by Martha Carr
"What are you planting?" He peered over her shoulder.
"A few things. Next are a few azalea bushes. The old ones died off during the last hard freeze."
"Azaleas..." Yumfuck tapped his chin. "You should try arie blooms from Oriceran. They last through all kinds of weather. They're a favorite of trolls."
"Hard to get and harder to explain." She sat back on her heels and brushed the dirt off her knees.
An older man walked out of the house carrying a tray with a pitcher, two glasses, and a plate of cookies.
"Portia, I brought you some..."
He stopped and did a doubletake, catching himself. "Marvelous! I heard a rumor there was a troll in the neighborhood."
"A celebrity troll, George. You were right! It's the rodeo-riding troll from the internet." Portia took Yumfuck's outstretched paw and got to her feet. "This is Yumfuck Tiberius Troll. He lives down the street now. This is George, my husband, a wizard."
"That's quite the name to live up to, Yumfuck. On several levels."
Portia held up her hand to the side of her face and whispered, "Everyone in this building is a magical of one kind or another. It's our version of a retirement co-op, with an added twist."
"Nice to meet you, George. Let me know if I can ever be of service. I do some protection and rescue work on the side."
"I get it...like a superhero."
Yumfuck lifted his chin, his hands on his hips, and puffed out his chest.
"Totally see it. You have a phone number, just in case? That'd be good to have." George carefully looked him up and down. "Would you like some lemonade? Portia made it."
Yumfuck let out a soft trill and took the glass, downing it in one gulp.
His lips puckered and his eyes grew bigger as he smiled.
"The wife makes it kind of strong." George chuckled. "Superhero work must make you thirsty."
"You get me, George. You really get me."
The door of the brownstone opened, and Portia smiled. "Oh, here come the others."
A group of seniors came slowly down the stairs. Yumfuck got up to help, but Portia put out her hand, stopping him. "Don't let them fool you. None of them are that old in magical years. It's all a show for any humans who may be watching. If we don't, then they'll think it's a remake of Cocoon over here."
"Look! A troll," said George. "Cut it out, Elijah, he's already bonded. That's Elijah, a Wood Elf. He has the place on the top floor. Can blend into damn near anything. Surprised me while I was trying to eat my Lucky Charms. Almost dropped the bowl."
"That was a good one." Elijah's glamour slipped for a moment. He touched the railing and his skin briefly took on the look of polished black iron, returning to a warm brown tone as the glamour was restored.
"Next time I'm throwing the bowl and asking questions later,” said George.
"I'm Marcy and behind me is Emmitt. We're both Light Elves."
"That's most of the crowd," Portia said. She put up her hand and waved at the people making their way down the steps. "Emmitt come meet Yumfuck. He's our new neighbor."
"He's our new neighborhood watch with claws," said George, smiling.
"Would you look at that?" Marcy came closer, bending down, her hands on her hips. "I love trolls! Aren't you the cutest thing ever, and I like that name...has a certain ring to it. Never had the courage to try and bond with one..."
Yumfuck let out a cackle. "It's by mutual agreement, Marcy. You wouldn't have a chance."
Marcy shook with laughter, her bracelets jangling on her arm. "Too true."
Emmitt rubbed his bearded chin. "I saw you on a video. Well played, getting the locals to think it was all fake news." Emmitt pulled out a Payday candy bar and unwrapped it, the smell of salty peanuts hit the air.
Yumfuck swallowed hard and licked his lips, doing his best not to stare directly at it.
"Where are you guys off to?" Portia dug her trowel into the dirt and tossed a rock to the side.
Elijah shook his head. "We're heading down to the local Silver Griffins outpost to report our stolen lawn gnomes."
"My bike went missing last week," said Emmett. "They have so much going on over there we don't expect anyone to care."
"Hooligans." Yumfuck took another glance at the quickly-disappearing candy. "What were we saying?"
"We've all been here for decades," said Marcy, punching her fist into her hand. "It used to be the safest place you could be. There was a time when this was an up and coming neighborhood."
