“Then what’s the problem?” Blake questioned. “Seems to me if you’re that crazy about the woman you’d be jumping at the chance to go to Red Bluff.”
Unable to look the man in the face, Matthew rested his hip on the corner of Blake’s desk and stared at the intricate design on the tiled floor. “I don’t want to go—because it hurts too much. I’ll—” He drew in a long breath and blew it out. “After a few days I’ll have to leave again and that’s not an easy thing to do.”
Somewhere inside him, he found the courage to look Blake in the eye. “Can you imagine driving away from Katherine and not knowing if, or when, you might see her again?”
Sudden dawning passed over Blake’s handsome face, followed by a wealth of compassion. “You really do love my sister,” he said gently.
Matthew nodded. “I didn’t want to. It just happened.”
“Yeah. It’s something a man can’t stop.” Blake’s perceptive gaze continued to study Matthew’s face. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“There’s not much I can do. She’s made a life for herself there. I couldn’t ask her to leave it. I know what that’s like, Blake. Renee did it to me and—I resented it like hell—and that’s when I knew it was over between us. I’m not about to do that to Camille.”
Blake remained thoughtful. “Sounds like you’re in a mess. Does she know how you feel about her?”
Matthew gave him a noncommittal shrug. “I think she does.”
“Think! Man, you can’t just let a woman wonder about such things! That’s dangerous!”
Matthew was amazed that Blake couldn’t fully comprehend the situation. Telling Camille how he felt wasn’t going to change anything. It was only going to make matters far more miserable.
Matthew walked over to a wastebasket and tossed away the foam cup and bitter coffee. “So you say.”
From his seat behind the desk, Blake continued to watch him, and Matthew got the feeling the man was calculating something. He just couldn’t imagine what it might be.
“Matthew, are you afraid Camille might not be over Graham Danby?”
I want to laugh until my sides hurt.
Camille’s words suddenly waltzed through his mind and he barked out a loud laugh. “Not in the least.”
Blake shot him an odd look, then said, “Okay. I want you to go pack your bags and head to Red Bluff in the morning. And I expect you to stay until the weather clears. Got it?”
“Yeah. I got it. I’m just going to ask one thing of you. Can I take TooTall with me?”
Blake gave him a single nod. “I’ll call him right now and let him know to be ready.”
Matthew started to the door.
Behind him, Blake added, “And Matthew, things have a way of working out. So no more worrying about anything. Hear me?”
Hardly encouraged, Matthew nodded and left the office.
Chapter Thirteen
Camille stood in the middle of the living room of the Red Bluff hacienda and surveyed the Christmas decorations she’d been slowly putting up this past week. Red, pink and white poinsettias adorned the tables and flanked the hearth of the fireplace, while on a wall table, she’d erected a small nativity scene complete with wise men, shepherds and barn animals. In front of the window overlooking the back courtyard, a tall pine was covered with twinkling lights, sparkling tinsel, bows and ornaments of all colors, and a pretty angel sitting on the highest bough. The festive tree gave her a measure of comfort, but it couldn’t take away the dark doubts weighing on her shoulders.
Today she’d come to the conclusion that she couldn’t put off seeing Matthew any longer. Christmas was rapidly approaching and before the parties at Three Rivers began in earnest and The Lost Antelope was jammed with holiday travelers, she needed to make a trip to Yavapai County and give Matthew the news about the coming baby.
Since her fiasco of an engagement with Graham had ended more than two years ago, Camille hadn’t stepped foot on Three Rivers. For the first few months after she’d left the ranch, she’d been afraid to go back, afraid to face her family and the failure of being unable to hold on to her fiancé. However, it hadn’t taken her long to see that sort of thinking was ludicrous. Graham hadn’t been worth a second thought. Besides, everyone failed at something at some point in their life.
But this thing with Matthew was a whole different matter. She loved him with all her heart and she was going to have his baby. Even if he didn’t want to be in their lives on a daily basis, she wanted him to know how she felt about him, and about the baby they’d created together. She could go back to Three Rivers for all those reasons.
Squaring her shoulders, she climbed the stairs to her bedroom and pulled out a pair of suitcases from beneath the bed.
Both of them were nearly filled with the clothes and toiletries she thought she’d need for the short stay, when her cell phone rang.
Moving over to the nightstand, she picked up the phone, and then, seeing the name of the caller, promptly placed it back on the tabletop. Ever since elementary school, Emily-Ann had been her best friend, and normally she would be happy to chat with her. But the two of them had always shared their ups and downs with each other. Camille feared that once she started talking she wouldn’t be able to quit. She’d end up telling her about Matthew and the baby, and Camille couldn’t risk the chance of him getting the news from anyone other than herself. Not that Emily-Ann was a gossiper, but things slipped out accidentally sometimes.
The phone stopped ringing and Camille went back to her packing. But less than two minutes later, it started ringing again. Only this time the caller wasn’t Emily-Ann. It was Peggy.
Camille quickly answered it. “Peg, I’m glad you called because I needed to talk to you about the diner.”
