on Elise’s forearm. “If we are to become friends while you are here, you must stop apologizing for the things you feel and say. Instead, you must learn to trust your heart and say what you think.”
“I will keep that in mind,” Elise said. “I hope we do become friends and will have plenty of time to get to know each other. I will be here for at least a fortnight, mayhap longer.” She curtsied, then padded down the hall toward her room.
Mareal watched her guest’s retreat and waited for her to enter her chamber and close the door before doing the same. “A fortnight or longer?” she muttered aloud, then returned to her bed and blew out the candle. Elise was a lovely young woman, but if Andrew thought having his cousin here might be of some influence on her decision to marry and when, he was sorely mistaken.
Chapter Ten
Andrew was glad Mareal ran off when she did, or there was no telling what might have transpired between them in the heat of the moment. Despite the urge to race after her, he stood his ground, knowing they needed to put some distance between them. He also had a hall full of guests awaiting his return, and even though he was not in the mood to be sociable, he was the acting laird, and dutybound to thank everyone for coming to pay their respects to Lorne, and to say a proper good night. Once done, he couldn’t retreat to his chamber fast enough.
“You are a damned impulsive fool, and should be horse whipped,” Andrew grumbled aloud. Furious with himself for giving in to temptation, he slammed his balled fist on the closed door of his chamber. There was no excuse for his behavior. With his now aching knuckles still touching the wooden slab, he exhaled slowly, then lowered his head, resting his brow on his forearm. He’d acted like a randy lad who could not control himself, rather than a grown man and future laird. To offer comfort was one thing, but to kiss Mareal was unacceptable.
There was no point in trying to deny the strong attraction he felt for her, and seeing her upset and vulnerable had tugged at his heartstrings. But it did not give him the right to take liberties that were not his to take. Even if she did welcome it. He had overstepped his boundaries and vowed he would never let it happen again.
It was not like Andrew to act on impulse or to respond in an aggressive manner unless provoked or threatened, but nothing about tonight, the way his body reacted around Mareal, or his stay so far at MacCurtry Castle was normal. Kissing his charge, a woman he had detested since he was a lad, and had no future with, pushed the limits between right and wrong. He had to draw a line somewhere—for both of their sakes.
Andrew forced himself to remember the reason her father summoned him here, a
nd of his obligation to Clan Fraser as future laird. It would not be easy to erase what happened between them. But he had to try. Now that the funeral was over and Elise was here, he planned to spend as little time around Mareal as possible. He would get on with honoring her father’s bequest, find her a husband, and return to Fraser Castle as fast as his horse could carry him. Purging his mind of Mareal might not be easy, but it was something he had to do.
A rap on the door interrupted Andrew’s rant. “Aye, who is it?” His heart rate quickened, and his mouth went dry. A visitor was the last thing he needed right now, and he hoped it was not Mareal.
“Your father,” Connor said. “We need to talk.”
Andrew swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, then backed away from the door. For as long as he could remember, his father had an innate knack of knowing when he had done something wrong.
“Can it na wait until morn? I am tired and wish to get some rest.” While he was not sure he could fall asleep, talking to his father in his current state of confusion was not something he fancied.
“I would say aye, but your uncle and I are planning to leave for home at first light. If we dinna talk now, there might na be another chance to do so. This is important, Son, and canna wait.”
Andrew opened the door, stepped aside, and waited for his father to enter his chamber. “I had no idea you were leaving so soon. I thought you might stay for another day or so.” The familiar crease of his father’s brow and the way he was glaring at him, stirred the same uneasiness and ache in the pit of his stomach he’d experienced as a lad when he was about to face a reprimand. In need of some fortification, he moved to a table in the corner and filled two goblets with mead. After handing one to his father, he brought his own to his lips and drank deeply. “What is it you thought we needed to discuss?”
“I saw Mareal come down from the parapets, na long after she retired for the night, and she appeared upset. I wondered if you had anything to do with it,” Connor said bluntly.
“Why would you think that?” Andrew finished his mead, then refilled his mug. “It is late, Da, and I really would like to get some rest.”
“You can sleep after we’ve talked.” Connor closed the door and faced Andrew. “Mareal is a comely lass and I can understand if you find yourself attracted to her, but keep in mind she is Lorne’s daughter and the reasons he summoned you here. Courting Mareal was not one of them.” Connor widened his stance and narrowed his gaze at Andrew.
“True, she is na the lass I remember, but I know why I was asked to come here, and have no intention of courting her.” Not only did his father know when Andrew had done something wrong, but he also seemed to know what he was thinking or about to say before he uttered the words. “I still dinna understand why you think I upset her.”
“Na long after Mareal raced through the hallway toward her chamber like a frightened deer, I saw you come down from the parapets. I would have asked you about it sooner, but in a hall filled with guests was na the place, so I have been waiting to get you alone. I figured you werena yet asleep, and thought we might need to chat.”
Andrew tugged at the collar of his tunic and nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He was suddenly feeling warm, and even if he could not bring himself to look Connor in the eye, he knew his father watched his every move. He could never lie or deceive him, even if he wanted to. Connor always managed to figure out when he was not telling the truth.
“I am fully aware that Mareal is to marry a man who will take her father’s place, and remain with her here. I am na that man.” He squared his shoulders, but his gaze remained focused on the floor while he explained. “She was upset about her da, and I tried to offer comfort and nothing more.” None of his statements were lies and he saw no point in getting into the dishonorable details of their kiss, especially since he had no intention of ever allowing it to happen again.