"Some of it got up and left." Elijah crossed his arms over his chest.
"Sad but true. Crime around here has skyrocketed. I've had to put stronger protections around this building every year. Not easy to maintain, either."
Yumfuck casually picked up a fallen peanut and popped it into his mouth as he formed a plan. This was his chance. At last. Robberies, muggings, and missing bikes and lawn gnomes.
"There's a lot of magic standing right here. How come you guys can't catch them? They had to leave a trail. Thank you, don't mind if I do." Yumfuck took a lemon cooler off the plate George held out to him and slid it into his mouth, trilling contentedly, powder dusting his belly. Relief at last...
George put the plate back on the tray. "This city is a wonderful place to live, but there are definitely sections you want to stay out of, even with a wand."
Elijah shuddered. "What he's trying to say is, not all magicals are law abiding. Magic is seeping back in and it's a whole new world out there."
"What about the Silver Griffins?"
"They do the best they can but they're going after bigger fish. Still, we're going to report it. Create a record, just in case."
Marcy looked at the townhouse down the block. "Do you live in that big house all on your own?"
"I have company. A family." The troll smiled, showing his sharp little teeth. "Leira and my food pusher, Correk." He laughed, holding his belly.
Portia smiled. "You are just what this neighborhood needs."
"That and a good neighborhood doughnut place,” said Elijah.
"Aloha!" chirped the troll.
Marcy stood up. "Hey, are you guys hungry? I have mac and cheese, and there’s hot dogs left over from the cookout yesterday. I can warm it up so it’s ready when you get back from the Silver Griffins precinct."
"I can help cook." Yumfuck put down his backpack. Friends. This is going to be okay. He trilled softly.
"That'll work. Invite your roomies. I'm guessing they have a little magic running through their veins, too? Good, everybody come on over and we'll fire up the grill. It can be a welcome party."
Yumfuck ran back to the townhouse but found it empty. There was a note on the counter in Correk's neat handwriting. I know it's you. Leave me the KitKats.
"There were KitKats? Challenge taken." The troll glanced around the shelves in the pantry but didn't see anything. No time. New friends and hot dogs were waiting.
He ran back out of the front door and down the sidewalk to where Marcy was waiting for him. He followed her up the stairs to the second floor to her apartment.
"Where’s your family?” she asked.
“Everyone’s out. It’s just me today.”
“More than enough. We don't lock the doors much during the day. The spell over this place has done a pretty good job so far. I'm not even sure where I left my key." Marcy shrugged. "I suppose that's going to be changing a little."
Yumfuck went in and looked around, picking up a snow globe of the Virgo mountains and pictures of the royal gardens and the Dark Forest on the walls. "These are all from Oriceran."
"Good eye. I like you. Anyone named Yumfuck has to have something special going on." Marcy moved a deck of cards with different Oriceran symbols on the backs, making room for some paper plates. Yumfuck gasped and clasped his hands to his chest in delight.
"I'll play you a hand." Yumfuck climbed on top of the counter. "I don't suppose you want to play for snacks?"
"You've seen these before?" Marcy picked them up,
shuffling them in one hand. "My grandmother used them to tell people their future." Marcy gave Yumfuck a sly wink. "I use them to tell Emmett the future I want to see." She put them back down. "Maybe later. We have a party to throw!"
Marcy handed Yumfuck an orange ceramic bowl filled with Watergate salad. "It's a local favorite. More like dessert," she said, holding the bowl down to show him. Yumfuck leaned toward her with his tongue out but Marcy lifted the bowl with a laugh. "Is this too much for you to carry?"
Yumfuck held his hands over his head. "I'm freakishly strong. Eight feet of power packed into five inches. Hand it over."
"No sampling ahead of time." Marcy put the bowl in his hands, staying nearby and holding her breath. The five inch troll strutted across the kitchen floor, the bowl jiggling above him but never slipping. "I'll get the door," said Marcy, holding open the back door and pointing at the fire escape that led down into the fenced yard. "You sure you can make it down those steps?"