“Well, I’m calling about the diner, too,” the woman explained. “Edie needs off in the morning, so I told her I’d fill in for her. If that’s okay with you.”
Camille sank onto the edge of the bed. “It’s okay. It just means that Gideon will have to help you cook.”
“Me and Gideon cooking together, oh Lord. That’s going to be fun. Uh—why, are you too sick to come in or something?”
“I’m feeling okay. But I’m going to take off for a day or two—three at the most. Do you think you and Gideon can handle the place? If Edie is going to be off for very long—”
“No. She only need a couple of hours in the morning. Otherwise, she’ll be at work. But why do you need to take off? Are you keeping something from me, Camille? Is something wrong with the baby?”
“No. No. Quit worrying. I’ve decided to drive up to Three Rivers and tell Matthew about the baby.”
“Oh.”
“Yes. Oh. And I want to get it done and over with before Christmas.”
“That’s a good idea, Camille,” Peggy replied. “You’re doing the right thing.”
Camille pinched the bridge of her nose and willed away the tears that were always near the surface of her emotions. “I know, Peg. It’s just going to be—difficult. And not only with seeing Matthew, but facing my whole family. They’re all going to be whispering that little Camille has messed up again.”
“Who says you’ve messed up? I don’t.”
From Peggy’s standpoint, Camille was blessed. Husband or not, she was going to have a child of her own. “Well, you’re just a bit biased, Peggy. But thanks for your support.”
“So, when are you leaving for Three Rivers?” Peggy asked.
Camille answered, “As early in the morning as possible.”
“That might be wise, to get up there before the weather turns bad,” Peggy advised. “I keep hearing we’re going to get snow or possibly freezing rain in our area. Can you believe it?”
“I’ll believe it when I see it. But say a little prayer for me anyway. The last thing I want is to get stranded on a slick highway.”
“I’ll say two prayers for you, Camille. For safe, clear driving and for good luck with Matthew.”
“Thanks, Peggy. As far as Matthew is concerned, I’m going to need that miracle we’ve talked about.”
The two women talked a few more minutes about the diner and then ended the call.
Camille went to work finishing her packing, but before she zipped the lid shut on the last case, she fetched a little Christmas angel from the nightstand and dropped it among the folded clothing.
* * *
The next morning before daylight, Camille jumped out of bed as soon as the alarm went off, but she didn’t get the early start she’d been planning on. As soon as her feet touched the floor, nausea hit her in giant waves.
After fetching a few crackers from the kitchen, she lay back down in the bed and slowly munched on the dry food in hopes it would settle her roiling stomach.
By the time sunshine was beginning to peek through the curtains on the window, she’d eaten the crackers and to her great relief was feeling well enough to get up and dress.
She was about to remove her robe when she heard a faint rattling noise that sounded very much like a stock trailer going by the house. Which would be strange, she thought. At this time of the year, Blake didn’t purchase or sell cattle, nor did he move them from one place to the other. So why was a trailer being used at this early hour in the morning?
Telling herself that the comings and goings of the ranch hands were hardly her business, she reached for the jeans she’d laid out to wear when a faint knock sounded on the kitchen door at the back of the house.
Annoyed at the interruption, she tossed the jeans back onto the bed and, tying the sash of her robe back around her waist, she hurried downstairs and out to the kitchen.
Before she managed to reach the door, the knock sounded again, only longer this time. With an impatient shake of her head, she called out, “Just a minute. I’m coming!”
Flinging her tousled hair back off her face, she unbolted the door and pulled it open, then nearly fainted.
“Matthew!” His name was all she could manage as she stared at him in stunned fascination. He was wearing his normal work clothes, only this morning his shirt was covered with a brown canvas jacket. The dark leather collar was turned up against his neck and the brim of his gray hat was pulled low over his forehead. Cold wind had left his skin splotched with red.
“Hello, Camille.”
Her mind whirling with a storm of questions, she pushed the door wide and gestured for him to come in.
He stepped into the kitchen and she shut the door against the freezing air whooshing in behind him.
He said, “I—uh—guess you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”
Clamping her trembling hands together, she turned to face him. “Since I’ve not talked to Blake, I have no idea why you’re here.”
He grimaced, and as Camille’s gaze slipped over him, she thought he looked gaunt and just a bit haggard. The idea that he might’ve been ill sent fear spiraling through her. Even though the man was breaking her heart, she wanted him to be healthy and happy and safe. That was the true meaning of loving someone. And she truly loved Matthew.
“The weather,” he said.
When he didn’t explain further, she looked at him blankly. “Uh—what about the weather? Other than it’s cold for Cochise County.”
“And it’s going to get colder. It might even snow. So Blake sent me down to watch over the cattle for the next few days. If worse comes to worst we might have to herd as many as we can into the barns.”
She released the pent-up breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding until now. “Oh, I see. Peggy mentioned something to me last night about snow. I honestly didn’t take her seriously.”
“It’s serious. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.”
She practically flinched at that, but managed to keep a stoic look on her face as she turned and walked over to the cabinet. “I’d offer you some coffee, but I’ve not made any yet. I’m running late this morning.”