Connor rested his hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “I wasna trying to imply anything, Son, nor would I ever stand in your way if you fell in love. But you do have responsibilities at Fraser Castle, and your place is there. I trust you, but wanted to make sure you dinna lose touch with why you are here.”
“I can assure you, there is no reason to fash.” Andrew raised his chin and looked his father in the eye. “Once a suitable husband is found for Mareal, I will return to Fraser Castle.”
Before he could say any more, Connor drew Andrew into an embrace, hugged him tightly, then released him. “I am glad we could talk and set things straight before Bryce and I leave. It has been a challenging time for you since your arrival and losing Lorne couldna have been easy for you either. I know how you felt about him and have no doubt you will honor your promises.”
“I plan to do my best.” The words caught in his throat and Andrew found himself in need of another drink. Instead he coughed and smiled at his father. “I am glad we got to talk too. Is there no way I can convince you to stay a little longer?” Having his father and uncle here to keep him in line was not a bad idea. “I am sure Elise would like you both to stay.”
“We delivered your cousin as you requested and paid our respects to Lorne, but I have pressing things to tend to at home, so Bryce and I will leave at first light. He said goodbye to Elise before she retired for the evening.”
“Will you na wait to at least break your fast?”
“As you know, it is a long ride and we must get back. I am sure you can manage things here, and Bryce trusts you to take care of Elise,” Connor said. “It wasna easy for Fallon to let her come. You know how she frets over the lass. But we assured her she would be fine, and you would watch over her.”
“You have my word on it.” Andrew extended his hand to his father, who in turn grasped his wrist and pulled him into another embrace. “Safe travels,” he muttered against his father’s shoulder. Despite being a large man and fierce warrior, Connor had always openly shown and expressed his affection for his wife and bairns. Andrew hoped when the day came that he had babes of his own, he could be half the father Connor had been.
“I have faith in you, Andrew.” Connor released his hold and took a step back. “You look exhausted and have a busy time ahead of you. Best you get some rest.” After patting his son’s back, he spun on his heel and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Andrew raked his fingers through his hair, and released a slow whistle. Part of him was sorry to see his father go, yet part of him was relieved to end the uncomfortable conversation about Mareal. He debated about pouring himself another mug of mead, but instead, he disrobed and climbed into bed. Today had been difficult on an emotional level and he needed some sleep if he wanted to keep his wits about him and his desires under control.
Despite his effort to rest, Andrew tossed and turned for what seemed like an eternity. Each time he closed his eyes, Mareal’s face appeared before him. He would never forget her expression of shock when he kissed her. Nor would he forget what it felt like to hold her in his arms, to feel the race of her heart against his chest, her quick intake of breath when he pressed his lips to hers, or the little mewl of pleasure she released when he slid his tongue along the soft pink seam of her mouth, willing her to open.
He stared at the ceiling, wondering how he was going to face her in the morning. Would she behave as if nothing happened, or chastise him publicly for what he’d done and vent her anger? Either way, he had to prepare himself for their next encounter and those that followed. He’d harden his heart if necessary and avoid spending time alone with her until he found her a husband. He would let Elise keep her busy, hopefully teaching her to act more ladylike, and to be more accepting of her destiny.
As if he didn’t already have enough to worry about, Kayden crossed his mind as well. While he had not shown up at the funeral, he had made it clear he was up to no good and would likely try to claim what he believed was his rightful place as laird. Mareal needed protection, so while he did not want to spend time with her, he intended to keep a close eye
on her from a distance. After her run in with Kayden, he hoped she’d learned a lesson about going off on her own. But with a headstrong, independent woman like Mareal, one never knew what she might do next.
Since sleep evaded him, Andrew rose and poured himself another mug of mead, before heading to the window. He shoved open the shutters—the cool, fresh Highland air feeling good against his heated flesh. He peered up at the star-spattered sky and raised his tankard. “If you are up there Lorne, rest well. I will keep my promise and find Mareal a husband before I return to Fraser Castle. Not that it is going to be easy.” He drained the mug, then headed back to bed.
Chapter Eleven
Beams of sunlight streamed through the window, their warmth caressing Andrew’s face, causing him to stir. Unable to settle until a little before dawn, he felt as if he’d not yet slept a wink. He groaned aloud, and shielded his eyes with his forearm, blocking out the annoying light.
“It canna be time to get up already,” he mumbled. After Lorne’s funeral, what happened between him and Mareal on the parapets, and the confrontation with his father, it surprised him he slept at all.
The conversation he had with his father before retiring bothered him greatly. He liked to think that he and Conner were close enough to share anything, be it good or bad. He had never lied to his father in the past, and respected him more than any man he’d ever known. But when confronted about his feelings for Mareal, he skirted the subject and evaded the questions. Andrew couldn’t bring himself to tell his father about the confusion and inner turmoil he experienced when around the lass. Unfortunately, it was something he needed to deal with alone.
When Connor told him that he and Bryce were leaving for Fraser Castle at first light, he considered asking them to stay. But he knew there were pressing duties awaiting his father’s attention at Fraser Castle, and he needed to get back. While they exchanged their goodbyes last night, Andrew planned to get up early enough to reassure his father he intended to honor his promises to Lorne before seeing them off. He glanced at the window and groaned again. Judging by the brightness of the day, he had likely missed their departure.