"With my eyes shut." He squeezed his eyes shut to demonstrate and jumped off the first step, the contents bouncing up and then back down into the bowl. He looked back at Marcy's pale face and winked. "See?"
Marcy opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Her fingers glowed for a moment, reaching out but she thought better of it. "It's just a bowl," she muttered. "Let him have his fun," she said, with one eye shut as she watched him bounce and jiggle off each step, letting out loud whoops of delight.
Yumfuck sucked in his cheeks and kept looking back. "What, whaaaaaat?" He inched toward the edge of the next step and jumped again. "Wooooohooooo!" The troll continued to bounce down the stairs, moving the bowl from left to right without losing a marshmallow.
Elijah was already out there heating up the grill, wearing a black apron that read, Classy, Sassy, and a Bit Smart-Assy. "Yumfuck! What do you have there?"
Marcy leaned over the railing. "Elijah? Is that you down there?"
"I stayed behind to help get the party started. No point all of us trooping down there so they can tell us nothing can be done." He put down the spatula and took the bowl from Yumfuck. "Ooooh Watergate salad. Dessert in a bowl but you get to call it salad. The best." Elijah scooped out a bowl for Yumfuck. "I'll get you a spoon." But he snorted with laughter when the troll dove in headfirst and was quickly at the bottom of the bowl.
Marcy came down the steps with small white bowls and spotted the peaks of whipped cream on Yumfuck's furry face. "First whipped cream?" She dished out a little more for him.
"First time mixing marshmallows with whipped cream," he said sticking his finger into his bowl. "Better than Cheetos." His eyes grew wider as he chomped down on a pistachio.
He dipped his paw, getting a marshmallow and pineapple on a claw with a glob of green whipped topping and shoved it into his mouth.
"That's high praise," said Marcy.
"We're back already." Portia and George came down the alley into the backyard. "An agent took the report, but that was about it," she said, her lips pressed together in a thin line.
"You never know," said Elijah. "We did our part. Time to party."
"Good, huh?" George asked, sitting down next to Yumfuck. "She makes it every summer and brings some over to me and Portia. Doesn't last two days."
Yumfuck climbed back in his bowl to lick it clean. He rolled on his back and put his furry little arms behind his head, letting out a deep breath. "Friends make a home."
"I couldn't have said it better." George held up a knuckle to fist bump with the troll.
"What's it like where you're from?" Elijah spread out the hotdogs on the grill. "I've heard stories about Oriceran, but I haven't had a chance to go. I keep meaning to take a trip, see the floating islands over the ocean. They have hotels?"
"Small cottages you can rent. It's all beautiful," Yumfuck told him. "Blue skies, two moons, an endless forest filled with flowers and animals and birds. Thousands of trolls," he said, trilling. "Magical heaven."
"Do you have family there?"
"Yeah." Yumfuck smiled. "Hundreds of brothers and sisters. One of the smaller troll families."
"A few hundred..." George lifted an eyebrow. "I thought I would go crazy with three kids. Bless your mother."
"She's the best. There was the time she set up a treasure hunt and at the end were chocolate coins..."
Everyone took turns telling stories, welcoming the troll into the neighborhood and eating second and third helpings.
By the time night had fallen Yumfuck was full and happy. He curled up in George's golf hat while George, Elijah and Emmett play a rousing game of rummy with Marcy's enchanted cards. "Look at that! You will get a new bike," said George, slapping down a card.
Marcy stood at the base of the fire escape and yawned, giving the signal that the party was ending.
"Wheel of Fortune will be on in ten minutes," Portia yelled to George from their kitchen door at the bottom of the fire escape.
"That's my cue." George scooped the sleepy troll out of his hat and put it on his balding head. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Yumfuck. Don't be a stranger."
"Aloha." The troll smacked his lips and got up, slinging the backpack over his shoulders.
"Don't forget your leftovers, Yumfuck." Marcy came down the fire escape with a large covered paper plate. "A midnight snack for you."