“I need to get down to the barn anyway and help TooTall unload the horses.”
“Okay.” She glanced over her shoulder to see him wiping a gloved hand over his face. Just looking at him made her ache to throw herself into his arms. “Uh—while you’re here, will you be staying in the house?”
“The bunkhouse is full,” he said. “But if my being in the house bothers you, I can probably wedge another cot in somewhere.”
Were they crazy? Camille wondered. They were talking to each other like two strangers awkwardly trying to communicate in different languages.
Marching back over to where he stood, she frowned at him. “It’s a little late to be worrying about something like that now, don’t you think?”
“Camille, I don’t have time to discuss sleeping arrangements right now! I—”
It was all she could do to keep from slapping his face. “I’ll bet you don’t,” she muttered. “Just like you didn’t have the time or the courtesy to wake me and tell me goodbye.”
His face turned a sickening gray color. “I had my reasons for leaving like I did.”
“Sure you did. The main one being that you’re a coward!”
His jaw grew tight and then he looked away from her. “You’re right,” he said stiffly. “When it comes to you and me, I’m a big coward.”
She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that and trying to figure it out could wait until later, she thought. Right now, there was something far more important on her mind.
“Matthew, maybe you’re curious as to why I’m not already at the diner this morning. And maybe you’re not. But I’ll explain it anyway. I was planning to leave in a few minutes for Three Rivers.”
She had never seen him looking so shocked, or seen so many questions swirling in his gray eyes.
“Three Rivers! I don’t believe it!”
She could understand his disbelief. Like him, she’d been a coward for far too long. But she was well and truly over that now. “If you don’t believe me, go look in my car. My bags are already loaded in the back seat.”
His lips parted. “But why? It’s still a few weeks before Christmas,” he said, and then his eyes suddenly narrowed. “Does your family know you’re going up there?”
She shook her head. “No. Seeing them wasn’t my main reason for going. And now that you’re here there’s no need for me to go at all.”
He looked confused and suspicious at the same time. “Why?”
“Because you’re the one I was really going to see.”
“Me?”
She nodded, and as luck would have it, a pang of queasiness shot through her stomach. Her hand unwittingly pressed against her abdomen as she fought against the urge to rush over to the sink and throw up all the crackers she’d eaten.
“Yes, you,” she said hoarsely. “I thought you needed to know that you’re going to be a daddy.”
His eyes grew wide and then his jaw dropped. “Are you saying—are you telling me that—”
Nodding, she said, “Yes, I’m pregnant. In roughly seven and a half months you’ll be more than Three Rivers’s foreman. You’ll be the father of a Hollister baby.”
The sickly gray color of his face was suddenly blotched with spots of bright color. Other than the changes in his complexion, his face was a mask, making it impossible to determine what he was thinking.
“How long have you known?” he asked quietly.
“Only a few days. I never suspected I was pregnant. I was on the Pill and thought it was impossible for me to conceive. But I’ve been so sick I had to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong,” she explained.
“Sick? Are you all right now?”
His hands curved over the tops of her shoulders and it was all Camille could do to keep from flinging herself into his a
rms and sobbing out how much she loved him. But she should’ve done that weeks ago, before he left Red Bluff, she thought miserably. Now it would look far too convenient and contrived to start talking about love.
“Not exactly,” she answered. “I’m having a heck of a bout of morning sickness right this minute.”
“Oh.” He let out a heavy breath and then, taking her by the arm, led her over to one of the chairs at the kitchen table.
Camille took a seat, and he walked over to the sink and tore off several paper towels. After he’d wet them in cold water he carried them back to her.
“Here,” he said. “Wipe your face. It might help.”
She did as he suggested, then pulled in several deep breaths before she turned her attention back to him. As she watched him tug off his gloves and remove his hat, Camille decided he actually looked sicker than she was. Undoubtedly, he was still in a state of shock over the news.
He laid the items on the tabletop, then assessed her with a piercing look. “What do you think your family is going to say about this—about the baby?”
“I don’t have to wonder about that, Matthew. They’ll be very happy for me.”
“And what about you?” he questioned, his face still an unreadable mask. “How do you feel about it?”
His stilted questions were annoying the heck out of her. This wasn’t the Matthew she knew. Or the Matthew she’d fallen in love with. This man was as cold and stiff as a board out on the cattle barn. Had learning he was going to be a father done this to him? Or had the past weeks he’d been back at Three Rivers made him forget every tender moment they’d shared together?
“How do you think?” She shot the question back at him, and then, with a rueful sigh, added in a softer voice, “I’m in love with this baby. Totally and completely in love with it.”
“Then that’s all I need to know. Tomorrow we’re going to drive down to Bisbee and get married at the courthouse,” he told her in no uncertain terms. “I want this child to have legal, legitimate parents.”
Camille stared at him while the pain lancing through her chest made her forget all about the upheaval in her stomach. No words of love. No proposal of marriage. Or vows to be at her side for the rest of his life. This had to be the coldest, cruelest thing he or any man could ever say to her.
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