He smiled and took the wrapped plate of leftovers from Marcy.
"I've heard about troll appetites." She gave a wave and held the back gate open for the troll. He yawned and held up the plate, bobbing down the alley toward home.
Just as he reached the Georgian townhouse a gust of cold wind swept around him, ruffling the fur down his back. He shivered, jiggling the plate, sensing something more than cold in the air. "It's just weather," he whispered. "Nothing more... I hope."
Chapter Ten
Leira stood at the edge of the dank tunnel, balancing her Merrill sneakers on the cobblestones set in place along the edge near the curved wall. A recent hard rain had flooded parts of the two hundred year old tunnel beneath Georgetown and left pools of water everywhere.
"Interesting place to meet. How did you even know this was here?"
"Sometimes even magicals like to go low tech," said Lois, smiling, pushing her glasses up her nose. She tapped her wand impatiently against her leg. "This tunnel was built by Silver Griffins back in the early nineteenth century and every year since then we add a little to the wards protecting it."
Up came her wand, thrust forward and shooting out a spray of fire that fizzled before it ever got to the wall. "You're standing in one of the soundest structures in this world. In recent years we've learned to tweak the wards and make it impossible to record audio or take pictures. Added bonus no one saw coming is you can't get cell coverage down here either." She slid her wand into a pocket. "I love this place."
Lois tilted her head to one side. "Not too many outside of the Silver Griffins ever gains knowledge of it, much less stand inside of it. But you said this was more important than Rhazdon and needed to be kept a secret. You got my attention."
"There's a new threat. A Light Elf named Wolfstan Humphrey. He's Oriceran born and now living in this world." Leira tapped her shirt covering the scar on her belly. "He's the force behind the mutilation of living things with artifacts and technology."
"Son of a bitch." Lois jabbed her glasses back up her nose again. "Wait till Earle hears this one. Boy, I'll tell you, when a magical goes bad there's no telling what will pop up." Lois stopped suddenly and eyed Leira. "Wait. That doesn't make me your go to. I'm not an expert on any of that kind of magic. What am I not seeing?"
Leira didn't hesitate to tell Lois the rest. An old Hagan rule. Don't spare others the bad news by waiting. It only makes it worse. "He runs a corporation, a large one, outside of Austin, Texas called Fleeker."
Lois gave an audible gasp. "Lily."
Leira waited, letting it sink in for Lois.
Lois shook her head, reflexively pulling her wand back out as if she was
in a battle. "I know what you're asking. No and that's a hard no. That's my niece."
"I know what I'm asking, but the threat is overwhelming."
"Which is why you don't ask an untrained biologist to play spy for you with a monster who can..." She waved her wand in the air, throwing sparks at the large stones. "Who can create monsters. What if he caught her?" A shudder passed down her body.
"If I knew of another way, I would do it. I am doing it. All of them. He's had a long time to prepare whatever it is he's up to..."
"You don't even know?" Her voice rose, echoing in the tunnel.
"I have pieces of the puzzle but at this point trying to guess may cause me to miss details. He wants power and a lot of it, but what he plans to do with it is hard to say. We're not even sure what he would do with altered magicals if he ever manages to perfect the procedure." Leira licked her lips. "That's what he's doing on the tenth floor of the main building on the Fleeker campus. Yumfuck was able to get in there and saw it for himself."
"But that's impossible. Lily loves that place. She talks about it all the time like it's nirvana."
"That's the best way to hide a new address for hell."
Lois' eyes shined behind her glasses and she swallowed hard. "If you were asking me, I'd have already left for Austin. But my niece..."
"I'm sorry but I'm going to ask you to think about it. I have to because if we don't figure out a way to stop him, then hell will come right up to our doorstep, but it won't be on our timetable and Wolfstan Humphrey will be even better prepared. If we're going to fight him and win, it will take all of us working together."
"Come up with another way. Please."
"I will try." Leira took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "This threat is growing every day and there's no time to waste."
"Can I tell Patsy?"
